Married People Revealed The Darkest Secrets They've Been Keeping From Their Spouses For Years.

A while back, redditor u/dusty_ninja asked the internet, "What is the darkest thing you have kept from your partner?" Several married people shared shocking secrets they've been keeping from their spouses — and some of them are heartbreaking.

Here are some of the most surprising ones:

Note: Some responses are taken from Reddit thread and from BuzzFeed Community submissions from this post.

1."I regretted getting married. I never wanted it, and I feel like she pressured me into it."

2."I'm afraid to tell my husband that before we met and got married, I was hooking up with a married man."

3."That having children has made me hate him."

4."I have two children she knows nothing about."
"Got two girls pregnant in high school, and they both want nothing to do with me. That was over 20 years ago, and I've known my current wife for about seven years. One kid died in a car crash, and the other, I have no idea about."

5."I never told my wife that her mother tried to have sex with me."

6."I love my husband and am so happy in our marriage, and I see it lasting for the rest of our lives. But my whole life, I’ve been able to cut ties with people without a second thought; I don’t want to do that with my husband, but the fact that I wouldn't really be bothered if we did end up splitting is troublesome."

7."I've slept with his boss — and I know he slept with one of his coworkers."


8."That I miss being single."

"Less responsibilities, less effort that you have to put into your home life, and you get the bed all to yourself."

9."If it weren’t for our kids, I would have killed myself. The idea of leaving them fatherless or with some 'new dad' is the sole reason I’m still around."

10."We're divorced now, but a few years ago, I slept with my wife's cousin one night when she was in town and my wife was at work."

11."Just how much I depend on her. For our first eight or so months of marriage, my wife and I were never apart due to moving around and being in lockdown. Even now, we're hardly apart since we both work from home. She doesn't know just how sad I get when she goes away."

"I miss her so much, and all I really want to do is curl up on the bed and wait for her to come back. I lose my smile, I lose interest in all my hobbies — everything. Once she gets back, though, I'm alright again."

12."I hate that she compares me to her ex-husband, and I have to prove her wrong over and over again."

13."That I think he should have found someone who isn't as broken and messed up as me."

14."That deep down, I really, truly hate her and what she did to our relationship. I'm only staying to get finances in order so the kids don't suffer."

15."I really dislike his dad. He is misogynistic, close-minded, and verbally abusive. I wouldn’t be surprised if it even became physical by how much he hits the wall."

"I do not want him around our children (when we have them) at all."

16."My debt."

17."Our premature baby died due to a weeklong cascade of events starting with her pre-term birth at 28 weeks. I’ve never told my husband, and never will tell him, that he actually caused my water to break. It was totally accidental, and he has no idea THAT'S why my water broke."

18."How much I hate his family for how they treat him. He doesn’t see the put downs and negativity and is very close to them."

19."I have thoughts of suicide, but I can’t do that to my husband and kids."

"I was born with only one hand. I have rheumatoid arthritis in the one hand I have, and I know it’s spreading. I have osteoarthritis in my lower back and scoliosis to the point where I am most likely going to need spine surgery. I’m only 31 years old. I can’t do this for another 50+ years. I am in such bad pain now and it’s only going to get worse. I don’t want my husband to turn into a caregiver. I can’t envision not being able to take care of myself."

20."I want to tell her how I feel, but I need to grow a spine. We are really just roommates with kids."

"I have to get over what her reaction will be."

And finally:

21."That I haven't felt the spark in a few years."


Some responses have been edited for length and/or clarity.

https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/abor47/those_who_are_married_what_is_the_darkest_secret/

Most married couples are facing serious issues.. It's not easy to be married for many years without separation... Some can't even last a month.. It takes the grace of God, good communication and endurance..

The couple's in number 7 fit each other
But sincerely marriage is not easy

habsydiamond:
Most married couples are facing serious issues.. It's not easy to be married for many years with separation... Some can't even last a month.. It takes the grace of God, good communication and endurance..

Your are right. And Number 13 is quite common( a lot of broken people in relationships/marriages).

Looking for unbroken people to fix them.

Hayee:
The couple's in number 7 fit each other
But sincerely marriage is not easy

do me I do you.

Not easy at all oh...

Mutonke:


do me I do you.

Not easy at all oh...

Marriage is easy abeg,stop the competition and let the care givers give care while the providers provide,its that simple.This is in response to Hayee

Iyaebe:
Marriage is easy abeg,stop the competition and let the care givers give care while the providers provide,its that simple.This is in response to Hayee

u think it's a course u take in school abi... Attitude/behavior is not taught anywhere... Do u know it's one of the major key to a successful marriage that's if u possess the good aspects of it.

habsydiamond:
u think it's a course u take in school abi... Attitude/behavior is not taught anywhere... Do u know it's one of the major key to a successful marriage that's if u possess the good aspects of it.

Good attitude and behavior can't keep a man that doesn't want to be kept. Statistics proves that 90% of women with good attitude and behavior ends up in a bad marriage.

Iyaebe:
Marriage is easy abeg,stop the competition and let the care givers give care while the providers provide,its that simple.This is in response to Hayee

Madam, but you know these days, many providers and care givers default on their respective roles due to economic hardship(Naija level) and new societal influence on gender role. So, where is the "easy"?

Not to rule out the fact that, we have unnecessary difficult and mean individuals, whos mission is to make you miserable.

Iyaebe:
Good attitude and behavior can't keep a man that doesn't want to be kept. Statistics proves that 90% of women with good attitude and behavior ends up in a bad marriage.

are u now saying that those with the bad attitude and behavior end up in good and healthy marriage Cos am not understanding u at all oo

Iyaebe:
Good attitude and behavior can't keep a man that doesn't want to be kept. Statistics proves that 90% of women with good attitude and behavior ends up in a bad marriage.

Ours will end in Praise

Iyaebe:
Marriage is easy abeg,stop the competition and let the care givers give care while the providers provide,its that simple.This is in response to Hayee

It would have been good or perfect if it's has straight forward as you put it. Marriage needs two to make it work which why it is not easy, because no matter the effort you put. If your partner doesn't, it will still fail.

One thing I am very certain of and I always tell any lady I am involved with is that my happiness comes first. So if I am happy and able to manage my worries while being single. It should even be better when I am Married else what the Bleep am I doing in it.

Iyaebe:
Good attitude and behavior can't keep a man that doesn't want to be kept. Statistics proves that 90% of women with good attitude and behavior ends up in a bad marriage.

See how overconfident she was in typing this. Show me the statistics! You can't fool everybody.

Nahunger:


Ours will end in Praise

You should be same age with my last born,I'll be turning 65 by December 14th.

habsydiamond:
are u now saying that those with the bad attitude and behavior end up in good and healthy marriage Cos am not understanding u at all oo

My point is good attitude and behavior does not guarantee a good marriage

bdchange:
One thing I am very certain of and I always tell any lady I am involved with is that my happiness comes first. So if I am happy and able to manage my worries while being single. It should even be better when I am Married else what the Bleep am I doing in it.

You are right but also don't forget to desist from acts that'll cause you unhappiness, acts that'll cause your wife to misbehave

Iyaebe:
My point is good attitude and behavior does not guarantee a good marriage

So what else is it that guarantee a good married ma'am?

Sonnobax15:
So what else is it that guarantee a good married ma'am?

A good marriage is highly dependent on the man with some good atrributes like uprightness, faithfulness, firm grip,totally in charge and very good core family values.Men with this attributes find it easy to control their homes and tame their wives to their satisfactions.You can't be faulty as a man and expect to have a good home,I'm not ruling out flaws as no one is perfect but marriage demands a lot from both parties hence the reason it is advisable to work on our major flaws before thinking marriage.

Iyaebe:
You should be same age with my last born,I'll be turning 65 by December 14th.

Hehe he

Grabs chair

I think the most secret married people keep from eachother and the world revolves round INFIDELITY.
Infidelity is the major reason why marriages don't work and eventually crashes.

No man in his right sense can tolerate their wife cheating or imagine another man having sex with their wife.

No man usually also forgive that act.

The so much secrets and fvckery that makes marriage scary

Jonathan:
I think the most secret married people keep from eachother and the world revolves round INFIDELITY.
Infidelity is the major reason why marriages don't work and eventually crashes.

No man in his right sense can tolerate their wife cheating or imagine another man having sex with their wife.

No man usually also forgive that act.

This is very true, and it's because sex is different for both gender.
The highest form of disrespect and degrading a wife or girlfriend can dish to their man is to cheat. If you're ever caught cheating, never believe that the guy will ever forgive you, EVEN IF IT'S OBVIOUS THAT HE IS CHEATING TOO. It's a crime that should never be forgiven because, CHEATING IS ALWAYS A CHOICE AND NEVER A MISTAKE.


90% of naija girls can only offer sex during relationship and even marriage. They don't contribute anything else that's major. Men will usually don't have a problem with this as long as you stay loyal and committed to them only.
The moment you cheat and get caught, you will be worth less than nothing. Even if he tells you he has forgiven you, things can never be the same again and will definitely take a revenge on you when the time is right for him to do so.
The mistake most women also make is keeping up communication with their ex thinking it doesn't matter. For as long as your man knows about what has happened between you and that ex in the past, he will never feel secured that both of you still communicates.

Sex is the highest form of relationship between a man and a woman.
Sex is also like the highest thing women give in a relationship.

When a woman start giving the same sex to multiple people and she's caught, she'll never have her self worth and values again in the sight of her husband or boyfriend.

Another thing is when your man learns about your past whoring life... He'll take revenge on you for what you did even when he's not in your life....

BODYCOUNT SAYS A LOT ABOUT A WOMAN'S PERSONALITY.


Women also likes taking revenge on men for cheating by cheating too. When women do this, it's better they keep it a secret and never let themselves to be caught.
Taking revenge on a man by cheating and still keeping the man is extremely dangerous. It's like fighting a battle you can never win especially if the man is in good form too. In your decline, he'll take his revenge and na woman go suffer pass.

THIS IS THE MAJOR THING CAUSING PROBLEM IN MANY MARRIAGES AND RELATIONSHIP TODAY.

NO 9 is touching if not for his kids he would have committed suicide.


That's what men are passing through.

But when the kids finally grow up they will prefer to help their mother than their father.

Men are really suffering...

If dey hate their husband and wife they should try divorcing

Marriage palava again. Marriage lost its glory 90s down to early 2000s
What we hv this day is just societal obligation, with things I have seen

It's obvious say na Oyibo type all the answers above.. How did i know? Well because i no see things like:

He's not the father of my child

I used to be a runs girl

I slept with my pastor etc