Funny people everywhere.

More wisdom i pray for you... i love thi your contribution. God bless you and keep your home safe.

Klass99:


I am curious Mufasa, have you ever enjoyed sex with a reluctant and unwilling partner? Answer truthfully o!

@ Tobechi, you made valid points but so did Tickles001.

My personal ideology of marriage has always been two adults taking good care of each other. And that means in every way possible - sexually, financially, emotionally, physically and otherwise.

In marriage, I believe our bodies belong to each other, it's about giving and receiving care, being there for the other person even when you don't feel like it, but they need you.

We owe each other sex, as well as respect, intimacy and more.....If I am tired and not in the mood, I will simply tell my man, I'm tired so bear with me if I don't bring my A Game to this show or I am not an active and enthusiastic participant tonight.

I won't say no or deny him the cookie, because when he flips that script on me I am sure I won't like it or find it funny.

see question

what nonsense thread be this

just like saying do husbands owe their wives Money or their children money

tobechi20:
Bring kids into the picture, and often, one’s sex drive takes a nose dive. Especially for mothers.

Low libido is a very common issue for new mothers as they are healing from childbirth, grappling with fluctuating hormones and extreme sleep deprivation.

While we know adjusting to a new baby can profoundly impact a couple’s life (including sexual intimacy), we, as a society, act like it shouldn’t. We act like there’s something wrong with a new mother needing a timeout from sex.

New mothers who admit to having less sex drive are often met with people urging, “Just do it anyway,” and “You’ll get in the mood.”

But what if you don’t get in the mood, even when you take this advice? What then?

Why aren’t the feelings of the woman valid? Shouldn’t she be listening to her body? Her mind?

I’m not sure where we got this idea that a husband owns his wife’s vagina. Or that he is entitled to intercourse, MouthAction, handling, or groping. I’m pretty sure I didn’t see that covenant in the paperwork. But I have an inkling that this entitlement is very much based in misogyny and male privilege.

Men are led to believe, often since they are young boys, that women should have sex with them when they want it. Even when their wives are not “in the mood.” Because sex is the way he feels intimate. Sex is the way he connects. Because putting your husband’s sexual desires first is supposedly the best way to avoid divorce.

These antiquated and sexist designs for marriage are damaging to women.

When a married mom doesn’t put out, she’s called “cold” and “selfish” and the dreaded “bitch.” She’s told she must have “something else going on” mentally. Outsiders to the marriage, and maybe even therapists, will question if the wife was ever sexually assaulted. Does she have a history of trauma? They’ll try to make connections that aren’t there. Because how could a wife possibly not want to have sex with her husband?

It is sickening and horrific to think of a woman having sex against her will, married or not. It’s disgusting that we automatically assume something must be “wrong” with a woman who is having a gap in her groove. Beyond all that, it’s dangerous.

Suggesting that married women and mothers should just “do it anyway” is sexual bullying and coercion. If a husband acts on the “just do it anyway” cliché and forces it — that’s called rape.

When we attack married mothers for not putting out, we’re reaffirming once again what’s important in this society.

A man’s needs, not a woman’s. A man’s voice, not a woman’s voice.

Tickles001:
If everyone starts to do things only when they're in the mood or only when it's owed. How do you think the world would be like.

What do you think will play out in the family if the man wakes up one morning and decides he's not funding the house for a whole month because he doesn't feel like, or not in the mood. Or decides that he needs to quit his job and get a break because he's depressed and stressed out.
He's been doing like 3 side hustles, plus his main job. Things he entirely doesn't feel like doing. He needs a break, but he's not taking it.

If a woman naturally turns cold. A reasonable man would understand. But most times women just use it to show defiance.
The same woman that has 3kids and now cold, is the same woman that will go and be feeling kinky with a colleague in the office. Even when the said colleague is not doing anything to attract her.

Have sex with your partner is one of the simple things someone would do if there's still a tiny bit of attraction left in the union.

Men do a lot of things that is actually against their will. They go through biological changes too. All those stuffs you wrote up there has a masculine version of it. But if everyone starts making a long case out of simple things just like you did. Then nothing will ever work out and happiness will elude everyone at the end.

I wonder how people think like this sef. Simple something

A married woman with 2kids from this nairaland once told me that her husband is not giving her enough sex. That she wants it more now, than when she was without child. And she is a busy woman.
How come she's not cold?

I like how you chose to buttress your point of view with your concluding paragraph. The notion that sex is about men being crazy for it is a general miseducation.

The truth is women love sex as much as men if not even far more. All it takes is making women comfortable in their skin so as to be able to have the will and courage to initiate for sex. That is when a man will know what it means by being a husband.

To allow PEACE to reign somtimes, I wld say yes. And the other way around too.

Marriage is an institution bound by laws, responsibilitites and committments. Imagine if you have a 50 percent stake with another in a business and you do work only if you are in the mood? Will that be sustainable? Thats it. There are things we do just to make something work. No one owes anybody anything really. We owe ourselves instead and when we pay that which we owe our own self, we grow our relationship. Its all about perspective. If you think you can do as you like in marriage, you really will not get anything out of it. Including starving your partner and adulterty.

Make I park here dey entertain myself as I never marry.
I don already know watin I go do if my wife say e no wan do. Make I just dey enjoy the comments.

Like say when una dey take vows of marriage no be unconditional love una promise each other...

DriverX:
This is where you'll find Nigerians... Typing novels about sex sex sex. Why won't your population skyrocket, simultaneously along with poverty? Keep fucking_.... Una eye go soon clear.

Why won’t we talk about sex, sex, sex when our president said all women belong to the other room, meanwhile he was standing beside the West Germany president Angela Merkel
We are good clones of our president

Tobechi

[Men are led to believe, often since they are young boys, that women should have sex with them when they want it. Even when their wives are not “in the mood.” Because sex is the way he feels intimate. Sex is the way he connects. Because putting your husband’s sexual desires first is supposedly the best way to avoid divorce.

It's seems you've gotten high over the feminist manifesto you've been reading right?
What is the evidence for the above you posted? You people will sha be making up narrative to suit yourselves.
Or would you like to tell me the story of your mother pulling your brothers by the ear at the age of 10 (or you if you are not a poser) and telling th that them must forcefully have sex with their wives?


Cook up the narrative better next time please

dear op marriage is all about sacrifice if you are not ready for sacrifice I'd advice you remain single and no one i repeat nobody will disturb ur peace of mind

tobechi20:
There should never be blame placed on a woman because her husband isn’t getting all the sex he wants. We’re made to feel like we should woman up and just do it already, but who wants to have sex because they feel they should?

All this BS you wrote, have you also written that men should not give their wives money when the husbands are not in the mood?

Did you hear that he who pays the piper dictates the tune

A woman doesn't owe her husband sex, she owes him love and vice versa.

A loveless marriage is worst than a sexless marriage.

Sex is only forced in a loveless marriage.

tobechi20:
Bring kids into the picture, and often, one’s sex drive takes a nose dive. Especially for mothers.

Low libido is a very common issue for new mothers as they are healing from childbirth, grappling with fluctuating hormones and extreme sleep deprivation.

While we know adjusting to a new baby can profoundly impact a couple’s life (including sexual intimacy), we, as a society, act like it shouldn’t. We act like there’s something wrong with a new mother needing a timeout from sex.

New mothers who admit to having less sex drive are often met with people urging, “Just do it anyway,” and “You’ll get in the mood.”

But what if you don’t get in the mood, even when you take this advice? What then?

Why aren’t the feelings of the woman valid? Shouldn’t she be listening to her body? Her mind?

I’m not sure where we got this idea that a husband owns his wife’s vagina. Or that he is entitled to intercourse, MouthAction, handling, or groping. I’m pretty sure I didn’t see that covenant in the paperwork. But I have an inkling that this entitlement is very much based in misogyny and male privilege.

Men are led to believe, often since they are young boys, that women should have sex with them when they want it. Even when their wives are not “in the mood.” Because sex is the way he feels intimate. Sex is the way he connects. Because putting your husband’s sexual desires first is supposedly the best way to avoid divorce.

These antiquated and sexist designs for marriage are damaging to women.

When a married mom doesn’t put out, she’s called “cold” and “selfish” and the dreaded “bitch.” She’s told she must have “something else going on” mentally. Outsiders to the marriage, and maybe even therapists, will question if the wife was ever sexually assaulted. Does she have a history of trauma? They’ll try to make connections that aren’t there. Because how could a wife possibly not want to have sex with her husband?

It is sickening and horrific to think of a woman having sex against her will, married or not. It’s disgusting that we automatically assume something must be “wrong” with a woman who is having a gap in her groove. Beyond all that, it’s dangerous.

Suggesting that married women and mothers should just “do it anyway” is sexual bullying and coercion. If a husband acts on the “just do it anyway” cliché and forces it — that’s called rape.

When we attack married mothers for not putting out, we’re reaffirming once again what’s important in this society.

A man’s needs, not a woman’s. A man’s voice, not a woman’s voice.

I wasn't taught that my wife owes me sex no matter what. May be that's why I think my wife and I should have sex when we both want it.

Before I got married I always view some of my friends that are married who are flirting outside as people that are not responsible. But now I understand. When my wife put to bed, we did not have sex for like 3 months +. When we start having sex the flow was not like before she got pregnant and put to bed. Omo their was this night my wife was not in the mood but she decide to give in, it was one of the worst sexual experience I have in my life. Since then once my wife is not in the mood I decide not to bother her again. Hmmmm the side chick I'm criticising my friends years back I'm into it now. Last last konji na bastard.

If I no ask for two days my wife go change am for me o.

seyz91:
see question

whar nonsense thread be this

just like saying do husbands owe their wives Money or their children money

Body and flesh did not reveal this to you, Oga but the divine spirit. Chop knuckle joor.

/

They owe them slaps.

Are you happy now?

/

tobechi20:
There should never be blame placed on a woman because her husband isn’t getting all the sex he wants. We’re made to feel like we should woman up and just do it already, but who wants to have sex because they feel they should?

Women want to want to be in the mood, too. And hopefully our partners would rather have us be in the mood than just going through the motions to satisfy them. You know what doesn’t put women in the mood? Constantly being told they aren’t as sexual as they used to be, whining, complaining, and dumbass comments about sexual wants and needs in order to function.

Having kids and a job can squeeze every ounce of sexual desire out of us on some days. Not to mention health issues and medications that can mess with a woman’s libido. Being a mom can change our sex drive drastically, because let’s face it, moms are groped more, asked for more, and required to nurture more. Moms are touched the Bleep out.

No one wants to be in a sexless partnership. But no one should be made to feel like they owe their body to anyone. EVER.

It’s more than okay to say no to your partner, and women need to stop being shamed for this. The jokes need to stop, and feeling like we should “just do it” to keep our partner happy is unacceptable.

Married or not, sex still needs to happen between two consenting people, and if she’s not in the mood and doesn’t want to be touched, she’s not consenting and should feel comfortable saying as much without shame or guilt.

End of story.


Scarymummy



https://tobechispeaks./2021/10/27/do-we-owe-our-spouses-sex/

You just typed nonsense.
My wish for you may your wife always deny you sex

On point....

Gepheral:




These points you raise gladly justifies polygamy and worst case scenario, cheating! .. When you are not in the mood, another who may or may not be in the mood, is already tying just towel and waiting for action ..

What if when you as the woman is ready and the man tells you that he's not in the mood and wouldn't give you a chance to try and swing him into it? I bet you'd be super happy huh

justli:
If you want to be a feminist and keep with the "men are scum" narrative, by all means refrain from getting married.

"Marital duty" is a thing and an obligation for that matter. If your husband irritates and turn you off, my dear that's your personal problem find a way out because the poor man deserves sexual satisfaction.

I like to see how youd feel if you're on the side of the conversation and you husband rejects you everyday, months on end because, in his excuse , he is not in the mood.

Some of you have carried this western lifestyle too far, and the thing you don't realise is that this westerners, themselves have lost it and are struggling to find their identity.

The words of the bible is a compass that holds through regardless of civilization. Use it as your guide.

This one is not even issue of "western civilisation "
This one is just pure foolery

How this one take reach front page?

Madam rest abeg, if no want give your husband sex, keep it to yourself and let those who want to do it.

Women with so many problems, if the man is not giving them attention they complain, if he demands for sex they complain.

Don't come here in the future and tell us how another woman snatched your hubby o!

Keep doing feminism propaganda wey Dem no send you.

Komu1048:



What I discovered about Simps like you is u try every means to make other men turn to simp and be dominated by women. U know what all the rubbish you typed have no place for us.

How should a woman have a say in sex, of all the things men pay to have is only women that will be claiming equality and say n simps like you unashamedly will join them. U can go back n continue washing ur madam pants

Hathor5:
Another question:

Do husbands enjoy a reluctant wife who only has sex with them out of a sense of duty aka because 'she owes them'?

speaking of which, what's your favorite sex position?

Na olosho owe their boyfrnds sex

mariahAngel:


What is inconceivable to me is the thought that the lives of some of you revolve around the vagina.

With the kind of vibe you give off though, I am forced to believe that you have no business being with a woman.

what's your favorite sex position?

bukatyne:


Let me flip the question:

Do husbands 'owe' their wives sex in marriage?

I believe it depends on the type of marriage contracted:

In Christianity, marriage is for the following (in no particular order):
1. Companionship
2. Prevent adultery aka access to godly sex
3. Raise godly children

To ensure number two is achieved, plenty Bible verses talk about husbands and wives sexually satisfying themselves. The key would be 1 Cor 7: 2 - 5:


So yes, husbands and wives owe themselves sex, companionship, support etc.

how often do you have sex?

Tickles001:
If everyone starts to do things only when they're in the mood or only when it's owed. How do you think the world would be like.

What do you think will play out in the family if the man wakes up one morning and decides he's not funding the house for a whole month because he doesn't feel like, or not in the mood. Or decides that he needs to quit his job and get a break because he's depressed and stressed out.
He's been doing like 3 side hustles, plus his main job. Things he entirely doesn't feel like doing. He needs a break, but he's not taking it.

If a woman naturally turns cold. A reasonable man would understand. But most times women just use it to show defiance.
The same woman that has 3kids and now cold, is the same woman that will go and be feeling kinky with a colleague in the office. Even when the said colleague is not doing anything to attract her.

Have sex with your partner is one of the simple things someone would do if there's still a tiny bit of attraction left in the union.

Men do a lot of things that is actually against their will. They go through biological changes too. All those stuffs you wrote up there has a masculine version of it. But if everyone starts making a long case out of simple things just like you did. Then nothing will ever work out and happiness will elude everyone at the end.

I wonder how people think like this sef. Simple something

A married woman with 2kids from this nairaland once told me that her husband is not giving her enough sex. That she wants it more now, than when she was without child. And she is a busy woman.
How come she's not cold?

That part of getting cosy around a colleague in the office, while always giving the " not in the mood " excuse is so interesting and common.

If a woman doesn't necessarily owe her husband sex in marriage , then he has the right to a side chick or a second wife. Abegi ! Who is contradicting who in this write-up sef.

Is it ok for d wife to deny the husband sex even when she is healthy

budaatum:


Tell them, though I bet some will come and tell you its not rape in Nigeria.

I paid brideprice