Nigerian parents use the most awful words on their children...

They beat them... Using belts and canes and even brooms... As though they are animals...

They delibrately humiliate them in public...

Why can't Nigerian parents respect their children? I don't mean pamper but respect them the way they would respect the children of foreigners and those who are wealthy...

There's nothing wrong with treating your children like decent human beings... Reason with them when they do wrong... Be their friend and confidant...

It doesn't make you any less a parent, your primary duties are to provide them with food, shelter... To educate them and teach them your values... To be their protector also...

All this can be done in a non-toxic manner... You mustn't damage the esteem of a child to feel sure of yourself as an adult...

Most Africans, especially Nigerians feel inferior compared to their counterparts abroad... Because they grew up in a home and society that constantly puts them down... Most children grow up to be bitter, insecure youths...

Beating your children or using harsh words on them... It doesn't make them better... Only scared. You can successfully instill fear... But what purpose does that serve? A frightened child who's cautious of you... When they experience the world, the realise that not every negative action of theirs has consequences... They can afford to do bad and he away with it because there's no adult with a whip to abuse them...

The vast majority of our sons in cults, engaging in fraud, rituals... And daughters who turn to prostitution to survive and keep up an extravagant lifestyle... They were all abused disciplined as kids...

When your child realises that the world is morally corrupt, and for doing bad, they even get rewarded and that the world, no matter how perverse is more accepting of their imperfections... They would instantly forget you...

Children are like clay... You mould them delicately... Taking to your child like they are your mates, it gives them a sense of authority and responsibility... Make them know it's normal to make mistakes, because you made them too... Let them feel pride in themselves...

Yes, they can't be all you expect... But your love for them should be enough for you to accept and appreciate this fact...

Don't put your kids under so much pressure to be perfect... That's hypocritical and shallow... Let them be kids... Simply guide their steps with firm yet compassionate hands...

I can't understand how parents beat their kids... And worse of all, verbally abuse them...

If you're upset, calm down... The way you would with your boss in the office... Your children are worth more, so make some effort.

Take a break... Have a level headed discussion with them...

Make the see things from your perspective... If they know the dangers of an action of theirs... They wouldn't repeat it...

When you beat them, they avoid doing wrong in your presence only... They do not understand and most often, they become defiant...

Let your children grow... Don't hold back the next generation with our retrogressive African culture where the parent is the all-knowing, self-righteous, supreme leader...

Mynd44
Dominique.

Is there a word for respect in most Nigerian languages?

To answer your question.

Nigerian parents don't respect their children because the culture is all about seniority. The young respect the old and not vice versa.

In most Nigerian cultures, the young children can get respect from the old ones only when they are well to do in the society.

thebosstrevor1:
Is there a word for respect in most Nigerian languages?

To answer your question.

Nigerian parents don't respect their children because the culture is all about seniority.

I have a neighbour who delibrately uses bad words on her kids in public...the father just made it his duty to beat them with his belts...

Like, what's the point? I can't understand two grownups who need to drag shoulders with little children...

The woman teaches in a school... There's a kid there, half Nigerian, half Scot... The way everyone treats the boy... Like he's the next best thing after Jesus...

Blacks just love to pick on themselves... We can't live without oppressing another... Unless he/she isn't black...

It's repulsive...

Datboredberry:
I have a neighbour who delibrately uses bad words on her kids in public...the father just made it his duty to beat them with his belts...

Like, what's the point? I can't understand two grownups who need to drag shoulders with little children...

The woman teaches in a school... These a kid there, half Nigerian, half Scot... The way everyone treats the boy... Like he's the next best thing after Jesus...

Blacks just love to pick on themselves... We can't live without oppressing another... Unless he/she isn't black...

It's repulsive...

Literally that is frustration acting out.

Many Nigerian parents both home and abroad are frustrated about their lives,so they channel their frustration into their children or anyone close by.

Child training among Nigerian parents is a tragedy, it is more about enforcing respect by force and violence. It is part of the culture.

You can go to your village, the most respected man and woman are the violent ones, who uses terror to sudue the people. What do you expect when this type of world view is passed from generation to generation.

The African way is unique. I kinda like it. It doesn't mean parents don't love thier children. The rich kid who was given all the respect by his was a bully in dowen college. When the right time comes, parents will let kids take there respect without stress. It's simple.

Oluromantic:
The African way is unique. I kinda like it. It doesn't mean parents don't love thier children. The rich kid who was given all the respect by his was a bully in dowen college. When the right time comes, parents will let kids take there respect without stress. It's simple.

So how about average and poor Nigerian parents that brutalized their children and house helps.

You type as if violence and brutality is of a certain class of people, when in reality the society we live in guilty of the crime.

Oluromantic:
The African way is unique. I kinda like it. It doesn't mean parents don't love thier children. The rich kid who was given all the respect by his was a bully in dowen college. When the right time comes, parents will let kids take there respect without stress. It's simple.

How does this relate?

You're certain they were pampered?

Because the vast majority of cultists are on the streets... The average Nigerian who was raised the 'African way'...

The government schools... Nearly everyone is in one cult or the other...

The kids who are sent to rich schools... Because their parents are aware that the schools for the poor masses have nothing to offer... The teachers can't even answer simple questions... No regulations... Nothing... Just a refuse dump...

Why did this case blow up? Because the risk of being bullied in a school for the wealthy... Very low... It was UNEXPECTED!!!

What's the benefit of our unique culture? Africans are still the most backwards... We contribute nothing...

All because most of us were denied our right to grow... To make mistakes, learn from them... Guided by loving parents not those who seem to strive to make their children feel inferior...

Africans have esteem issues... I'm yet to see a hundred who can stand besides an American and feel up to any task the latter can perform...

Because of years of being called 'dumb' and 'stupid' and constantly being compared to other kids...

As an African, why would you hesitate to beat up the kid of your governor or the white kid of a European?

You believe yours are so inferior to be treated like sheep? In so many cases, delibrately tortured... But y'all are top grade sycophants...

See how foreigners are treated by Nigerians... Compare it to the way we treat each other... Like sh**...

Your children... They grow up to be insecure, unintelligent... Typical Africans...

It's so easy to condemn the West... Because it means y'all don't get to be demi-gods in the lives of your children... Yet, the Westerners grow up to become almost perfect; smart, sure of themselves, productive...

Here, a little taste of freedom and every abused child runs amok!

thebosstrevor1:


So how about average and poor Nigerian parents that brutalized their children and house helps.

You type as if violence and brutality is of a certain class of people, when in reality the society we live in guilty of the crime.

Exactly!

In Africa, a child can't even sit if the elders CHOOSE to stand... How is that character building? Of what benefit would this act of slavery serve the child later on? To become subservient?

I don't get most of our traditions... Zero relevance in the modern world...

There has to be a balance.

Discipline them when they are wrong (it doesn't have to be beating everytime)

Apologize when you are wrong ( many parents have never and will never do this)

Listen to their reasons for doing what they did and try to understand them instead of jumping the gun and dishing out beatings and punishment.

Allow them air their views. It is not only your own that should be right all the time.

Stop bullying them in the name of being their parents. It doesn't help their self esteem.

Datboredberry:
Nigerian parents use the most awful words on their children...

They beat them... Using belts and canes and even brooms... As though they are animals...

They delibrately humiliate them in public...

Why can't Nigerian parents respect their children? I don't mean pamper but respect them the way they would respect the children of foreigners and those who are wealthy...

There's nothing wrong with treating your children like decent human beings... Reason with them when they do wrong... Be their friend and confidant...

It doesn't make you any less a parent, your primary duties are to provide them with food, shelter... To educate them and teach them your values... To be their protector also...

All this can be done in a non-toxic manner... You mustn't damage the esteem of a child to feel sure of yourself as an adult...

Most Africans, especially Nigerians feel inferior compared to their counterparts abroad... Because they grew up in a home and society that constantly puts them down... Most children grow up to be bitter, insecure youths...

Beating your children or using harsh words on them... It doesn't make them better... Only scared. You can successfully instill fear... But what purpose does that serve? A frightened child who's cautious of you... When they experience the world, the realise that not every negative action of theirs has consequences... They can afford to do bad and he away with it because there's no adult with a whip to abuse them...

The vast majority of our sons in cults, engaging in fraud, rituals... And daughters who turn to prostitution to survive and keep up an extravagant lifestyle... They were all abused disciplined as kids...

When your child realises that the world is morally corrupt, and for doing bad, they even get rewarded and that the world, no matter how perverse is more accepting of their imperfections... They would instantly forget you...

Children are like clay... You mould them delicately... Taking to your child like they are your mates, it gives them a sense of authority and responsibility... Make them know it's normal to make mistakes, because you made them too... Let them feel pride in themselves...

Yes, they can't be all you expect... But your love for them should be enough for you to accept and appreciate this fact...

Don't put your kids under so much pressure to be perfect... That's hypocritical and shallow... Let them be kids... Simply guide their steps with firm yet compassionate hands...

I can't understand how parents beat their kids... And worse of all, verbally abuse them...

If you're upset, calm down... The way you would with your boss in the office... Your children are worth more, so make some effort.

Take a break... Have a level headed discussion with them...

Make the see things from your perspective... If they know the dangers of an action of theirs... They wouldn't repeat it...

When you beat them, they avoid doing wrong in your presence only... They do not understand and most often, they become defiant...

Let your children grow... Don't hold back the next generation with our retrogressive African culture where the parent is the all-knowing, self-righteous, supreme leader...

Mynd44
Dominique.

Nairalanders are too backward to understand your point. What you explained is all they know and what they’ll exhibit to their unborn generation.

Datboredberry:
.…. Don't hold back the next generation with our retrogressive African culture where the parent is the all-knowing, self-righteous, supreme leader …….
.

I have come to realises that it’s mostly caused by lack of exposure and enlightenment on the part of these parents. Illiterates and parents that don’t like to read exhibit these terrible parenting styles.

I can’t imagine reading posts and comments like yours and still be hardened to mal-handle my unborn kids when I have them.

It’s highly important to marry a well educated spouse if you want the best for your kids

We were never whipped in my house.
It has it benefits. The self confidence i have ehn. Also we're all outspoken and can discuss anything amongst ourselves.

Negroid001:
We were never whipped in my house.
It has it benefits. The self confidence i have ehn. Also we're all outspoken and can discuss anything amongst ourselves.

Me too! I attended a foreign school... First time I was flogged... Jss1...

I thought there was an iron rod in the wooden cane... It hurt alot... Later on, I took it like a pro... I ended up being defiant... But my home was great... School however... I missed classes delibrately... Didn't care to arrive early...

It's weird I still had an amazing reputation... Plus, my grades never suffered!

Looking innocent had its perks...

Datboredberry:
Me too! I attended a foreign school... First time I was flogged... Jss1...

I thought there was an iron rod in the wooden cane... It hurt alot... Later on, I took it like a pro... I ended up being defiant... But my home was great... School however... I missed classes delibrately... Didn't care to arrive early...

It's weird I still had an amazing reputation... Plus, my grades never suffered!

Looking innocent had its perks...

You sef chop pankere

Oluromantic:
The African way is unique. I kinda like it. It doesn't mean parents don't love thier children. The rich kid who was given all the respect by his was a bully in dowen college. When the right time comes, parents will let kids take there respect without stress. It's simple.

Rubbish!

What about the many poor kids who are treated like trash at home by their parents who then go out to bully other kids and adults out of the streets? To many of these kids, there own fathers and mothers are nothing but bullies to them.

Walk out onto the streets each morning and you will see kids from poor homes who understand their lives to have meaning and respect is only that which they can violently obtain by bullying others in society.