CHoccolaTE:



Honestly, very selfish and entitled people.

Then the idiot will become a millionaire with the money his wife supported him with and still start sleeping around and cheating on her in the name of natural polygamousness.

Imagine what Cubana chief priest said the other day, that it is normal for men to cheat on their wives as long as he keeps the side chick away from his wife. This is how almost all men in Nigeria reason. Imagine financially supporting an entitled turd that thinks cheating in you is normal.
Rubbish

Yup I thought of that point too.
They believe they are religiously or culturally entitled to more than one woman. What woman wants to fund a man who will use her money to give to other women? May even be bold enough to marry another wife and bring to the house the first wife is contributing financially to?

When they understand that their behavior and approach to marriage roles is the reason why their wives won’t partner with them, things might start to change for them.

Seun:
The main problem was that she didn't give him money. Why would you marry a guy if you dont trust him with money?

What she called emotional and verbal abuse sounds like they were fighting but she wanted to make herself the sole victim. The husband should have handled it better. He is not entitled to her money. But I think the lady contributed more to the failure of her marriage than she realizes.

She speaks of trying to get him to aspire higher which means she was not satisfied with his professional and financial status. So why marry him if his level was not high enough for you? She could have just given him money from time to time like most men who are richer than their wives tend to do.

Women no dey spare their own money. They believe their money is for them alone and their husband is not entitle to it unlike when the situation is the reverse.

FrancisDiote:
The woman is the cause of her failed marriage. If she earns more, I see no reason she couldn't help her husband with the loan after all she claimed to love him. So what is LOVE?

On the other hand, the man looks lazy, jealous, bereaved of ideas and married the woman because of her money.

And who knows, maybe the woman wasn't financially supportive at home leaving the bulk of the financial burden on the man

In all, I don't think LOVE exist between people who are not blood related. If it did, not anymore

On the bolded...see how you blatantly and conveniently heaped unprintable names on the man...the man having less financial capacity than his wife means he is lazy and his feeling of disappointment towards wife's unsupportive nature is jealousy?

Come on!!

Amotolongbo:
Give him money to do what?
She can’t just be giving him money for no just reason. She can spend her money on the home, not giving it to her husband.

A man requesting for money from a woman is only trying to trade his pride as the head of the home.

The only time a man should be given money by a woman is when it is needed for a personal and mental development which will bring a fortune to the man and home

But a man is allowed to give his wife money for no just reason abi? The one they call "pocket money". She stated that he needed money or loans for his projects, is that not 'reason' enough for you? Today you'd want equality, tomorrow equity and fairness... I no blame una.

CHoccolaTE:


The problem with giving Nigerian men money is that you will give him money for his upkeep and business and at the same time be expected to submit to him. Nigeria isn't like western societies where husband and wife see each other like friends and partners. In Nigeria the man has the final say in marriage as he is expected to be the Head and leader.

A woman in USA or UK can provide for her husband with no qualms because the husband sees her as an equal partner and would never disrespect her bacause he was raised to see females as inferior. Not in Nigeria where religious and traditional laws have made men see women as inferior and less than men. Imagine providing for a man that still has no problems treating you as inferior to himself.
Haba

It would be very unfair to the woman to provide and still be expected to be the subordinate in the marriage, let's not kid ourselves here.
Nobody wants to be taken advantage of like that.

Rich men in Nigeria can give their wives money because they get the wife's submissivenes and obedience in return, what the hell do Nigerian women have to gain if they start providing for husbands? She will end up being provider and home maker and submitter all at once while her husband just lives off her and bosses her around.

You should not apply this reasoning here. The main fact you have money changes everything. I have never seen an husband boss a rich wife around. The man is usually humble and homely except she wants him to put his head in her butt.

bukatyne:


Just extra two minutes reading would let you know the OP said the issue cuts across races.

It is not a black woman or Nigerian woman thing.

Concepts such as 'marrying up', 'hypergamy' etc. are not Nigerian concepts.

your comments shows you are wise

Pierocash:
A woman can earn more than man in the Western world and there will still be peace in the marriage.

In Nigeria here, a woman doesn't even need to earn more than the man before their ego begins to play out. Nigeria women believe that once they can be financially independent ,they don't need a man so they start acting rebellious and arrogant.

I tell myself,even if she earns more than me,I won't ask her a dime of her money,I will play my role without looking at her purse. By so doing, I will know if she is a supportive wife,or parasitic one

Unfortunately my mother is one of those people and I feel sad each time I remember all the insults and arrogance simply because my dad’s business ain’t buoyant as before. Women (including my mum) are more selfish than men.

EmptyGarden:

But a man is allowed to give his wife money for no just reason abi? The one they call "pocket money". She stated that he needed money or loans for his projects, is that not 'reason' enough for you? Today you'd want equality, tomorrow equity and fairness... I no blame una.

I think men should think very hard before getting into marriage in Nigeria. Other places are not like this, even other African country women care for their husbands better.

lalasticlala:
As shared by Nike Adexa @naikiadex



https://twitter.com/naikiadex/status/1460605285865828357

This story is an apt definition of the man's money is our money and the woman's money is her money adage.

My dad once told me that as long as man can provide and meet 80% of the family want, not needs ooooo; he will remain a darling and a sweet heart. But once he falls below that mark to like 80% of providing the family needs and not wants, he starts becoming a useless and irresponsible man in the sight of his wife.

He was teaching me that a woman will never and no woman ever loves the man for who he is. The love for him is tied to his ability to provide comfort, care, attention and affection. Even with all these, some women go still cheat.

Now, let's flip the coin and imagine the man was making more money, everyone will expect the man to shoulder the wife's family responsibility. Even the father-in-law that cannot pay a utility bill of 2k without his daughter asking for urgent 2k online will want a car from the man.

Truly, nobody likes the man for who he is. Even our mothers sometimes behave like strangers when their sons don't live up to their expectations. You nor go dey get family gist. Dem go do family meeting and you won't know.

Everyone will just be draining the man as if he is not a human being with blood in his vain. A banker during the day and a danfo driver at night just to put food on the table, but just like Chris, everybody hates the male species.

It is well with the male specie, especially the Nigeria version.

Ynix:

Once I noticed that someone is close to me because of what he or she stands to get alone I immediately cut them off

That is how it should..

unfortunately, as Man some people will come close to you for what they will gain alone.

Only an intelligent woman who really care about you will do the mutual kind gesture reciprocation..no matter what, we still have good ladies out there who actually understand life a bit.

If u marry a woman who has more money than u, as a man face ur hustle, what every it maybe, what u can't do at d home front , she can make up. But the day u start asking her for money be it loan or dash, wahala don come o! Just face ur hustle!

Amotolongbo:
Give him money to do what?
She can’t just be giving him money for no just reason. She can spend her money on the home, not giving it to her husband.

A man requesting for money from a woman is only trying to trade his pride as the head of the home.

The only time a man should be given money by a woman is when it is needed for a personal and mental development which will bring a fortune to the man and home

This is clear proof that women are naturally selfish and heartless.

Imagine a man saying this about his wife and you would be ripping your hair out screaming.

Maybe feminism was a mistake after all.

litigator:


This story is an apt definition of the man's money is our money and the woman's money is her money adage.

My dad once told that as long as man can provide and meet 80% of the family want, not needs ooooo; he will remain a darling and sweet heart. Once he fall below that mark to 80% of the family needs not wants, he starts becoming a useless man.

He was teaching me that a woman will never and no woman ever loves the man for who he is. The love for him is tied to his ability to provide comfort, care, attention and affection. Even with all these, some women go still cheat.

Now, let's flip the coin and imagine the man was making more money, everyone will expect the man to shoulder the wife's family responsibility. Even the father-in-law that cannot pay a utility bill of 2k without his daughter asking for urgent 2k online will want a car from the man.

Truly, nobody likes the man. Even our mothers sometimes behave like strangers when their sons don't live up to their expectations.

Everyone will just be draining the man. Banker during the day and danfo driver at night just to put food on the table, but just like Chris, everybody hates the male specie.

An intelligent Dad you have there...He told you the truth...Same thing my Dad told me..

A man is a sweetest heart for long as he provides..if not it is a sorry case.

Mayflowa:


I think men should think very hard before getting into marriage in Nigeria. Other places are not like this, even other African country women care for their husbands better.

True. The mentality of "a man's money is Our money and a woman's money is Her money" should be addressed. You'd find less wickedness in the Devil than some women.

NairaMaster1:


I think you don't have experience.

not all women are created same way.. I believe you aren't married.

Seun:
The main problem was that she didn't give him money. Why would you marry a guy if you dont trust him with money?

What she called emotional and verbal abuse sounds like they were fighting but she wanted to make herself the sole victim. The husband should have handled it better. He is not entitled to her money. But I think the lady contributed more to the failure of her marriage than she realizes.

She speaks of trying to get him to aspire higher which means she was not satisfied with his professional and financial status. So why marry him if his level was not high enough for you? She could have just given him money from time to time like most men who are richer than their wives tend to do.

Lols! Bulls eye

Sometimes I wonder if at this age, we're still taking about who's a man or woman in marriages.
The normal thing is, there's a man that can take loans to set up a business for the wife, there's a man who can take auto finance to gift the wife a car, there's a man who can request for upfront pay just to buy the wife gifts, there's a man who can run to his friends and borrow some money and settle the in-laws if they call for assistance, there's a man who can always go to banks and take a credit card just to be able to afford some expenses when going for travels and that's normal because it's his duty as a man.
But when it becomes a thing of the woman to fend for some of these things it is now a thing of why is it the woman?
The marriage will no longer be together to become one, you no longer hear that we're together in this forever, the woman is now thinking if he's married to her because of her money, but you never hear that the woman is married to the man because of his money.

There will no longer be equal in the house, the woman will suddenly start asking for second thoughts, but the man doesn't when it's his turn to deliver.


A man or a woman is both of equal value to a marriage and their understanding of purpose between each order matters.

Seeking second opinion matters but what is the answer you're expecting to hear is the most important thing before seeking for a second thought because that is the only thing you're likely just waiting for someone else to confirm for you.


Let's keep the idea of if it's the man then it's our money but if it's the woman then it's my money.

I understand we have guys whom intentionally have such thoughts of swindling ladies through marriage but it shouldn't even be the main thing here.

I don't know my wife's actual salary before we got married, it was after marriage I noticed she earns more than me, omor I took it up upon myself to further my knowledge, study more online to acquire more certifications, as at then I didn't even think if saving much except for key basic stuff, I made sure majority of the needs in house comes from me before some of these thoughts start coming into her like I did get into marriage so that she'll be funding my home cos that's how it starts.


2 years after I got a better and bumper job and offer.

So let's not stigmatize any gender because one has more money and the other don't.

Pierocash:
A woman can earn more than man in the Western world and there will still be peace in the marriage.

In Nigeria here, a woman doesn't even need to earn more than the man before their ego begins to play out. Nigeria women believe that once they can be financially independent ,they don't need a man so they start acting rebellious and arrogant.

I tell myself,even if she earns more than me,I won't ask her a dime of her money,I will play my role without looking at her purse. By so doing, I will know if she is a supportive wife,or parasitic one

It's not a western world vs third world thing. It's the same everywhere. The op said as much in the post but our god-like view of the west will not let us see that humans are the same everywhere. Women have ego everywhere once they are doing well because of the general belief that our society is patriarchal. This is why its important to be with a Godly woman who knows what earning more means to her marriage and how to navigate such slippery slope.

Seun:
The main problem was that she didn't give him money. Why would you marry a guy if you dont trust him with money?

What she called emotional and verbal abuse sounds like they were fighting but she wanted to make herself the sole victim. The husband should have handled it better. He is not entitled to her money. But I think the lady contributed more to the failure of her marriage than she realizes.

She speaks of trying to get him to aspire higher which means she was not satisfied with his professional and financial status. So why marry him if his level was not high enough for you? She could have just given him money from time to time like most men who are richer than their wives tend to do.

80% of women are naturally stingy. So it won't be easy giving a man

Amotolongbo:
Give him money to do what?
She can’t just be giving him money for no just reason. She can spend her money on the home, not giving it to her husband.

A man requesting for money from a woman is only trying to trade his pride as the head of the home.

The only time a man should be given money by a woman is when it is needed for a personal and mental development which will bring a fortune to the man and home

There was a reason

Kobojunkie:
Abegi! She got bad advice from those your so-called older and more experienced folks you refer to.

Haba! Dude, her father told her not to marry the guy. Make ona dey try read before ona comment na.

My own is why are men still getting married?

Seun:
The main problem was that she didn't give him money. Why would you marry a guy if you dont trust him with money?

What she called emotional and verbal abuse sounds like they were fighting but she wanted to make herself the sole victim. The husband should have handled it better. He is not entitled to her money. But I think the lady contributed more to the failure of her marriage than she realizes.

She speaks of trying to get him to aspire higher which means she was not satisfied with his professional and financial status. So why marry him if his level was not high enough for you? She could have just given him money from time to time like most men who are richer than their wives tend to do.

That's not wise enough. As a sane person,you should look for better and legitimate means of improving your finances and not be waiting for your spouse to be dolling out Cash to you all the time irrespective of the gender

I don't see any problem in marrying a partner lower than you so far you are not ready to be stagnant and without ambition

Honestly to preserve everyone's sanity, it is aways better when the man earns more. I cant shout biko.

Crossroad1:
There is a way you as a man carries yourself and show aspirations that will make your wife give you money without asking..
What needs does he need to meet that warrants him asking for money from his wife?
If it is for business, there is nothing wrong in that.
What manner is he asking the money?
As a loan or as a dash?
There is nothing wrong in your wife making more money than you but it becomes a problem when you begin dey shook eye for her money..
Some lazy mofos will even make it an habit.

I am glad you are a sensible man! You've said it all even some gold digger and lazy men will never agree with you.
Awon cassanova

Magnoliaa:


Yup. As he rightly should.

I see nothing here, and have no comment to make.

She's simply a woman, hypergamic and traditional, wanting a man to lead and protect her and have something going for himself.

What's a man a woman is helping? It's how women are, so I don't get the point of every one complaining over something nature decided. Will you not have something first as a man before a woman will multiply it, or whatever??

Next story.

But when such a man wants yonbe a MAN...Traditional man who wants her at home to.make his meal and raise his kids etc...u hear stuff like ......You want a traditional man who pays ur bills but u believe he shouldn't have the right to tell u to stay at home...u really wanna work and earn but u just don't want the earnings to be used at home....many women are like this....some even go as far as expecting the man to pay for maids and helps so they can have time to work and not be bothered with domestics(which is a gr8 thing) ...yet they don't even wanna pay for those maids talkless of use the earnings from their work to support the home....but when a man reacts, it is stuff like ego, toxic, narcissism that they will keep spewing...without checking their own selfish behavior

Nature has always have its way of bringing out the stupidity coded in our DNA, you fell for it...
From the experience you shared, you are not fair,
he asked for a loan which you have the capacity to lend to him, why didnt you lend him?
You earning more than him is cool if you help him with it, and you see that he is making good use of it, thats all that matters, is he using the money well?
Is he productive with it?
If yes, then i see no reason why you should just quit the relationship,,
so you quit because you re richer? Than him, so you quit for the same reason you want to enjoy, you also want a man that is richer than you, so you could take from him?
Self-centredness, thats it, its not an attribute of love.
Do you want to count how many woman, man has raised up financially from nothing?
Put it in ratio and you ll realise that men has done far more.
My point is, there's no big deal in a woman earning more than a man, and to
help him with it, just be sure that he's using it well, thats all.
And thats a real woman, you re a helper, the help can be financially, emotionally, psychologically, physically or spiritually.
Which ever way you are capable of helping him, do it, and do it well, and be sure the you see the impact of your help.
You failed there.
You failed at a chance to raise someone up, and make him walk, especially the one you loved.
If you have another chance, use it well.
May God help us all

nwaimoroseyaho:
The worse thing you can do to yourself as a woman is to marry who you are more experienced and richer than and who is not educated in the name of love.
As a graduate (woman) don't ever marry a man that is not educated, his ego and inferiority complex will kill the relationship in the long run.

An educated man, must avoid a woman who isn't, her insecurities will ruin the marriage.. fixed!

jornwhite:




Infact such man needs a mobile oxygen gas around cos the air wey go dey that house no go reach air wey dey preserve agege bread nylon .... it is a terrible experience no naija should go thru, God help us

I swear...

Amotolongbo:
Give him money to do what?
She can’t just be giving him money for no just reason. She can spend her money on the home, not giving it to her husband.

A man requesting for money from a woman is only trying to trade his pride as the head of the home.

The only time a man should be given money by a woman is when it is needed for a personal and mental development which will bring a fortune to the man and home

I think the man has ego n pride. I knw Ladies very well, you have to bring down your ego b4 asking a lady something.
A lady will tell you no, just keep begging her romantically, humbly n sensibly u will see her bring de money out. No be say u go begin command her for her own money. Lemme tell u something, ask 100 men who made Dem or help them from de begining, u will see that 80% na woman.
The day I chose to be loyal n lovely to women was de day I started receiving favour.

Amotolongbo:
Give him money to do what?
She can’t just be giving him money for no just reason. She can spend her money on the home, not giving it to her husband.

A man requesting for money from a woman is only trying to trade his pride as the head of the home.

The only time a man should be given money by a woman is when it is needed for a personal and mental development which will bring a fortune to the man and home

It seems you didn't read the OP's write up well before taking to the comment box to counter seun.

LyfeJennings:
Lemme share a true life story
My present girlfriend is richer than me
On like 3 occasion, she helped with some very funny bill
Yesterday, we dey talk
She jokingly seriously told me
"You no get money guy, U are a broke, U not even near what a man should be"
I swear I wan die
E pain me ehnnnn
My ego was bruised but she no lie

Should you no get money, you are broke[i][/i] EQUATE to U no even near what a man should be"

is this how you view yourself

And you meekly took it in silence while smiling sheepishly without any form of blowback to her? say because you don't want to loose a rich girlfriend?

Aaaah! O ma se' O!!