We have been married for 3 years now. We stay in a self contained apartment. He tries as much as possible to pay his bills while I support him too with paying the bills.

Since we married, anytime I talk about childbearing he gets angry. Like he may not talk to me for days. I will be the one to come and beg him later. He says his not ready to start bearing kids that he wants to have enough money to take care of the kids. He says he doesnt want his children to suffer.

I am so pissed off, I am 32 now and he is 35 and he earns 100k while I earn 70k. Is that not enough to raise a family. Plus age is not on my side he doesnt look like he will be ready in a year time again. Am already getting tired and people around me are getting married. No body can even talk to him. His mind is made up already.

The last fight we had he said i can go and divorce him if i cannot wait till he is ready. He is busy reading for professional exam instead of him to be thinking of how to produce seed. Professional exam that will last another 2 years. His family can't even talk to him. Am just frustrated already.

I like your husband already.

Did you two not discuss about it before you got married to him?

I so much like your husband. A very sensible man; you want to bring children into the world without proper planning on how to cater for them.

He has asked for patience for you guys to sort things out first. Madam better be calming down. By the way, you married a very focused and responsible man.

I do not understand what you mean that age is not on your side at 32. Please don't plunge this young man into 3rd level generational poverty (his parents got nada & his grandparents were peasant) rather divorce him quickly and marry a man who is ready to be popping children year in year out. Pity his ancestors as this young man out of the millions that we have has taken a better route instead of ritualism called Yahoo or scam that will still end of messing his later years up or cut down his life in it's prime or mortgage his children fortune.

NB: Do we even wonder why the Babalawo or Dibia that does juju or fetish rituals for Yahoo boys does not do likewise for his own children or himself. The answer is flowing in the wind.

Imagine! Oyinbo capitalist mentality. He never knows that the kids will definitely come with their own blessings. And who promises or guarantees him tomorrow?
He may have to raise the kids in his old age.

All these things should have been discussed before marriage..

Still try talking to his parents..

Beblessedbaba:
I so much like your husband. A very sensible man; you want to bring Children into the world with planning how to cater for them.

He has asked for Patience for you guys to sort things out first. Madam better be calming down. By the way, you married a very focused and responsible man.

Swears down: very focused dude.

Kolawole2130:
We have been married for 3 years now. We stay in a self contained apartment he tries as much as possible to pay his bills while i support him too with paying the bills. Since we married anytime i talk about childbearing he gets angry. Like he may not talk to me for days i will be the one to come and beg him later. He says his not ready to start bearing kids that he wants to be have enough money to take care of the kids. He says he doesnt want his children to suffer.
Am so pissed off am 32 now his 35 and he earns 100k while i earn 70k is that not enough to raise a family. Plus age is not on my side he doesnt look like he will be ready in a year time again. Am already getting tired and people around me are getting married. No body can even talk to him his mind is made up already. The last fight we had he said i can go and divorce him if i cannot wait till his ready. His busy reading for professional exam instead of him to be thinking of how to produce seed. Professiknal exam that will last another 2 years. His family cant even talk to him. Am just frustrated already.

You haven't married ooo

Be on look out.

Meanwhile, are you not having sex? What happens to several sex you had in the past?

I guess ur man is sterile and dnt want you to know about it.

My candid advise, report him to his people and threatening him for divorce if he refuses to follow u for medical check up.

Ur time is ticking second by second and closer to menopause.

Kolawole2130:
We have been married for 3 years now. We stay in a self contained apartment he tries as much as possible to pay his bills while i support him too with paying the bills. Since we married anytime i talk about childbearing he gets angry. Like he may not talk to me for days i will be the one to come and beg him later. He says his not ready to start bearing kids that he wants to be have enough money to take care of the kids. He says he doesnt want his children to suffer.
Am so pissed off am 32 now his 35 and he earns 100k while i earn 70k is that not enough to raise a family. Plus age is not on my side he doesnt look like he will be ready in a year time again. Am already getting tired and people around me are getting married. No body can even talk to him his mind is made up already. The last fight we had he said i can go and divorce him if i cannot wait till his ready. His busy reading for professional exam instead of him to be thinking of how to produce seed. Professiknal exam that will last another 2 years. His family cant even talk to him. Am just frustrated already.

you have a narrow minded view on the issue because you are focussing on the wrong things.... aka your desperate bodyclock etc
your man tells you he aint ready...so you can either WAIT with him or go find a man who has the same views as you...but dont try to change a man..

Na only God go help you and your husband.

amnesty7:
Imagine! Oyinbo capitalist mentality. He never knows that the kids will definitely come with their blessings. And who promises or guarantees him tomorrow?

kids comes with blessings, how? But most Families prefer having 4 maximum children ( blessings) to having 100 children (blessings).

MrBrownJay1:


you have a narrow minded view on the issue because you are focussing on the wrong things.... aka your desperate bodyclock etc
your man tells you he aint ready...so you can either WAIT with him or go find a man who has the same views as you...but dont try to change a man..

I fear who no fear you!

If she is ur daughter at 32 and married for 3 years , would you be comfortable with it?

If such girl left him b4 marriage and went for guy that ready for kids, you would be the first person to blame all ladies that they are useless.

Pinch urself with needle before pinching others OK.

A lot of terrible advise on this thread, this is a 32 year old woman and it is perfectly within her right to demand for pregnancy. What a selfish and wicked being.
It is unfortunate that OP is in this terrible situation, did you not discuss about this before getting married ?
What exactly were you guys discussing during your courtship ?

First question First, Can Oga's engine START? When it starts, can it MOVE (produce)?
Secondly, those comments up saying Oga is focused & responsible is very very wrong!!!
There is nothing wrong with having 1 child in a room self contain then she gets a family planning done to wait for when they are mentally, physically and financially ready to welcome another baby. Majority of us, our parents started from a room self contain or room & parlor and increased on every sides from their small room. No be the small room my mama and papa born me dem still dey today.
She said she earns 70k & husband earns 100k, all they need to do is plan their finances properly. Sis, you and your husband should go for counseling ASAP! That will fix it except if there's something Oga is hidding from you, oh yes I have seen a situation like this, Oga & his family knew something except the wife & her family. That was what prompt my first question up.
It is the joy of every woman who is legally married to have children of their own, no man should deprieve his wife of this right!!!

And please, every intending couple should always discuss & agree on discussions like this before marriage hence the purpose of Premarital classes in our churches today.


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Kolawole2130:
We have been married for 3 years now. We stay in a self contained apartment he tries as much as possible to pay his bills while i support him too with paying the bills. Since we married anytime i talk about childbearing he gets angry. Like he may not talk to me for days i will be the one to come and beg him later. He says his not ready to start bearing kids that he wants to be have enough money to take care of the kids. He says he doesnt want his children to suffer.
Am so pissed off am 32 now his 35 and he earns 100k while i earn 70k is that not enough to raise a family. Plus age is not on my side he doesnt look like he will be ready in a year time again. Am already getting tired and people around me are getting married. No body can even talk to him his mind is made up already. The last fight we had he said i can go and divorce him if i cannot wait till his ready. His busy reading for professional exam instead of him to be thinking of how to produce seed. Professiknal exam that will last another 2 years. His family cant even talk to him. Am just frustrated already.

Your income is enough take care of a child.
It may not be easy.....but you will cope.
Please continue to support him as he strives to get his Professional Certification......very key.

Besides, are you on contraceptive? If you not any contraceptive...baby will come except you are in a no sex relationship.

Your husband is deceiving, defrauding and emotionally manipulating you.
Shine your eyes and refused to be deceived.
I will not be surprised if he already has some kids stashed up somewhere.

Also, pay no attention to those deceivers up there.
They're enemies of marriage.
What if when he's finally ready, you find it difficult to conceive, what then?

There's nothing wrong with having even one child right now. He should be considerate.
If he's so focused why didn't he wait to make it before getting married or did you force him into marrying you?

I just feel this is not natural... there's something he's not telling you.

I feel like you and your husband should have married partners who are interested in the same things that you are. Like he wants to wait, he should have found a woman willing to wait with him.
Since he’s not here and no one can talk to him according to you, what other advice can anyone give you except to either wait with him or divorce him?

RiyadhGoddess:
First question First, Can Oga's engine START? When it starts, can it MOVE (produce)?
Secondly, those comments up saying Oga is focused & responsible is very very wrong!!!
There is nothing wrong with having 1 child in a room self contain then she gets a family planning done to wait for when they are mentally, physically and financially ready to welcome another baby. Majority of us, our parents started from a room self contain or room & parlor and increased on every sides from their small room. No be the small room my mama and papa born me dem still dey today.
She said she earns 70k & husband earns 100k, all they need to do is plan their finances properly. Sis, you and your husband should go for counseling ASAP! That will fix it except if there's something Oga is hidding from you, oh yes I have seen a situation like this, Oga & his family knew something except the wife & her family. That was what prompt my first question up.
It is the joy of every woman who is legally married to have children of their own, no man should deprieve his wife of this right!!!

And please, every intending couple should always discuss & agree on discussions like this before marriage hence the purpose of Premarital classes in our churches today.


Already preparing for next year 2022? Let's help you with your social media content calender for 2022 & if your business isn't online yet, DM me to get started!

counseling for what, and which of her right is reprieve,he said she can go for divorce if she is tired of staying!

you earn 70k.. and you are not working on how to improve on yourself to earn more.. no desire to live a better life... your only desire is to be pooping children out abi...

Aunty u are the one frustrating yourself


It's obvious that majority of the people quoting me with hate responses are our ladies...


You ladies should think of relieving responsibilities not heaping it on us...

Wow! What did you guys discuss before marriage? Did the topic of kids never came up? Hmmmm....see this life, you married a man obviously still struggling like a singleton and you expected his mind to be ready like a family man....what was the haste with this particular guy biko? He wasnt obviously materially, financially and emotionally ready for marriage. Whew! Anyways, you really dont need him to determine when to get pregnant if you really want a baby....the shot is mostly yours. After the fact, you can then have a convo....abi he is keeping his peepee away from you?

funshint:
I just feel this is not natural... there's something he's not telling you.

Exactly, I hope she isn't dealing with an impotent man because when push comes to shove, his family and world people will put the blame on her as the barren one.

Nothing wrong in having a child while he waits till he can afford to take care of more.

These are issues you guys should have discussed and sorted out first before jumping into marriage.
This is what happens when you aren't on same page... frustrations!
I can only wish you the best in handling your frustrations.

Black man, black mentality: children will bring blessings and other rhetorics that you folks will use to defend poverty.

Where did the Op complain that the man is not performing? Where?

If they have kids now and that man cannot meet up to his responsibilities, this same Op will give him hell. No be una again.

Kolawole2130 if you can't stand the heat, leave the kitchen.

The husband is not ok atal, even couples who don't have any stable source of income have at least one child or two so why would you guys that earn close to #200k monthly won't have any even if it's just one besides age isn't on the wife's side much.

He is selfish and inconsiderate.

Raalsalghul:
Black man, black mentality: children will bring blessings and other rhetorics that you folks will use to defend poverty.

Where did the Op complain that the man is not performing? Where?

If they have kids now and that man cannot meet up to his responsibilities, this same Op will give him hell. No be una again.

Kolawole2130 if you can't stand the heat, leave the kitchen.

I also don't subscribe to that rubbish "children brings blessing" bullshit but the couples earn close to #200k monthly na and raising one child (just one) for now won't be so difficult for them to do.

Also remember age is no longer on the wife's side much again.

170k can start a small family while hopeful for better things to come. If your husband is not ready for children, he shouldn't have married in the first place. He is frustrating the young gal.

Kolawole2130:
We have been married for 3 years now. We stay in a self contained apartment he tries as much as possible to pay his bills while i support him too with paying the bills. Since we married anytime i talk about childbearing he gets angry. Like he may not talk to me for days i will be the one to come and beg him later. He says his not ready to start bearing kids that he wants to be have enough money to take care of the kids. He says he doesnt want his children to suffer.
Am so pissed off am 32 now his 35 and he earns 100k while i earn 70k is that not enough to raise a family. Plus age is not on my side he doesnt look like he will be ready in a year time again. Am already getting tired and people around me are getting married. No body can even talk to him his mind is made up already. The last fight we had he said i can go and divorce him if i cannot wait till his ready. His busy reading for professional exam instead of him to be thinking of how to produce seed. Professiknal exam that will last another 2 years. His family cant even talk to him. Am just frustrated already.

What can i say? u will need to keep talking to him while u wait for him.
However, kindly reach out to ur pst or imam for proper counselling

Kolawole2130:
We have been married for 3 years now. We stay in a self contained apartment he tries as much as possible to pay his bills while i support him too with paying the bills. Since we married anytime i talk about childbearing he gets angry. Like he may not talk to me for days i will be the one to come and beg him later. He says his not ready to start bearing kids that he wants to be have enough money to take care of the kids. He says he doesnt want his children to suffer.
Am so pissed off am 32 now his 35 and he earns 100k while i earn 70k is that not enough to raise a family. Plus age is not on my side he doesnt look like he will be ready in a year time again. Am already getting tired and people around me are getting married. No body can even talk to him his mind is made up already. The last fight we had he said i can go and divorce him if i cannot wait till his ready. His busy reading for professional exam instead of him to be thinking of how to produce seed. Professiknal exam that will last another 2 years. His family cant even talk to him. Am just frustrated already.

Well, i know that intending couples take it for granted that they would soon begin to have babies immediately after marriage.
Seem like the both of you didn't discuss this first, correct?

Since you can't have a child without his cooperation, and understandably, your biological clock is ticking....what do you want online denizens to do for you?

Decide right now which is more important to you: having a baby/babies or living in a happy marriage with your spouse.
You said he is rigid and no one can seem to change his mind. So, don't let the frustration ruin your life.
Treat your hubby like a king. Stop complaining about getting pregnant. Look for his mumu button and press it till he is eager to shag you like the world is about to end.
Do this without getting anxious. Live each day at a time...
He'd be the one who would be eager for you to have a baby, before you know it.
Strong willed guys can't be won over by complaining and insisting on having your way.

The two of you should have discussed this and had an agreement before getting into marriage.Were you forced ?
3 yrs in marriage and at 32 yrs,you have every right to be apprehensive.The truth is the biological clock ticks.What if when you decide to have the baby,you start to TTC?

If I could speak to you both,I'll say have a baby now and go on family planning till much later for another one.

If you have an elder who he respects,you can ask him to intervene.

Fiscus105:



You haven't married ooo

Be on look out

Meanwhile, are you not having sex? What happens to several sex you had in the past?

I guess ur man is sterile and dnt want you to know about it.

My candid advise, report him to his people and threatening him for divorce if he refuses to follow u for medical check up.

Ur time is ticking second by second and closer to menopause.

You have hit the nail on the head. the best advise for her.