dobnina:

Oga, you are selfish. Thank God she left you. You are the head of the family so all the responsibility falls on you.
Will you also share house chores with her? Will you share pregnancy with her? Will you share the stress in the Labour room with her?
You are just being selfish. Man up and take all your responsibility and stop acting like a gigolo.

A fi "man up" nor

friendl:
You should have asked her what she can do ,.... secondly if because of what you plan in your marriage she ran away ....leave her

So that she will now say that, she will be buying only singlets and boxers for him on his birthday abi?

bigpicture001:
My girlfriend whom I have planned to settle down with simply started acting cold and eventually stylishly slide out of our relationship because I sat her down and made a family financial support proposal to her in which she will be financially committed to running the proposed family we intend to raise...

These are the proposal...

1. She earns about 80k wile I earn about 300k.. I asked that we jointly contribute for all the children's Career funding starting from when we get married even before any of their birth.. I proposed 10k monthly from her and 40k from me to a trust account. From it we plan to fund all the children's Career from kiddagatten to varsity or which ever path they choose..

2. That sh choose between Nepa bill or DStv or gotv sub monthly..just one for her

3. I will be responsible for rents

4. We pay into another joint account for vacation once in two years..like sh puts in 20k I put in 50k monthly..

5. I provide all the heavy food stuffs required in the house in large quantities including gas ND change of electronics, but sh provide all the daily food supplements to mk mine complete.

6. She buys her clothes ND I buy mine but we can both surprise ourselfs with gift to the other..

7. I will buy the family car ND maintain it. If she buys no p.

8. I didn't rule out surprise gifts once a while and outting which I bankroll ND expect her to do same occasionally..

Plz oo nairalanders are these responsibilities to a wife too much for her, I mean one who works and earn over 50k...?

bro I wouldn't be shocked she is sliding out of the relationship,most of this 21st century ladies are not thought how to be a house wife,she sliding out is not a good thing she should have added her own contribution of how much she can assist the home with ,I will advise men ,men should determine how many kids they want, because last last most of the burdens will be on you

peace brother

Twoclans:
I really wish more women can voice out ,everytime I log into nairaland and see all this small boys abi small men saying Nugerian women do not contribute to the family i usually ask myself if it is this same Nigeria that I see alot of women hustling and fending for their homes completely with the man being a complete liability.

The nature of my job puts me on the move always ,as it is I have three apartments in different states and I know what I see almost on a daily basis.

I really do not think any woman should be shamed because she refused to contribute to a home that she could be driven away from the next minute especially in this country that does not protect women at all.

God bless you

Mariangeles:
On top 80k salary, you want make she dey drop 10k every month for trust account, 20k for joint account, provide "food supplement", make she still choose between NEPA bill, DSTV, or GOTV subscription...on top wetin?
Oga, how much wan remain to take buy clothes, cosmetics and toiletries for herself na (cos e sure me dai say you no fit buy those things for her), not to talk of find her parents something? Unto say she marry you?

Abeg! Carry your wahala go front!

the thing tire me oooo..

dingbang:
in this present time of increase in price of commodities, 80k is small money Sir.

Oga 80k na big money..
Our parents earn 50naira back then and thry didnt complain much.

Lightway:


Look at this simp.... Sanitary pads of 2k tops, makeup is not necessary for a woman. Perfume is 2k tops.

Hair is expensive...

Hehehehe

Why do I care sef

perfume is 2k?
Haba? Are you using hausa perfume or cele incense?

bigpicture001:


Thanks man.. heard from her friend that sh said am too stingy,.

Honestly I didn't make her spend up to 50k from her wage.. 300k is not big and can be exhausted soon..

The weight will be too much if I form the normal Nigerian guy who likes to carry load on their head

You are making it mandatory

Mariangeles:


Let's just agree that you're not yet ready to marry.

As if you can even marry a man earning 80k as salary.

bigpicture001:


Thanks man.. heard from her friend that sh said am too stingy,.

Honestly I didn't make her spend up to 50k from her wage.. 300k is not big and can be exhausted soon..

The weight will be too much if I form the normal Nigerian guy who likes to carry load on their head

I salute you....

This kind too much calculation fit make person mad oh..

Thank God she left..

phemmyfour:
On 80k, she can't be doing all that every month. You scared her away

Una funny sha As a single woman wouldn’t she be doing all that monthly? This guy proposed a plan and she ran away…lmao

Connected1:
That's how one girl was telling me that we would share the cooking and other domestic house chores that she also needs to relax and she can't kill herself.

I can do these things perfectly but the fact that she had to tell me these things made me upset and went home.

That's not setting or planning a family financially, you are just being a dictator, it doesn't matter if you are also providing.

The best way is to ask her politely, babe if we get married tomorrow, how much from your salary will you drop for the family upkeep then her decisions will tell you who she is.

Don't use your own hands to chase away a good lady.

nice one. The op thinks it's by listing scale of preference and how to foot dem dat makes him learned. You can get ur wife to contribute even more dan 50% of her earnings without she knowing. Just show her you're doing ur best and will fall in line.

Twoclans:
I really wish more women can voice out ,everytime I log into nairaland and see all this small boys abi small men saying Nugerian women do not contribute to the family i usually ask myself if it is this same Nigeria that I see alot of women hustling and fending for their homes completely with the man being a complete liability.

The nature of my job puts me on the move always ,as it is I have three apartments in different states and I know what I see almost on a daily basis.

I really do not think any woman should be shamed because she refused to contribute to a home that she could be driven away from the next minute especially in this country that does not protect women at all.

See this one its all exaggeration. Most men are still the bread winners in there house.

Btw, the so called women you think are the bread winners, if we check you will see that it is rich men that are either helping them financially or was instrumental to her getting the work.

Men don't like to help their fellow men these days they would rather help women

Useless creations na many of Dem be

See as OP take escape time bomb

@womenareapess @savedday @mosdii have always been saying the truth about them

They got notin to offer

kayClt:
the thing tire me oooo..

As a single lady she no go pay all these bills abi
Una just dey funny sha

LesbianBoy:


See this one. No be you mate dey plot to get belle for celeb?

Nothing dey to carry belle again so you no fit threaten men with that again

You obviously are not qualified to stand before me and my mates.

I thank God for locking shop against people like you.

Just marry your masturbàting hand at this point

DrFunmisticGlow:
continue waiting for handouts from a woman. Weakling

U call sacrifice and little responsibilities handout, I don't know your potential husband but I pity him already

LesbianBoy:


See this one its all exaggeration. Most men are still the bread winners in there house.

Btw, the so called women you think are the bread winners, if we check you will see that it is rich men that are either helping them financially or was instrumental to her getting the work.

Men don't like to help their fellow men these days they would rather help women

like your mom abi?

bigpicture001:
My girlfriend whom I have planned to settle down with simply started acting cold and eventually stylishly slide out of our relationship because I sat her down and made a family financial support proposal to her in which she will be financially committed to running the proposed family we intend to raise...

These are the proposal...

1. She earns about 80k wile I earn about 300k.. I asked that we jointly contribute for all the children's Career funding starting from when we get married even before any of their birth.. I proposed 10k monthly from her and 40k from me to a trust account. From it we plan to fund all the children's Career from kiddagatten to varsity or which ever path they choose..

2. That sh choose between Nepa bill or DStv or gotv sub monthly..just one for her

3. I will be responsible for rents

4. We pay into another joint account for vacation once in two years..like sh puts in 20k I put in 50k monthly..

5. I provide all the heavy food stuffs required in the house in large quantities including gas ND change of electronics, but sh provide all the daily food supplements to mk mine complete.

6. She buys her clothes ND I buy mine but we can both surprise ourselfs with gift to the other..

7. I will buy the family car ND maintain it. If she buys no p.

8. I didn't rule out surprise gifts once a while and outting which I bankroll ND expect her to do same occasionally..

Plz oo nairalanders are these responsibilities to a wife too much for her, I mean one who works and earn over 50k...?

op u are biting more than u can chew.some of those things u are mentioning are bullshit for now.what do u need health insurance for when she works for fg and has NHIS?better cut ur coat according to ur cloth oooo.no go dey form big man when u salary no fit support am.who vacation help?see wetin u dey List,how u no go need help?

poiZon:

Oga 80k na big money..
Our parents earn 50naira back then and thry didnt complain much.

Keyword, back then. Back then when salary was N50 a brand new Peugeot care was N6,000. Education was free and naira was higher than the dollar.

Now N50 can hardly buy children's biscuit.

pompeiimagnus:


As a man, you have to LEAD! This is exactly how leaders show proactiveness. He only “proposed” a plan and she ran away. Lmao

this is not plan but strictness. Even people who don't earn as much as 100k live happily in marriage. Listing all des ain't necessary. While growing up my mum takes care of more than 50% of the family needs without making noise over it. Just do ur best as a man and the woman will align.

myfantasies:
Guy if you bring this before me , I will walk away....

I earn 80k per month
My transport fare per day is 1,200 to 1,400
Feeding morning and afternoon 800
I recharge my phone
Get data for my phone 3500
Sub dstv 7900 every month end
I get gas ... No specific amount depends on how we use it
I get my toiletries for the month
I will make my hair
I still give mumsy and popsy little change
And I still do other expenses in the house

I can't remember the last time I bought maybe clothe or shoes for myself , cos at the end of all these expenses I am left with nothing, no savings , NOTHING.

I think you should try another different approach, try and see if you can help her get a better job or ask her if she can try side hustle, at least that will be bringing in little change.

Things are hard , the economy is not smiling, married couples need to have good income before they will start thinking of saving for this and that.

This is the case. You earn 80K and foot all the bills that exhaust your 80K in a month. You find a man that tells you to contribute just half, that means you would live more comfortably and have 40K to save....... That's a huge improvement.

I think our girls must start improving. Most don't think of being financially ready for marriage, they think being a woman automatically qualifies them.

Shoodboi:


There's a reason men die earlier than women.

after all you said, this one here is what the OP is trying to avoid.

shantti:


U call sacrifice and little responsibilities handout, I don't know your potential husband but I pity him already

what kind of home did you grow up In?

Who is training this generation of men to be weak?

As if a woman doesn't sacrifice enough into a marriage.

You for kill am for altar now? Since you want sacrifice. Mtcheeeeeeeeeew

Mariangeles:
On top 80k salary, you want make she dey drop 10k every month for trust account, 20k for joint account, provide "food supplement", make she still choose between NEPA bill, DSTV, or GOTV subscription...on top wetin?
Oga, how much wan remain to take buy clothes, cosmetics and toiletries for herself na (cos e sure me dai say you no fit buy those things for her), not to talk of find her parents something? Unto say she marry you?

Abeg! Carry your wahala go front!

The question for u be say wetin 300k of husband sef go remain after all those expenses? The era of wife keeping her income all to herself is over in marriage, everyone is struggling.

Mariangeles:
On top 80k salary, you want make she dey drop 10k every month for trust account, 20k for joint account, provide "food supplement", make she still choose between NEPA bill, DSTV, or GOTV subscription...on top wetin?
Oga, how much wan remain to take buy clothes, cosmetics and toiletries for herself na (cos e sure me dai say you no fit buy those things for her), not to talk of find her parents something? Unto say she marry you?

Abeg! Carry your wahala go front!

I bow o

[color=#006600][/color]

Calebility:
Chairman why not ask her to suggest her own way of supporting the family first.
That will help you to tell the kind of person you're dealing with.

Your money is her money, her money is hers and hers alone.

See them. Weaklings everywhere.

His money is her money. But her money is her money. People like you are the reason why Nigerian girls are sooo entitled and irresponsible.

wirinet:


Keyword, back then. Back then when salary was N50 a brand new Peugeot care was N6,000. Education was free and naira was higher than the dollar.

Now N50 can hardly but children's biscuit.

80k, biscuit is less than 2k a carton depending on type.
Yes there is inflation is but as a family u know what to spend ur money on.
If she can't sacrifice for heself and family, who will she be saving her money for?
If i have a jb of 80k, i don marry.

DrFunmisticGlow:
perfume is 2k?
Haba? Are you using hausa perfume or cele incense?

Shut up

Perfume is 2k..

DrFunmisticGlow:
in this era of equality, you will carry one pregnancy while she carries the other. Since we all want to be mad together.

How many nowadays wives carry pregnancy alone? Most of them literally become paralyzed, maybe I should say lazy. Both husbands & wives take up pregnancy responsibilities now.

You, feminists, brought the mess upon all girls. You're forcing single guys to take those stupid red pills everyday. House chores & bills must be shared. Is that not the equality the feminists seek? Like you stated, almost all singles are now mad together.

OP, if this your write up is true your demand is very reasonable and polite. Raising family is a mutual responsibility not individual responsibility. The financial responsibility acrue to her is very moderate and reasonable from the 80k she's earning. From all indications you receive more and contribute more percentage of your earning which makes you the head of the family. Some of us whom were not as wise as you are already regretting because we thought we were superman and we are capable of provide everything for the family and any attempt at the long run to call for a family support from our spouse are always with a stiff resistance. Is the simple reason why widows are 1000 times more than widower. Is family responsibilities that causes men to develop BP which eventually killed them.