I would like to share my current situation on this platform , and I will very much appreciate your mature advice on the issue.

I have been having issues with my wife after our first born, we married about 3 years ago, our first born is now about 2 years old, we have been having series of issues In the marriage, my wife argues with me a lot on flimsy issues at times, we do not have constant sex, although I started helping more in the house,I cook and and I do the laundry , and asked her to give me my share of the work, when she complained about work load,I am the only one really working now, and paying 98 percent of the bills.

I told my wife that I will like us to be eating together on the same plate to improve closeness, she refused, she sees arguement as normal discussion, sometimes we have sex once or twice in a month, I have told her I will like us all to attend the same church and pray together, but she still attends her Nigerian church online , where they are always seeing vision , and I do not like her attending that church.she also attends online services of my church with me, but I would like us to be attending one church even if it is not my church.
I asked her recently that we need to be praying together for our marriage even if it is 10 minutes every day, after weeks of no response from her,I approached her yesterday and scolded her about it, she cried and I comforted her, I later asked her at night to come for the prayer,and she said she is not coming.
We live abroad and my mum wants to pay us a visit,
She told me the kitchen is her's and my mum should not enter the kitchen, and I told her that it will be difficult, we can pre cook all our food, But she might need to make tea and I will like her to be able to do that by her self , but my wife refused.
In her church she is attending they already branded. My mother a witch. Even if my mother is a witch, we only need to pray against it, should we humiliate her when she visits us? I cannot make my wife my mother, she does not show me much love and does not show that she cares, neither does she respect me. My mum shows me love that I can feel.

Now we are living like neighbours in the same house.
Do you think she is interested in the marriage or has another plan?

I understand how you feel, she is making you feel less of an African man.

Just be patient with her, put everything in prayer, don't be carried away, love ur child.

And be ready for plan B incase she dump You... Don't be carried away at all, anyhow it happens, always learn to move on...

Cos if you don't work on the marriage, things may go south and since you are abroad not naija, it may hurt you the more and make you sad on and on.

Pray to God and have plan B incase she said she is ready for divorce, cos it's already showing...

Simping in marriage will take u no where.
Those bullshit marriage councilors tell you, to do more, sweep more, fetch more water, cook more, clean more, watch plate more and all those bullshit will not a change a demonic wife. And if she's lost sexual attraction for you, to burst ur bubble, doing those houseboy work especially when u dont normally do it will only make her pvssy dry the more.

Most of u all never saw ur father do those bullshit, yet he commanded respect from your mother, but u want to become house boy to ur wife and think u will get her respect...shiior.

This is Africa..no matter the advancement, doing those bullshit will only bring premium tears and disrespect....except out of volition on rare occasion, not out of duty, or her expectations.

If she needs domestic helper, she should get a houseboy. simple. What does she do with her salary? She should pay for househelp paraventure a man doesnt have enough for that

.
Nonsense

When my elder bro wife venture call our Popsy wizard,na from that day my popsman disown my bro and immediately rejected my brother's wife as his daughter in-law....Even the pastor wey see the vision for her too,we almost go burn him church,but na my popsman just calm us down

Even if your mum na witch self, nothing suppose warrant your wife to call her a witch

As for una marriage, op,I must tell you the bitter truth bro,that una marriage go soon reach battery low,shut down

50pseamer...

The fault lies with her...I don't know what the men above are commenting on though... A man helping out in HIS home makes him weak or less African?

Primitive human beings...

Op... Your wife is a religious fanatic... Her claiming that your mom is a witch...the woman who gave birth to you, raised you up, and made you into the man she married... That's a no go area...

I can't tolerate that sh**...

She's being difficult delibrately... Manipulating you into severing your relationship with your mother whom she doesn't like...

Send her away!!! For a couple months... I don't know how you remain with someone who had the confidence to insult your own mom...

Better let her know who you're loyal to... Stop allowing her to play with your mind...

If you keep trying to please her, she wins...

I know a man... He brought his mom from her home to live with him... He traveled and his wife started to harass the poor old woman... When he got back, he sent his wife and his kids to the village... Less than a year, she learnt respect and humility...(not really but the suffering got to her)...

Be tough...

50pseamer:
I would like to share my current situation on this platform , and I will very much appreciate your mature advice on the issue.

I have been having issues with my wife after our first born, we married about 3 years ago, our first born is now about 2 years old, we have been having series of issues In the marriage, my wife argues with me a lot on flimsy issues at times, we do not have constant sex, although I started helping more in the house,I cook and and I do the laundry , and asked her to give me my share of the work, when she complained about work load,I am the only one really working now, and paying 98 percent of the bills.

I told my wife that I will like us to be eating together on the same plate to improve closeness, she refused, she sees arguement as normal discussion, sometimes we have sex once or twice in a month, I have told her I will like us all to attend the same church and pray together, but she still attends her Nigerian church online , where they are always seeing vision , and I do not like her attending that church.she also attends online services of my church with me, but I would like us to be attending one church even if it is not my church.
I asked her recently that we need to be praying together for our marriage even if it is 10 minutes every day, after weeks of no response from her,I approached her yesterday and scolded her about it, she cried and I comforted her, I later asked her at night to come for the prayer,and she said she is not coming.
We live abroad and my mum wants to pay us a visit,
She told me the kitchen is her's and my mum should not enter the kitchen, and I told her that it will be difficult, we can pre cook all our food, But she might need to make tea and I will like her to be able to do that by her self , but my wife refused.
In her church she is attending they already branded. My mother a witch. Even if my mother is a witch, we only need to pray against it, should we humiliate her when she visits us? I cannot make my wife my mother, she does not show me much love and does not show that she cares, neither does she respect me. My mum shows me love that I can feel.

Now we are living like neighbours in the same house.
Do you think she is interested in the marriage or has another plan?

go and print fake divorce paper drop it for her to see give her two days to make up her mind on the way forward and watch the drama, remember when you give her that fake divorce do not sleep in the house make arrangement with ur friend or hotel to sleep over that night, ignore her food do not give her attention and watch the drama display she will come back on her sense

I couldn't resist commenting on this because I don't like to see couples suffer unnecessarily.

First, I need you to understand that most ladies of this dispensation maybe good but certainly not prepared for marriage. Their dream of marriage is far from the actual reality of the institution.

You have done well to speak out.

Now, please relax and restrategize. From the way you sound,you seem to be more passionate about the marriage than your wife.

Don't beat yourself too hard. Relax and keep your head together. If there is one thing you must do now, it is for you to let your wife know that she is not doing you a favour. You are both in a contract; you are both in a business. If she can no longer cope, you should be ready to show her the way out. Your kids will not suffer! For the kids, a sound minded divorced parents is better than a warped, depressed and uncoordinated parent

Please and please, don't go about this with ego o. You need to be manipulative and strategic about it. Never attack a woman defensively, you will not win o

Lastly, I have only provided you a surface answer. Only you know what and what is hidden between the two of you. I cannot begin to ask that now but I hope others will give you a more simpler solution or perspectives.

Bonesbreaker:
go and print fake divorce paper drop it for her to see give her two days to make up her mind on the way forward and watch the drama, remember when you give her that fake divorce do not sleep in the house make arrangement with ur friend or hotel to sleep over that night, ignore her food do not give her attention and watch the drama display she will come back on her sense

Not this alone... The wife is a religious sheep... The one who's paid her prophet money to accuse someone else of being bad... And the Op's mom is their poor victim...

He gives her the divorce paper... Gives her a deadline to leave that church and get her sh** together... Or the marriage ends!

If she would rather accuse his mom if being a witch... Then she ain't worth it...

There are more saner women out there...

Datboredberry:
Not this alone... The wife is a religious sheep... The one who's paid her prophet money to accuse someone else of being bad... And the Op's mom is their poor victim...

He gives her the divorce paper... Gives her a deadline to leave that church and get her sh** together... Or the marriage ends!

If she would rather accuse his mom if being a witch... Then she ain't worth it...

There are more saner women out there...

he need to step up his game and doing so he need to place that lady where she belong that's by first making her understand that your ready to walk out of the marriage and when she try to come back on her sense you give her condition on church and etc first he need to hit her in a very strong way.

Datboredberry:
Not this alone... The wife is a religious sheep... The one who's paid her prophet money to accuse someone else of being bad... And the Op's mom is their poor victim...

He gives her the divorce paper... Gives her a deadline to leave that church and get her sh** together... Or the marriage ends!

If she would rather accuse his mom if being a witch... Then she ain't worth it...

There are more saner women out there...

Una think say na naija u dey, serve her fake divorce paper and she serve you real divorce paper, and she dump ur ass.

You think say na everybody divorce paper dey shark.. u never think whether she don get the origina divorce paper for hand waiting to serve the man when the thing becomes unbearable...

Ebubechuwku:




Una think say na naija u dey, serve her fake divorce paper and she serve you real divorce paper, and she dump ur ass.

You think say na everybody divorce paper dey shark.. u never think whether she don get the origina divorce paper for hand waiting to serve the man when the thing becomes unbearable...

I want the op to even divorce her... Accusing his mom of witchcraft! That's the last straw... How can he even think of his wife with any affection?

I would have gotten rid of her since... Imagine him even trying to please her...

I don't interfere into marital issues. I only comment on pre wedding pictures tell them ahead how it will end. Guess what they never listen. At the end topics like this will hit FP.

Bonesbreaker:
he need to step up his game and doing so he need to place that lady where she belong that's by first making her understand that your ready to walk out of the marriage and when she try to come back on her sense you give her condition on church and etc first he need to hit her in a very strong way.

The op even mentioned that he asked his wife that '...they should pray against it...' if his mother is a witch...

Escape menstruation... Any child that can't body stand up for a parent who they know isn't bad... Not worth the labour that's parenthood...

And accusing your parent of witchcraft! I can't understand religious people... Sorry.

Datboredberry:


I want the op to even divorce her... Accusing his mom of witchcraft! That's the last straw... How can he even think of his wife with any affection?

I would have gotten rid of her since... Imagine him even trying to please her...

No be everybody get mind... the wife dey behave like man, she get strong heart... the man No strong because of sex wey she dey collect..

A man needs to be strong in anything... how will your mom feel when your wife calls her a witch....nna eh, and as a man na sex u still dey after ... people néeds to tame their physical self..

Datboredberry:
The op even mentioned that he asked his wife that '...they should pray against it...' if his mother is a witch...

Escape menstruation... Any child that can't body stand up for a parent who they know isn't bad... No worth the labour that's parenthood...

And accusing your parent of witchcraft! I can't understand religious people... Sorry.

is so bad

50pseamer:
I would like to share my current situation on this platform , and I will very much appreciate your mature advice on the issue.

I have been having issues with my wife after our first born, we married about 3 years ago, our first born is now about 2 years old, we have been having series of issues In the marriage, my wife argues with me a lot on flimsy issues at times, we do not have constant sex, although I started helping more in the house,I cook and and I do the laundry , and asked her to give me my share of the work, when she complained about work load,I am the only one really working now, and paying 98 percent of the bills.

I told my wife that I will like us to be eating together on the same plate to improve closeness, she refused, she sees arguement as normal discussion, sometimes we have sex once or twice in a month, I have told her I will like us all to attend the same church and pray together, but she still attends her Nigerian church online , where they are always seeing vision , and I do not like her attending that church.she also attends online services of my church with me, but I would like us to be attending one church even if it is not my church.
I asked her recently that we need to be praying together for our marriage even if it is 10 minutes every day, after weeks of no response from her,I approached her yesterday and scolded her about it, she cried and I comforted her, I later asked her at night to come for the prayer,and she said she is not coming.
We live abroad and my mum wants to pay us a visit,
She told me the kitchen is her's and my mum should not enter the kitchen, and I told her that it will be difficult, we can pre cook all our food, But she might need to make tea and I will like her to be able to do that by her self , but my wife refused.
In her church she is attending they already branded. My mother a witch. Even if my mother is a witch, we only need to pray against it, should we humiliate her when she visits us? I cannot make my wife my mother, she does not show me much love and does not show that she cares, neither does she respect me. My mum shows me love that I can feel.

Now we are living like neighbours in the same house.
Do you think she is interested in the marriage or has another plan?

Based on your story, there is another plan.
Based on your story, a lot of information is being left out. I see through this write-up and you are not the saint.
She is not either

[color=#770077][/color] J

Ebubechuwku:


No be everybody get mind... the wife dey behave like man, she get strong heart... the man No strong because of sex wey she dey collect..

A man needs to be strong in anything... how will your mom feel when your wife calls her a witch....nna eh, and as a man na sex u still after ... people née to tame their physical self..

The man being weak simply because he's been deprived of sex... He's as weak as they come...

There are male virgins out there with more balls...

Honestly, imagine crying that you wanna have sex with someone who goes out of their way to humiliate your own mother...

Maybe there's only a few of us who actually respect our parents...

Datboredberry:
The man being weak simply because he's been deprived of sex... He's as weak as they come...

There are male virgins out there with more balls...

Honestly, imagine crying that you wanna have sex with someone who goes out of their way to humiliate your own mother...

Maybe there's only a few of us who actually respect our parents...

the woman don sabi hin mumu bottom... as a man one needs to tame his emotions and Man up...

Live let's live is a big problem of the world, you must be on their pedal so they'll match you as much as they like


How difficult is it to focus just on your own life and stop wanting to control others. If you don't have anything positive to add on someone's life the least you could do is leave the person alone, stop adding salts to injury.


I hate drama with passion

Wahala

Shokoloko:

Based on your story, there is another plan.
Based on your story, a lot of information is being left out. I see through this write-up and you are not the saint.
She is not either

I am not saying I am a saint, infact when there are issues , I apologize more easily than my wife. I feel very strongly for my child, I do not want him to suffer, she complained earlier that I was not helping with the baby and I started helping more, after a while, she said we need to go to a counsellor, I have agreed and also searched for a Christian one, but she prefers the one with a degree in psychology,
Sometimes when she offends me I can be blunt, and I might says some words, but not extreme words the words are only an interpretation of the attitude I see.
She knows it all, and does not easily take correction, even when I try to play with her she easily takes offence. Mind you all these never happened while we were dating, I noticed a bit of stubbornness and I tried to correct her , and told her that is one of the attribute I hate the most.
I am at point that I am not sure she loves me , and I don't even know if everything happening in my home is normal.

Datboredberry:
The man being weak simply because he's been deprived of sex... He's as weak as they come...

There are male virgins out there with more balls...

Honestly, imagine crying that you wanna have sex with someone who goes out of their way to humiliate your own mother...

Maybe there's only a few of us who actually respect our parents...

I am actually not that weak because of sex, I stayed without sex for almost nine years before I married her, I had more sexually attractive options before I choose her,I guess she was the most chatty with me then.

Confusing

PapaGfad:
I couldn't resist commenting on this because I don't like to see couples suffer unnecessarily.

First, I need you to understand that most ladies of this dispensation maybe good but certainly not prepared for marriage. Their dream of marriage is far from the actual reality of the institution.

You have done well to speak out.

Now, please relax and restrategize. From the way you sound,you seem to be more passionate about the marriage than your wife.

Don't beat yourself too hard. Relax and keep your head together. If there is one thing you must do now, it is for you to let your wife know that she is not doing you a favour. You are both in a contract; you are both in a business. If she can no longer cope, you should be ready to show her the way out. Your kids will not suffer! For the kids, a sound minded divorced parents is better than a warped, depressed and uncoordinated parent

Please and please, don't go about this with ego o. You need to be manipulative and strategic about it. Never attack a woman defensively, you will not win o

Lastly, I have only provided you a surface answer. Only you know what and what is hidden between the two of you. I cannot begin to ask that now but I hope others will give you a more simpler solution or perspectives.

Op, this is where I pitch my tent.

50pseamer:
I would like to share my current situation on this platform , and I will very much appreciate your mature advice on the issue.

I have been having issues with my wife after our first born, we married about 3 years ago, our first born is now about 2 years old, we have been having series of issues In the marriage, my wife argues with me a lot on flimsy issues at times, we do not have constant sex, although I started helping more in the house,I cook and and I do the laundry , and asked her to give me my share of the work, when she complained about work load,I am the only one really working now, and paying 98 percent of the bills.

I told my wife that I will like us to be eating together on the same plate to improve closeness, she refused, she sees arguement as normal discussion, sometimes we have sex once or twice in a month, I have told her I will like us all to attend the same church and pray together, but she still attends her Nigerian church online , where they are always seeing vision , and I do not like her attending that church.she also attends online services of my church with me, but I would like us to be attending one church even if it is not my church.
I asked her recently that we need to be praying together for our marriage even if it is 10 minutes every day, after weeks of no response from her,I approached her yesterday and scolded her about it, she cried and I comforted her, I later asked her at night to come for the prayer,and she said she is not coming.
We live abroad and my mum wants to pay us a visit,
She told me the kitchen is her's and my mum should not enter the kitchen, and I told her that it will be difficult, we can pre cook all our food, But she might need to make tea and I will like her to be able to do that by her self , but my wife refused.
In her church she is attending they already branded. My mother a witch. Even if my mother is a witch, we only need to pray against it, should we humiliate her when she visits us? I cannot make my wife my mother, she does not show me much love and does not show that she cares, neither does she respect me. My mum shows me love that I can feel.

Now we are living like neighbours in the same house.
Do you think she is interested in the marriage or has another plan?

boss man ,,most advice you will get here are from married and unmarried people it's okay atleast filter the important ones ,,,see baba ,the issue of eating in one plate is something u Should he don in the stage of dating ,not after marriage ,.... solution is eat with one plate with your kids leave a memory behind boss man ,if most women desire to course a separation between father and kids and you been over sea ,,,eat with the kids ,,,let your mother still come around so the kids can get familiar with their grandmother ,,,

my father one's told me never share duty with a lady instead assist her ,man you bleeped up saying she should tell u what to do ,,,boss from your write up I can detect you never dated much chasing different ladies ,(womanizer) na there u take mess up ,,,,I tell guys cheat o,, change girls to understand how a lady thinks because these fellows are not humans I call them creatures ... channel all your strength to your hustle bro and your kids go to the gym and keep fit and let's see if some changes will not pop out ,if no changes file for a divorce since she is too timid to quickly do so.

50pseamer:



I am actually not that weak because of sex, I stayed without sex for almost nine years before I married her, I had more sexually attractive options before I choose her,I guess she was the most chatty with me then.

Sorry... But your wife is toxic... She's dumb for insulting your mother... Stand your ground... She either keeps her bullsh** to herself or you're done...

Don't fall your mom's hand nah..

The woman has issues.. enough with the prayers..

Did you go to a therapist? With a degree...

50pseamer:



I am actually not that weak because of sex, I stayed without sex for almost nine years before I married her, I had more sexually attractive options before I choose her,I guess she was the most chatty with me then.

na here your problem take start ,you stayed without it for 9years most women can't stay without it for 6 months ,,,you na rev father ,even father day hide knack ,baba if u dateed alot you would have understand nature of female I swear ,

Datboredberry:
Sorry... But your wife is toxic... She's dumb for insulting your mother... Stand your ground... She either keeps her bullsh** to herself or you're done...

Don't fall your mom's hand nah..

The woman has issues.. enough with the prayers..

Did you go to a therapist? With a degree...

Not yet, I sent her the link, she is the one insisting on special criteria, so I asked to to look for it, I have sent her my own suggestion.

50pseamer:


Not yet, I sent her the link, she is the one insisting on special criteria, so I asked to to look for it, I have sent her my own suggestion.

Issues like yours, the reason I'm not keen on getting married... So much unnecessary stress...

larryking540:
na here your problem take start ,you stayed without it for 9years most women can't stay without it for 6 months ,,,you na rev father ,even father day hide knack ,baba if u dateed alot you would have understand nature of female I swear ,

You sure? I think women can... They find it easier to be celibate...