killmods:


If he's ur friend u would hint at it in a way for him to decode that's why i said u should tell him to not rush and be fervent in prayers about it. Let it be sus na part of the process to allow him find out himself but if he's not ur friend u have no business even congratulating him. Nothing stays hidden forever u should know. So even if it's 10 years after and he knows. How do u think he would feel about u as a friend? U go marry one day or might need his assistance on something one day in future. Man is not God that forgives and gives us a clean slate. He might use it against u or anything u hold dear in future. What I'm saying is in this life always try to get a clean record as best u can. Do the right thing. Friendship pass Howfar Howfar. Again except he's not ur friend

I understand, as I speak with u, he is right here with me in the office base on d marriage matter.

OLUPET009:
There is this lady we dated for like five months, before going out separate ways although we are still great friends. But before we started dating, there is a pastor friend (good) of mine who once ask out around March this year with the help of a senior Pastor who arrange the meeting between them, but she refuse giving some k-leg excuses. During the period of us been together, she took in but requested she aborted but I wasn't ok with it though. Just recently the Pastor friend call me and say they are getting along n preparing to marry her by next year. Wine has starting flying self. He even ask me of advise concerning the LADY. Meanwhile she is not aware that I know about their relationship. According to her she has dated three persons before me. Both of them are very close friends of mine. Should I tell Him the whole story And possibly save him or I should just close my mouth and watch how things play. I need mature advise please.

Sir..if you would also be okay and allow her to tell your wife to be when you want to get married that you both also did abortion in the past, then fine ...you can go ahead and tell her fiance now pending when your turn reach...hopefully your other exs don't come and also contribute..Smiles.

Mophor:



God bless u my sister
You've said it all

Amen.
Thank you.

Opeyemiextra:


Don't do that. That's her own story to tell and whatever consequences comes with telling or not telling rest with her. It might not have worked out with you but don't be the reason why this one won't work for her.

She has made mistakes, no doubt, of which you have played a part. Many ladies have abortions and if you aren't told, you will never know. It's a privilege information that you must not hang over her head. Give her a chance to be. You mentioned he is a pastor so let the spirit lead him.

Aside from the abortion, in your time together, was she a good person and all? Even if she is not, Wish them well and look away. Do not use your hand download problems for yourself, please.

am zipping up my mouth.

Ogbrave:

Sir..if you would also be okay and allow her to tell your wife to be when you want to get married that you both also did abortion in the past, then fine ...you can go ahead and tell her fiance now pending when your turn reach...hopefully your other exs don't come and also contribute..Smiles.

I won't do to other wat I don't want others to do to me. Am clearing d issues off my head

OLUPET009:
am zipping up my mouth.

Please, do.

OLUPET009:
There is this lady we dated for like five months, before going out separate ways although we are still great friends. But before we started dating, there is a pastor friend (good) of mine who once ask out around March this year with the help of a senior Pastor who arrange the meeting between them, but she refuse giving some k-leg excuses. During the period of us been together, she took in but requested she aborted but I wasn't ok with it though. Just recently the Pastor friend call me and say they are getting along n preparing to marry her by next year. Wine has starting flying self. He even ask me of advise concerning the LADY. Meanwhile she is not aware that I know about their relationship. According to her she has dated three persons before me. Both of them are very close friends of mine. Should I tell Him the whole story And possibly save him or I should just close my mouth and watch how things play. I need mature advise please.

shebi u don chop your own? Mind your fucking business

OLUPET009:
Thumb up for you, am not planning to tell Him not now not ever. As for telling to intense prayer it will look suspicious. So far I just congratate him n ask him to hasten up d process

na now u dey talk

OLUPET009:
There is this lady we dated for like five months, before going out separate ways although we are still great friends. But before we started dating, there is a pastor friend (good) of mine who once ask out around March this year with the help of a senior Pastor who arrange the meeting between them, but she refuse giving some k-leg excuses. During the period of us been together, she took in but requested she aborted but I wasn't ok with it though. Just recently the Pastor friend call me and say they are getting along n preparing to marry her by next year. Wine has starting flying self. He even ask me of advise concerning the LADY. Meanwhile she is not aware that I know about their relationship. According to her she has dated three persons before me. Both of them are very close friends of mine. Should I tell Him the whole story And possibly save him or I should just close my mouth and watch how things play. I need mature advise please.

This one na super story


Prevention they say is better than cure


You are impregnated her before it was terminated

Now you want to spoil her show


I won't say anything

But it could have been avoided to begin with

If either of you or both of you have zipped up

when the need arose

OLUPET009:
There is this lady we dated for like five months, before going out separate ways although we are still great friends. But before we started dating, there is a pastor friend (good) of mine who once ask out around March this year with the help of a senior Pastor who arrange the meeting between them, but she refuse giving some k-leg excuses. During the period of us been together, she took in but requested she aborted but I wasn't ok with it though. Just recently the Pastor friend call me and say they are getting along n preparing to marry her by next year. Wine has starting flying self. He even ask me of advise concerning the LADY. Meanwhile she is not aware that I know about their relationship. According to her she has dated three persons before me. Both of them are very close friends of mine. Should I tell Him the whole story And possibly save him or I should just close my mouth and watch how things play. I need mature advise please.

. Save him from what exactly? Nna nairaland dey vex person these days

OLUPET009:
just one sensible comment spotted. As for me I just allow the pastor figure it out himself.

I agree with the moniker you quoted...
The MOG is your friend and he came to you to seek advice in making one of the most important decision in his life...

I believe that he has other friends, some of whom are also MOG, buh he choose to bring this up with you and seek your counsel, not just because you and the girl are close ((I guess they're other people who are also close to the girl)), buh probably because he trusts your judgement...

Don't forget that, the lady he is thinking of getting married to, will eventually become "mummy in the Lord" to lots of people... She will probably climb the "altar" to "preach" and probably take part in counseling young ladies etc... In order words, she probably will become a "role model"...

I'm not in anyway saying that the lady has to be perfect for all these, NO, ((even me sef, I'm full of flaws)), all I'm saying is that, as much as you don't want to "put sand sand in her garri", don't also play a part in deciet ((cause intentionally hiding the truth can be considered as deception))...

Jeon:



NO


since why you no tell am about the situation?


YOU WANT TO SPOIL SHOW BECAUSE YOU DON'T WANT ANYONE TO MARRY HER SINCE YOU CAN'T.

For you to even think of telling him you're wicked.Do you need somebody to tell you No?
What's ur fcking reason for wanting to tell him by the way?

Help2020:

For you to even think of telling him you're wicked.Do you need somebody to tell you No?
What's ur fcking reason for wanting to tell him by the way?

he for info his friend before now.

[quote author=OLUPET009 post=108575786]There is this lady we dated for like five months, before going out separate ways although we are still great friends. But before we started dating, there is a pastor friend (good) of mine who once ask out around March this year with the help of a senior Pastor who arrange the meeting between them, but she refuse giving some k-leg excuses. During the period of us been together, she took in but requested she aborted but I wasn't ok with it though. Just recently the Pastor friend call me and say they are getting along n preparing to marry her by next year. Wine has starting flying self. He even ask me of advise concerning the LADY. Meanwhile she is not aware that I know about their relationship. According to her she has dated three persons before me. Both of them are very close friends of mine. Should I tell Him the whole story And possibly save him or I should just close my mouth and watch how things play. I need mature advise please.


[Save him from what? You want to tell him that she refused to be your baby mama abi wetin u won tell am? I sincerely hope nor b envy day do u so cause u day sound like junior student for witch craft class o, oga face your life and leave them alone, learn to day rejoice with those way day succeed around you]

Don't be silly Mr, in the first place where you ready to cater for the said baby then. Where you even seeing her as a future wife or you were just all about bringing a baby whose parents aren't ready to live together till death do them part.
Move on unless you are A Simp and an Enemy of Progress. Your future wife only God knows how many times she would have aborted before meeting you.
So move on

When she took in, were you going to marry her? If no, then you are no worse than a murderer.
Also because someone aborted doesn't mean he or she is a bad person. Things happen.
You who is ready to say a secret you might not have been privileged to know if not for circumstances should also bear in mind that you are no clean yourself. I'm sure if you wanted that child, she might have not aborted it.
Are you even saying you haven't made mistakes in your life? Imagine someone coming out to tell your wife to be the sins of your past.
You said she dated two people before you which means her body count might be three before she met this man that wants to marry her. For you to slut shame her, let me ask you another question, how many girls have you bedded? If this said lady didn't give you sex during the time of your relationship, would you have accepted it ?
Before you remove speck of dust from your neighbor's eye, clean out the log of wood in yours.

Opeyemiextra:


Don't do that. That's her own story to tell and whatever consequences comes with telling or not telling rest with her. It might not have worked out with you but don't be the reason why this one won't work for her.

She has made mistakes, no doubt, of which you have played a part. Many ladies have abortions and if you aren't told, you will never know. It's a privilege information that you must not hang over her head. Give her a chance to be. You mentioned he is a pastor so let the spirit lead him.

Aside from the abortion, in your time together, was she a good person and all? Even if she is not, Wish them well and look away. Do not use your hand download problems for yourself, please.

if the pastor was your brother and you know something like that about the wife to be , will you wish them well and look away?? Na jus question ooo

killmods:

Keep quiet keep quiet naim this world take spoil reach like this so.. there are subtler ways he can send the point across. Nothing like keep quiet here. She should be able to accommodate the consequences of her actions and not to trap the poor MOG down with future frustrations. If it's me I will advise her to cut all plans with the marriage to the innocent servant of God and if she proves stubborn I will invite all my friends that have had her before and after me, invite her and the pastor over and spill the beans.. The pastor is his friend for chrissakes

how would you feel if someone you know want to stop your success because of some mistakes in the past

Favfables1:


I agree with the moniker you quoted...
The MOG is your friend and he came to you to seek advice in making one of the most important decision in his life...

I believe that he has other friends, some of whom are also MOG, buh he choose to bring this up with you and seek your counsel, not just because you and the girl are close ((I guess they're other people who are also close to the girl)), buh probably because he trusts your judgement...

Don't forget that, the lady he is thinking of getting married to, will eventually become "mummy in the Lord" to lots of people... She will probably climb the "altar" to "preach" and probably take part in counseling young ladies etc... In order words, she probably will become a "role model"...

I'm not in anyway saying that the lady has to be perfect for all these, NO, ((even me sef, I'm full of flaws)), all I'm saying is that, as much as you don't want to "put sand sand in her garri", don't also play a part in deciet ((cause intentionally hiding the truth can be considered as deception))...

I understand you bro, but am not giving him any advise I will just zip up like many Nairaland suggest. He doesn't know she is also a Tomboy. U can't see on skirts except Sunday's, Monday to Friday on trouser n shirt

thinksquad:
if the pastor was your brother and you know something like that about the wife to be , will you wish them well and look away?? Na jus question ooo

I will spill out 2secs. Blood will understand later but friend will see me as a betrayed. Hardly dis He take decision without letting me know, we are so close

OLUPET009:
Should I tell Him the whole story And possibly save him or I should just close my mouth and watch how things play. I need mature advise please.

Wait, the woman has aborted means she is no longer a woman or deserving of love or what?

Please, stay away from their relationship. You had your time with her and you know why it didn't work out for both of you. Don't now us bad belle spoil her relationship with someone else, even if your friend. Focus that energy instead on you and improving you so that the next person you date will get a better version than she got and left.

Imustnottalk:
how would you feel if someone you know want to stop your success because of some mistakes in the past

If u think that is success then i honestly have nothing to say to u

OLUPET009:
Not that, I just feel he should know. As for Me am not ready for prisoner ring yet

I hope you would mind if she too inform your prospective bride (whenever you are ready for prisoner ring ) that you have been responsible for abortions (now we don't know how many).
I wonder why people only blame the woman for abortions. You went in raw but you were not ready for prisoner ring. If you had promised her marriage, i am sure she would not choose to abort.

You are so hell bent in destroying the life of the lady. Why the hate? She offend you?

uesless man she abort for u. and u no fit marry am. u wan spoil her show as person wan marry am na people like u them dey curse say u no go see pikin till u die. so u think telling ur friend and she won't know it's u. u be big mumu. ur mate dey marry babe way abort for them but u no fit mind ur business. no be ur mate wan marry so. smh. too many useless men

OLUPET009:
Not that, I just feel he should know. As for Me am not ready for prisoner ring yet

Do Not EVER tell him. She is the only one with the right to tell her fiance herself.

But if youre a gossip and your mouth is itching you(like I suspect), go right ahead; just know that any bad blood between them hence is on your conscience.

Tell him joor. If he truly loves her he will stay, if he doesn't he will leave. If the pastor is close to you tell him.
The easiest way is to tell the woman to tell him, so he wouldn't hear it from your mouth first.
You are not a snitch if you told him, what you will be is a mediator

OLUPET009:
as I speak with u he is right here with me discussing d matter self

If this isn't God giving u the go ahead I wonder what other signs u need.. be ur brother's keeper

stinflame:
Don't be silly Mr, in the first place where you ready to cater for the said baby then. Where you even seeing her as a future wife or you were just all about bringing a baby whose parents aren't ready to live together till death do them part.
Move on unless you are A Simp and an Enemy of Progress. Your future wife only God knows how many times she would have aborted before meeting you.
So move on

none of d above, I felt I was doing d wrong by not letting him know, I just wanted to b sure na y I brought it up here. D comments aren't nice at all. Thanks

killmods:

If this isn't God giving u the go ahead I wonder what other signs u need.. be ur brother's keeper

God doesn't do such nonsense...

I mean it is not hard to know what is of God and what is not. This same OP and the lady in question were involved and so had a part in the abortion . So why would God prod the man into telling another of the woman's part to shame her?

Instead, if we follow old Covenant God patterns, God would have maybe required the OP to marry the woman in question but that ain't what is happening here, is it?

OLUPET009:
none of d above, I felt I was doing d wrong by not letting him know, I just wanted to b sure na y I brought it up here. D comments aren't nice at all. Thanks

By not letting him know your Mess or What? you caused it , you aborted the child, you sweet talk her into raw sex. A woman is just a vessel .
So move on Mr. It is closed and closed for life

Who needs an enemy with a friend like op...

Kobojunkie:
God doesn't do such nonsense...

I mean it is not hard to know what is of God and what is not. This same OP and the lady in question were involved and so had a part in the abortion . So why would God prod the man into telling another of the woman's part to shame her?

Instead, if we follow old Covenant God patterns, God would have maybe required the OP to marry the woman in question but that ain't what is happening here, is it?,

You guys are missing the whole point. I'm not saying he should tell his friend about the abortion. But i think he shouldn't be kept in the dark about them dating each other before now. In fact the matter tire me. OP should have let His friend know long before now that they were both an item. And I'm not just saying so to stop the marriage but to save avoidable crash in future ( not everyone loves being kept in the dark) . You guys sound as if a successful marriage is determinant of a successful union. The truth cannot be hidden forever that's why u see some guys will want to know all there is to know before going further (no secrets) . It will eventually come out and his supposed friend will look back at all the opportunities they could have used to straighten the matter. It's not built on a good foundation if u ask me. Allow his friend the right to know who he is getting involved with doesn't mean he wants to break their marriage plans. If the love is genuine it would even make them both stronger. You might be surprised she has already bared it all to the pastor guy and he has accepted her for who she is. The pastor may just be giving his "supposed" friend the opportunity to come clean with him. Point of correction I'm not a bout shaming her. Who perfect People like u are the reasons a lot of complications abound in simple matters. How do u know the pastor will run from her if he knows the truth? If she's even half smart she would let him know about her past not necessarily mentioning how many abortions she has done. So when the storms eventually come he will be willing to stand by her as nothing can throw him off balance . Don't limit God to what u think u know about Him. The saying God works in mysterious ways wasn't coined by a fool.. I won't waste time with all u half cocked niggaz anymore. The OP, all his friends, the girl and the marriage should all gtfo!!! None of my Biz