bigpicture001:


Thanks man.. heard from her friend that sh said am too stingy,.

Honestly I didn't make her spend up to 50k from her wage.. 300k is not big and can be exhausted soon..

The weight will be too much if I form the normal Nigerian guy who likes to carry load on their head

Ladycewhy:
Nope I am not mad at planning finances but the way and manner is the problem.

Infact the op comes off as lacking empathy. Now
The both of them work and contribute to the house ,the both go through work stress regardless of the salary ,so let me ask would the op be open to sharing the chores and taking care of the kids as well? Will the op be open to going to the market to get groceries ?

If we even do the maths ,the lady might end up spending her entire salary ,the least meat I have bought for just small stew is 2k and for someone full of himself like the op he will not want to repeat one meal twice a day, he says she will take care of food supplement ,but buying 2k meat per pot is not "light " she never buy stock fish and other medemede.

She is also going to be paying cable subscription o,you sef check am na. I am sure she has done the maths and gave it a thought.l sincerely hope she meets some more reasonable ,cos the fact that she turned down the deal doesn't make her a less wife material .

FBS:

How much?

Bonjovi13:
I'm sorry man. You are not ready to be a husband.
The first rule of a successful marriage is that you don't plan with your wife's money. A woman's money is her money. Your money is the family's money.

Have that mind set and don't let fear of being stressed or broke rule you.

Before a woman will trust you with her money,you must have earned that trust based on how well you take care of the family and being financially prudent and responsible.

You cannot just expect her to submit her money to the common purse when you have not proven yourself.
Besides look at the pressure you are putting on her even before you have married her. All those bills inside 80k. She has to even buy her clothes. LMAO!!!

Guy,chill out. Next time when you get into a serious relationship with a woman,let her see you being responsible and generous to her and then allow her to decide what she would do with her funds to help out. But never plan on her money or worse still suggest what she would bring.

bigpicture001:


Do u know I removed health insurance cover which only me will open an account for and it will cover every member of the household including herself .?

300k is not a big money

No oo.. I don't sleep at home oo... I work at a bet9ja shop, just that the money is too poor.. I HV been targeting to play game and win millions or maybe carry my oga money nd run and from there start my dream to catch Elon musk....

What do you think

Nedstar:
And what is wrong in her buying her own cloths?
Look at the way you put like it’s a big deal..

Twoclans:
I really wish more women can voice out ,everytime I log into nairaland and see all this small boys abi small men saying Nugerian women do not contribute to the family i usually ask myself if it is this same Nigeria that I see alot of women hustling and fending for their homes completely with the man being a complete liability.

The nature of my job puts me on the move always ,as it is I have three apartments in different states and I know what I see almost on a daily basis.

I really do not think any woman should be shamed because she refused to contribute to a home that she could be driven away from the next minute especially in this country that does not protect women at all.

seunfly:

@Bolded, I don't know op but I don't think those responsibilities falls only on the wife, majority of men are already doing this.
Let me give you instance, I stays in a compound of four occupants and majority of times I hears my neahbour in the kitchen just the same time I'm in the kitchen, we all meet at laundry point together and we gist about politics, economy and latest business in town at Laundry point.
The grocery is done now adays by men or both husband and wife, u needs to go to super markets to see what I'm saying even local market is full of men or u see men stand by the car while women goes in to buy.

To be honest, I don't know the kind of men some ladies roll with but in my circle, homes, friends, environment all u mentioned are not exclusively women's thing again.

On the issue of meat, the op said he will buy food in bulk which is what I do, do u care to know exactly what he will buy in bulk? Meat, fish, chicken can also be bought in bulk and the supplement could be some things that got exhausted before the next bulk purchase which could even be rice not necessarily meat.

What I see here is small mind, if op's list was interpreted by me, he has done majority of the house spending but all this depends on mind set. I noticed women buys things in small quantity all the time while men buys things in large quantity once every 3 months or so, this might affect ur interpretations or op's girlfriend interpretation, it took my wife quite a while before she got used to bulk purchase of food stuff including meat or any thing at all.
Infact op's list is more or less our list in my house except the vacation things, my wife supplement the food stuff pending the time I will make d next bulk purchase.

On cable subscription, yes my wife pays for it even though it was not mandated by me I normally pays 6 to 12 months advanced subscription and when dstv messed up my subscription by mismanaged my advanced payment I vow never to give dstv my money again and I downgraded to only cartoon channels for my kids but she picked it up because it affects her own entertainment.

Like I v said, this things is mind set, any lady that have a big mindset will care to know the details of op's list before she bolt because if I interprete op's list, the ladies do be very happy totaled the responsibility except the vacation thing.

ivolt:
The OP said this about 2 months ago.


The OP wrote a fiction. He does not earn 300K. His imaginary girlfriend could only
have ran because she is tired of carrying all his responsibilities.

Bonjovi13:
I'm sorry man. You are not ready to be a husband.
The first rule of a successful marriage is that you don't plan with your wife's money. A woman's money is her money. Your money is the family's money.

Have that mind set and don't let fear of being stressed or broke rule you.

Before a woman will trust you with her money,you must have earned that trust based on how well you take care of the family and being financially prudent and responsible.

You cannot just expect her to submit her money to the common purse when you have not proven yourself.
Besides look at the pressure you are putting on her even before you have married her. All those bills inside 80k. She has to even buy her clothes. LMAO!!!

Guy,chill out. Next time when you get into a serious relationship with a woman,let her see you being responsible and generous to her and then allow her to decide what she would do with her funds to help out. But never plan on her money or worse still suggest what she would bring.

pompeiimagnus:
Lmao….just wow!

BigBashiru:


Those so called responsibilities are old fashioned.... if we are to go the old way tthe woman would not even go to school..... why then did she spend 4yrrs in school....

na2016:


A woman requires more money to care for herself than a man. This amount varies for different women and when you add all those to what OP just wrote, you will notice that he doesn't want that lady to have any personal funds. Won't she be giving her parents something from time to time? Must she always ask him for such? Op may have good intentions but even if the best lady accepts this proposition, she will revolt later.

ivolt:

You are free to marry off your underage child. In fact, majority of your people still do it.
But you can't tell other parents how to raise their kids.

pompeiimagnus:
Lmao…in Western societies why do you think people get prenuptial agreements before getting married
Especially when one partner clearly has more to lose financially
You really think if the lady was the one making 300k she wouldn’t have this discussion with him
Try dey reason before you respond sha, it’s not that hard.

Ladycewhy:
Details? Lol,you are not the op, so why are you assuming on his behalf, it's not in your place to determine heavy or light food stuff the op is talking about neither are you in the position to tell us a person like the op that is full of himself will cook and clean

Mr man , I don't know why all of you boys seem to be whining tho? Isn't this a proposal? She has the right to turn it down, you boys are acting like she was obligated to accept the proposal or something?

As far as the op was quick to list the finances and not the chores ,it's a red flag and a bad deal.


Again I will repeat for draft ones to hear,that she turned down the deal doesn't make her less of a wife material,she doesn't have to use her 80k to live the standard of a 300k earner.He wants her to contribute to vacations abroad , car

BigBashiru:


Shouldn't the man be giving his parents something from time to time.

Mariangeles:
On top 80k salary, you want make she dey drop 10k every month for trust account, 20k for joint account, provide "food supplement", make she still choose between NEPA bill, DSTV, or GOTV subscription...on top wetin?
Oga, how much wan remain to take buy clothes, cosmetics and toiletries for herself na (cos e sure me dai say you no fit buy those things for her), not to talk of find her parents something? Unto say she marry you?

Abeg! Carry your wahala go front!

seunfly:


Like I v said, all this is mind set. If it is from my interpretation, I will gladly accept and if my wife sees this proposal I don't think she will also complain but if people have small mind and roll with similar people they will think in other direction.

We all can't interpret things in the same way, it has to be within our own realm and frame of mind and exposure.

Lollz:
I don't have a problem with you sharing financial responsibilities at all, so long as you're ready to share chores and taking care of the kids with me in a similar proportion. If anything, I think I'd even love it.

sorom4:
I don laugh tire for most comments here.

The truth of the matter be say...do what you think works for you. There is no particular model for every marriage. If you be man and you want to spend all your money in marriage without your wife contributing...go ahead. If you be man and you want your wife to contribute some or all her earnings towards marriage...go ahead. No allow anyone to tell you how you should run your family/marriage. Do what you think that will work for you.

For me oh...I believe that my future wife must contribute 100%. There will not be anything like "my money is only mine and your money is for both of us". Whatever we earn will be jointly pulled together (no matter who earns more) for the success of the family. I have always told her that I am not interested in her money now cos we are not married but mine also belongs to her. But immediately we marry...her money ceases to be hers alone but ours.

Time don change. The success of the family is for both of us to work towards and not only me

DrFunmisticGlow:
stay single or find a sugar mummy, because you as a man, are not ready for marriage and the responsibility of being the head of the household

na2016:


Bro, my answer to you is to put yourself as a woman, and if you were her brother or sister and think of how you will feel.

BigBashiru:


18 yrs old isn't uunderrage which is the age of university.

U didn't answer the question: IF SHE IS GOING TO STILL DEPEND ON A MAN THEEN WHY GO TO UNIVERSITY??

Ladycewhy:
There are women who don't mind handing over their entire salary to their husbands , does that mean other women who dont are not wife material.

Your wife is your wife ,to each his own ,it doesn't make your wife better than any other woman out there.

If you say turning down such a deal and not making assumptions like you are obviously doing is lack of exposure ,I will gladly be non-exposed ,but also remember that assumptions is for fools and not a smart thinking to carry around.

BigBashiru:


This makes no sense I don't understand. Pls explain.... also put urself in the guys shoes how will that make him feel...

MansoryMX:



A woman with vision will agree to your plan, a materialistic woman won’t. Go church go do thanksgiving to the God you serve, if you be Muslim go thank Allah, if you get shrine! Buy the gods one goat and thank them. I rest my case

ivolt:

Only a dumb woman would agree to this slavery plan.
People who earn 80K never plan for big vacation, they spend according to their needs.
The OP draw a wish list and he wants and wants to force her to fund his lifestyle.
What he should have done is research the lifestyle of couple's who earns 80K and
then divide the responsibilities equally.

bigpicture001:
My girlfriend whom I have planned to settle down with simply started acting cold and eventually stylishly slide out of our relationship because I sat her down and made a family financial support proposal to her in which she will be financially committed to running the proposed family we intend to raise...

These are the proposal...

1. She earns about 80k wile I earn about 300k.. I asked that we jointly contribute for all the children's Career funding starting from when we get married even before any of their birth.. I proposed 10k monthly from her and 40k from me to a trust account. From it we plan to fund all the children's Career from kiddagatten to varsity or which ever path they choose..

2. That sh choose between Nepa bill or DStv or gotv sub monthly..just one for her

3. I will be responsible for rents

4. We pay into another joint account for vacation once in two years..like sh puts in 20k I put in 50k monthly..

5. I provide all the heavy food stuffs required in the house in large quantities including gas ND change of electronics, but sh provide all the daily food supplements to mk mine complete.

6. She buys her clothes ND I buy mine but we can both surprise ourselfs with gift to the other..

7. I will buy the family car ND maintain it. If she buys no p.

8. I didn't rule out surprise gifts once a while and outting which I bankroll ND expect her to do same occasionally..

Plz oo nairalanders are these responsibilities to a wife too much for her, I mean one who works and earn over 50k...?