sgtponzihater1:
She did well to run away. Why divide a fellow human beings money for them? Most of those things are your responsibility, it's up to your wife to decide how to support you.

I am planning for my children's education ahead. My wife does not look like she will support though she earns more than 15 times of what your fiancée earns. Yet as a man you must grind on

He just made a “proposal” remember? As a salary earner, there’s nothing wrong with doing that.

myfantasies:
Guy if you bring this before me , I will walk away....

I earn 80k per month
My transport fare per day is 1,200 to 1,400
Feeding morning and afternoon 800
I recharge my phone
Get data for my phone 3500
Sub dstv 7900 every month end
I get gas ... No specific amount depends on how we use it
I get my toiletries for the month
I will make my hair
I still give mumsy and popsy little change
And I still do other expenses in the house

I can't remember the last time I bought maybe clothe or shoes for myself , cos at the end of all these expenses I am left with nothing, no savings , NOTHING.

I think you should try another different approach, try and see if you can help her get a better job or ask her if she can try side hustle, at least that will be bringing in little change.

Things are hard , the economy is not smiling, married couples need to have good income before they will start thinking of saving for this and that.

I will also walk away. Because if he's bitching like this now, he will start menstruating and squealing like a dying pig when children come along.

This op is low-key financially controlling.

kodix:
Hmm Oga you marry a woman into your family and you want her to...... You have big eyesooo,you want to use 80k and sponsor daily feeding which is the highest as the rising cost of things in Nigeria,ommo,also contribute for u in paying ur children school fees and subscribing monthly and another 20k,and her clothings,you for tell her you are not ready for marriage, and see how selfish ure you just share ur responsibilities be you and her and leave her alone for her, you for share laundry, cooking, house keeping days e.tc be u and her, ure just very wicked and has shown her on tym,she should better run without looking backoooo.

May God help us. Marriage is now scary. Feminists brought this upon themselves. They want the bolded shared in the homes. Many single guys are now taking the red pills - they want bills shared, too.

[s]

Animegirl:


You don't even know "woman's need", that's why you did that rubbish list. That 80k, isn't enough as a lady talkless of family. Unless you want her to look like an hag, in her husband's house.

Worst, you haven't even settled down yet, you're placing small responsibilities on her head.

If you want something like this, better find another woman who is willing to contribute to the family with higher earnings.

[/s]
Shut up with your stupîd entitlement mentality

Iamgrey5:
bahaha

You told your gf how much you earn

If you earn 300k, you should tell her you earn
80k

The lady's money is always her money, while yours is the general Money for everyone to spend.

My wife will never know how much I earn

I second this and I promise to always abide by it

bigpicture001:
My girlfriend whom I have planned to settle down with simply started acting cold and eventually stylishly slide out of our relationship because I sat her down and made a family financial support proposal to her in which she will be financially committed to running the proposed family we intend to raise...

These are the proposal...

1. She earns about 80k wile I earn about 300k.. I asked that we jointly contribute for all the children's Career funding starting from when we get married even before any of their birth.. I proposed 10k monthly from her and 40k from me to a trust account. From it we plan to fund all the children's Career from kiddagatten to varsity or which ever path they choose..

2. That sh choose between Nepa bill or DStv or gotv sub monthly..just one for her

3. I will be responsible for rents

4. We pay into another joint account for vacation once in two years..like sh puts in 20k I put in 50k monthly..

5. I provide all the heavy food stuffs required in the house in large quantities including gas ND change of electronics, but sh provide all the daily food supplements to mk mine complete.

6. She buys her clothes ND I buy mine but we can both surprise ourselfs with gift to the other..

7. I will buy the family car ND maintain it. If she buys no p.

8. I didn't rule out surprise gifts once a while and outting which I bankroll ND expect her to do same occasionally..

Plz oo nairalanders are these responsibilities to a wife too much for her, I mean one who works and earn over 50k...?

On 80k, she can't be doing all that every month. You scared her away

bigpicture001:
My girlfriend whom I have planned to settle down with simply started acting cold and eventually stylishly slide out of our relationship because I sat her down and made a family financial support proposal to her in which she will be financially committed to running the proposed family we intend to raise...

These are the proposal...

1. She earns about 80k wile I earn about 300k.. I asked that we jointly contribute for all the children's Career funding starting from when we get married even before any of their birth.. I proposed 10k monthly from her and 40k from me to a trust account. From it we plan to fund all the children's Career from kiddagatten to varsity or which ever path they choose.

You did wrong. First of all how much is left for her from her 80k salary after transport, Office feeding and emergencies. How much is left for her after she buys all/most of her essentials ( that is if she isn't high taste anD flamboyant) whatever is left for her after that, minus the bills you want her to take care of from it. Then think if she has anything left Incase of family emergencies or emergencies in general. Or If she has anything left to save for a rainy day. If after your calc. Your mathematics works then you're go to go

Mariangeles:


Let's just agree that you're not yet ready to marry.

so you want him to carry the whole burden? What then will her salary be for?

Most of the females here are absolutely disgusting responsibility dodging entities!
As for the foolish men supporting them continue in your suicidal ways.

EmmaOgbu:
The arrangement won't work for so many, but try make it 40k her total contribution per month, you should do the rest.



My wife and I have no separate account. Everything we get, enters the same account. To buy anything worth 1k and above, we have to agree b4 making the purchase.



Its working for us, but its not easy.

Understanding and communication. Couples that understand this have fewer issues. Still not perfect, but better than none.

Twoclans:
I really wish more women can voice out ,[b]everytime I log into nairaland and see all this small boys abi small men [/b]saying Nugerian women do not contribute to the family i usually ask myself if it is this same Nigeria that I see alot of women hustling and fending for their homes completely with the man being a complete liability.

The nature of my job puts me on the move always ,as it is I have three apartments in different states and I know what I see almost on a daily basis.

I really do not think any woman should be shamed because she refused to contribute to a home that she could be driven away from the next minute especially in this country that does not protect women at all.

Where did you see nairalanders to know if they are small? assert yourself and leave frivolities.

For me, the best approach I can think of is, u combine both finances together, then everyone gets equal fun money. Then the rest is shared between expenses and savings. That way, everyone is happy.

SaveMeLord:
98% of Nigerian women are looking for a Messiah that will carry all their load without them having to do anything. Op the type of lady you are looking for to marry in Nigeria. There are only 464 of them. 350 are already married and have been married for long, 60 have travelled abroad and most have been taken by reasonable men there and the remaining 54 are here in Nigeria scattered across the Country i.e at least 1 or 2 per state.

Now Op the probability of you meeting the type of woman that will want to be a partner and sacrifice in the marriage is the same as the probability of winning the USA Powerball lottery which is very unlikely.

You can decide to be single and unmarried nobody will kill you and preserve your peace of mind. Just look at the first entitled leach that commented above. That is how most of them are. Leave her by the time she start to old she'll come back they always have this useless overconfidence that they are too fine and another better guy is coming for them until reality dawns on their frail brains

I married one of them from Rivers State

UyaiIncomparabl:
You're not serious. Never split bills with a woman.
Let her decide to pick up bills that she can afford. You seem very irresponsible.

This one is a fool.

bigpicture001:
My girlfriend whom I have planned to settle down with simply started acting cold and eventually stylishly slide out of our relationship because I sat her down and made a family financial support proposal to her in which she will be financially committed to running the proposed family we intend to raise...

These are the proposal...

1. She earns about 80k wile I earn about 300k.. I asked that we jointly contribute for all the children's Career funding starting from when we get married even before any of their birth.. I proposed 10k monthly from her and 40k from me to a trust account. From it we plan to fund all the children's Career from kiddagatten to varsity or which ever path they choose..

2. That sh choose between Nepa bill or DStv or gotv sub monthly..just one for her

3. I will be responsible for rents

4. We pay into another joint account for vacation once in two years..like sh puts in 20k I put in 50k monthly..

5. I provide all the heavy food stuffs required in the house in large quantities including gas ND change of electronics, but sh provide all the daily food supplements to mk mine complete.

6. She buys her clothes ND I buy mine but we can both surprise ourselfs with gift to the other..

7. I will buy the family car ND maintain it. If she buys no p.

8. I didn't rule out surprise gifts once a while and outting which I bankroll ND expect her to do same occasionally..

Plz oo nairalanders are these responsibilities to a wife too much for her, I mean one who works and earn over 50k...?

Incomplete and unrealistic plan.

The plan seems plausible now, but what happens after marriage when children start entering the equation. Education is not the only responsibility you have toward your proposed children. From prenatal to delivery to feeding your proposed children. Pray she doesn't give birth by c-section. Even normal delivery would cost between 80 - 100k. Cost of pampers nowadays na die. Except you want your babies to destroy your house with smell of piss and shit. Baby formula nko. That one cost pass gold. When I think of watin I don pass through in birthing and raising my babies, my prick go just fall.
Then add that to the yearly inflation rate of about 15%, you will see that your 300k and her 80k will pale into insignificance if you want your family to have a minimum standards of living.

You need to invest in the career of both you and your girlfriend in order to increase your earnings to meet the standard of living you are proposing. You girlfriend needs to go back to school or learn a skill that increase her earning power. She is earning too low at the moment to achieve all those contribution targets you are imposing on her. Her personal upkeep and running costs alone would gulp the whole 80k.

Calebility:
Chairman why not ask her to suggest her own way of supporting the family first.
That will help you to tell the kind of person you're dealing with.

Your money is her money, her money is hers and hers alone.

I want to believe you are a lady behind this moniker but if you are a guy! Hmmmmm

LesbianBoy:


I feel like nacking you jazz!

30% is too small jor

In this era of equality? Lai Lai it must be 50 50!

in this era of equality, you will carry one pregnancy while she carries the other. Since we all want to be mad together.

Animegirl:


You don't even know "woman's need", that's why you did that rubbish list. That 80k, isn't enough as a lady talkless of family. Unless you want her to look like an hag, in her husband's house.

Worst, you haven't even settled down yet, you're placing small responsibilities on her head.

If you want something like this, better find another woman who is willing to contribute to the family with higher earnings.

A lady who can manage wealth well is an asset to a man not a lady who only knows how to spend wealth without knowing the value of anything.

She will be getting gifts and other perks bt non of u saw that part. She wants to blow her 80k and blow 100k from her husbands money cos she’s feels self entitled to it. No sense of responsibility whatsoever.

Most Nigerian woman like to put their men under unnecessary and undue pressure I noticed.

A white gal will be glad to share the bills they marry for love bt u all marry for security and his money only.

Abfinest007:
You should have asked her in what way , will she support you ,not you dividing it .you can even make a list of all the expenses then let her chose

That's right.

Hmmmmmm
Your tactless manner of presenting the issue made the lady to runaway....
In my own case, I refused to even know how much my wife was earning before our marriage. Till date, I don't know how much she has and I don't care how she spends her money. I take care of all the expenses in the house including buying a car for her, fueling and maintaining it. The only time I requested money from her was when I was executing two projects simultaneously and at a point I ran out of cash. She gave me 2m and I told her that I'll pay her back with interest and she was very much excited. But the next day she talked anyhow and I transferred back the money to her and collected loan from somewhere else...
I don't like taking shit from anybody including my wife, so I see no reason why someone earning over 3m per annum should be asking his wife to devote 65% of her earnings to running a home.
It is a man's responsibility to take care of his home, the woman is only there as a helper not a family 'co-runner'!!

Amazing..... You've helped some of us

Emrys295:
For me, the best approach I can think of is, u combine both finances together, then everyone gets equal fun money. Then the rest is shared between expenses and savings. That way, everyone is happy.

bigpicture001:
My girlfriend whom I have planned to settle down with simply started acting cold and eventually stylishly slide out of our relationship because I sat her down and made a family financial support proposal to her in which she will be financially committed to running the proposed family we intend to raise...

These are the proposal...

1. She earns about 80k wile I earn about 300k.. I asked that we jointly contribute for all the children's Career funding starting from when we get married even before any of their birth.. I proposed 10k monthly from her and 40k from me to a trust account. From it we plan to fund all the children's Career from kiddagatten to varsity or which ever path they choose..

2. That sh choose between Nepa bill or DStv or gotv sub monthly..just one for her

3. I will be responsible for rents

4. We pay into another joint account for vacation once in two years..like sh puts in 20k I put in 50k monthly..

5. I provide all the heavy food stuffs required in the house in large quantities including gas ND change of electronics, but sh provide all the daily food supplements to mk mine complete.

6. She buys her clothes ND I buy mine but we can both surprise ourselfs with gift to the other..

7. I will buy the family car ND maintain it. If she buys no p.

8. I didn't rule out surprise gifts once a while and outting which I bankroll ND expect her to do same occasionally..

Plz oo nairalanders are these responsibilities to a wife too much for her, I mean one who works and earn over 50k...?

UncletC:

the vacation money is not N20,000 monthly but N20,000 every 2 years. Just about N800 monthly

i beg to differ UncleT, check the number 4 again


He wrote.

Vacation is once every two years so they will have to contribute 20k monthly for her, then 50k monthly for him.. He mentioned monthly in his statement. You can check again.

lereinter:


You don't want to marry the girl joor

Put your self in her shoes




If you or her lose job nko

If they lose job, then they replan....
This is how people plan marriage abroad
bicpicture001 only asked her for around 20k out of 80k....

If she’s living alone, won’t she pay her rent, buy her clothes, etc.. she will spend more and not have savings up to 20k....
the man asked him to pay 10k for her child’s education and 20k for a enjoyment every two years( that’s less than 1000naira per month.
...plus N2450 for Gotv, and small change that she would probably not pay because the guy is buying all the food and gas and co..

Yet she ran away...She doesn’t have team spirit... that’s why marriages fail.... some women just want to be paid for marrying as if they did the guy a favour....

dingbang:
you are welcome bro. See just find woman wey her salary start from 150k. It will ease up things for you a bit. Trust me .

We have a lot of coded female doctors who are single and they are always busy. No time for dating. That is a good source for you to catch.

In order words, he should turn a gold digger for single female doctors in Nigeria.

Well since he has been advised to look for a lady that earns above N150k, he will also need to remove love and attraction from the Union since the emphasis is on settling bills.

I don't want to see his epistle later about how he and his wife are living as flatmates.

ukaface:
I don't like this kine of method.

Why not suggest a particular percentage of money from both partners be put into a joint account. This joint account would take care of everything from rent,fees,bills.
If you put in 100k, and she puts say 30/40k
140 k *12
Or to make it more feasible a larger percentage can be agreed upon. But put in mind to consider her salary. 80k no fit do Nada for a family woman.
I'm sure she would get wigs, want to look good, get personal feminine stuffs,her Transportation and feeding at work. Bros Na those things you go consider.
All these bring 10k for this one, 20k for that...won't pay her.

Do you know many family women in Nigeria don’t even earn up to 50k? Do they also not contribute to their family upkeep? This guy is a salary earner who can lose his job at anytime. Moreover this was only a “proposal”….

If she could not sit down and discuss with him now, then their marriage is doomed already. What’s the point of dating if she cannot have an educated discussion with her man Una funny sha

aimmoney9:
A woman's money in marriage is her's....

So also is that of her husband......

This is the Nigerian woman mentality that has made men now start looking for only working class ladies to settle down with coz no one needs a liability.....

They need to drastically change this mindset because from the looks of things fewer men are getting married in Nigeria now and the situation will worsen in the future.....

If you are ready to marry as a woman you must be ready to contribute financially to it, that's what building a home entails....

A wise man. Africa turns men to slaves. Unless your money is long like the Niger a man should be use his head.

You should have asked her what she can do ,.... secondly if because of what you plan in your marriage she ran away ....leave her

GhenGhenGhen comments go full here o.
MUFC fans can relate

DrFunmisticGlow:
in this era of equality, you will carry one pregnancy while she carries the other. Since we all want to be mad together.

See this one. No be you mate dey plot to get belle for celeb?

Nothing dey to carry belle again so you no fit threaten men with that again

When you showed her your own financial plan, you should also allowed her to do her own, then you and her will now finalise the plan together to come to an agreement, not imposing yours to her, that's why she left.

poiZon:

80k na big money as a starter, moreso it isnt static. She will get salary increment from time to time.
Guyman said he is doing business, business no dey stable. Somethings fit happen in future that may mar or increase his monthly earnings.

in this present time of increase in price of commodities, 80k is small money Sir.

Well all I can say in other for a marriage to work everyone need to contribute there own quota, you might be looking at 300k as big deal my brother nothing is there. She need to contribute too