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Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Family / Can I Give Up The Marriage At This Stage..pls Advise Needed (30533 Views)
I Love My Wife & My Kid, But I Want To Leave The Marriage. Help! / My Sister-In-Law Staying With Us Atimes Knows When We Are Making Love.Pls Advise / Man Forced Into An Arranged Marriage At 24 Shares How He Ends The Marriage (2) (3) (4)
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Re: Can I Give Up The Marriage At This Stage..pls Advise Needed by NemoDatQuod(m): 11:46pm On Dec 18, 2021 |
She is an independent individual even when married. She can leave whenever she wants. Parternity and other issues can be resolved from wherever. Every Nigerian man must come to this understanding: You don't own your wife. She is not your property. She can do whatever she wants to do. Your only recourse is to weigh her actions and decide if you still want to stay married to her. Same for every woman. Simple. efficiencie: 1 Like |
Re: Can I Give Up The Marriage At This Stage..pls Advise Needed by Kobojunkie: 12:28am On Dec 19, 2021 |
NemoDatQuod:I mean in the year 2021, you would think the whole world is aware of this . ![]() 1 Like |
Re: Can I Give Up The Marriage At This Stage..pls Advise Needed by Emmanuel909090: 1:14am On Dec 19, 2021 |
Babsojimjim: Op, I feel your pain. Just let her go, time will bring you both back. But if you can talk sense into her don't let her go, it's obvious you love her more. Don't mind idiots blaming you for stupid reason s, third party and the rest It's your home not theirs, save your home. |
Re: Can I Give Up The Marriage At This Stage..pls Advise Needed by Odani: 5:47am On Dec 19, 2021 |
Babsojimjim: |
Re: Can I Give Up The Marriage At This Stage..pls Advise Needed by LofP(m): 6:38am On Dec 19, 2021 |
![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() InsanePsycho: The friend who is unmarried gingering her friend to leave... After the friend goes, she will become referee checking on both players. After some time she will pity the man by cooking for him and nursing his headaches on her chest before you can say Jack Robinson the wife will know she has entered ONE CHANCE. That is if she realizes on time. 1 Like |
Re: Can I Give Up The Marriage At This Stage..pls Advise Needed by sharone21(f): 8:14am On Dec 19, 2021 |
Marriage needs 2 forgiving spouses especially when the other partner is pleading and hopes to remedy the past hurts. Even God forgave/ives us our sins It is good for intending couples to be emotionally and psychologically mature/ready for marriage. They can separate for a while under a Pastor's monitoring and counselling. Prayers should not be neglected please. |
Re: Can I Give Up The Marriage At This Stage..pls Advise Needed by Jonathan2Edirin(m): 8:33am On Dec 19, 2021 |
Your friend is lucky to have gotten a child from the marriage, my advice to him from one who has passed this situation and have over come it, unforgiveness, bitterness, hatred, no interest in sex, anger all these display by a woman who has long lost love, respect, feelings for you, what is marriage without forgiveness, my guy there is nothing u will say and do more than what u have already done, her mind is made up, you too just have to be strong and courageous to fqce reality, that marriage is over my guy, in my case she told me if she ever comes back she is going to kill me and kill her self if any thing makes her leaves my house again after packing and going to her parents for 2 times this time making it the 3rd, my guy....start you life afresh, don't ever beg her again, delete her pics and no from your phone try make a way to be sending cash for ur kid upkeep, your happiness and peace of mind is a must, she has made up her mind and there is nothing you can do rather than to look for another woman and tell her the truth of ur past, then try make amends of ur ways things u know u did wrong previously in ur marriage try work on them so as not to repeat it again in ur new relationship....guy this phase will pass out, it's just a bad nightmare you are currently having....marriage these days are not what it is now....hustle hard my guy and stay strong with ur God....at the end things will fall into place as far you are the one who is fighting for ur home but she wants out, please give it to her, let her file for the divorce and grant her please.....tell her parents to do the necessary things to refund the bride prize since their daughter is no longer interested in the marriage. Don't kill yourself my guy.......hang out with people who will give u joy, if u feel like having sex my guy find a babe and run things.....you already have a child.... 1 Like |
Re: Can I Give Up The Marriage At This Stage..pls Advise Needed by OlawaleBammie: 9:07am On Dec 19, 2021 |
JovialJune:madam its from both sides jare so gbagbe Even my gf is facing same from me...na everyday she keeps begging, tho i forgave her but will i forget ![]() |
Re: Can I Give Up The Marriage At This Stage..pls Advise Needed by InsanePsycho(m): 9:10am On Dec 19, 2021 |
LofP: Sounds like a lovely end to the story ![]() 1 Like |
Re: Can I Give Up The Marriage At This Stage..pls Advise Needed by Babsojimjim: 9:13am On Dec 19, 2021 |
My friend just peacefully, lovingly and graciously dropped them at the park for them to travel, including her girlfriend who also was dropped at a different park to also travel. Before she left my friend called her dad to inform him that her daughter was coming to see them though she would first branch at her school accommodation to meet her younger brother. Thank you everyone for all your inputs,especially inputs that made good sense. Nothing is to be feared but to be understood. |
Re: Can I Give Up The Marriage At This Stage..pls Advise Needed by emmanuelbrown26: 10:28am On Dec 19, 2021 |
NemoDatQuod:I was their my brother, I hv seen it all my dear brother. Having toured round the 13 states in d country, I still maintain my ground that d guy is a simp as simple as that. Love should never make one stupid including women. |
Re: Can I Give Up The Marriage At This Stage..pls Advise Needed by Hathor5(f): 10:31am On Dec 19, 2021 |
Babsojimjim: This is what I want to know more about before I advise 1 Like |
Re: Can I Give Up The Marriage At This Stage..pls Advise Needed by Babsojimjim: 10:59am On Dec 19, 2021 |
Hathor5: Dear Hathor, This is what transpired. What transpired was that while they were dating for about 6 years before marriage, she found out that the man had a child in previous relationship which was later known by the lady and family members before the wedding, the man broke up because the former lady took in for another guy, and one other was already back to her former guy. Also there had been one or two abortions, and other minor misunderstandings that brought verbal exchange of words. Both the lady and my friend had their own good and bad past, but alll these were resolved in the a meeting with my friend, his wife and wifes parents effectively before marriage and she accepted the to marry my friend both traditionally and in the church. only for her to be bringing up past issues at the slightest misunderstanding using it to blackmail my friend and using it as his weak points. The so called wife was not even married as a virgin. These are the issues which both families resolved before the wedding so why should it be brought up after been resolved. That it is now making her to say she is fed up even after the man had apologized on several occasions when in most cases it was the girl that was supposed to apologise. This is the real issue. My friend is a gentle man who wants peace and continuity. |
Re: Can I Give Up The Marriage At This Stage..pls Advise Needed by Babsojimjim: 11:05am On Dec 19, 2021 |
Hathor5: Hathor5, I would appreciate if you can drop your mail or digits so my friend can private chat you. |
Re: Can I Give Up The Marriage At This Stage..pls Advise Needed by tunjilana: 11:56am On Dec 19, 2021 |
NemoDatQuod: Spot on...But there is a negative side to this mindset..Most men that have internalized this line of tot are also extremely caeeful about how they invest in their wives..they hardly make deep sacrifices for her, just token investments to keep her awake. But most women and advocate of this, hardly see this side. |
Re: Can I Give Up The Marriage At This Stage..pls Advise Needed by NemoDatQuod(m): 2:04pm On Dec 19, 2021 |
Blessed is the hand that giveth! There is no greater joy than in giving. Once one realises that, then you'd do as much as you practically can for your spouse, not just monetarily, but in areas of continued self development, focus, ambition and drive. It does not matter in the least that she may leave you tomorrow and go be with some other guy. You invest in strangers you just met. How much more a woman who agrees to live with you everyday. That's my belief. Ultimately, whether you invest in her or not, when she get's tired of the marriage and wants out, she will ( how do you guys put it) cash out, if you have worked hard and made money. So you may as well treat her right. But most importantly, be very self aware befoe you marry. Marriage is not because of great sex or because she looks beautiful and you can show her off to your friends. Or because you are looking for someone pliable that you can control and manipulate-hence you are happy to send her to school or open a business for her so she is reliant on you. She will grow up one day and her eyes will be opened. Whether you are a male or female, DO NOT marry a liability or a locust. Men and women are EQUALLY endowed with the same inalienable ability to achieve whatever they want. Marry someone who brings something substantial to the table. Else be afraid. Very afraid. tunjilana: |
Re: Can I Give Up The Marriage At This Stage..pls Advise Needed by NemoDatQuod(m): 2:10pm On Dec 19, 2021 |
Ha!ha!ha!ha! What is love if not stupidity? There is no reason or rhyme to it. That is why it is Love. If it is rational and logical, it is not yet love. Romeo and Juliet; Helen of Troy and her lover Paris; and so on and so forth. They each did the most stupid and crazy things for love. That is why we each need to be extremely careful who we fall in love with because once you are in love, there is no logic to it. emmanuelbrown26: |
Re: Can I Give Up The Marriage At This Stage..pls Advise Needed by emmanuelbrown26: 6:08pm On Dec 19, 2021 |
NemoDatQuod:This word LOVE should be for strong at heart not faint hearted 1 Like |
Re: Can I Give Up The Marriage At This Stage..pls Advise Needed by Hathor5(f): 6:29pm On Dec 19, 2021 |
Babsojimjim: A lot happened in the past and although you think it has been resolved she has not made peace with the past neither found forgiveness in her heart. Now she wants to leave. He has the choice to hold her back by force or allow her to move on. It's not right to hold someone back by force so let her do whatever she feels she must do. I hope there are no kids involved? |
Re: Can I Give Up The Marriage At This Stage..pls Advise Needed by Kobojunkie: 7:09pm On Dec 19, 2021 |
Babsojimjim:Third-party involvement in decisions as far as marriage is concerned should be frowned upon. So rather allow the couple in question properly process the circumstances for themselves and decide on their own, other obviously biased parties sat at judges over their decision? ![]() Well, your friend should learn from this for future. Marriage isn't a prison and there is a reason why it is defined as an agreement to be made between a man and a woman. Gone are the days were the female child submits to the whims of others. Reality has sort of forced us all to consciously carry our own individual weight, leading even women to wake up mentally as individuals souls in their own reality. Negotiate the safety of your child and allow your wife go wherever she chooses. ![]() |
Re: Can I Give Up The Marriage At This Stage..pls Advise Needed by efficiencie(m): 11:28pm On Dec 19, 2021 |
NemoDatQuod: Nonsense! That she is independent does not imply "she can do whatever she wants". That's an irresponsible thing to say and only irresponsible people have dispositions like this. No one can do whatever they want. We have laws, values, norms, customs, traditions, spoken and unspoken rules to ensure that no one does whatever they want to rather they are motivated to act consistently with acceptable standards. If she wedded the said man and made vows then it borders on sheer stupidity to believe she can do whatever she wants to do. If I were the said man I would let her leave, initiate the divorce process, conduct paternity tests on all the children, settle child custody in court and move on. |
Re: Can I Give Up The Marriage At This Stage..pls Advise Needed by NemoDatQuod(m): 12:42am On Dec 20, 2021 |
You should buy some soap and wash your tongue and mouth thoroughly. You're obviously not mature enough to engage in public discourse. Remove the bitterness from your soul so you can be engaged in decent conversation. Words are cheap. Anyone can curse and use foul language that should be alien to decent human beings. The real mark of maturity and adulthood is to disagree and engage respectfully and constructively. You may have good ideas. But it has been lost in the diarrhea from your mouth. I don't engage with the immature. efficiencie: |
Re: Can I Give Up The Marriage At This Stage..pls Advise Needed by vislabraye(m): 4:16am On Dec 20, 2021 |
JovialJune:Why would she go on ahead to marry him if she has disdain for him? All BS. The guy should let her go. |
Re: Can I Give Up The Marriage At This Stage..pls Advise Needed by Babsojimjim: 4:00am On Dec 27, 2021 |
Dear Nairalanders, Now My friends wife have packed most of her belongings and left with the only little daughter,how can my friend take care of his little daughter without the lady using it to exploit my friend financially. Thanks |
Re: Can I Give Up The Marriage At This Stage..pls Advise Needed by Nobody: 7:22am On Dec 27, 2021 |
Babsojimjim:I just hate what I don’t like. Who told you all those reasons she gave are the reasons she left? Why do you think she opted for her school environment instead of her family home? D dancer is not always afar off d drummer. But she sold you a rooster story, to make you take some guilt and blame. Truth be told, the reasons adduced can never be a reason for leaving a marriage. Keep wallowing in self pity, don’t move on you hear! Don’t seize the opportunity to better your life, complain everyday. Keep using your child as an excuse to live in a toxic past, waste away your years while she is already hopping the next man. So common sense did not tell you she only wanted to justify her opting out with these past issues? My 1 cent; let her be already. Go with your family, calmly but firmly demand an annulment of the marriage. Reach an amicable settlement with her concerning payments for the welfare of your child together. Her fees and wellness. You do not owe your wife anymore than that. She has no rights to place financial demands you cannot independently verify. WORK OUT A BUDGET AND STICK TO IT. Na you wan finance her affair. How does this usually play out? The drummer soon gets tired, the dancer soon becomes weary, the situation becomes toxic with time, reality sets in, she realizes you were such a good man, how foolish she was to be led astray. Oh how sorry she is, please for the sake of our child together, please reconsider. Now this is dependent on the measure of self esteem you have left in you. Thank you. ( for your so called friend) |
Re: Can I Give Up The Marriage At This Stage..pls Advise Needed by Babsojimjim: 1:17pm On Dec 27, 2021 |
Thank you Prince Eze |
Re: Can I Give Up The Marriage At This Stage..pls Advise Needed by Babsojimjim: 1:18pm On Dec 27, 2021 |
princeeze1: Thank you Prince Eze |
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