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There Are Still Good days in Marriage. - Family (5) - Nairaland

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Re: There Are Still Good days in Marriage. by BRATISLAVA: 6:03pm On Dec 28, 2021
cayorday89:

The OP talked about how women are been bashed and how many are still there even in tough times and wants people to share experiences of how wome are still faithful as opposed to the thread lamenting of how a man's wife treated him after losing his job. Nothing more. As for men, even without asking majority will still do what is expected of them and even more in marriage and this thread is to encourage men that there are still faithful women who will stay through it all.

Again: is the quality of faithfulness only for women that threads and posts are created to bash women about it every second? Why don't men talk about their own faithfulness and loyalty?

There are good marriages, but the only perspective and criteria you people seem to use in categorizing if a marriage is good or bad is The Woman.

How is it suddenly all about women? They said marriages, not women.


Is the woman the head of the home? Is every relationship solely dependent on women? Why do boys/men always act like a relationship isn't a man and woman combined? Why do they act like it's always only on the woman to carry it on her shoulders like a hunchback? If it's bad, it's the woman's fault. If it's good, it's because she's a good woman. What is the man's usefulness then? When will you acknowledge that men are part of why marriages fail?

It's too myopic.

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Re: There Are Still Good days in Marriage. by Magnoliaa(f): 6:10pm On Dec 28, 2021
BRATISLAVA:
This gal is on fire!

This gal is on fayaaaaaa!

1000 likes.

Volcano, you dey whine me? grin grin grin It's you I want to be like o. I just dey try.

BRATISLAVA:
LMAO.

The way these semi-men post is deranged.

They have concluded, without any proof, that all women aren't intelligent and can't do assignments. Yet they were in the same class. What exactly does that tell us about such a man? If he thinks the women are dumb and they are in the same class, then he must be just as dumb too.

They need an intelligent woman always, because of pointless stereotypes, as if they are intelligent themselves. They actually believe their mothers and mothers of old are intelligent. Aren't those ones unintelligent females too? ;DThe misogyny is making them more stupid than they must already be.

They want women to comment but once there's a thread, the ones on the forest floor eating snakes take over. This forum is a cesspit of low level males. One has to conclude they are all villagers in some horrible place where sense is forbidden. Their background becomes so obvious once they post. Shortly, they will pay some scabies with their filthy feet in the background, asking us what to do about it with their famed intelligence. LMAO.

I just really want to see the end of this. Not that I care or that I want it to be over, but in the next five to ten years? Like, who they'll become would be so enjoyable to see. Especially if they come here to share it.

On the other hand, I don't want to be a jury and would attribute all these to juvenile stuff they'll outgrow. Some kids do really crazier stuff and then went on to be good individuals. But then not everyone will turn out alright. Overriding a configuration/brainwash no be beans o. If they like, they should not be alright.

3 Likes

Re: There Are Still Good days in Marriage. by CHoccolaTE: 6:11pm On Dec 28, 2021
BRATISLAVA:


Why can't you people ever talk about men staying true to their wives? Or are faithfulness, perseverance and loyalty only qualities for women? Is it that you people revel in sufferings of women as a test of character, while you never give such in return?

Why must Nigerian women suffer to prove they are good enough to Nigerian men? There's a problem with Nigerian men. This over-flogged looking for who is there in the hard times only is becoming boring. As if women were built to suffer and take all manner of things from men who can't do the same.


Exactly. You put it so eloquently.

And the small boys on the thread are still coming out to blame failure of marriages on wives inabiility to bear difficult times as if marriage is not a union of two people. As if the success of every marriage is 100% dependent on the woman's ability to overcome trials.

What about the man? The so called superior and leader?

Such annoying mentality these people have and they dont have enough sense to see that their reasoning is problematic.

5 Likes

Re: There Are Still Good days in Marriage. by finishmatter: 6:17pm On Dec 28, 2021
WOMEN are INCAPABLE of Love.
They are intrinsically selfish.
Marry them at your peril

3 Likes

Re: There Are Still Good days in Marriage. by Magnoliaa(f): 6:18pm On Dec 28, 2021
BRATISLAVA:


Again: is the quality of faithfulness only for women that threads and posts are created to bash women about it every second? Why don't men talk about their own faithfulness and loyalty?

There are good marriages, but the only perspective and criteria you people seem to use in categorizing if a marriage is good or bad is The Woman.

How is it suddenly all about women? They said marriages, not women.


Is the woman the head of the home? Is every relationship solely dependent on women? Why do boys/men always act like a relationship isn't a man and woman combined? Why do they act like it's always only on the woman to carry it on her shoulders like a hunchback? If it's bad, it's the woman's fault. If it's good, it's because she's a good woman. What is the man's usefulness then? When will you acknowledge that men are part of why marriages fail?

It's too myopic.

They unwittingly and subconsciously attribute the success of a marriage to a woman's goodness or badness, yet claim women don't bring nothing to their tables and are passive partners.

5 Likes

Re: There Are Still Good days in Marriage. by BRATISLAVA: 6:20pm On Dec 28, 2021
Magnoliaa:


They unwittingly and subconsciously attribute the success of a marriage to a woman's goodness or badness, yet claim women don't bring nothing to their tables and are passive partners.

Their case is a strange one borne of hate for women. They don't want to accord them their due/worth, but they are quick to elevate them to having immense powers over marriage so that they can sit back and do nothing but point at her for their failures and inadequacies. It's deliberate.

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Re: There Are Still Good days in Marriage. by BRATISLAVA: 6:25pm On Dec 28, 2021
CHoccolaTE:


Exactly. You put it so eloquently.

And the small boys on the thread are still coming out to blame failure of marriages on wives inabiility to bear difficult times as if marriage is not a union of two people. As if the success of every marriage is 100% dependent on the woman's ability to overcome trials.

What about the man? The so called superior and leader?

Such annoying mentality these people have and they dont have enough sense to see that their reasoning is problematic.

It seems their game is pin it on the woman.

They hate women, women are unintelligent, contribute nothing, lazy creatures, only bring sex; but once anything happens in a relationship, it is the same women who would've gained supernatural powers of manipulation to be behind it so that they can blame one.

Man cheats on wife: wife caused it.
Man beats wife: wife caused it.
Man has bad relationship with children: she manipulated them, though women aren't intelligent
Man dies: wife did it.
Man kills woman: wife caused it.
Man dies in action in prostitute: wife done it!

7 Likes 1 Share

Re: There Are Still Good days in Marriage. by Magnoliaa(f): 6:28pm On Dec 28, 2021
BRATISLAVA:

Their case is a strange one borne of hate for women. They don't want to accord them their due/worth, but they are quick to elevate them to having immense powers over marriage so that they can sit back and do nothing but point at her for their failures and inadequacies. It's deliberate.

Lol... 'women are powerful and control men in marriages with bottom powers'. Ehnn, oya, let's elect women leaders. 'Noooo. Women are powerless outside the home.' Lmao.

3 Likes

Re: There Are Still Good days in Marriage. by Kobojunkie: 6:30pm On Dec 28, 2021
BKayy:
From what I've read about marriages on this forum, it is safe to say that most Nairaland married folks (more than 95%) are in terrible, bitter and toxic marriages.

Well no pity from me by the way. I don't feel sorry for matured people that used their hands to dig their graves. You can't tell me that as an adult, you didn't see signs before taking or being taken by a toxic fellow.
"Matured" folks don't dig their own graves. It is the immature that engage in such foolishness. undecided

1 Like

Re: There Are Still Good days in Marriage. by BRATISLAVA: 6:34pm On Dec 28, 2021
Magnoliaa:


Volcano, you dey whine me? grin grin grin It's you I want to be like o. I just dey try.

LMAO. You're the lava in the room. I mean it. grin grin Can't you see how we ran for cover once you erupted that teeny eruption?



I just really want to see the end of this. Not that I care or that I want it to be over, but in the next five to ten years? Like, who they'll become would be so enjoyable to see. Especially if they come here to share it.

I recently saw the post of a younger man I know, and he was spilling this same nonsense we read here. That's when I realized that they could actually be brainwashing themselves offline.

On the other hand, I don't want to be a jury and would attribute all these to juvenile stuff they'll outgrow. Some kids do really crazier stuff and then went on to be good individuals. But then not everyone will turn out alright. Overriding a configuration/brainwash no be beans o. If they like, they should not be alright.

It's posterity that will judge them; and their wives and children. Because those are the people that will live with their pathetic choices.

Re: There Are Still Good days in Marriage. by BRATISLAVA: 6:35pm On Dec 28, 2021
Magnoliaa:


Lol... 'women are powerful and control men in marriages with bottom powers'. Ehnn, oya, let's elect women leaders. 'Noooo. Women are powerless outside the home.' Lmao.

And they say they are intelligent grin grin grin

Kudos to normal men out there. The foolishness cum toxicity here is second to none.

2 Likes

Re: There Are Still Good days in Marriage. by jarmy: 6:43pm On Dec 28, 2021
If you don't want to live a miserable life don't rely on your partner rely on God. Marriage is unstable. You never can tell when things will go south. Believe it or leave it marriage is faced with stiff challenges.

The challenges of today are far greater than those of yesterday.

Please, young singles should listen to the advice of married couples.
Re: There Are Still Good days in Marriage. by Teejaney88(m): 7:15pm On Dec 28, 2021
It is common knowledge that our grandmother's and some of our mothers stood by our parents through thick and thin but ladies of nowadays are leaving nothing to be desired....
Re: There Are Still Good days in Marriage. by cassidy1996(m): 9:00pm On Dec 28, 2021
Paramount01:


Bros!!! Pls be sincere did she still respect you?she is from which tribe
Honestly, I am planing to settle down next year,but am sacred, not the girl I am with presently us bad but am scared because she might change in the nearest future..
she respects me. when it comes to settling down, just follow your heart and most importantly pray to GOD.
Re: There Are Still Good days in Marriage. by Hkff: 9:51pm On Dec 28, 2021
How
Re: There Are Still Good days in Marriage. by Timoleon(m): 10:27pm On Dec 28, 2021
Marriage good marriage good yet you see divorce courts getting filled everyday. undecided


Many many were wa nile zeh!
tuoyoojo:
Marriage bad, marriage bad

Yet u see people marrying every Saturday

Let me ask you, what makes breaking news most times , nor be bad news?

I have been married for close to 5 years, my only regret is that I didn't marry earlier

Marriage to the right person is sweet, let nobody deceive you

My advice is , there is not one formula that works in marriage. Create ur own niche. What I can take from madam, you can never tolerate and vice versa

My mother told me one thing, she said if you want a woman to respect you, love her( most men read love from a woman as respect, most women read respect from a man as love, God know why him say husbands love your wife, and wife respect your husband)

She said provide for home, don't neglect ur responsibilities

Marry a woman who is teachable and compatible with you

Marry your friend, someone's you can relate and gist with at all levels and someone who believes in many of the things you believe in

Never be too proud to say you are sorry not necessarily because you think you are right but for the fact you love peace in your home
Avoid malice. Don't go to bed with an unresolved issue.


Marry a praying spouse. Put God first. Nothing sweet pass make ur spouse genuinely want the best for you


Chairmen and women, the thing plenty.


But nor forget na bad news dey sell.

Nor reason all the things wen u dey hear for NL

Re: There Are Still Good days in Marriage. by Hathor5(f): 10:29pm On Dec 28, 2021
BKayy:
From what I've read about marriages on this forum, it is safe to say that most Nairaland married folks (more than 95%) are in terrible, bitter and toxic marriages.

Well no pity from me by the way. I don't feel sorry for matured people that used their hands to dig their graves. You can't tell me that as an adult, you didn't see signs before taking or being taken by a toxic fellow.

95% of married people on Nairaland have been posting stories about their marriage?

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Re: There Are Still Good days in Marriage. by writeprof(m): 10:47pm On Dec 28, 2021
firstbornson:
Some years ago while my father was still in the Civil Service commission, I remember a particular incident that led to his temporal suspension from the office. Someone framed him and all that. I won't bother you about the details. However, this incident took over 8 months before it was resolved. Prior to this time, we lived a very comfortable life.

What my mom did in the light of this situation is what I won't forget in a hurry.

We mom started selling cold "pure" water and drinks.

We went back to the farm, planting yam and cassava and the rest.

All these coupled with some money my father had saved kept us all.

We didn't stop school.

My mom didn't create a scene that will bring elders from the village to "settle" issue.

My mom stood by my father.

Proverbs 31 wife and mother- a wise woman builds her home. She is enjoying now I believe!

1 Like

Re: There Are Still Good days in Marriage. by Narnah(f): 11:29pm On Dec 28, 2021
Sorry about his loss. May God comfort you and your family on all sides.

Miarose:
Maybe we should talk about our fathers too. Mine was called archbishop because his colleagues know he will not cut corners or run deals. We all know daddy will horn by 6pm every blessed day. Stoic and disciplined.. No time for shenanigans.. My mother died in 1992 and he refused to remarry cos he didnt want his young kids to be maltreated. If he had a girlfriend, we had no whiff of her, you could bet on his routine and whereabouts daily. No alcohol, drinking, womanising, raunchiness, lewdness, greed. He refused to get a chieftaincy title but is called Ezeudo because he coordinates the new year reconciliation meeting and charity events.
He died yesterday, rest in peace Archbishop.

As for today, the men of today.. They have a lot to struggle with....good character is no longer attractive.... Majority of them are graduated cultists.. Peer influence is largely negative...greed for women, power, money is their driving force.. I do feel pity for them, most are lost and confused, especially those that are products of good home training.
But in life, every man must walk his path based on HIS decisions. Your errors are on you alone..
MAN KNOW THYSELF...



1 Like

Re: There Are Still Good days in Marriage. by kushme: 1:42am On Dec 29, 2021
[quote author=Miarose post=108881095]Maybe we should talk about our fathers too. Mine was called archbishop because his colleagues know he will not cut corners or run deals. We all know daddy will horn by 6pm every blessed day. Stoic and disciplined.. No time for shenanigans.. My mother died in 1992 and he refused to remarry cos he didnt want his young kids to be maltreated. If he had a girlfriend, we had no whiff of her, you could bet on his routine and whereabouts daily. No alcohol, drinking, womanising, raunchiness, lewdness, greed. He refused to get a chieftaincy title but is called Ezeudo because he coordinates the new year reconciliation meeting and charity events.
He died yesterday, rest in peace Archbishop.

As for today, the men of today.. They have a lot to struggle with... good character is no longer attractive.... Majority of them are graduated cultists.. Peer influence is largely negative...greed for women, power, money is their driving force.. I do feel pity for them, most are lost and confused, especially those that are products of good home training.
But in life, every man must walk his path based on HIS decisions. Your errors are on you alone..
MAN KNOW THYSELF...



[/quote
Sorry for your loss sir

Respect and rest in peace Archbishop.

Archbishop was a futuristic man.Unlike some thirsty men who would have compromised the love and care of the kids over a mere pvssy all the name of a wife(step mother).

1 Like

Re: There Are Still Good days in Marriage. by Nezzjnr: 6:53am On Dec 29, 2021
Not surprised that this Thread hasn't surpassed the 5th page cheesy cheesy.

People just want to read the negative side about everything.

3 Likes 1 Share

Re: There Are Still Good days in Marriage. by firstbornson(m): 11:33am On Dec 29, 2021
writeprof:


Proverbs 31 wife and mother- a wise woman builds her home. She is enjoying now I believe!

Yes o.

We now live in our own house, a 4-bedroom duplex with one well furnished Visitor's room and a Master bedroom for my parents. Though my dad is retired, his pension and her salary is keeping them afloat.

Just yesterday, she was paying some ladies that comes to clean the entire house every month and wash the curtains. This is a luxury we could not afford before now.

1 Like

Re: There Are Still Good days in Marriage. by BluntCrazeMan: 11:36am On Dec 29, 2021
firstbornson:
Just saw a trend about a man telling us of the kind of gut his wife has.

I will be brief.

I've noticed countless times how marriage is bashed on this platform. If there are 10 topics about marriage, 8 will be a complain of what one spouse did to another.

What we don't understand is that we are being subconsciously socially engineered to hate, fear, and dread marriage. Too much bad news everywhere.

The kind of stories I read here, me self don dey fear marriage.

Yet, I'm from a complete family. My parents have being married for 26 years and they are still together. I'm not saying it's been blissful all through, but they are still a team, gist mates, yab mates, etc.

What I want us to do is simple:

Share a story of when your mom stood by your dad, when your wife stood by you or when your husband stood by you during a difficult time.

I won't be surprised if this doesn't make it the FP because people love reading bad news too much.
Smooth Marriages are Just so smooth.
There is no need sharing anything about them.
That's why we don't get to read about them so often.

1 Like

Re: There Are Still Good days in Marriage. by Elporo(m): 11:51am On Dec 29, 2021
A thread for wrecked ships!
Re: There Are Still Good days in Marriage. by Lovebliss2(f): 12:02pm On Dec 29, 2021
Ryda:
Little disputes should be settled amongst couples.
No be every clothing them dey hang outside

Exactly.
Most men now have running mouth like tap.
They talk to anyone, anywhere and bad-mouth their partners, instead of working on getting better and making the marriage work.
Especially mummy's boys!
Re: There Are Still Good days in Marriage. by yuping(m): 12:30pm On Dec 29, 2021
Magnoliaa:

So many questions but the truth is I don't intend to hurt you or anyone but I think you are taking it personal.
And I don't bash anyone, not me I don't do that.
Re: There Are Still Good days in Marriage. by cooooooks(m): 1:54pm On Dec 29, 2021
*you're
KiNg0G:

my son becareful, your still immature to understand the words of elders.

1 Like

Re: There Are Still Good days in Marriage. by cooooooks(m): 1:55pm On Dec 29, 2021
20 year olds, think about marriage now o Biko.

Don't wait until you're 40 before you can answer "What does marriage mean to me".

KiNg0G:
If your in your early 20, marriage issue nor supposed consign you.

My pickin start to reason how to plan your life first

1 Like

Re: There Are Still Good days in Marriage. by firstbornson(m): 3:37pm On Dec 29, 2021
BluntCrazeMan:
Smooth Marriages are Just so smooth.
There is no need sharing anything about them.
That's why we don't get to read about them so often.

There's need to share about them. People should fantasize about them too.

What you think, you attract.
Re: There Are Still Good days in Marriage. by Magnoliaa(f): 3:51pm On Dec 29, 2021
yuping:
...

Lolzzzzzzzzz. Firstly, lemme be entertained by you and agree that I'm taking this personal. Yeah? Who made it personal? As a female Nairaland user, you've gone personal when you called me lazy, negligent, and whatnot based on what other men say. That other women choose to ignore what you said doesn't still mean it's not cap you're saying.

You made claims you couldn't back. You called women all sort of names and ... yet, you say the women are in the wrong.

This is a forum for discussion, and with you, I've not gone beyond the bounds of that. You can think what you want.

You read from other men, you picked what they say, you vomited it, and mee that I'm trying to engage you in stuff you've said is the hurt one or the ITK or being OTT?

grin If you never wanted to be engaged or challenged, you wouldn't put your thoughts our here, especially about women. And more glaring is the fact that you've refused to admit that you've had a bad experience at the hands of women. Why would you say things you cannot defend?? Why??

I don't care for what you think or how you are online ... I am simply concerned about your comment on this topic. That's all I've been dealing with and I'm still dealing with. And so far, all that can concluded is ... you simply wrote what you wrote without an atom of truth. So you yourself are contributing to the denigration, and insult and bashing, etc., of women. Because you can't prove it. Now, imagine that there are tens of thousands of men saying the same thing you just did here. You read and believed from other men without proofs, now another impressionable young man would have read from you and believed what you said.

Meanwhile, you have no backings, reference or WHATEVER as the basis for what you're saying. undecided

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