Dirkcoyt:
Since marriage is a legal contract why don’t you do it like a contractor and a client percentage ratio.

You see contractors given 25% mobilization fee then when they see how the work goes they add more 25% then certainly the contractor wants to get rest of the money then he push the work further then he gets another 25% etc till it’s balanced then both client and contractor are satisfied without problems. Mostly it’s even the contractor begging the client to pay up that he needs his money that he has invested some funds in the project to keep it afloat .

Now let’s substitute the woman as the contractor and the man as client. As a man you’re trying to get the best value of quality and decent cost valuation from numerous women expecting you to choos them.

Rather than go the conventional way of fall in love and propose straight without letting her having something to lose and she’s having entitled mentality cause she’s seeing herself as she’s doing you a favor regardless of your responsible for her bills and house bills.

So you switch it up by reversing roles. If she’s good character get her pregnant first, do not do any introduction or marriage ! Let her be at your mercy as this time her stock is plummeting worrying about single motherhood. Bring her home or rent an apartment which ever works for you live like couples to make her save face , keep telling her you will meet her parents in due time . (By this time she will be doing all to show to you she’s a worthy wife material as she don’t want to go out again) you enjoy the cooking sex etc she’s commenting into the relationship in hope for a finally meeting with her parent for official marriage . Put in another child on the basis of you will meet her parent after the second child (by this time she’s too scared to leave and worrying who will marry a single mother of 2,she will be hoping you do the needful by putting effort ) after 10 years , meet with her family for introduction! Just introduction not marriage . Then pause again don’t move to next stage . Now this is like an official marriage Dangling in front of her then she wants the marriage after 5years of introduction introduce a prenup to her to sign . This makes her feel you’re finally ready . Then 5 years later do the official marriage that’s a journey of 20years. She has learnt and committed a lot to leave by this time and even if she walks out you got the best value of her early days already so even if she want divorce then the children are already 20 and blackmailing their mom emotional that’s it’s not the best time to divorce she should think about them. If she opt out still prenup cover you! Any which way you’ve had fun. Don’t forget to do the DNA!

The point of all this women treat and disrespect marriage when they do far too little to build it or contribute less to it! They evade easily! Make them also commit in a way and swear themselves out to build it that way it last! Don’t just give them marriage on a platter! I’ve learnt with my recent ordeal !

Pure wisdom, change is constant, and truly whoever says that having a child out of wedlock is bad is just purely dumb, using the past to actually rule the future

bigjackass:
This idea of what favor who... mostly irresponsible people think this way. Marriage is good as long you marry the right person. Even the whites we want to copy, most of them don't stay single. Instead they jump from one marriage to the other and divorce up and down because they enjoy being married but they haven't found the right person.

d white yhu copy

I got married early in life and is now divorced with two kids,after some twelve years.I have been living with my kids in the last fifteen years.The truth is that my life has been alot fun without the so called wife.The last thing on my mind now is remarrying.My own is to be having girlfriends and when we are done,each one of us goes their way and l enter another romantic relationship again. For a man, marriage is a hell of a place....

bigjackass:
This idea of what favor who... mostly irresponsible people think this way. Marriage is good as long you marry the right person. Even the whites we want to copy, most of them don't stay single. Instead they jump from one marriage to the other and divorce up and down because they enjoy being married but they haven't found the right person.

No vex o, be sincere to your destiny when answering this question, are you married?

Aforxzy:
This lifestyle is not the best.

Marriage is indeed not for everyone but a child deserves the love, care , nuture and training from both parents. No matter how we like to twist it, children from broken homes or from single parents are the worst hit by this trend. Their silent wishes and prayers is to have both parents reconcile and live together as a family.

I can't imagine being separated from my kids. It's too much a pain for me to bear, how much more another person taking up my role in their lives.

You can't imagine you being separated from your kids.

What if you die nko?

Story

aktolly54:
when a single father grow old, who will take care of him? Baby mama

His kids nah, even when the so called wife is around you mostly find out the kids are the ones doing the caring.Blood is thicker than water

[quote author=Saintmary post=107708558]

See, don't mind all these small boys o.

I call them small boys because of their maturity not their age. Lots of them don't mature until around 50 years of age and it's not an insult.
It's just what it is!

They want to gallivant around picking up women without thought of the consequences of their actions and the impact of their activities on the innocent children.

When they finally get sense after their middle age and they find out that they only have immature men like them in their immediate circle, they start longing for a family of their own.

They will eventually marry o, I repeat, ALL of them will eventually marry. It's wired into their DNA and they are resisting now but mark my words:

THEY WILL MARRY.

Now, the kind of person they will end up with is not in this context.
As a woman, if you like, do baby mama, this life goes on, and no one will defend you. But I'll tell you, don't agree to do it.

Even George Clooney that was a confirmed bachelor married at last, I don't rate these small boys and their noise. [/quote

True true, you really be small girl

RodgersAkpafu:

In my opinion being a dad and being a husband are two different roles
As long as he is taking care of all the needs of the kid (beyond physical and monetary needs of course) , he is not a dead beat dad
Think about it

sure ,no one said that he is if he is taking care of the needs of his kids in all aspects but for a person with a cheap mindset looking for cheap relationship do you think such a man will even provide for his child (Ren) not to talk of giving emotional support to his child (Ren) when they need it?


For a man that wants his bachelor freedom which is the reason for this thread in the first place even if he had all his kids with one baby mama, having bonding time with his kids will likely be too draining for him and get in the way of his singlehood ,think about that too.

[quote author=FineDragon post=107709160][/quote]

I knew it will enter your body.

You people don't like the truth.

Feelings79:
His kids nah, even when the so called wife is around you mostly find out the kids are the ones doing the caring.Blood is thicker than water

come back to earth, kids? The ones he left with their mom and lived his single bachelor life apart from ? .

Saintmary:


See, don't mind all these small boys o.

I call them small boys because of their maturity not their age. Lots of them don't mature until around 50 years of age and it's not an insult.
It's just what it is!

They want to gallivant around picking up women without thought of the consequences of their actions and the impact of their activities on the innocent children.

When they finally get sense after their middle age and they find out that they only have immature men like them in their immediate circle, they start longing for a family of their own.

They will eventually marry o, I repeat, ALL of them will eventually marry. It's wired into their DNA and they are resisting now but mark my words:

THEY WILL MARRY.

Now, the kind of person they will end up with is not in this context.
As a woman, if you like, do baby mama, this life goes on, and no one will defend you. But I'll tell you, don't agree to do it.

Even George Clooney that was a confirmed bachelor married at last, I don't rate these small boys and their noise.

thats not true. My brother is going 50 now but don’t want to get married But he is a happier man with little to worry about. He has a son and daughter and a maid takes care of them. He has been changing the maids. So what makes you think he won’t get a maid that will take care of him at old age.

Everyone dies..
I will die at the right time but my prayer is to see them grow and become great.

Manshot1:


You can't imagine you being separated from your kids.

What if you die nko?

Story

Lol, he thinks he has sense..

Wait till the kids begin to grow up. .

Once the baby mama's begin to plant resentment in his kids heart, he will know why people get married and have kids..

Don27tiky:
thats not true. My brother is going 50 now but don’t want to get married But he is a happier man with little to worry about. He has a son and daughter and a maid takes care of them. He has been changing the maids. So what makes you think he won’t get a maid that will take care of him at old age.

He's never been married, never spent up to 3 years with a woman in his life, be deceiving yourself.

How do you know what goes on between him and the maids he's been changing, and how can you verify that he'll not touch the maid that will care for him in his old age.

No be Nigeria we dey?

Oga bring another example.

chloride6:
Lol, he thinks he has sense..

Wait till the kids begin to grow up. .

Once the baby mama's begin to plant resentment in his kids heart, he will know why people get married and have kids..

Most times kids raised by single moms are lethal weapons because of what you just said.
They are good at depositing Anguish in kids because of proximity to them.
Meanwhile, kids raised by single Dads are known to be admirable & cheerful.

He should take his kids to his mom, female relatives for solid unbiased foundation

MALIGNANTGuest:

Most times kids raised by single moms are lethal weapons because of what you just said.
Meanwhile, kids raised by single Dads are known to be admirable & cheerful.

He should take his kids to his mom, female relatives for solid unbiased foundation

His sister's don't have their own kids to train?

His mom probably did her own quota by training him, no one has time train someone else.

Aforxzy:
I will die at the right time but my prayers is to see them grow and become great.

Is dying not the exception and not the rule?

You people just rate yourselves too highly on this NL.

Girls mentality on Nairaland bla bla bla , the likes of Nwaamaikpe, Slawomiir, Manabbgrills who go around the entire cyberspace constituting nuisance and never being sensible in their comments are women, right?

Many Nairaland males especially Slawomiir come here everyday to post about olosho, weed and all sorts of stupid vices including yahoo yahoo but you dare open your gutter mouth to bash women on this forum.

Just get lost with your senselessness and misorgyny.

Favfables1:


This may sound sexist, buh I'm not surprised this is written by a woman ((no offense))...

With the mentality of lots of the girls on nairaland and those I've met, I can conclude that, it's FAR MORE cheaper to get someone to get pregnant and get a nanny to take care of the child for you and pay the person off, than to get married to girls with such liability mentality...

And as for the guy you sited up there, he's doing all those ones because he wants to do them, how many baby daddies buy cars for their...his kind is a drop in an ocean

chloride6:


His sister's don't have their own kids to train?

His mom probably did her own quota by training him, no one has time train someone else.

All his sisters need na MONEY
na man wey get cash dey send people message

Chuky7:

A neighbor of mine not married stayed single has children out of wedlock I once asked him why he said his family believe that as far as you can take care of them no problem. he believes in going the unconventional way as marriage no too dey favor man. you pay bride price all bills are on you. you take care of your new family. but as a non married man his only concern are the kids and the baby mama.

What do you think of this lifestyle. I dey reason am.

It's not a death sentence for a child born out of wedlock nothing really changes just traditions you are conditioned to for no reason.

Im doing it, im happy, adam and eve do wedding?

MALIGNANTGuest:

Al his sisters need na MONEY
na man wey get cash dey send people message

So me I go marry my wife, someone will now bring their own children for my wife to train while the fu.c.k up and down?

Thunder fire the boy..

chloride6:
Lol, he thinks he has sense..

Wait till the kids begin to grow up. .

Once the baby mama's begin to plant resentment in his kids heart, he will know why people get married and have kids..

Married women plant resentment in the kids against their dads all the time
So that one is not even a point
You have to do better in selling the prospects of Marriage

FlipModeSquade:
Traditional marriage institutions mostly favor women..

While the man is worked to death..

At the end the children only remembers their Mum as a Superwoman..

The man that put his body and health on the line..

To put food on their table..

Becomes an afterthought..

While the woman junkets from Miami to London to Paris..

In the name of Ọmụgwọ..

The old broken man sits at home counting his days..

With an occasional bottle of Gin and yards of clothes..

From his grateful children and in laws..

Tell me..

Why shouldn't a sensible being.

Have a rethink about an institution that takes so much from him..

And gives back so little?

Change is CONSTANT..

Marriage favours men very much.He gets a free cook,sex partner,housemaid and all.
The woman loses blood or even undergo surgery to birth his children.The children bear their father’s name not the mothers.She breastfeeds them despite her pain from the CS.
Babies bite her nipples not matter how sore or painful she must endure.Sleepless nights nko.
Nature shared each gender’s responsibility so no one should complain of favouritism.

chloride6:


So me I go marry my wife, someone will now bring their own children for my wife to train while the fu.c.k up and down?
Thunder fire the boy..

When you start seeing the amount he brings and how the money improves the entire quality of life of your family, you will encourage her brother to bring more...

Hmmmmm

MALIGNANTGuest:


When you start seeing the amount he brings and how the money improves the entire quality of life of your family, you will encourage her brother to bring more...

Which money are you talking about? Which money is that?

How do you I don't have enough myself?

RodgersAkpafu:

Married women plant resentment in the kids against their dads all the time
So that one is not even a point
You have to do better in selling the prospects of Marriage

Almost All women do it.
The most annoying part is even the ones you did favour by marrying them, like someone's Babymama...
The moment she arrives your house with kid from her previous relationship, and starts having kids 4u, she starts planting anguish in their minds too.
Most times these kids grow only to realise the truth. By then, their DAD would have been 6 Ft.

RodgersAkpafu:

Married women plant resentment in the kids against their dads all the time
So that one is not even a point
You have to do better in selling the prospects of Marriage

If they plant resentment in your kids, you have a chance of stating your case and making them see your point. Most times, if you have 3 kids, 1 of them will be be your guy and understand your position, that mummy is just misbehaving. A lot of time you can even win them back 100%, you just need to be smart about it.

But that baby mama, Omo you go lose 100% just like guys wey dey travel abroad leave wife and pickin here.

Chuky7:

A neighbor of mine not married stayed single has children out of wedlock I once asked him why he said his family believe that as far as you can take care of them no problem. he believes in going the unconventional way as marriage no too dey favor man. you pay bride price all bills are on you. you take care of your new family. but as a non married man his only concern are the kids and the baby mama.

What do you think of this lifestyle. I dey reason am.

It's not a death sentence for a child born out of wedlock nothing really changes just traditions you are conditioned to for no reason.

bad idea, distance marriage is kind of better.... Don't add salt to the injuries in the society. Let mk this place a better place for i and you n for all of us

Most KIDS raised by single moms are bitter.
It takes only a serpent to raise another one.

Check out kids raised by Single Dads in your neighborhood... See how cheerful they are.
They know the tormentor would have left.

Midas01:
1. You people just rate yourselves too highly on this NL.

2. Girls mentality on Nairaland bla bla bla , the likes of Nwaamaikpe, Slawomiir, Manabbgrills who go around the entire cyberspace constituting nuisance and never being sensible in their comments are women, right?

3. Many Nairaland males especially Slawomiir come here everyday to post about olosho, weed and all sorts of stupid vices including yahoo yahoo...

4. but you dare open your gutter mouth to bash women on this forum.

5. Just get lost with your senselessness and misorgyny.

1. Shouldn't a king act like one ??

2. I don't troll on nairaland folks, so I can't confidently say whether or not their comments makes sense....buh since you've been trolling on them, why don't you enlighten me??

3. Awk... Everyone is entitled to his/her own opinion...if I don't agree with it, I state mine and debunk theirs, if I do, I say so...no harm done....

4. ((Shakes head at her childishness))... Please kindly point out exactly where in my post I bashed women...
And besides, why the insults?? Can't you state your opinions without insulting people?? ((Shakes head once more)).... Indeed, the young shall grow ....

5. Wehdon madam commissioner for sense ... You sure made allot of sense in your write up

BarrElChapo:
this is the new norm due to copycatting the west. We've lost the essence of marriage all togethe.

What bloody "essence of marriage" of yours have you lost?

The one your people copied from the West is the one you are whining about losing?

Your ancestors were practicing monogamous, till-death-do-us-part marriage before the white man came?

Don't go and educate yourself and calculate the many decades ago that your people had lost their specific essence of marriage and copied the West. The copy you are now calling your "essence of marriage".

Next, you will say your "Jesus"!

Ti e gan ni! (He is really your own)