myfantasies:
Guy if you bring this before me , I will walk away....

I earn 80k per month
My transport fare per day is 1,200 to 1,400
Feeding morning and afternoon 800
I recharge my phone
Get data for my phone 3500
Sub dstv 7900 every month end
I get gas ... No specific amount depends on how we use it
I get my toiletries for the month
I will make my hair
I still give mumsy and popsy little change
And I still do other expenses in the house

I can't remember the last time I bought maybe clothe or shoes for myself , cos at the end of all these expenses I am left with nothing, no savings , NOTHING.

I think you should try another different approach, try and see if you can help her get a better job or ask her if she can try side hustle, at least that will be bringing in little change.

Things are hard , the economy is not smiling, married couples need to have good income before they will start thinking of saving for this and that.

You talk about taking care of your parents and younger siblings from the money you earn which consequently means that you are not obligated to contribute financially to your marital home, which some other ladies have also said is the part of the reasons why they shouldn't contribute.....this man wey marry una, shebi im no get mama and papa and younger siblings Like which kind selfish and foolish reasoning be this sef wey I dey see so?

The whole conclusion of the matter be say most girls no dey marry whom they love. Na person wey dey ready dem dey follow for the sake of Mrs. title. But thank God for some of us wey go dey lucky to find person wey really love us. I will keep saying it "Love and giving...they go hand in hand. "

But then, an idea just struck. Instead of entering an "unnecessary and loveless" union because you want to avoid of stigma of life-spinsterhood, why not start a social campaign against the institution of marriage? Seriously, I'd be number one supporter of such campaign. It's better than succumbing to societal pressure only to go into the Union and mess things up. Make everybody dey their dey with their respective families

The way I see it...
50% bills = 50% house chores
80% bills = 20% house chores
20% bills = 80% house chores
0% bills =100% house chores
Anything outside this is a scam

At topic, the man that is bearing all this load what is he gaining from being married to her at the end of the day? He might as well have a babymama and still spend less. It's either she contributes to the house upkeep substantially or she quits her job to become a full time house wife.

SoapQueen:

Untrue. You'd be shocked to see the number of women picking up bills in their homes. Funny thing is that they don't even complain

I like to make sound arguments Ma. See link and screenshot…
https://www.google.com/amp/s/businessday.ng/amp/bd-weekender/article/meet-wevvo-nigeria/

Nyenatetan:



Alright,
So how do you define Marriage ,

or

what do you understand when they say a man has found his missing rib.

ask your parents or your teacher when you resume have a nice dreams. Bye

OP, I don't know if you have made up your mind or not, but let me offer you a brotherly advise as a marred man. I earn about the same amount as you, but my wife doesn't earn up to 50k from her struggling business, thereby making me shoulder all the financial burden. Baba, it is not easy. With the turn of things in the country please listen and listen well, don't wife a lady who would lay claim on your money while her money is hers alone. Na sure way to depression be that.

As she waka go her way, just let her be. Enjoy your bachelorhood and marry only when you meet that woman that has sense of responsibility.

She would be left with about 40k every month: 50%.

He would be left with less than 50%. Rent will probably take min 20k a month; car maintenance/fuel would take probs 50k a month; if hire purchase, maybe 100k.

Mariangeles:
On top 80k salary, you want make she dey drop 10k every month for trust account, 20k for joint account, provide "food supplement", make she still choose between NEPA bill, DSTV, or GOTV subscription...on top wetin?
Oga, how much wan remain to take buy clothes, cosmetics and toiletries for herself na (cos e sure me dai say you no fit buy those things for her), not to talk of find her parents something? Unto say she marry you?

Abeg! Carry your wahala go front!

Ybaby:


You did not complete the sharing OP so let me help you:

So the children and yourself will combine both her surname and yours.

for example
Your name: Mr Lanre Lawal
Her name: Miss Tinu Agbe

The changes after marriage :

Mr Lanre Agbe Lawal
Mrs Tinu Agbe Lawal

the children:

Master Segun Agbe Lawal
Miss Kemi Agbe Lawal

You will carry the pregnancy of Master Segun Agbe Lawal and of cos breastfeed till the age of 1 and half years

She will carry the preganncy of Miss Kemi Agbe Lawal and of cos breatfeed her till the age of 1 and half years.

There are 4 weeks in a month -
You cook in week 1 and week 3and do all house chores
She will cook in week 2 and week 4 and so all house chores


Night duties
You will bend over and she will strap on and enter you - a n a l for week 1 and week 3
She will bend over and you will enter her - p u s s y for week 2 and week 4

If you have flat tyre she will change it and next time she has flat tyre you will change it

If I remember any more I will add it.


Ra gba ki ra gbe.... buy mattress I buy rug.... a partnership

Very smart girl for running kitti kitti and running kata kata.... it reach to run!!

Eventually, you came up with no logical rebuttal. Pregnancy? Surname? Same old trashy reasons that entitled lots regurgitate to make financial wreckage vis-a-vis overloads of men. Pregnancy is a divinely bestowed biological responsibility. The Man contributes the sperm, principal support (psychological, emotional and physical) during pregnancy, but we don't hear noises. Besides, why would the Man even agree to contribute 70% in the first place if not because he recognizes his headship of the home and has decided to shoulder the main part of the bills?

The world has evolved and it's becoming increasingly difficult for the man alone to achieve the financial security of the home. Any woman not in cognizance of this may be a career leech seeking solace in outdated traditions or impracticable options

Funkybabee:
You are very funny with that vacation, vacation ko, plantation ni

You sound so strict to me, she need to think her head before saying I do

You can't let her start saving dine without being legally married yet

20k vacation
10k bill
Gotv e.tc

She will buy herself clothes
Monthly pad
Hair
Make up things
Undies
Parents at least 5k each to father and mother
Transportation to her working place
Her siblings, like if she has Junior sis like we now e.t.c and many things

So she should not save abi

I think you need to get her a better job because no woman will want to commit to that unless she's old and desperate to marry omo it's not easy

All this things u listed her both the guy too will also face it.
he will buy herself clothes
Hair cut
Cream
Undies
Parents at least 5k each to father and mother
Transportation to her working place
Her siblings, like if she has Junior sis like we now e.t.c and many things

I hope the OP sees this and listens!

JC2021:
OP, I don't know if you have made up your mind or not, but let me offer you a brotherly advise as a marred man. I earn about the same amount as you, but my wife doesn't earn up to 50k from her struggling business, thereby making me shoulder all the financial burden. Baba, it is not easy. With the turn of things in the country please listen and listen well, don't wife a lady who would lay claim on your money while her money is hers alone. Na sure way to depression be that.

As she waka go her way, just let her be. Enjoy your bachelorhood and marry only when you meet that woman that has sense of responsibility.

Jeferious:
You talk about taking care of your parents and younger siblings from the money you earn which consequently means that you are not obligated to contribute financially to your marital home, which some other ladies have also said is the part of the reasons why they shouldn't contribute.....this man wey marry una, shebi im no get mama and papa and younger siblings Like which kind selfish and foolish reasoning be this sef wey I dey see so?

The whole conclusion of the matter be say most girls no dey marry whom they love. Na person wey dey ready dem dey follow for the sake of Mrs. title. But thank God for some of us wey go dey lucky to find person wey really love us. I will keep saying it "Love and giving...they go hand in hand. "

But then, an idea just struck. Instead of entering an "unnecessary and loveless" union because you want to avoid of stigma of life-spinsterhood, why not start a social campaign against the institution of marriage? Seriously, I'd be number one supporter of such campaign. It's better than succumbing to societal pressure only to go into the Union and mess things up. Make everybody dey their dey with their respective families

simple. Since sharing bills and doing chores is hard for them, make everybody just dae on their own

123readygo:
Hmmmmmm
Your tactless manner of presenting the issue made the lady to runaway....
In my own case, I refused to even know how much my wife was earning before our marriage. Till date, I don't know how much she has and I don't care how she spends her money. I take care of all the expenses in the house including buying a car for her, fueling and maintaining it. The only time I requested for money from her was when I was undergoing two projects simultaneously and at a point I ran out of cash. She gave me 2m and I told her that I'll pay her back with interest and she was very much excited. But the next day she talked anyhow and I transferred back the money to her and collected loan from somewhere else...
I don't like taking shit from anybody including my wife, so I see no reason why someone earning over 3m per annum should be asking his wife to devote 65% of her earnings to running a home.
It is a man's responsibility to take care of his home, the woman is only there as a helper not a family 'co-runner'!!

Your wife get 2M, but you comot outside to collect loan of the same amount? Hey Jesus ....Guy you dey whyne me

bigpicture001:


Do u know I removed health insurance cover which only me will open an account for and it will cover every member of the household including herself .?

300k is not a big money

Bro, you do well .. Don't mind those useless people that want everything to be free and will still get the mouth to call you a lazy man ..

OP God bless you. She isn't ready yet. She will find one yahoo boy that will provide everything for her.

franciskaine:
nice one. The op thinks it's by listing scale of preference and how to foot dem dat makes him learned. You can get ur wife to contribute even more dan 50% of her earnings without she knowing. Just show her you're doing ur best and will fall in line.

Yes oh and if she's a good lady at your time of being broke she may even carry the home on her shoulders with little complains.

Mariangeles:


God go bless you.

You see why I said he's not yet ready to marry?
What does he even know about a woman's needs?
A pack of common sanitary pad now is about #500. I bet he doesn't know that.

Are You Confuse Please? Is Just Asking, I have been following your update since on this thread, what value do you have to offer to someone?

bigpicture001:


Thanks man.. heard from her friend that sh said am too stingy,.

Honestly I didn't make her spend up to 50k from her wage.. 300k is not big and can be exhausted soon..

The weight will be too much if I form the normal Nigerian guy who likes to carry load on their head

It's either you are bad at maths or just plain unintelligent.

You think your so called light food stuff aka daily supplements is small money for an 80k earner? and I am sure the so called supplement food stuff will include meat. The least meat I have bought for a pot of soup is 2k. DStv /gotv/ NEPA bill unkor?,the so called outings unkor?

Guy getat!. I don't even know why you are pained to the extent of bringing it here ,you gave her the devil's deal she quietly rejected it and bounced ,so why the whining. Marriage is not by force na, she is not that desperate to take your deal ,go and look for someone else. Not all proposals must be accepted.

Na boys dey even create threads pass these days, whining and nagging . Mteeeew.

Jeferious:
Your wife get 2M, but you comot outside to collect loan of the same amount? Hey Jesus ....Guy you dey whyne me

Hahahahahaha…some men can be dumb sha! I am sure her name is listed as his next of kin in all his financials. Who knows who her next of kin is

I don't want to be tribalistic with my comment but I dare to say this OP is not from the south east.

The south easterners don't usually have this mentality of my wife contribute this and pay for this and that.

Regardless of how much money the man makes, it's "HIS PRIDE" to ensure his wife and kids are taken care of.

Yes we are in 21st century, feminism bla bla and all that is the vogue now. The typical Igbo boy/man goes into marriage with the mindset that he is the provider.

If the woman contributes, fine but going into marriage with the hope that she will pay for xyz is not how a typical Igbo boy/man was raised.

#Drops pen

dobnina:

Oga, you are selfish. Thank God she left you. You are the head of the family so all the responsibility falls on you.
Will you also share house chores with her? Will you share pregnancy with her? Will you share the stress in the Labour room with her?
You are just being selfish. Man up and take all your responsibility and stop acting like a gigolo.

Ahha

bigpicture00
80k is nothing

myfantasies:
How do you know she is not worried about it, and what made you think I have not been trying to up my game.

Do you think it's easy for any female that is trying to earn a living by doing the right thing?

I can't count how many interviews I have been to, or other financial assistance that people want to assist me with, when it's time to offer me the job ,or the assistance, there is always a price for me to pay. Most times I am tempted to do it, but to what end.

It's not just easy for anyone out there, that is why I said he should have try and see how he can assist her before they go into marriage.

True.

Las las, if a man and his woman cannot have a matured discussion about the family finances, then they are just deceiving themselves. That union is dead on arrival already….

patoski39:
simple. Since sharing bills and doing chores is hard for them, make everybody just dae on their own

Brotherman, these people wan chop their cake and still keep the same cake. But I no loose hope. I have seen more reasonable and responsible girls with my two koro-koro eyes. These ones wey dey here dey yan opata, if true true na so them be and no be say dem dey catch cruise for here...o boy real nigga like me no go look their face even once. Aru m na-aso mkpali

Op is gonna make his toddler get a job, buy their own juice boxes, do their own laundry, and contribute to their college fund.

Tobijays:
bro she is not supposed to spend more than 30 percent of her salary to run a home that end in your surname. She will spend on her looks and try to sort her parents out every month plus tithe and offering , money don finish . Bro reduce her her bills for now and try pay for her professional exams for her to earn big too and you too so that 30 percent of both of you income go pass the summation you guys have now !!! Please bro if she is good woman try keep an ooo discuss better with her, ask her much she go drop or want to drop if it is too small try reason her to up her bill because you get lot of engagement wey you dy do wey go benefits una 2 . Please bro it is takes massive wisdom and patience to to run a home ooooo.

Are you married?

pompeiimagnus:


Hahahahahaha…some men can be dumb sha! I am sure her name is listed as his next of kin in all his financials. Who knows who her next of kin is

Bros that manchi na comedian. I no believe am at all. Im dey Jones us

bigpicture001:


Thanks man.. heard from her friend that sh said am too stingy,.

Honestly I didn't make her spend up to 50k from her wage.. 300k is not big and can be exhausted soon..

The weight will be too much if I form the normal Nigerian guy who likes to carry load on their head

You're actually stingy. I could deduce from your original post that you are not only very stingy but you are not smart enough to set SMART goals. I also think you're quite selfish and would rather have it your way or the high way.

Good thing she took the highway.

You've told us the story from the angle that portrays your ex as a liability but some of us are not as gullible as you imagined.

Take my advise.

1. Increase your income
2. Find a partner with a higher earning power.
3. Learn to be considerate and selfless.

PS: if you don't work on your weaknesses, you may be lucky enough to find a woman who'd put up with you TEMPORARILY.

Jeferious:
Brotherman, these people wan chop their cake and still keep the same cake. But I no loose hope. I have seen more reasonable and responsible girls with my two koro-koro eyes. These ones wey dey here dey yan opata, if true true na so them be and no be say dem dey catch cruise for here...o boy real nigga like me no go look their face even once. Aru m na-aso mkpali

I no sure if them dae joke o. I know like two of them ferminists here for Facebook and naso them dae bash men up and down o. Though when I try hookup with one, she been act nice but e no workout coz she dae far from me,,
make I no talk sha

I’m not the OP but I’m an Igbo man. While we do not necessarily mind if our wives would support financially, most successful Igbo men marry financially prudent wives. In fact we find a way of involving her in the family business so she can learn the trade and see firsthand what it takes to be the breadwinner. This involves having matured financial discussions with our wives. This lady swiftly ran from even having that discussion in the first place!

chukzyfcbb:
I don't want to be tribalistic with my comment but I dare to say this OP is not from the south east.

The south easterners don't usually have this mentality of my wife contribute this and pay for this and that.

Regardless of how much money the man makes, it's "HIS PRIDE" to ensure his wife and kids are taken care of.

Yes we are in 21st century, feminism bla bla and all that is the vogue now. The typical Igbo boy/man goes into marriage with the mindset that he is the provider.

If the woman contributes, fine but going into marriage with the hope that she will pay for xyz is now how a typical Igbo boy/man was raised.

#Drops pen

Jeferious:
Your wife get 2M, but you comot outside to collect loan of the same amount? Hey Jesus ....Guy you dey whyne me

The guy na phool and he's proud about his stupidity. Borrowed 2M from your wife and she started complaining within 24hrs. He's claiming to be man but he's actually not a man.

The women that trained the men on nairaland all failed as mothers. Gosh!

[quote author=bigpicture001 post=109048153]My girlfriend whom I have planned to settle down with simply started acting cold and eventually stylishly slide out of our relationship because I sat her down and made a family financial support proposal to her in which she will be financially committed to running the proposed family we intend to raise.

[/quot

The truth of the matter is no woman would want to hear this kind of thing. You are not yet married you have started dividing bills. It sends a wrong signal to the woman. It is a man's responsibility to provide for his family. You don't need to spell it out, a good wife knows she must support her husband.

Oga don't let anyone deceive you here ooo. No woman would agree with this thing you are carrying upandan.