My gf got pregnant, I'm not an advocate of abortion so I told her to keep it so I and my live-in gf had a child (girl) outside wedlock who is 2 years old now and I took care of her and the child for 1 year and 8 months,paid the hospital bills and everything, which a single dough of the girls family didn't come to the wellbeing of the child, it was All me which the mother of the girl is aware of.

Though I dont want to marry the girl now due to the harsh economy of Nigeria but I have plans to marry her later on plus I can't just jump into marriage when I'm not yet able to cater for a family yet so I told her to keep the child with her mother till I can be able to stand on my feet and foster for us all,me and my gf still lived together without the baby and I helped her pay some fees for her school cuz I understood that for my baby to be educated the mother needs to be .

Fast forward to now, the mother of my gf doesn't want me to see my child because I don't want to marry my gf now, my gf and her mother had to even report me to human rights for me never to contact my gf any longer cuz I am threatening her which I never did... I tried contacting my gf to know what is happening, she's not picking her calls neither is the mother too and when I texted my gf she rained insults on me lol (life's so unfair)

NB: I learnt from a reliable source that the mother of my gf is the one Influencing her this way,my gf is also in her 3rd year at school
I'm so confused, please advice me on next step to take

A quality condom could have prevented this. Well, I wish you well.

Life's so unfair?

To you or to your girlfriend and her mother?

You didn't want to marry her and yet you insisted on the baby?

And You wonder why her mother is against you?

You want to eat your cake and have it?

Ogbeni..

Carry your load..

FlipModeSquade:
Life's so unfair?

To you or to your girlfriend and her mother?

You didn't want to marry her and yet you insisted on the baby?

And You wonder why her mother is against you?

You want to eat your cake and have it?

Ogbeni..

Carry your load..

How can't you take your time and read? I'm surprised people like you passed out of school successfully that's if you went to school.
Where did I write I'm insisting on the baby?

You are just daft
Enjoy the mention you won't get it again

It is too bad bro.
The issue on ground is too complicated, you have said your part man, how can we hear the other part of the story?
Well, you have every right to take ur child and take full responsibility as a father. You don't owe them much, but marry your girlfriend should be your priority. If you realy love her, don't distance yourself from her.

Ussycool:
It is too bad bro.
The issue on ground is too complicated, you have said your part man, how can we hear the other part of the story?
Well, you have every right to take ur child and take full responsibility as a father. You don't owe them much, but marry your girlfriend should be your priority. If you realy love her, don't distance yourself from her.

Thank you I appreciate, I have plans to marry her but not when I'm finding it hard to get on my feet
I have tried engaging my gf on what is on ground but she isn't even showing any sign of wanting to have a talk, people have advised me to blank her totally with the child but cuz I love her I don't want to

Witlee1:


How can't you take your time and read? I'm surprised people like you passed out of school successfully that's if you went to school.
Where did I write I'm insisting on the baby?

You are just daft
Enjoy the mention you won't get it again

Lol..

Mr Life's Unfair..

The Pity Party..

You Are Waiting For ..

Will Shortly Be Arriving..

When they say abstain from premarital sex, we no go hear, now see where it has landed you...((buh I'm guessing you already know that))...

Go back to the same place they reported you to and also report them... File numerous petition against them, sue them to court where possible...

Even if her parents won't approve your marriage to their daughter, fight tooth and nail to make sure you're in that child's life, you're her father and you have the right to be in that child's life as long as you're ready to be responsible...

And please don't be lackadaisical about this o, if not they'll make your daughter believe that you're dead, or you abandoned her or you're a good for nothing bla bla bla and that will be bad for the psyche of your daughter...

So fight!!

Witlee1:
My gf got pregnant, I'm not an advocate of abortion so I told her to keep it so I and my live-in gf had a child (girl) outside wedlock who is 2 years old now and I took care of her and the child for 1 year and 8 months,paid the hospital bills and everything, which a single dough of the girls family didn't come to the wellbeing of the child, it was All me which the mother of the girl is aware of.

Though I dont want to marry the girl now due to the harsh economy of Nigeria but I have plans to marry her later on plus I can't just jump into marriage when I'm not yet able to cater for a family yet so I told her to keep the child with her mother till I can be able to stand on my feet and foster for us all,me and my gf still lived together without the baby and I helped her pay some fees for her school cuz I understood that for my baby to be educated the mother needs to be .

Fast forward to now, the mother of my gf doesn't want me to see my child because I don't want to marry my gf now, my gf and her mother had to even report me to human rights for me never to contact my gf any longer cuz I am threatening her which I never did... I tried contacting my gf to know what is happening, she's not picking her calls neither is the mother too and when I texted my gf she rained insults on me lol (life's so unfair)

NB: I learnt from a reliable source that the mother of my gf is the one Influencing her this way,my gf is also in her 3rd year at school
I'm so confused, please advice me on next step to take

Take it to justice court

Favfables1:
When they say abstain from premarital sex, we no go hear, now see where it has landed you...((buh I'm guessing you already know that))...

Go back to the same place they reported you to and also report them... File numerous petition against them, sue them to court where possible...

Even if her parents won't approve your marriage to their daughter, fight tooth and nail to make sure you're in that child's life, you're her father and you have the right to be in that child's life as long as you're ready to be responsible...

And please don't be lackadaisical about this o, if not they'll make your daughter believe that you're dead, or you abandoned her or you're a good for nothing bla bla bla and that will be bad for the psyche of your daughter...

So fight!!

Thank you so much for the advice

deewhydoski:

Take it to justice court

Thank you

How can I start the process?

Witlee1:


Thank you

How can I start the process?

Just google it
All the details is there

Witlee1:
My gf got pregnant, I'm not an advocate of abortion so I told her to keep it so I and my live-in gf had a child (girl) outside wedlock who is 2 years old now and I took care of her and the child for 1 year and 8 months,paid the hospital bills and everything, which a single dough of the girls family didn't come to the wellbeing of the child, it was All me which the mother of the girl is aware of.

Though I dont want to marry the girl now due to the harsh economy of Nigeria but I have plans to marry her later on plus I can't just jump into marriage when I'm not yet able to cater for a family yet so I told her to keep the child with her mother till I can be able to stand on my feet and foster for us all,me and my gf still lived together without the baby and I helped her pay some fees for her school cuz I understood that for my baby to be educated the mother needs to be .

Fast forward to now, the mother of my gf doesn't want me to see my child because I don't want to marry my gf now, my gf and her mother had to even report me to human rights for me never to contact my gf any longer cuz I am threatening her which I never did... I tried contacting my gf to know what is happening, she's not picking her calls neither is the mother too and when I texted my gf she rained insults on me lol (life's so unfair)

NB: I learnt from a reliable source that the mother of my gf is the one Influencing her this way,my gf is also in her 3rd year at school
I'm so confused, please advice me on next step to take

You are sure you didn't abandon the baby? If you did not abandon the baby then the lady has no right to pressure you to marry her. You can even decide not to marry her if you are not in love with her.

Baby cannot bound two people together, if it is not love, it is not going to work. Don't be desperate, if you are not ready, don't rush yourself. You are the baby's father, you can fight for your right but you have to prove that you didn't abadon the baby.

Rosement:

You are sure you didn't abandon the baby? If you did not abandon the baby then the lady has no right to pressure you to marry her. You can even decide not to marry her if you are not in love with her.

Baby cannot bound two people together, if it is not love, it is not going to work. Don't be desperate, if you are not ready, don't rush yourself. You are the baby's father, you can fight for your right but you have to prove that you didn't abadon the baby.

I didn't abandon the baby, infact I took care of the baby and the mother for almost 2 years
I'm hearing they want to pack out of the house they are staying now so should I still relax and wait?

Witlee1:
My gf got pregnant, I'm not an advocate of abortion so I told her to keep it so I and my live-in gf had a child (girl) outside wedlock who is 2 years old now and I took care of her and the child for 1 year and 8 months,paid the hospital bills and everything, which a single dough of the girls family didn't come to the wellbeing of the child, it was All me which the mother of the girl is aware of.

Though I dont want to marry the girl now due to the harsh economy of Nigeria but I have plans to marry her later on plus I can't just jump into marriage when I'm not yet able to cater for a family yet so I told her to keep the child with her mother till I can be able to stand on my feet and foster for us all,me and my gf still lived together without the baby and I helped her pay some fees for her school cuz I understood that for my baby to be educated the mother needs to be .

Fast forward to now, the mother of my gf doesn't want me to see my child because I don't want to marry my gf now, my gf and her mother had to even report me to human rights for me never to contact my gf any longer cuz I am threatening her which I never did... I tried contacting my gf to know what is happening, she's not picking her calls neither is the mother too and when I texted my gf she rained insults on me lol (life's so unfair)

NB: I learnt from a reliable source that the mother of my gf is the one Influencing her this way,my gf is also in her 3rd year at school
I'm so confused, please advice me on next step to take

If you really want to marry her, reconcile with her and introduce her to your family

If you know that you don't have plans for marriage, just keep calm and follow them the way they are

It will sort itself out

Witlee1:


I didn't abandon the baby, infact I took care of the baby and the mother for almost 2 years
I'm hearing they want to pack out of the house they are staying now so should I still relax and wait?

Don't wait, it is better for you to take the matter to court quickly.

Crossing to the other side of the road to get Durex condom would have prevented all these bro

Lubbish

Did you say "lol" My brother you should be sober instead. This is not the time to laugh out loud.

Stop blaming anybody and blame yourself instead. You are not ready to marry, but you are cohabiting with somebody's daughter.

Nigerian economy if too harsh on you to marry, but not that harsh on you to sleep with somebody's daughter and get her pregnant

Some guys sef

Am sure in the past someone must have advised to forget women and focus on your hustle but you shun the person, now everything don cast you run come nairaland

When you were living with the girl like husband and wife you no remember Nairaland

When she was cooking for you you no remember Nairaland

When Una two dey bleep you no remember Nairaland

Now you've been betrayed and cheated on you run come here

The only advise I have for you right now is you see that guy that posted bet9ja up there, collect his number and start playing bet9ja maybe one of this days you'll win big then you'll have enough money to sue your gf and her mother to court

Ok

Okay

Witlee1:
My gf got pregnant, I'm not an advocate of abortion so I told her to keep it so I and my live-in gf had a child (girl) outside wedlock who is 2 years old now and I took care of her and the child for 1 year and 8 months,paid the hospital bills and everything, which a single dough of the girls family didn't come to the wellbeing of the child, it was All me which the mother of the girl is aware of.

Though I dont want to marry the girl now due to the harsh economy of Nigeria but I have plans to marry her later on plus I can't just jump into marriage when I'm not yet able to cater for a family yet so I told her to keep the child with her mother till I can be able to stand on my feet and foster for us all,me and my gf still lived together without the baby and I helped her pay some fees for her school cuz I understood that for my baby to be educated the mother needs to be .

Fast forward to now, the mother of my gf doesn't want me to see my child because I don't want to marry my gf now, my gf and her mother had to even report me to human rights for me never to contact my gf any longer cuz I am threatening her which I never did... I tried contacting my gf to know what is happening, she's not picking her calls neither is the mother too and when I texted my gf she rained insults on me lol (life's so unfair)

NB: I learnt from a reliable source that the mother of my gf is the one Influencing her this way,my gf is also in her 3rd year at school
I'm so confused, please advice me on next step to take

You can't stop her mother from influencing her since you don't have any stake in her life.

Just negotiate with them through a lawyer.

Witlee1:


How can't you take your time and read? I'm surprised people like you passed out of school successfully that's if you went to school.
Where did I write I'm insisting on the baby?

You are just daft
Enjoy the mention you won't get it again

He is not daft bro.

You make it sound so easy from your angle, or that you are getting cheated of your right. When you have an adult daughter, you will defend her, if she falls into that situation.

Your first sentence initially depicted you as not the father of the child as you said “my gf got pregnant”. I read through also until you said “my baby”, thereby clarifying the point that you are the father of the child.

I like the fact that you do not subscribe to abortions, but when you get a woman pregnant, you must be prepared to bear the responsibilities that follow.

Truly you cannot eat your cake and have it. When you have an unplanned pregnancy as you have encountered, wisdom, cooperation and understanding must be allowed to work.

You claimed that you could not foot the bill of a family, yet you have retained the young woman, accommodating her and paying her school fees. What will happen if she gets pregnant again? Have you thought about the possibility too? You surrendered responsibility of the child to the grandma the day you handed over. Now she sees you as not being able to support a family, so she wants her daughter to abandon you, irrespective of the child between the two of you.

Most parents rise to defend their children in cases like this and some choose the extreme of severing ties, just like this woman has done with her child.

I think that you need to get some reasonable people with you to meet the family of the lady. If the lady wishes to go on with a marriage now and you are not ready, then you must take a decision to either let her go or marry her even with your status.

On the child, you need to sort it out with the girl physically, so they do not stop you from seeing the child. Your child needs to grow knowing you are involved completely in her life, no matter what happens.

Cheers.