JusCuri0us:


Real men spoil their women

Abi oo.
Tell us wetin real women they do?

Na 30k max she fit drop from the salary

bigpicture001:
My girlfriend whom I have planned to settle down with simply started acting cold and eventually stylishly slide out of our relationship because I sat her down and made a family financial support proposal to her in which she will be financially committed to running the proposed family we intend to raise...

These are the proposal...

1. She earns about 80k wile I earn about 300k.. I asked that we jointly contribute for all the children's Career funding starting from when we get married even before any of their birth.. I proposed 10k monthly from her and 40k from me to a trust account. From it we plan to fund all the children's Career from kiddagatten to varsity or which ever path they choose..

2. That sh choose between Nepa bill or DStv or gotv sub monthly..just one for her

3. I will be responsible for rents

4. We pay into another joint account for vacation once in two years..like sh puts in 20k I put in 50k monthly..

5. I provide all the heavy food stuffs required in the house in large quantities including gas ND change of electronics, but sh provide all the daily food supplements to mk mine complete.

6. She buys her clothes ND I buy mine but we can both surprise ourselfs with gift to the other..

7. I will buy the family car ND maintain it. If she buys no p.

8. I didn't rule out surprise gifts once a while and outting which I bankroll ND expect her to do same occasionally..

Plz oo nairalanders are these responsibilities to a wife too much for her, I mean one who works and earn over 50k...?

And all of them are searching for responseble man ...And they don't want to be a responseble women..
But this Bros no well ..I call it team work.

Mariangeles:
On top 80k salary, you want make she dey drop 10k every month for trust account, 20k for joint account, provide "food supplement", make she still choose between NEPA bill, DSTV, or GOTV subscription...on top wetin?
Oga, how much wan remain to take buy clothes, cosmetics and toiletries for herself na (cos e sure me dai say you no fit buy those things for her), not to talk of find her parents something? Unto say she marry you?

Abeg! Carry your wahala go front!

See stupid questions you're asking tomorrow you will come here and be claiming redpiller or whatever you guys are claiming , the only the lady should done is to discuss it with him

Honestly, this matter get as e be for multiple reasons.

On one hand, your plan is actually solid and reasonable

On the other hand, it's really 80k. If she comot 30k for trust and vacations, then starts removing 1,500-3,000 for small groceries like milk, bread, egg, sugar, flour, butter, how much will be left?

Bear in mind, she will also have to buy things like sanitary pads, soap, body cream and such for her personal hygiene, even though these items may not be regularly bought. If she is into skin care, all those cleansers and moisturisers are another expense, not to talk of making her hair monthly with her own money. If person wan braid with attachment now, at least 6k don comot from your pocket.

I see why she would be wary, but I do not see why she will run away. That's not a very adult thing to do, except she don dey find reason to run since, and this your action just gave her one.

Either way, maybe both of you are not for each other. So, find someone who makes more than 80k/month and then drop your financial plan, because it really is a solid plan.

Abfinest007:
You should have asked her in what way , will she support you ,not you dividing it .you can even make a list of all the expenses then let her chose

This is marriage not gf and bf oga , what he did is very nice in fact people that hasnot married should learn from it

Animegirl:


You don't even know "woman's need", that's why you did that rubbish list. That 80k, isn't enough as a lady talkless of family. Unless you want her to look like an hag, in her husband's house.

Worst, you haven't even settled down yet, you're placing small responsibilities on her head. Be calming down na.

If you want something like this, better find another woman who is willing to contribute to the family with higher earnings.

Who let the dogs out?
You are so shameless with even pride

Calebility:
Chairman why not ask her to suggest her own way of supporting the family first.
That will help you to tell the kind of person you're dealing with.

Your money is her money, her money is hers and hers alone.

Support? They want equal rights and you're asking her on how to support the family?

Kaybex007:
I've read some comments where people wrote that the salary is too small for such expenses. Let's look at it this way, what if the man looses his job and couldn't find one for more than a year, won't she take care of the house with the 80k you call little. I know a wealthy old man whom I thought with his his level of wealth and connection, he should be the only financier of the family, to the greatest shock of my life someone close to him told me he had an agreement with his wife which was, I take care of anything that has to do with the kids while you take care of every other thing about the family and now all the kids are graduates. I also had a street sister whose husband lost his job for over a year and was the bread winner throughout the period. What I expect ladies to pray for is a man who is hardworking, and most importantly appreciates what the lady's contributions, nothing is too big for one's family.

Hope we all haven't forgotten the story of a mam who sent his wife packing all because he saw 3milion naira in his wife account and their child died of sickness which they needed 25k. this all happened because the wife was thinking "my husband should be able to get this money, afterall he is the head of the family", now the child is dead and the husband sent her packing.

Some might say I'm saying this because I'm a man but it's not, even if we are willing to dodge from this the economic situation we find ourselves today will prompt us, back in the days our elders will say why are they working if not for their children, so that their children can return the care to them when they are old same way.

Another instance was when my dad had a surgery and couldn't work for a year and some months, whose money do you think was being spent on the house throughout that period, it was my mum's money.

Nothing is too much to contribute in our marriage, what matters is having a partner who values all our efforts.

Peace be unto everyone.

If he loses his job and she has to take care of the family with 80k, that means they will have to find who they will beg for extra cash occasionally, because 80k will not take care of any family in Nigeria today. And I mean family with children, not just man and wife.

I live with my sister, and I take care of house expenses on occassion, especially with some of the groceries, and I spend nothing less than 20-25k/month. Whenever my sister goes to get food stuff, na 30k dey comot from her pocket, and eventually the items fit no last the entire month, so we have to supplement

Inflation is high, cost of everything rises on a weekly basis these days, and that is why most people work multiple jobs or find multiple streams of income. Nigeria today is not the same as Nigeria of 5 years ago sef, how much more 20 years ago, because this joke example about this man and his wife, E sure me die say they are not a young couple, and things were much easier when they started.

Let us remember to consider the different realities of the times when making certain comparisons. When my mama and papa marry, dem been dey sell egg for #10 or less, so, I no fit use their time take compare with now.

pompeiimagnus:


Lmao….na you finish work abeg!

FBS:

You watch too many movies.

2 Broke guys.

If that lady is getting 500k per month , she will never support u. Period

You are a man.

That is what I supposed to have done.
Now even if she buys anything.
I must pay back

OP should make his financial plan by percentage.

The girl provides 40% of her salary and he provides 60% of his salary. Plan with that. Whatever that money cannot buy leave it

Scrap the vacation idea. Someone earning 80k should NOT be thinking of going on vacation.

Qatar2022:

This is marriage not gf and bf oga , what he did is very nice in fact people that hasnot married should learn from it

In fact, my brother, i wish i knew about nairaland before i got married in 2015

First of all, you need to understand that in marriage the financial responsibilities of the home lies with the man. That's why he's called a husband. The wife can support you willingly but it's never her responsibility. She's a home maker, not a finance bringer. That's why bible was very clear that any man who can't take care of his family is worse than an infidel. Your approach of trying to make it look like finance is also her responsibility was probably what put her off. You don't do such things with a lady you would call a wife because it gives the signal that you might not be financially man enough to be called a husband. That's why the word husband goes with a lot of prestige and responsibility that it's never reserved for boys.
And finally, let me tell you that even if a woman earns one billion naira a month it'd still be difficult for her to release it. She'd most likely spend it on her needs and allow the husband to still perform his financial responsibilities of the house. Women are naturally wired that way because the the moment they start taking up finances as responsibilities in the house you will look like an impotent man to them and sooner lose the respect they have for you. I think your approach was grossly wrong. I wouldn't encourage any man to do what you did. If you're not financially ready please don't get married! Don't allow your wife to take up your job as the man of the house or you'd lose her to another man who's capable.

Phonix2020:
You are a man.

That is what I supposed to have done.
Now even if she buys anything.
I must pay back

It's like both of us are sitting on the same old bench.

Mariangeles:
On top 80k salary, you want make she dey drop 10k every month for trust account, 20k for joint account, provide "food supplement", make she still choose between NEPA bill, DSTV, or GOTV subscription...on top wetin?
Oga, how much wan remain to take buy clothes, cosmetics and toiletries for herself na (cos e sure me dai say you no fit buy those things for her), not to talk of find her parents something? Unto say she marry you?

Abeg! Carry your wahala go front!

you de talk trash. It's hard to keep to these plans, but should have accepted and flowed with it to get married first. The man himself will throw away this financial plan away when marriage reality sets in. But she blew it up and revealed her true self up to her potential husband.

BigBashiru:


a woman can negotiate zero financial contribution from ages 19 - 25 based on their attractiveness alone which will lure men to pay it all (men are ready and will do anything to have thoose girls).... but they dont want to commit at that age. so tell me why i should be paying the bills of a fully grown 32 year old woman in the name of wife.... it aint happening.... when you get married at 28:

1. you must bring money in contribution to the household.
2. the guy is free to have younger girlfriends... shikena!

Bigbashiru with a big mindset......

I hail oooooo....

sgtponzihater1:
She did well to run away. Why divide a fellow human beings money for them? Most of those things are your responsibility, it's up to your wife to decide how to support you.

I am planning for my children's education ahead. My wife does not look like she will support though she earns more than 15 times of what your fiancée earns. Yet as a man you must grind on

You don't have to drag everyone into your mess. That's no grinding and from your previous post you are not happy with your family situation and don't use that as a yardstick for others.

Ladycewhy:
It's either you are bad at maths or just plain unintelligent.

You think your so called light food stuff aka daily supplements is small money for an 80k earner? and I am sure the so called supplement food stuff will include meat. The least meat I have bought for a pot of soup is 2k. DStv /gotv/ NEPA bill unkor?,the so called outings unkor?

Guy getat!. I don't even know why you are pained to the extent of bringing it here ,you gave her the devil's deal she quietly rejected it and bounced ,so why the whining. Marriage is not by force na, she is not that desperate to take your deal ,go and look for someone else. Not all proposals must be accepted.

Na boys dey even create threads pass these days, whining and nagging . Mteeeew.

All these nairaland bitter feminist, but why the thing com pain u pass the lady wen u nor even sabi?

FBS:

How do you know that I have not been in a labour room multiple times?

This is strictly biology to a larger extent. You have done nothing to be a woman, on the contrary, you were born a woman and blessed to be able to carry a pregnancy.

Now if you say children upbringing, then both parties have a role to play but what does have to do with OP's plan in your context of carrying belle?

Shebi you sabi share responsibilities

Share everything equally now!

A woman after going through pain that "biologically" changes her body, will wake up early, cook, wash plates and clothes, clean the house, prepare the children e. t. c and you think she's not doing enough

Why is it that some of you talk like kids

God forbids I overload my wife!

Not just because she's my wife! She is first a human being!

dingbang:
my brother you and I know very well that finance is a very major factor in marriage especially for people living urban areas.

Yes it is, but should it be the sole consideration? That is my worry. I understand finance plays a major factor, but then mutual love, respect and compatibility should also. They are just as important as finances, or else u jump in and jump out. If a man is financially capable, then a lady who is also earning enough should be an added advantage, not a major factor.

Acidosis:


Your loss, dear. Use that 80k to pay rent, feed, pay utility bills, transportation, etc.

When you are due for marriage with this kind of mentality let's see which lady will be ready to cope with you. Should a woman render support? YES but put burden on her.

YxngLionKing:


You are an endangered specie
The kind of woman this OP deserves

PS: Reasonable people make their reasons known when necessary

And your own specie is what?
Please.
You don't know the details about their relationship so stop!

bigpicture001:
My girlfriend whom I have planned to settle down with simply started acting cold and eventually stylishly slide out of our relationship because I sat her down and made a family financial support proposal to her in which she will be financially committed to running the proposed family we intend to raise...

These are the proposal...

1. She earns about 80k wile I earn about 300k.. I asked that we jointly contribute for all the children's Career funding starting from when we get married even before any of their birth.. I proposed 10k monthly from her and 40k from me to a trust account. From it we plan to fund all the children's Career from kiddagatten to varsity or which ever path they choose..

2. That sh choose between Nepa bill or DStv or gotv sub monthly..just one for her

3. I will be responsible for rents

4. We pay into another joint account for vacation once in two years..like sh puts in 20k I put in 50k monthly..

5. I provide all the heavy food stuffs required in the house in large quantities including gas ND change of electronics, but sh provide all the daily food supplements to mk mine complete.

6. She buys her clothes ND I buy mine but we can both surprise ourselfs with gift to the other..

7. I will buy the family car ND maintain it. If she buys no p.

8. I didn't rule out surprise gifts once a while and outting which I bankroll ND expect her to do same occasionally..

Plz oo nairalanders are these responsibilities to a wife too much for her, I mean one who works and earn over 50k...?

you need a supportive wife and not a leech and I think those bills are fair enough ( if you plan to keep to your own end of the bargain) but since she has ran away she has already shown you shes a fair weather wife.i appreciate as you started out with honesty but from the look of things she's obviously not ready for the financial commitments of marriage.please look for a more serious minded woman possibly a professional.like a medical doctor,teacher or buisnness woman

The salary no balance. With your salary you should be able to get a bigger lady. The only problem overlook beautiful.

jditimiya:
Bros i swear with my balls i will do likewise to my babe, let me see who will stay and run. To me is a nice plan

I think the bills and splitting is fair and reasonable enough.if she's prudent and can save I think that Should be enough and if the guy sticks to his own END OF THE AGREEMENT O.NO BE SAY HE GO ENTER MARRIAGE FINISH AND STORY GO CHANGE

proclinician:


Men and women no equal again? Hypocrites.

there's a difference between equality and neutrality.

An orange can never be equal to an apple

vincentjk:



All these nairaland bitter feminist, but why the thing com pain u pass the lady wen u nor even sabi?

In all sincerity if a woman is serious minded and knows what she's doing I think the splitting is fair enough and stop calling those ones bitter feminists.they are not even feminists they're leeches and where is "the future is female" Aunty

Mariangeles:
On top 80k salary, you want make she dey drop 10k every month for trust account, 20k for joint account, provide "food supplement", make she still choose between NEPA bill, DSTV, or GOTV subscription...on top wetin?
Oga, how much wan remain to take buy clothes, cosmetics and toiletries for herself na (cos e sure me dai say you no fit buy those things for her), not to talk of find her parents something? Unto say she marry you?

Abeg! Carry your wahala go front!

God bless u for dis candid advice. Na guys dem d give us bad name here. She no go help her family again bcus she marry u?