Randgist:
My questions are these.

1)
Is it a crime or sin if a lady earns more than her husband?

2)
Why does wife supporting husband financially sounds as a Charity case. When the man has other rolls he plays at home. Just that fate is probably yet to smile at him financially?

3) The money a wife makes at home what is it for? For her or for her home? ( as far as i know anything a husband owns belongs to the wife vice versa)

4) is it composery that a man must be richer than the wife?

I dont understand.

I think people have lost purpose of Marriage.

Why does it sound like men have the control of there future and destiny in there own hand while woman are more special?


Society has finally suceeded in making sure a man who is not rich or richer than the wife is now a loser or a fool who is not worthy to live.

(Now you all forgets that even in these same society woman are more favoured (but its a topic for another day)

In Africa, it's a Sin for a woman to earn more than her husband. That's the kind of mentality they have. Once a woman earns higher than her husband they feel she will displace her husband from the breadwinner role of the family.

Even some Men have ego and insecurity issues when their wives earn more than them, the ones that don't have those issues end up relying on their wives money too much that they become too comfortable without seeing the need to step up financially.

Imagine a married man who keeps asking his money for money almost all the time without ever returning the money back and once she starts to complain, he starts to abuse her physically.

Seun:
For whatever he needs. Men who are rich give money to their wives all the time. If a man is rich and never helps his wife financially I don't think the marriage would work, but it's usually not an issue because men are expected to provide for their wives. I think she was the defacto breadwinner but as a woman society had not equipped her for the role so she failed at it. The same goes for the man. I bet he didn't know how to use seduction to extract cash.

Seun na my Alpha guy e no be simp.

2kurupt:
A man can be the sole provider in a home for 5 years and nobody will know how the money flows.

But peradventure he hits a snag like lose his job/business or the wife gets elevated financially above him then turns provider for for 5 just days, the while neighbourhood will know in an instant. Only intelligent wives have passed this test with flying colours.

With the repeated use of the phrase "step up his game" by the OP, it is evident she turned the Homefront into some kind of competition with the size of one's bank account as the deciding factor of who wins the competition. I can tell you she made that man see hell simply because she was better placed financially.

If as a woman you can freely offer your body but not your money, what does that make you? Between your body and money which is more important?

It seems you just figured this out.

You see these modern women dem?

Their body is of a lesser value than their money oo.
You can take this fact to any bank.

CHoccolaTE:


I will apply whatever reasoning makes sense in the situation. I don't know what country you live in that makes you think husbands don't expect submission from the same wives that provide for them.
When a woman provides she is still expected to be subordinate to the man and treat him like a leader and never let anyone know she is helping him. What kind of rubbish is that?

If men are the sole breadwinners they expect complete submission from their wives and they love announcing to the whole world how providing is very hard for them and how they are under pressure because their wife is not working.
But when women are providers they are expected to be understanding and sensitive and submissive to the man's needs.

Arrant nonsense.

I do not think we are on the same page. In my view, bossing around is different from submission. Do you intend to take the headship of the home because you are more fortunate to provide bread? Won't you still accord your husband the respect he deserves as a human being. Do you mean that men do not respect their wives they provide for? I respect my wife while in Nigeria and oversea. My brothers all do in Nigeria. Women have their subtle and feminine way of controlling a man whether rich or poor. I am taking about letting men take to demeaning and roles because you provide for him. I hope you noticed I was careful not to insult you in both of my position unlike you!

lalasticlala:
As shared by Nike Adexa @naikiadex



https://twitter.com/naikiadex/status/1460605285865828357

I have seen in some cases where the lady is super rich,got married to a broke guy and established him and he is doing perfectly well now,than the wife.....The wife is kind of a family friend and they got married 3yrs ago

Amotolongbo:
Give him money to do what?
She can’t just be giving him money for no just reason. She can spend her money on the home, not giving it to her husband.

A man requesting for money from a woman is only trying to trade his pride as the head of the home.

The only time a man should be given money by a woman is when it is needed for a personal and mental development which will bring a fortune to the man and home

Serioulsy. So if you put it like that, it's normal for a woman to ask a man money repeatedly because she's not the head of the house and she has no pride? Hmmmm.

irijuola:
My friend broke up with someone because of this reason. When a lady earns more, she should think with her head and not her heart. In her case, even though she earned more, she was still more hardworking, had more drive and was more ambitious. On the other hand, sometimes she senses the guy trying to unhealthily compete with her by giving snide remarks, trying to put her down and not being appreciative of the things she does even when she doesn't throw it in his face. He didn't have a healthy self esteem and suffered from insecurities.

A strong man should hold his own fort and do his own best even if it is not as financially rewarding as hers. It becomes a toxic relationship when little disagreement which can be settled easily gets turned into something huge cos he feels threatened and feels he now has something to use over her. And trying to mend things with him makes it look like she's desperate.

Most guys have fragile ego and I can't massage your ego if you can't deal with it yourself.
A doctor wife and a teacher husband can both be hardworking but the doctor will earn more. They have to reach a consensus. No woman will want her husband to suffer when she has more but it's a different case when the man feels entitled to her money. Really, people like Angela Merkel's husband should be appreciated for standing with and by his wife. Most guys can't do it.
In Nigeria, it can even get worse if the husband family are on the same page with the man. They can say ludicrous things like the woman is using the man's glory. Imagine!!!.

U no dey serious who told you the Doctor would earn more.

We are era of online space, just one teaching job online would land the husband in money.

LyfeJennings:
Lemme share a true life story
My present girlfriend is richer than me
On like 3 occasion, she helped with some very funny bill
Yesterday, we dey talk
She jokingly seriously told me
"You no get money guy, U are a broke, U not even near what a man should be"
I swear I wan die
E pain me ehnnnn
My ego was bruised but she no lie

Good thing you said girlfriend coz you'll definitely hear more than this when you wife her.

Know this, you're a man not because of how much you got in your bank account. It is only a foolish woman that accords respect according to the nature of one's account balance

kazyhm:


I can't ever understand women rationale about a whole lot of things...

You earn more but can't make your home peaceful and romantic but instead, hording your money and making him pay all bills with his lower income. By the way, she want him to double his hustle yet lending him money is a big issue ? Who still believes men and women are the same hence equalized both gender ?

He embraced his supposed lower income status and solicited you support his project, but you refused then claimed his ego is fragile........what a confused victim.

She want him to lead but first he must double cross her in earning.

In the same vein she claimed love is enough and far important than money.

The summary of this article is; I earn more, if you want to be the head, you must beat me in this earning competition.......,.I won't give you my money and if you ask me, the whole world will know.....and ontop of that I won't still part with my money.

The truth is, the husband was disappointed in her as a wife.......and as expected, disappointment often times begets resentment

The most interesting thing about the story is, the bride father knew this hence didn't support it but women cluelessness of reality make her embarked on this fruitless competition (marriage).

Nice one sir!.

I just don't get the purpose of her lamentations.

Mr A seems like a nice guy with a good heart or he really must be so naive to have stayed that long in the marriage.

Despite being the first to tell she still exposed herself as the problematic woman in that marriage. I can only imagine what Mr A went through.

Jeez!!

bukatyne:


But richer men give their wives random cash gifts: change your car, change your wardrobe, buy this diamond set etc. etc.

Why can't the OP gift her husband a new car or whatever toy that catches his fancy?

@OP:

A very complex issue.

This is where feminism, red pill and other ideologies fall flat under intense scrutiny.

Men & women don't think the same way and want same things.

Before someone comes to say that's how the men are brought up:

I am not disputing nurture however there must be something innate, natural that makes a significant number of romantic relationships where the women earns way higher an extreme sport. And this is across all races.

If the wife is not disrespectful, the husband's insecurities lets him see war everywhere while the in-laws are 100% certain that the man is emasculated.

The things the wife would get away with while poor becomes the most disrespectful thing ever and she has to bend backwards & stretch herself thin to keep peace.

This is where religion comes in: to subdue/kill that natural tendency to behave as the above.

You are right oo sister.

When it comes to a woman marrying a man not earning as much as her, the man has to be a different breed and very mature not the typical boys we have out there.


Lots of men(Nigerian men to be precise) can't cope with a woman earning more, their egos can't allow it.

Although in this case specifically, she should have loaned him, if he now mismanages it ehen. We now have an issue.

Amotolongbo:
Give him money to do what?
She can’t just be giving him money for no just reason. She can spend her money on the home, not giving it to her husband.

A man requesting for money from a woman is only trying to trade his pride as the head of the home.

The only time a man should be given money by a woman is when it is needed for a personal and mental development which will bring a fortune to the man and home

your proposition is that the husband should not give his wife money for enjoyment beyond neccesity.

Wow. Good luck to you guys. The sky is the starting point when a couple can work together and support each other.

SILVERLINES:


Guys these days are becoming useless, they are even waiting and praying to meet Richer ladies to pay their bills.
Just few years ago God sent me a beautiful damsel, she wasn't bouyant nor coming from a rich home and then I was just struggling to stand on my feet. The say lady now my wife was depending on me to start a life, I evaluated her then and she was business intuitive and needed a start up for business, then I was a beginner in computer science, programming and informatics. My friends kick against the relationship bitterly in a sense that I am coming from a broke home and not doing well in life I shouldn't date a broke lady from a poor home. They advised me to look for a reach lady who can support me instead of taking from me reminding me our struggles in our university days. I almost harken to their voices, I was given my wife then girlfriend then hash attitude but she didn't stay away from me and me then I was already having some 'well to do babes' both acquaintance and friends. Some day a man told me about marriages stuff how men suffered even marrying richer women and lack of peace in their marital home, he told be there's a big difference between girlfriend and wife. To cut the story short I started given attention to my wife 'then girl friend' we sat down talk about life and future and what we can do to better our lives, I discovered right there she had already agreed marry be without even outer a word about marriage we already started discussing it just two of us. Babe came up with business ideas we agreed on one cos it wasn't called for big money. Then I was planning on out to move my company forward. Three months after I struggled for the money she started then business just two months in business babe was already bringing gifts to my house, there was a big difference as money was started coming from her side. Seven months after babe move into my house and we started leaving as husband and wife in a self-contained apartment, then I was a bit down financially and my babe carter for everything in the house including rent. I was somehow ashamed but she covered everything. Just few months after babe broke the pregnancy story as in d thing rang in my ear like thunder. I was furious like this babe has finished me she calmed me down telling me she has a savings somewhere that I shouldn't bother much, I became more crazy cos I was with nothing on my side, unprepared. Getting married or have a child in a single self-contained wasn't what I wished for myself. Jobs wasn't coming on my side. We survived on her business, my mother was calling for financial support, jeeeez I don enter again sixth months of her pregnancy we went for a scan it was twins, two baby girls, she came home happy and I was crying inside. Her support wasn't ok for me cos as a man I always want to take my true place as a man and piller of the house, was thinking how am I gonna attend to people when she put to bed? Which house am I gonna welcome visitors? As an introvert that I am. I noticed her business was thriving she even assist me with money to send to my mother at home, I couldn't just tell my mom that the money came from me, I opened up everything to her so at least she won't bother calling for financial help again in closing time on hearing this my mom wasn't happy she suggested I should have well stand on my feet before embarking on such journey. Eighth month just one month to put to birth I got a contract job with a company and two NGOs through a female friend in the university who directed me to her brothers cos she saw my numerous WhatsApp status adverts. Omo money start coming immediately and hurry that first money go rent 2 bedroom arraigned ham well though the babe was upset I supposed investigate the money for something me 4 my mind I was like dis babe no me u want disgrace when ur people go come see me for single bed with two girls and u together and una know as Igbo people de do now dem no too value in-laws wey no get money. I arraigned myself sharp sharp within one month plus na dey I know say money move at the speed of light boom the two girls in the womb had arrived, things got balance and jobs upon jobs keep coming. I employeed experts to work with in areas I wasn't too good in. Just last month we finished everything marriage rites traditionally and court as our dear church wanted to do anyhow for the wedding for the sake that we have children we move forward to Court. I thank God for bringing her into my life

cococandy:


First of all, their income should be joint income not a case his money or her money. It should be their money regardless of who earns it. But we are not ready for this conversation because people are stuck on their ways and what gender plays is supposed to play what roles .

I don’t believe in any joint whatsoever. His money is his money and my money is mine. A joint account can be created for family expenses, in which both parties would remit a fraction of their individual income. Whoever earns more would do more. If I need help like the man in this story, he can come through. Acts of goodwill can also be done by both parties. Besides that, he should hold his money so I get peace of mind.

crackhaus:

It seems you just figured this out.

You see these modern women dem?

Their body is of a lesser value than their money oo.
You can take this fact to any bank.

Naa, I knew this long ago while still catching flings here are there.

It's the litmus test for knowing a truly matured and intelligent lady when it comes to relationships.

To the woman:

Your problem as the woman is that you love money. I also sense you aren't a believer/disciple (what you people refer to as "Christian". When you married that man, you agreed to submit your life, plus all you own to him. That includes your money. You people never had any counsel before marriage. Marriage makes you one with your spouse. So there's nothing like your money, my money.

Whether you earn more than him or not is not the matter. What of you lost that job tomorrow, will all your bragging about money not end? Divorce is not because of money, it's because you lack wisdom, knowledge and understanding of how marriage works by God's standard. Continue to claim your money o. When that job eventually goes, we will probably see what's left for you. Or, get wisdom and understanding and follow God's word and prove Him if your marriage won't work.

To the man:
Haba Oga, calm down now. That you are the head of the house doesn't make you a tyrant. Don't punch above your weight. I sense the reason your wife is denying you money (even though wrong) is because she doesn't see wisdom in how you manage such funds or she hasn't seen an investing husband. You're probably engaging in projects for show. Then, you resort to emotional abuse because of money? Wow! That's terrible. You have a serious problem with loving money. Don't compete with your wife. Complement her. Help her grow. Take interest in what she does. Encourage her. Women are flowers. They blossom when they are watered. You may not be earning as much, but encourage her. Tell her she's doing well, but not for patronage. If there's an idea you have, discuss with her, but don't make it mandatory she must being her money. God is always faithful. If that idea is from God, He will bring funding for it with or without your wife. But don't makae money just to show her you are capable. You guys are already in a toxic relationship and you need the word of God. In time, believe me she'll come around, but you may still never earn as she does.
You are the head of the home. Set boundaries according to God's word and lead your home right. But let God lead you. Don't ask your wife for Money, but there must be transparency in all you guys spend or make. There must always be agreement in how the money must be spent too. Request that.

To you both:
You need wisdom, not more money. You need knowledge and understanding too and you'll find it in God's word. Read good books too.

Apst:

I experienced it first hand tonto dike was a rare case(only God knows wat happened under) my ex wife can never give me a treat of 3k but she can dash out 20k to outsider. Its worst to the extent I will give her idea force her to do tins that gives her money she would dash any outsider involve 10-20k but I won't even see #500. Wat broke the camels back I spent all my salary for the month on house expenses and NEPA bill came up 7 days to month for her to pay 2k she was crying over it. For those who will say I was married for money before the marriage she had some debtors owing her to the tune of 5 million I took the case to the zone 5 command and the people where meant to pay about 1 million and she enveloped money for some men of god to the tune of 50k but I never got a dime. All thru the marriage the insults and assault was too much if she adds 2k to expenses for the month the whole street will know. Marrying a woman wealthier than u in these part is an early grave

Oga note that, women worst enemy is her husband. U won't know dis until u loose ur job or business. Talking from experience. She will remind u wen u shouted at her last 25 year ago.

cococandy:

If their financial needs are met in that arrangement and the responsibilities are fairly allocated, Why should there be friction?
All this telling someone to be honest with themselves Just to avoid admitting that y’all want women who contribute financially while being 100% the home keepers.

Women can see through y’all’s bullshit. That’s the reason for the friction. You want to eat your cakes and have it.
Consider telling yourself
that truth

Its not a must you're honest with yourself, buh you really have to catch up with reasonable mind or swerve, your excuses is an abstract to the issue on ground, base on my experience with ladies no gurl with quality home training will even want to see her man do certains chores ... a man's image is a reflection of respect the society accord his woman.
So you rather watch oga landlord disgrace ur hubby for rent when you can help, but because he is not washing plate or running shift with you to the market you'll hold black, smh
my hubby shame no be my shame geng ... aunty you are just a shameless woman.

King44:
If your wife is making a lot of money more than you do and your only job is to be lazy around and depend on her for everything bro swap that penis for a pussy.

Except if you are facing an unforeseen circumstance that demoted you from the breadwinner to lower part. Despite this sef a man has to push, if you see your wife as a source of free money even when necessary a and you are doing nothing to change your condition swap that Dickson for punni

When life happen to you that reasoning in your first paragraph will evaporate.

We have seen top male CEOs loss it all, businesses go under and husbands losing their fortune within the twinkle of an eye. Does that mean they were lazy? Last year's pandemic was a eye opener to many.

There is nothing like demote in a marriage, don't let these feminists emasculate you. A man is not the head of the home simply because he has a dịck or controls more money.

Seun:
The main problem was that she didn't give him money. Why would you marry a guy if you dont trust him with money?

What she called emotional and verbal abuse sounds like they were fighting but she wanted to make herself the sole victim. The husband should have handled it better. He is not entitled to her money. But I think the lady contributed more to the failure of her marriage than she realizes.

She speaks of trying to get him to aspire higher which means she was not satisfied with his professional and financial status. So why marry him if his level was not high enough for you? She could have just given him money from time to time like most men who are richer than their wives tend to do.

The funny irony is he asked for Loans, not dash, not handout and it was too much to do for a man you married based on love. If we reverse the cash we will call the man all manners of names, He is heartless, He is a goat, because he won’t set up a business, DASH his wife money or Help her dreams but once it’s a wife’s money he is a cheap man. Then we say we are equals and partners in marriage plus show me the equality in these stances.like famous women quote what a man can do a woman can do BETTER, but can a woman truly Small money Man has too much EGO.

kazyhm:


I can't ever understand women rationale about a whole lot of things...

You earn more but can't make your home peaceful and romantic but instead, hording your money and making him pay all bills with his lower income. By the way, she want him to double his hustle yet lending him money is a big issue ? Who still believes men and women are the same hence equalized both gender ?

He embraced his supposed lower income status and solicited you support his project, but you refused then claimed his ego is fragile........what a confused victim.

She want him to lead but first he must double cross her in earning.

In the same vein she claimed love is enough and far important than money.

The summary of this article is; I earn more, if you want to be the head, you must beat me in this earning competition.......,.I won't give you my money and if you ask me, the whole world will know.....and ontop of that I won't still part with my money.

The truth is, the husband was disappointed in her as a wife.......and as expected, disappointment often times begets resentment

The most interesting thing about the story is, the bride father knew this hence didn't support it but women cluelessness of reality make her embarked on this fruitless competition (marriage).

Thorough Analysis

Munzy14:

The audacity of the hypocrisy in this comment though...give him money for what?...smh.

But a man who earn way higher than the lady, provides for without questioning...

No wonder some men are avoiding marriage like a plaque....

The hypocrisy is on the high side abeg..Some ladies are dangerous...With rebellious mindset.

Man will provide for the family for years, but a day a woman does, serious kasala go burst..

You'll be surprised in real life she's either a full-time house wife or aspiring to be one, but come online to talk crap

BeeBeeOoh:


Loud am abeg

Nonsense advice. Cut your coat according to your size. Basically your telling a man to go into a marriage where he will have to compete with his wife. Please don't kill yourself ... If she earns more than you as a man there's a 99% probability she will not respect or see you as the head or leader. Keep working hard and find someone that's a wife for you. That will get on your page and support you. Not the one you will have to go back to school and etc to catch up or compete with. We're not all meant to be millionaires, some of us will be regular average ppl.... Work enough to care for your family cos If you die .... you take nothing with u. DO NOT MARRY WOMEN THAT THINK MARRIAGE IS A PATNERSHIP/ WHO THINK THEY KNOW WHAT MEASURE OF SUCCESS YOU MUST ATTAIN. They are not on your page. You're on their page.

Apst:

I experienced it first hand tonto dike was a rare case(only God knows wat happened under) my ex wife can never give me a treat of 3k but she can dash out 20k to outsider. Its worst to the extent I will give her idea force her to do tins that gives her money she would dash any outsider involve 10-20k but I won't even see #500. Wat broke the camels back I spent all my salary for the month on house expenses and NEPA bill came up 7 days to month for her to pay 2k she was crying over it. For those who will say I was married for money before the marriage she had some debtors owing her to the tune of 5 million I took the case to the zone 5 command and the people where meant to pay about 1 million and she enveloped money for some men of god to the tune of 50k but I never got a dime. All thru the marriage the insults and assault was too much if she adds 2k to expenses for the month the whole street will know. Marrying a woman wealthier than u in these part is an early grave

I love ur story. Buh I came to realize that in dis life if u no chop person, person go chop u. If to say u de chop ur wife from back, I swear u for no regret am. Na waiting my colleague de do en stingy wife. He is very loyal to de rich wife n de woman commands him anyhow. Now, since she doesn't have time , he does everything by hiking de price. For instance if de wants to buy land or car, he will tell de seller his own money before he will introduce him to de wife. If she catches u tell her to her face that u need money for many things n u are ashame to ask her, simple.

I think u did all dis thing bcus of love n na my wife en be, forgetting that u re not blood related. She can leave u wen ever she's tired

poik:


Not like i am surprised, but this woman is clearly a bad woman. I saw the tweet wherein someone asked her why she didnt help her husband step up and she said she cant fund an adult’s project. A man you married, and you claim to be one?

Lol. I lover her stupid reason. Na pikin project she wan de fund

2kurupt:


Naa, I knew this long ago while still catching flings here are there.

It's the litmus test for knowing a truly matured and intelligent lady when it comes to relationships.

Na so..

It's always best to allow these women think they know what they're doing and that they're in control.

As long as you know exactly who they are deep down and what they're capable of, a man will always be safe.

LyfeJennings:
Lemme share a true life story
My present girlfriend is richer than me
On like 3 occasion, she helped with some very funny bill
Yesterday, we dey talk
She jokingly seriously told me
"You no get money guy, U are a broke, U not even near what a man should be"
I swear I wan die
E pain me ehnnnn
My ego was bruised but she no lie

You are currently under programming except you are a lazy man.

BeeBeeOoh:


Loud am abeg

OGBENI LOUD WETIN?

MARRIAGE IS NOT BY FORCE

NO BE MUST TO MARRY

MARRIAGE IS OVERRATED


MOST MARRIED MEN WHO ARE STRUGGLING ARE DOING SO COS OF THE FAMILY DEY RUNNING....ELSE THEY ARE BETTER OF AS SINGLES.

As for me, I don't have much to say, to all you boys and men shouting that a woman should support her man in all areas, especially in the financial aspect, I have some questions for you..

Are you ready to do some domestic duties at home?
Are you ready to baby sit the children when needed?
Are you ready to clean baby's poo?
Are you even ready to go to the market?

If you're not ready to do these things that tamper with your rubbish ego, then I don't think ya'll are ready for this conversation.

Grace001:
Indeed this is a man's world. Once the traditional rules changed by a woman it becomes a topic to talk about.

No doubt about it, it's a man's world. His money is our money, her money is her money. If a man is not giving a woman money both in relationship and in marriage, he will be tagged uncaring, unloving but if a man ask a woman for money it becomes something else, of a truth: it's a man's world.

Pierocash:
A woman can earn more than a man in the Western world and there will still be peace in the marriage.

In Nigeria here, a woman doesn't even need to earn more than the man before their ego begins to play out. Nigeria women believe that once they can be financially independent ,they don't need a man so they start acting rebellious and arrogant.

I tell myself,even if she earns more than me,I won't ask her a dime of her money,I will play my role without looking at her purse. By so doing, I will know if she is a supportive wife,or parasitic one

And if she is a parasitic one wetin go happen??

Laeroy:
As for me, I don't have much to say, to all you boys and men shouting that a woman should support her man in all areas, especially in the financial aspect, I have some questions for you..

Are you ready to do some domestic duties at home?
Are you ready to baby sit the children when needed?
Are you ready to clean baby's poo?
Are you even ready to go to the market?

If you're not ready to do these things that tamper with your rubbish ego, then I don't think ya'll are ready for this conversation.

GOAN MARRY UR SEF..U GERRIT?...IF U DONT GERRIT...FORGET ABORRIT