sapoyoro:
if you can't trust your spouse to be selfless to take care of your mum for as much as 10 days..then such marriage is an hideously hilarious waste of time.

emmanuelbrown26:

What if he is the only child?

Their is no how I will hv a home and my special parents won't come. So is now an offence for mama to come and stay in his son's house, didn't u read where d op said that on an occasion he had washed wife mother's cloth? Which I don't see myself doing yet the wicked and heartless wife decided to terminate mama's life, if I were op the wicked and heartless wife will rot in jail even if she is my sister she will rot in jail.II don't celeveate mediocrity and I will never do that which people around me knows that, u can't mess with my family like that and go scot free

Acidosis:


True. And a family where the son and his 3 sisters decided to "abandon" their responsibility for another woman's daughter is a sham.

sapoyoro:

pure and total rubbish... we only know and can only infer strictly from what the op told us here.

So how do you then the sisters abandoned the mother.
and saying the the son who has been taking care of the same mother also abandoned the mother is a joke actually taken too far.

if you as a husband can not trust your wife to take care of your mum in your absence or presence then your marriage is a total waste of time.

Acidosis:


True. And a family where the son and his 3 sisters decide to "abandon" their responsibility for another woman's daughter is a sham.

Double0h7:
First of all, I now believe that that thread was one of seun must chop threads so I don't believe that thread. But if we're going to talk for the sake of it then I think if the wife didn't pay too much attention to the food that the victim ate then who's to say she gave her the medication.

That wife could've just neglected the victim. If I was her husband, I couldn't forgive her because she didn't prioritize my mother. That is enough to judge her and conclude that she doesn't make me feel safe. If I don't feel safe with my wife then I need to think about this...

Reasonwithme2:
Some persons here haven't lived or taken care of old people before and as such, don't know how difficult and annoying they might be. They hate someone telling them what to do even even their life is at risk, only the learned ones can adhere to such instructions. In one way or the other, everyone failed in his or her responsibility.

wirinet:


You are very wise and experienced, unlike most people who just yarn without having any real life experience.

My mum can barely walk and need two walking sticks to walk on an even floor. She always get annoyed if you try to guide her while climbing the stairs in my house.

If I try to stand behind her just in case she falls backwards, but she will get annoyed and tell me to leave her back, because she doesn't need anyone's help to climb stirs. So whenever she is climbing the stairs when I am around, I will pretend I am walking away but hide in a corner watching her until she successfully finish climbing the stairs.

I feel very old people have a death wish and are always looking for people to "Koba" (implicate)

wirinet:


Nobody and I mean nobody will prioritize your mother more than you. If you expect that from any woman or anybody, then you are living in dreamland.

Many married women don't even allow their husband's mother to enter their home.
I had a cousins (RIP) that the wife didn't allow his husband's mother into their home. That my aunty was the sweetest woman in the world. If she comes to Lagos to see her son, they meet at another cousins house.

JONNYSPUTE:
.....Oga stop claiming to be smart. Will the wife treat her own mum or neglect her like she did to his Mother? Simple yes or no.

Stop gallivanting around.

I also asked you why we blamed the school authorities in the case of Silvester even though we all know they weren't involved directly to his death,yet no answer.

Infact all I asked you,you didn't make any attempt to answer any of them.

Hey, emotions don't win cases but facts and evidences do.

wirinet:


The problem with you is that you view marriage as a slave/master relationship or at best an employee/employer relationship. It is not. Marriage is supposed to be an equal partnership. Your wife is not hired to be a nurse or care giver to your mother, father, brothers or sisters. She can decide to be magnanimous and baby sit your mother, but it is not a right.

In the same vein, it is not your responsibility B to cater or prioritize your in-laws over your own patents. I don't subscribe to that notion that I must continue to send money or solve the material needs of my wife's parents and family. It is left entirely to my discretion.

For your information my wife even treats my mother better than she treats me and I am always appreciative. But it is not a right.

JONNYSPUTE:
....You guys are just trying to be honest by half.
The house help travelled and the responsibility of making sure she eats was bestowed on the wife.

Literally,she becomes her guardian for that moment.

Just like we all are blaming Down college for the death of Silvester,does it mean they did it directly?

No but their negligence caused his death.

Or do we start blaming his parents for sending him to a boarding school?

Mariangeles:


Of course, Sylvester’s parents are mostly to blame for being too careless and ignoring all the signs.
The school are only partly to blame.

JONNYSPUTE:
....You have not answered my question.
Will she also show such negligence if it was her mum? Yes or no.Be honest to yourself. We are not fighting bro.

Should we also blame Silvester's parents for his death because they sent him to a boarding school knowing fully well that it is their sole right to protect and take of their son?

wirinet:


Many married women don't even allow their husband's mother to enter their home.

I had a cousins (RIP) that the wife didn't allow his husband's mother into their home. That my aunty was the sweetest woman in the world. If she comes to Lagos to see her son, they meet at another cousins house.

DeepSight:


And accursed are such married women.



No offense bro, but that your cousin fall hand big time.
Before both God and man.

wirinet:

I have answered you before and I will repeat it again. She will show more care for her own mother because it's is her mother. She is far more emotionally attached to her own mother than her mother in law for obvious reasons. Same also apply to the husband, he should be more emotionally involved with his own mother than his wife's mother.
That is the fact of life!

Sylvester's parent's has their own share of the blame for their son's death.
They ignored warning signs about the their son's bullying.
They only report to the school authorities, if it's me I will report to the police or the Lagos State ministry of education. When my son was bullied by a cleaner, I went to the proprietor and threatened to report to the police. The school sent a delegation to my house to beg.

The father did not respond immediately when the school called to come and pick up their child.

The father should have rushed the boy to the nearest hospital once his son told him he had been severely beaten and made to drink something. That would most likely have saved his life. But what did he do? He transported the sick child all thr way to Warri and then took him to the family doctor, some say to a church pastor.

The school has the bulk of the blame for not monitoring children under their care, for not dealing decisively with earlier complaints of bullying and for covering the issue with a bogus claim of football injury.

Acidosis:

Okay, you've concluded that the wife indeed poisoned (killed) the woman based on what OP said?






Repeating these lines won't change facts bro. If you think anyone can love your parents more than you do, you better have a change of heart now before it is too late. Your concern should be whether your wife loves you and your children not whether she loves your mother more than she loves her mother (a daft expectation).

Here are the facts: Nobody can take care of my parents better than I would BUT here is the clause: I'm more than 30k kilometres away from my parents. I would be f00lish to downplay the efforts of those living and staying with them currently while I sit my butt in Lagos making bogus and unrealistic claims about "loving" and "taking care of" my parents just to spite those who are actually doing the hardest part of the job in the village.

Many medical professionals have come out to say that there is no correlation between cooking with small portion of salt and seizure but many of you still want to dwell in your ignorance. Na una modus operandi na. I can't wait for one of OP's sisters to also come out with a thread on how her sister in law killed her mother.

Acidosis:


I can't wait for one of OP's sisters to also come out with a thread on how her sister in law killed her mother.

wirinet:


Nobody and I mean nobody will prioritize your mother more than you. If you expect that from any woman or anybody, then you are living in dreamland.

Many married women don't even allow their husband's mother to enter their home.
I had a cousins (RIP) that the wife didn't allow his husband's mother into their home. That my aunty was the sweetest woman in the world. If she comes to Lagos to see her son, they meet at another cousins house.

wirinet:


We all vex, but watin we go do? I was the only one that was still in talking terms with him until he was assassinated on apapa bridge. His priority was his wife and her family.

We all suspected the wife, but then we had no evidence.

Acidosis:


True. And a family where the son and his 3 sisters decide to "abandon" their responsibility for another woman's daughter is a sham.

wirinet:


We all vex, but watin we go do? I was the only one that was still in talking terms with him until he was assassinated on apapa bridge. His priority was his wife and her family.

We all suspected the wife, but then we had no evidence.

eyinjuege:


Sadly, the agenda that the wife killed Mama will be propagated.
We always want to hold someone responsible when we lose a loved one.
I remember almost 25 years ago when I lost an uncle.
Amazing man, in his early 60s.
He collapsed and went into a coma.
He was found to be in diabetic coma and BP was also very high.
They gave them the impression at the hospital that it was too much Maggi that caused this.
The whole family kept spreading the nonsense narrative. His children too believed the nonseýnse and even stopped using Maggi too- they were in their 20s, all in uni.
My aunt was a great cook, a full housewife who made fresh meals everyday and was very much into cooking
That's when people started remembering that she can cut a whole bulb of onion to fry 2 eggs and it's only onions you'll be eating. People will find serious fault in everything and start lashing out at others becasue of their own grief.
Imagine a new widow burdened with the accusation of killing her husband by cooking with too much maggi
My uncle was a tall huge big man whose BMI would definitely fall within the obese group, he didn't get any exercise, had a driver to go everywhere, lived a sedentary lifestyle and was at the pinnacle of his corporate career. He also loved good food, and never joked with his food.
The wife was supposed to force him to exercise or go to the gym, she was supposed to make him control his portions, supposed to do this and that.
Meanwhile, she was also ignorant of all these things too.
The medical professionals at the teaching hospital ignored all his risk factors of obesity, gender, age, and comorbidites and focused on the salt/maggi or maybe that's the only thing we the family chose to hear. As if its the Maggi that caused his diabetes
People tend to forget illnesses come on due to multiple factors, and not just one single one.
Another aunt died of cancer and till date her daughter will not use a microwave. Whoever told them about radiation as a risk factor for cancer obviously didn't know that radiation from microwave does not make the food radioactive and can't cause cancer.

sapoyoro:

you really have such such a terrible family.

JONNYSPUTE:
.....And I guess you and your family members suspected his wife due to her actions towards your cousin's mother and generally your family members?

Meaning if you guys have seen any little loophole,you would have used it to accuse her of his death.

Why are you now countering what the op said?

Mind you,I'm not in support of the ops choice of words saying his wife poisoned his mum. But the fact is that she was negligent and careless towards the woman.

eyinjuege:


Sadly, the agenda that the wife killed Mama will be propagated.
We always want to hold someone responsible when we lose a loved one.
I remember almost 25 years ago when I lost an uncle.
Amazing man, in his early 60s.
He collapsed and went into a coma.
He was found to be in diabetic coma and BP was also very high.
They gave them the impression at the hospital that it was too much Maggi that caused this.
The whole family kept spreading the nonsense narrative. His children too believed the nonseýnse and even stopped using Maggi too- they were in their 20s, all in uni.
My aunt was a great cook, a full housewife who made fresh meals everyday and was very much into cooking
That's when people started remembering that she can cut a whole bulb of onion to fry 2 eggs and it's only onions you'll be eating. People will find serious fault in everything and start lashing out at others becasue of their own grief.
Imagine a new widow burdened with the accusation of killing her husband by cooking with too much maggi
My uncle was a tall huge big man whose BMI would definitely fall within the obese group, he didn't get any exercise, had a driver to go everywhere, lived a sedentary lifestyle and was at the pinnacle of his corporate career. He also loved good food, and never joked with his food.
The wife was supposed to force him to exercise or go to the gym, she was supposed to make him control his portions, supposed to do this and that.
Meanwhile, she was also ignorant of all these things too.
The medical professionals at the teaching hospital ignored all his risk factors of obesity, gender, age, and comorbidites and focused on the salt/maggi or maybe that's the only thing we the family chose to hear. As if its the Maggi that caused his diabetes
People tend to forget illnesses come on due to multiple factors, and not just one single one.
Another aunt died of cancer and till date her daughter will not use a microwave. Whoever told them about radiation as a risk factor for cancer obviously didn't know that radiation from microwave does not make the food radioactive and can't cause cancer.

JONNYSPUTE:
....You have not answered my question.
Will she also show such negligence if it was her mum? Yes or no.Be honest to yourself. We are not fighting bro.

Should we also blame Silvester's parents for his death because they sent him to a boarding school knowing fully well that it is their sole right to protect and take of their son?


Me I've already told my mum that na nurse we go employ for her for old age, cause even as she's not yet old, we no dey too gree, talk more of old age.

wirinet:
This is my reaction to Theonlysonofher's thread - https://www.nairaland.com/6919425/wife-poisoned-mother-salt

What motivated me to write this rejoinder is a discussion I had with my wife and few minutes ago about the topic. I showed her the thread and that the marriage is on the rocks with the husband and many nairalanders accusing the wife of murder or negligence. It was then she opened up (in fact confessed) about a similar situation in my own home.
Let me explain further...

I have my 83 year old mum who come to spend extended periods of time with my family. She has her own place with her own care givers but prefers to spend time in my house because of the children.
She too just like Theonlysonofher's mother (may her soul rest in peace) has serious health challenges. She is diabetic and asthmatic apart from other old age illness. In fact her leg is swollen from the diabetes. Just like Theonlysonofher's mother the doctor placed her on a special diet. Her diet is to be saltless and with as little carbohydrate as possible. Sugar is completely forbidden. My wife used to prepare different meals for her and then different meal for the rest of us. But recently I notice my wife serves her the same food we all eat. When I asked my wife just tells me she just reduced the salt for the general food and anyone who require more salt can add it.

While discussing this issue with my wife early this morning, my wife said she wanted to report mama to me, because she does not want people accusing her murder if anything happens to mama. She said that on New year's day, she caught mama gulping a whole bottle sprite. She said she open her room door unexpectedly and caught mama hands down with a bottle of sprite in her mouth. She said mama begged her not to tell me because I would quarrel with her, and that it's new year and so don't want to start the new year with quarrel. She further add that she should be allowed to indulge and enjoy herself to celebrate seeing the new year.
She later learn from my son that he secretly buys minerals for mama often. But also told them not to tell me

That's what I call emotional blackmail. If my wife had reporter and I quarrel with my wife, she will be accused of trying to cause quarrel between son and mother.
I then asked why she stopped cooking her meals separately, she explained that when she was doing that mama was not eating the meals and that she will just pick the meat or fish and scatter the food on the plate.


What am I getting at? Theonlysonofher's wife is innocent. She too must have been caught between the devil and the deep blue sea. I am sure his mother had been eating salt all along. She probably had a pact with the house girl and later the wife not to tell her son of her real taste for salt. If she had not been eating salt for a long time, she would have not have been able to eat a salty meal without complaining at least. And lots of doctors have pointed out that a few days of eating regular food cannot have such a devastating health impact in such a short period of time.

And so unless an autopsy or toxicology report suggest poisoning, Theonlysonofher should go back to his wife.