Bonjovi13:
I'm sorry man. You are not ready to be a husband.
The first rule of a successful marriage is that you don't plan with your wife's money. A woman's money is her money. Your money is the family's money.

Have that mind set and don't let fear of being stressed or broke rule you.

Before a woman will trust you with her money,you must have earned that trust based on how well you take care of the family and being financially prudent and responsible.

You cannot just expect her to submit her money to the common purse when you have not proven yourself.
Besides look at the pressure you are putting on her even before you have married her. All those bills inside 80k. She has to even buy her clothes. LMAO!!!

Guy,chill out. Next time when you get into a serious relationship with a woman,let her see you being responsible and generous to her and then allow her to decide what she would do with her funds to help out. But never plan on her money or worse still suggest what she would bring.

CHoccolaTE:


I Hope Op and the woman he wants to share bills with will divide their kids into half half, half the kids bear the woman's name and the other kids bear the mans name.

Hope they will divide authority in the house since the wife is now paying bills and feeding her husband?
Will they have cooking and cleaning time table too? Will the man back the baby to market when his wife is tired and wants to rest etc??

bigpicture001:


Thanks man.. heard from her friend that sh said am too stingy,.

Honestly I didn't make her spend up to 50k from her wage.. 300k is not big and can be exhausted soon..

The weight will be too much if I form the normal Nigerian guy who likes to carry load on their head

CHoccolaTE:


Very smart girl. I pray she finds a hardworking and rich, generous man to marry not akagum like OP.

Animegirl:


You don't even know "woman's need", that's why you did that rubbish list. That 80k, isn't enough as a lady talkless of family. Unless you want her to look like an hag, in her husband's house.

Worst, you haven't even settled down yet, you're placing small responsibilities on her head. Be calming down na.

If you want something like this, better find another woman who is willing to contribute to the family with higher earnings.

SoapQueen:


This is the comment I've been searching for. What some of these men do not know is that some women are the breadwinners in their matrimonial homes. But they keep quiet about it just to respect their husbands.

I can't carry our babies for 9 months, push them out, change my body and clock in motherhood just to be stressing myself carrying financial burden.


Marriage is not a must.
I'll work hard for my money but no man will tell me how to spend it.

bigpicture001:
My girlfriend whom I have planned to settle down with simply started acting cold and eventually stylishly slide out of our relationship because I sat her down and made a family financial support proposal to her in which she will be financially committed to running the proposed family we intend to raise...

These are the proposal...

1. She earns about 80k wile I earn about 300k.. I asked that we jointly contribute for all the children's Career funding starting from when we get married even before any of their birth.. I proposed 10k monthly from her and 40k from me to a trust account. From it we plan to fund all the children's Career from kiddagatten to varsity or which ever path they choose..

2. That sh choose between Nepa bill or DStv or gotv sub monthly..just one for her

3. I will be responsible for rents

4. We pay into another joint account for vacation once in two years..like sh puts in 20k I put in 50k monthly..

5. I provide all the heavy food stuffs required in the house in large quantities including gas ND change of electronics, but sh provide all the daily food supplements to mk mine complete.

6. She buys her clothes ND I buy mine but we can both surprise ourselfs with gift to the other..

7. I will buy the family car ND maintain it. If she buys no p.

8. I didn't rule out surprise gifts once a while and outting which I bankroll ND expect her to do same occasionally..

Plz oo nairalanders are these responsibilities to a wife too much for her, I mean one who works and earn over 50k...?

bigpicture001:


Thanks man.. heard from her friend that sh said am too stingy,.

Honestly I didn't make her spend up to 50k from her wage.. 300k is not big and can be exhausted soon..

The weight will be too much if I form the normal Nigerian guy who likes to carry load on their head

nextstep:


To the women bread-winning. Kudos to them. But I must argue that if a woman's not going to be carrying financial burden for the children she chose to make, she should have let her parents know early on so they won't have bothered spending money educating her. I'm being intentionally mean, but that's the logical conclusion your statement is taking me to.

Mariangeles:
On top 80k salary, you want make she dey drop 10k every month for trust account, 20k for joint account, provide "food supplement", make she still choose between NEPA bill, DSTV, or GOTV subscription...on top wetin?
Oga, how much wan remain to take buy clothes, cosmetics and toiletries for herself na (cos e sure me dai say you no fit buy those things for her), not to talk of find her parents something? Unto say she marry you?

Abeg! Carry your wahala go front!

franciskaine:
the earlier you started understanding dat women hate contribute dis, contribute dat, the better for you. A man dat earns 300k should automatically know dat not more than 50% of that should go for daily family expenses. Make ur calculations and hand over what u can to ur wife. Let her sort herself.

Mariangeles:
On top 80k salary, you want make she dey drop 10k every month for trust account, 20k for joint account, provide "food supplement", make she still choose between NEPA bill, DSTV, or GOTV subscription...on top wetin?
Oga, how much wan remain to take buy clothes, cosmetics and toiletries for herself na (cos e sure me dai say you no fit buy those things for her), not to talk of find her parents something? Unto say she marry you?

Abeg! Carry your wahala go front!

Calebility:
Chairman why not ask her to suggest her own way of supporting the family first.
That will help you to tell the kind of person you're dealing with.

Your money is her money, her money is hers and hers alone.

omo !
Bro. Abeg go over this comment again, especially the statement I've underlined.


Nawaooo. !

How do some of you define Marriage sef

The legal union between two parties of opposite sex to enrich the weaker party and make the well to do partner the most broke person in the world

Kai ! ! nawaooo

benqo01:


I see plain stupidity in what you wrote,who is not a breadwinner in the family? You talk like a lad,as if its only women that are bread winners in the family.

Lol what has pregnancy got to do with all this? You re just bringing up irrelevant issues here to cover up your stupidity nd greediness.

Lol shiloh awaits you people like you, cry in your closet for husband but come online to form rubbish gettat

You better change that your mentality now,its never too late

NairaMaster1:


The OP is a gold digger and irresponsible.

ringi82:

Should financial capacity and capability be the sole consideration for marriage now ,.. What happened to love, compatibility, soul mate? Marriage don become contract agreement between 2 people in Nigeria now. Economic survival ,.. Nobody won carry another pesin load again.

dobnina:

Oga, you are selfish. Thank God she left you. You are the head of the family so all the responsibility falls on you.
Will you also share house chores with her? Will you share pregnancy with her? Will you share the stress in the Labour room with her?
You are just being selfish. Man up and take all your responsibility and stop acting like a gigolo.

Animegirl:


You don't even know "woman's need", that's why you did that rubbish list. That 80k, isn't enough as a lady talkless of family. Unless you want her to look like an hag, in her husband's house.

Worst, you haven't even settled down yet, you're placing small responsibilities on her head. Be calming down na.

If you want something like this, better find another woman who is willing to contribute to the family with higher earnings.

nextstep:


You make a very good point, based on reality on the ground.

However, women should stop hating "contribute dis, contribute dat"... we didn't train them to be equals so they can hate responsibility. Afterall a man is told the same, and he takes it. A woman should take it too. Op should keep looking till he finds a woman who's for him.

Animegirl:


You don't even know "woman's need", that's why you did that rubbish list. That 80k, isn't enough as a lady talkless of family. Unless you want her to look like an hag, in her husband's house.

Worst, you haven't even settled down yet, you're placing small responsibilities on her head. Be calming down na.

If you want something like this, better find another woman who is willing to contribute to the family with higher earnings.

adanny01:


Bro u f....d up big time.

You scared the devil out of her. On the other hand, she failed the test cos thats what I consider your ridiculous plans.

You earn 300 against her 80, any woman wants you to give her 150 plus hers to manage. Anything else means u are stingy. That kind of discussion should not have been made with today's women.

Lastly, the best way to deal with women is give her money and pass the entire bills to her. Give her the money and ask her to save for your children and do every thing like you are not there. Thats the way to spend your own part of your own salary in peace.

Oh i forgot, dont ever plan on what you did not earn, allow her to do her own planing of what she earns, if you ever want a wife that will respect you.

Dont forget to set something aside for her parents and yours.

Biggie2000:

So, you didn't read the part where the OP said he is earning 300K abi? Is it his fault she's earning 80k? You want a man that is earning 300K to drop 50k for vacation, pay rent, 40K for contribution per month, pay rent, pay for health insurance, buy and also maintain the family car? Kilode?!!! Do you want to kill him? It's still the same man that will fuel the car, fuel the generator, buy cooking gas, pay to repair things in the house, she will still ask the same man for money to make hair, money for data, money to send to her family members, money for transport, etc So, where do you expect the man to see money to take care of himself?. Abi, you feel that men enjoying looking haggard? You think he will not like to spend on himself? Most of you females always make plans for yourselves only; you don't care about your boyfriend. You don't care if your boyfriend is looking tattered, as long as you females are looking fine. Most of you females are just entitled and stingy people. Any woman that doesn't earn enough money to handle atleast 30% of the family responsibilities, should kindly get the fvck out. Please, don't allow the door hit you on your way out.

DEBJOCH1:
UNMARRIED AN INMATURED PEOPLE WILL BE HERE TELLING YOU NONSENSE THAT THE LADY IS BAD, SHE A GOLD DIGGER OR THAT, MARRIAGE AND FINANCIAL PLANNING DOESNT WORK THE WAY YOU JUST PAINTED IT NOW TO BE. THE RULE OF HAVING A SUUCESSFUL MARRIAGE AND A SUPPORTIVE WIFE 8S THIS. BE OPENED TO HER, DO NOT PURKDIVE INTO HER SALARY OR SAVING, DO YOUR PART AS A HUSBAND, THEN ONCE IN A WHILE PRETEND YOU DONT HAVE, THEN YOU WILL SEE HER DOING ALL THE UNIMAGINABLE, THOUGH WE HAVE SOME HEARTLESS WIVES, THOSE THAT EVEN IF THEY ARE EARNING 500K A M9NTH THEY WONT EVEN DROP 10K AT HOME FOR SUPPORT, BUT GENERALLY WHEN A HUSBAND ALWAYS TREAT THE WIFE WELL, YOU DONT NEED TO SHARE RESPONSIBILITIES WITH YOUR WIFE BEFORE YOU SEE HER DOING THE NEEDFUL AT HOME. IS EVEN A SHAME ON YOUR PART FOR YOU TO CALL A LADY YOU ARE NOT MARRIED TO AND START SHARING FINANCIAL OBLIGATION WITH, IT SHOWS YOU ARE NOT EVEN MATURED, IT SHOW YOU AS A MAN, YOU ARE THE GOLD DIGGER THERE, THE YOUNG LADY DID THE BEST BY SAVING HER HEAD AND RUN AWAY FROM A POTENTIAL RISK LIKE YOU. WITH YOUR KIND OF MEN NO LADY WILL WANT TO SPEND HER LIFE WITH A MAN LIKE YOU, BECAUSE YOUR TYPE WONT MAKE A BETTER HUSBAND, WHAT YOU SOULD HAVE BEEN CONCERNED ABOUT DO GET A LADY WHO CAN MANAGE WITH YOU, WHO IS NOT EXTRAVAGANT IN SPENDING ETC. AND NOT A LADY YOU SHOULD BE SHARING FINANCIAL IBLUGATION WITH. I. YOUR MIND YOU THOUGHT YOU ARE WISE, YOU BE MUMU, 70 YEARS OLD MAN.. EVEN THE ROAD TO....

Mariangeles:
On top 80k salary, you want make she dey drop 10k every month for trust account, 20k for joint account, provide "food supplement", make she still choose between NEPA bill, DSTV, or GOTV subscription...on top wetin?
Oga, how much wan remain to take buy clothes, cosmetics and toiletries for herself na (cos e sure me dai say you no fit buy those things for her), not to talk of find her parents something? Unto say she marry you?

Abeg! Carry your wahala go front!

aktolly54:
the bit.ch will come back begging after years of trying, she might married another guy but at first things will be Rossy while in the middle of their marriage,she will cry bitterly IF SHE HAD KNOWN.

BACK TO YOUR COMMENT, you expect op to just carry everything on his head if he's ready to marry?

SoapQueen:


Makes sense and quite logical. But oga, maybe when you visit a labor ward and come back, you'll know that Women are trying.

Being a mom takes a toll on you mentally, physically, spiritually, emotionally, and all.

It's unfair to put financial pressure on a woman. This doesn't go to say the woman will not use her discretion to "come through" for some expenses.

I have friends who are still depressed and somewhat suicidal after birthing babies.




Personally, would I be a stay-at-home wife? Nope.

I'll work extra, extra hard.
And would contribute without being forced or pressured.

Animegirl:


You don't even know "woman's need", that's why you did that rubbish list. That 80k, isn't enough as a lady talkless of family. Unless you want her to look like an hag, in her husband's house.

Worst, you haven't even settled down yet, you're placing small responsibilities on her head. Be calming down na.

If you want something like this, better find another woman who is willing to contribute to the family with higher earnings.

Twoclans:
I really wish more women can voice out ,everytime I log into nairaland and see all this small boys abi small men saying Nugerian women do not contribute to the family i usually ask myself if it is this same Nigeria that I see alot of women hustling and fending for their homes completely with the man being a complete liability.

The nature of my job puts me on the move always ,as it is I have three apartments in different states and I know what I see almost on a daily basis.

I really do not think any woman should be shamed because she refused to contribute to a home that she could be driven away from the next minute especially in this country that does not protect women at all.

NairaMaster1:


The OP is a gold digger and irresponsible.