While others are celebrating the new year today I am here sobbing because my marriage is at the verge of breaking.

I loved my wife with all my heart but I don't think I will ever forgive her for what she has done to my mother.

I am the only child of my mother. I have three sisters on my father's side.
I am married with two beautiful daughters. my mother suffered from diabetes, bp and high cholesterol. She is on a special diets strictly no salt or too much sugar.

She came to stay with me because the person who was taking care of her wasn't doing her job properly so I had to bring her to my house so I will be monitoring her health.

I have a house help who prepares all her meals with less salt and she also makes sure she takes her medicines on time without fail.
Everything was fine, my mother is not a troublesome person, she gets on well with my wife and most of the time she is in her room resting.

On the 20th of December my house help had traveled to the village to see her people and she will be back in January 4th so my wife and I have to take care of my mother making sure that her foods is less salty and medicines on time.

Since I am always working so my wife had to take most of the responsibility. It is only for a week and fews days until the house help is back.

She had agreed to take care of my mother during this periods of time and I thought everything was fine but I noticed my mother become distant and tired unlike her and I had no idea that she was actually dying and I have never suspected that my wife was maltreating her.

So Thursday being 30th December I was at work when my wife called and asked me to join her at the hospital because mama had a seizure.

I rushed to the hospital and my mother was in a coma state and I asked her what happened to mama, she said mama woke up that morning complaining about shortage of breath and she told her to go back to bed and rest hoping she will be fine by the time she will wake up.
Only for mama to fall off the ground and started shaking with foam coming out of her mouth.

I was in panicked I couldn't stop praying for my mother to get better and I didn't leave the hospital, my wife went home to take care of the children because she has left them with the neighbour and I had spend all night prayer vigil at my mother's bedside and glory be to God my mother woke up yesterday being 31st but the doctor report was not a good news for me.

Actually my mother was poisoned with salt and guess who did it? My beloved wife couldn't bothered to cook a different meal for my mother, she used to feed her the same meal we ate knowing full well that mama cannot eat the same foods as us because we are salt lovers, especially my wife, she love eating too much salt which I have warned her over and over again because it is also not good for her health.

I confronted her, she said she only fed mama the same meals we ate twice only but according to the doctor it was more than two times.

I am hurt that my wife doesnt love my mother or treat her like her own mother because if she truly loved her like her own mother she would have put her diet on consideration and not allow her to eat the same meal as us. I love her mother and u treat her like my own mother.

It pains me a lot when I remember five years ago when her mother was in coma state and she was staying with her at the hospital, she is her only daughter amongst three boys.

I used to visit them everyday after work, I will bring foods and I have even washed her mother clothes with my own hands, I have done with love because she is my mother. I called my mother in law this morning and I have informed her about what her daughter has done to my mother and she couldn't stop apologising and she is very disappointed with my wife.

But see how she has repaid me by hurting my own mother.

She has apologised to me and to my mother, I have forgave her but I don't think I can stay with her again because one day if I become sick or bedridden she might treat me the same way.

Honestly speaking I am not even at home with her and the kids, I am at my cousin brother's house since yesterday I left the hospital and my mother is still in the hospital because she needs more treatment and hopefully she will recover by next week.

I don't feel like going home today and I don't know when I'll go home but I will always be there for my girls because they are the best thing that ever happened to me.

What other advice would you give me on this situation? What are your thoughts? Thank you for reading all I love this community.

Whatever a man sow he will reap, just leave her in the hands of GOD.

You haven't forgiven her, if at all you have you wouldn't be here posting this.
The only problem I saw here was lack of proper education from your wife.
Now sir, reason this: if she actually knew feeding her salt will lead to this; would she have fed her?
She was only careless and didn't take her diabetes serious.
She acknowledged her mistake and she had apologized already. I know this trying time is enough to pass blame, but blaming her wouldn't make the matter better or worse.

It was a silly mistake, even doctors makes mistakes, you too make mistakes, she had learnt. Go back to your house and clear it from your chest and celebrate the new year with your family.
Happy New year

Modified:
For those quoting me
For those saying it was intentional, you need to have sense. This isn't Nollywood movie it is real life.
The wife was only lazy and took her sickness for granted. This is the most logical explanation. It is still thesame reason why you poison yourselves taking alcohol, soft drinks, and food rich in oil and fats, though you are conscious of this fact this things are not good for you yet you take them, this is because you are not taking your health serious and you haven't seen with your eyes the implications what this things can cause.
The woman was conscious of the fact this things are not good, but she took it lightly because she haven't seen in first hand the implications.
I myself haven't seen first hand the implications of diabetics. I would have made same mistake due to laziness.

Modified: I heard the mama died OP take heart. Your wife was just foolish and that foolishness led to the costly mistake that was paid with a human life. Such is life, you have every right to be angry but madam did not kill your mother intentionally. Life goes on, I wish you would forgive her one day. Just note it can happen to anybody

Op, This is a very serious matter.

I honestly don't think your wife deliberately intended to poison your mother.

I believe it was just laziness on her part to Cook separate meals.

Modified: Wow mama later died? Chai Op take heart. God save us all from making life threatening mistakes o,

Painful Lesson learnt: difference between life and death is just one mistake away.

Please forgive your wife and let go. I'm sure that's what Mama herself will want. When mama is well, please supervise all she eats personally, she will not die in Jesus name.

pls sorry to ask o

where una dey jam all these women u pple keep reporting to us here on nairaland?




Everyday,one strange story or the other.

Now back to d issue...e dey pain o,this thing ur wife do..e dey sabi pain especially when such love isn’t reciprocated. Well, just move on and observe and monitor mamas health even more. I think what has happened is a wake up knock that we all don’t have same heart,honestly! Pls pray d maid returns home safely to continue from where she stopped. I also hope the maid is well taken care of...also make her see ur mom as her own by taking real care of her. She should be able to relate to u as well as an elder brother...daily,on moms health progress. We don’t wanna read about another ‘igbinedion and maid’ tragic story.

Good luck!


Mod: Mama finally succumbed to the cold hands of death...according to OP.

RIP Mama

....Well. She has asked for forgiveness.
Please try and forgive her.

Like I used to say. I TRUST PEOPLE BUT WHAT I DONT TRUST IS THE DEVIL INSIDE THEM.

Be more careful and vigilant bro.

Modified. Op. threw the wicked murderer out your home ASAP.She intesionally killed your mum and you will be the next.

And errhmmm...Seun pls viewer's discretion when putting up adverts like this. I cant have this snake staring at me on every thread i open.

Before you conclude on your next line of action, please try have a good talk to understand why. There's a possibility she believed that the level of salt wouldn't have any effect since it was just a few days. She could have been naive and not mean harm.

In as much as I understood your pain..
I believe you have to not allow it to define your relationship..
Your wife may have erred...
But I doubt it was a malicious intent..
It's not easy to forgive..
But you will have to find it in your heart..
To forgive and move on..

My brother is so pathetic when a man go out of his way to please his family above all odds, sacrificing so much to see the family comfortable and in return the reverse is the case.
Please go back home because your children will be distraughted when they see their mum crying and asking their mum so many questions about your whereabouts; yes it hurt, we learn every day. Just be at home while trying to figure out the best possible solution gradually the pain will be heal when your mum return back home.

To err is human to forgive is divine

Your wife is lazy to prepare a separate meal for your mother

Be a man and go back to your house.

Your wife has asked for forgiveness. What else do you want?

Waiting for misogynistic people like Kris’s.216 to come advice you to divorce your wife

So you want people to tell you to divorce her? If you think ending your marriage based on the advice that would soon flood here once it
hits front page, just know that those who advised such will not be sharing the aftermath with you nor will they be linking you to their own sisters who can do no wrong to marry.

You have not forgiven her as you claim, reason you created this thread. She has apologized to you and your mother, go back home and sort things out and more care applied in caring for your mum.

Modified:

Theonlysonofher:
Unfortunately my sweet mother left us

May God give you peace and strength to get through this.

I just imagine how happy you are when you are proposing marriage to your wife.........now, see where it ended..... premium tears



No woman no cry

It is well....I hope your mother gets better all the way. This is a serious something. Hian....why feed mama salt when she knows shes not supposed to eat it? It is well....may God heal mama. I'm sure she has learnt her lesson. No vex biko.

michael77777:
I just imagine how happy you are when you are proposing marriage to your wife.........now, see where it ended..... premium tears



No woman no cry

.....Lol. You no get joy at all.

You just have to move on since you said you forgave her, or else you will start having same health issues as your mum due to overthinking and stress. HBP is not hard to come by and have unsettled grudges is the surest way to invite it into your life.

Incompetent lazy woman



Op I think you're in trouble

.
.
.
I honestly believe your instincts are right about your wife being intentionally wicked. She is most likely aware that much salt will kill your mom a d she went ahead with it. I'm pretty sure that she wouldn't do that to her mom.

Whatever decision you make , be rest assured she can do the same to you if the need arises.

People commenting that you should forgive will most likely NOT forgive if they are in your shoes.

Also, don't try to ask her why or look for closure, cuz that's a window for manipulation which you will regret later because you'll be in more deep shit which will lead to your holding bigger grudges.

Save your mom, and save yourself

Bro, i think u should start preparing ur mums food since u have concluded that ur beloved wife poisoned ur mum with salt. I think that would be better and safer.

Karma dey wait her with koboko

Don't leave your mother in care of your wife again.its very dangerous as you can see

Theonlysonofher:
While others are celebrating the new year today I am here sobbing because my marriage is at the verge of breaking .
I loved my wife with all my heart but I don't think I will ever forgive her for what she have done to my mother.
I am the only child of my mother I have three sisters on my father's side.
I am married with two beautiful daughters. my mother suffered from diabetes , bp and high cholesterol she is on a special diets strictly no salt or too much sugar
She came to stay with me because the person who was taking care of her wasn't doing her job properly so I had to bring her to my house so I will be monitoring her health.
I have a house help who prepare all her meals with less salt and she also make sure she takes her medicines on time without fail.
Everything was  fine my mother is not a troublesome person she gets on well with my wife and most of the time she is in her room resting.
On the 20th of December my house help had traveled to the village to see her people and she will he back in January 4th so my wife and I have to take care of my mother making sure that she her foods is less salty and medicines on time.
Since I am always working so my wife had to take most of the responsibility it is only for a week and fews days until the house help is back.
She had agreed to take care of my mother during this periods of time and I tought everything was fine but I noticed my mother become distant and tired unlike her and I had no idea that she was actually dying and I have never suspected that my wife was maltreating her.
So Thursday being 30th December I was at work when my wife called  and asked me to join her at the hospital because mama had a seizure.
I rushed to the hospital and my mother was in a coma state and I asked her what happened to mama , she said mama woke up that morning complaining about shortage of breath and she told her to go back to bed and rest hoping she will be fine by the time she will wake up.
Only for mama to fall off the ground and started shaking with foam coming out of her mouth.
I was in panicked I couldn't stop praying for my mother to get better and I didn't leave the hospital, my wife went home to take care of the children because she has left them with the neighbour and I had spend all night prayer vigil at my mother bedside and glory be to God my mother woke up yesterday being 31st but the doctor report was not a good news for me.
Actually my mother was poison with salt and guess who did it . My beloved wife couldn't bothered to cook a different meal for my mother  she used to feed her the same meal we ate knowing full well that mama cannot eat the same foods as us because we are salt lover especially my wife she love eating too much salt which I have warned her over and over again because it is also not good for her health.
I confronted her she said she only fed mama the same meals we ate twice only but according to the doctor it was more than two times.
I am hurt that my wife doesnt loved my mother or treat her like her own mother because if she truly loved her like her own mother she would have put her diet on consideration and not allow her to eat the same meal as us. I love her mother and u treat her like my own mother.
It pain me a lot  when I remember five years ago when her mother was in coma state and she was staying with her at the hospital , she is her only daughter amongst three boys.
I used to visit them everyday after work I will bring foods and I have even washed her mother clothes with my own hands I have done with love because she is my mother. I called my mother in law this morning and I have informed her about what her daughter has done to my mother and she couldn't stop apologising and she is very disappointed with my wife.
But see how she has repay me by hurting my own mother.
She has apologised to me and to my mother , I have forgave her but I don't think I can stay with her again because one day if I become sick or bedridden she might treat me the same way.
Honestly speaking I am not even at home with her and the kids I am at my cousin brother house since yesterday I left the hospital and my mother is still in the hospital because she need more treatment and hopefully she will recover by next week.
I don't feel like going home today and I don't know when I'll go home but I will always be there for my girls because they are the best thing that ever happened to me.
what other advice would you give me on this situation what are your thoughts Thank you for reading all I love this community.

what you feel is understandable sir...I mean such such wilful negligence could have cost another human being her life.
personally I did have find it difficult to forgive such a thing..
especially the fact that if this victim in the case is her mum she would definitely have taken more care...so the incredulity of such action will keep playing in one's head..the total disbelief that one's wife can actually choose to be that negligent..
don't let anyone guilt tripped you,whatever you are feeling now is definitely normal sir.
I wish you the best in solving this conundrum.

sisisioge:
It is well....I hope your mother gets better all the way. This is a serious something. Hian....why feed mama salt when she knows shes not supposed to eat it? It is well....may God heal mama. I'm sure she has learnt her lesson. No vex biko.

make im no vex..
like if its that easy.

Yinkakolawole:
Whatever a man sow he will reap, just leave her in the hands of GOD.

Why are u so wicked like this? How could u advice op to leave her in d hands of God, which God if I may ask?

Omakraid:
Please forgive your wife and let go. I'm sure that's what Mama herself will want. When mama is well, please supervise all she eats personally, she will not die in Jesus name.

Another evil advice

Double0h7:
People saying forgive her are better than me because I couldn't forgive such evil act. This isn't a thing you could just say sorry for. She put the life of someone so vulnerable in danger. Op, you don't have to forgive her. What you are feeling is normal because I feel so emotional and I don't even know your mum.

Don't mind all these end time bitches, I can't forgive such a woman, no matter the level of love I hv for her. Well, one thing I have come to realise is that a man gets treated by a woman d way he shapes his attitudes.

This your story get as e be.
I doubt the kind of salt that would make your mum have a seizure is one that anyone would be able to eat the meal, including your wife who likes salt. And this happened in about a week.
I would look into another cause for her seizures.
Hope she had a brain scan at the hospital because she might have suffered a stroke or ministroke.
Or was Mama having more than the number of tablets she should be having for her diabetes? Was she deliberately/unintentionally being overdosed on antidiabetic drugs that can cause low glucose, which in turn can cause seizures? Who is in charge of giving her the medicines? Can she be doing that by herself?
Or Mama has been avoiding eating food prepared by your wife because it's too salty, and she's still taking her diabetic medication on an empty stomach?
Please investigate further and ask your mum how she has been using her medicines.
It may be better to get her a weekly pill box with days of the week and times to take her medicine, so nobody gets confused about how she should be using her medicines