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Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Romance / My Girlfriend Ran Away Because Of My Proposed Family Financial Plan (83510 Views)
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Re: My Girlfriend Ran Away Because Of My Proposed Family Financial Plan by KallmemrB0: 5:23am On Jan 04, 2022 |
bigpicture001:you took out the partnership but became a dictator 3 Likes 1 Share |
Re: My Girlfriend Ran Away Because Of My Proposed Family Financial Plan by placeofallure(f): 5:24am On Jan 04, 2022 |
bigpicture001: Fair enough! However, those seemingly little monies we spend on everyday expenses no be joke o. According to your sharing formula, 30k out of 80 is gone. If we add NEPA or DSTV (maybe compact), plus everyday food supplement, that will be like another 15k or thereabout. More than half of her salary is gone. Now here's the question, how does she get to work? Does she have people looking up to her? What about her personal stuff (ladies' stuff)? She will only be convenient if some of these are taking off of her. This thing is about communication and sacrifice. There will be months you both won't have to spend as much, and there'll be times you'd spend more (family emergencies) Sit her down and really break things down to the genesis. When there is a financial plan like this, you are on your way to financial freedom. I wish you good luck with her. 2 Likes |
Re: My Girlfriend Ran Away Because Of My Proposed Family Financial Plan by lavamaestro(f): 5:28am On Jan 04, 2022 |
bigpicture001: Based on what you wrote, it seems your ex didn't leave you just based on just this budget. It might have been your past behaviors with this topping the bottle. I won't say I'm a feminist but one thing I have always hammered on is equality. There is no problem with you wanting to share bills but bear in mind that you are not getting married to yourself. It's not just your home, it's the both of you home. In everything, wisdom is key. The first thing you should have done is making that list together. You seem to be someone who feels your opinions and ideas are superior to her's hence the reason you decided to sit down alone and make a list of both your futures. It's really funny you did it alone, I mean, this is coming from a guy who wants equal or at least, almost equal contribution. She was supposed to be a life partner so you should have sat down together for the list. Secondly, with this list, it won't be a problem when you are comfortable with designated house chores for you. It shouldn't be a problem if she gives you say for instance, the duty of cleaning the house and taking the kids to school while she does everything else. Bear in mind that you will clean after yourself and wash your clothes. And after birthing the children, provision for her to get her body back in terms of money should be like an equal answer to her carrying a child for nine months and going through excruciating pains to birth it out. I mean, it's both your children. Since you want partnership, why should she be the only one in the business of losing just to bring forth a child? If you see no problem with this, then you are not a selfish person after all. I shake my head at the generation of youth we have today. Shameful, if you ask me. Most women don't want to provide and also don't want to take care of the home and the kids. Most men want to be relieved of the burden of providing but also don't want to help out in house chores and childcare. If everyone relegates their duties to the others, who then will do it? I also saw your comment that you are scared of going for a lady with higher income because of how her attitude might be. Money makes one proud. It takes grace and humility to submit to anyone that earns as much or higher than you do. The lack of money was what made women of the past docile. These days, with women making it for themselves without the need to depend on a man, that respect you crave as the head of house would be hard to get. I for one will not bow or submit to a man just because he is a man if I earn a lot. You may have lost this relationship but use it to reflect on what I said. If house chores were easy, it won't be an occupation that pays. If you can equally take in any chore given to you, then your list would make more sense. Also, if you find a woman with higher income, take the lack of submission if there is as a cup of tea that comes with it. 4 Likes |
Re: My Girlfriend Ran Away Because Of My Proposed Family Financial Plan by zedegit: 5:32am On Jan 04, 2022 |
enonche85: Like I said what he requested is like a woman suggesting having a time table for intimacy: twice a week(Friday and Sunday by 10pm) How will like a woman to suggest you cooking always during weekends? Yes a woman should assist but not like this. Let him ask her instead of imposing it on her. That #80k for your information is nothing in this present economy talkless of removing from it. Some of his demands are ridiculous. It shows autocracy. 1 Like |
Re: My Girlfriend Ran Away Because Of My Proposed Family Financial Plan by Ate247(m): 5:34am On Jan 04, 2022 |
bigpicture001: |
Re: My Girlfriend Ran Away Because Of My Proposed Family Financial Plan by lavamaestro(f): 5:35am On Jan 04, 2022 |
zedegit: My point exactly. A man like him won't want to be assigned house duties. If he can be comfortable with the chores she would assign to him without his input, then there is no problem. Funny he wants partnership for his list that he created alone for their future. Really funny. 2 Likes |
Re: My Girlfriend Ran Away Because Of My Proposed Family Financial Plan by Godmademan(m): 5:36am On Jan 04, 2022 |
Abfinest007:Lmao if she can't accept this proposal then I assume she's planning to opt out of working once she gets married thereby diverting all responsibilities to her husband. Thank God for the man's life. |
Re: My Girlfriend Ran Away Because Of My Proposed Family Financial Plan by jditimiya(m): 5:37am On Jan 04, 2022 |
elonmuskbaby: Bros you no lie, the issues in our days marriages is that most girls just want to come and rest in a mans sweat and forget herself in the house, look at many successful homes both the man and woman is contributing to make the house a home for them. Some girls are born with a mentality that only their father will feed them that is their husband to do the same. |
Re: My Girlfriend Ran Away Because Of My Proposed Family Financial Plan by placeofallure(f): 5:37am On Jan 04, 2022 |
Biggie2000: I understand your argument. The man has tried already. If he can handle that much with just 300k, then he deserves an award for an outstanding prospective husband. The truth is the young people of this generation (both sexes) are whack! I pray a lot for Nigeria if these are the kind of people that will represent her future. The future looks very bleak and gloomy. What's the big deal if he brings the plan? Is the husband not the head anymore? What will happen if you both sit and talk it out? Will any of you die afterwards? If after talking and you still don't agree, you can majestically walk away, none of you is under any oath or compulsion to stay. God grant the OP the wisdom to discern. |
Re: My Girlfriend Ran Away Because Of My Proposed Family Financial Plan by jditimiya(m): 5:39am On Jan 04, 2022 |
lavamaestro:Any man that needs a happy home much and shall help his wife to do the house chores because that will even help the woman to be more productive and make the home a place for all to live in. |
Re: My Girlfriend Ran Away Because Of My Proposed Family Financial Plan by myfantasies(f): 5:39am On Jan 04, 2022 |
Idamond:So is every female in your family. 1 Like 1 Share |
Re: My Girlfriend Ran Away Because Of My Proposed Family Financial Plan by lavamaestro(f): 5:42am On Jan 04, 2022 |
jditimiya:Help. I didn't say help. Since he gave her bills to sort without her input, he would be given chores to do as the woman see fit. This is when it is partnership in op's case. 1 Like 1 Share |
Re: My Girlfriend Ran Away Because Of My Proposed Family Financial Plan by myfantasies(f): 5:44am On Jan 04, 2022 |
Jeferious:It's the beginning of the year, you are not even patient enough to wait before you display how immature you are and how irresponsible you will become to your household. If a he wants a wife that do all what he said, then he should look for someone that is earning as much as him or assist her to find something better to do. 1 Like 1 Share |
Re: My Girlfriend Ran Away Because Of My Proposed Family Financial Plan by tunjilana: 5:49am On Jan 04, 2022 |
You are on track but your approach. Next time try this way. Tell her you have done some research based on older friends and relatives and identified the key needs of a young family..then itemise everything, I mean everything...even ammortise the rent and other bulk payments e.g if ur proposed rent (based on the neighborhood u both wish to live) is 1.2M, then put 100k monthly for rent. Then sum it up and show her the list, tell her that u suggest u both open a joint account where u will put 70 percent of the expenses and she puts 30 percent (you can vary the ratio based on your realities but it shudnt be more than 65/35 or 80/20)....If she cant agree to this approach then she simply isn't marry u with the mindset of contributing....It is best u let her go if u genuinely want a partner and not a woman who just want her needs met and feel marriage will help her achieve that goal...such women are plenty outside, constantly marrying for the wrong reasons but many men won't knw except they try approaches like this....Also b careful with some women who will agree now with the aim of changing it when u get married....there are many calculative women out there... 2 Likes |
Re: My Girlfriend Ran Away Because Of My Proposed Family Financial Plan by Ifogift007: 5:50am On Jan 04, 2022 |
Biggie2000:The last paragraph...got me rolling on the floor |
Re: My Girlfriend Ran Away Because Of My Proposed Family Financial Plan by vickydevoka(m): 5:50am On Jan 04, 2022 |
Mariangeles:It's good the prenuptial was clearly stated. Bcus I see marriage way de use assumption enter the clearly crash. If this kind person marry our second Born she go happy. Buh him must make sure she de see de savings every month.. nothing concern her with marry k n de expensive jewelry. |
Re: My Girlfriend Ran Away Because Of My Proposed Family Financial Plan by tunjilana: 5:51am On Jan 04, 2022 |
lavamaestro: They can get domestic help...besides they will still need it regardless. House work can be outsourced but finance cant |
Re: My Girlfriend Ran Away Because Of My Proposed Family Financial Plan by vickydevoka(m): 5:52am On Jan 04, 2022 |
Mariangeles:To see man way de earn above 300k way no be yahoo boy hardo. If na me I go accept. |
Re: My Girlfriend Ran Away Because Of My Proposed Family Financial Plan by lavamaestro(f): 5:53am On Jan 04, 2022 |
tunjilana: Who will pay? If he is given a duty and he can't meet up, he would pay for that chore to be done by an help. I don't even see any problem with the list, Nigeria isn't going well at all and couples need to put head to support each other financially. I'm just referring to the way he decided their future on his own. If the tables were reversed and she gives him chores to do unfailingly (I'm not saying once in a year support that men usually do), what would be his response or even your response? |
Re: My Girlfriend Ran Away Because Of My Proposed Family Financial Plan by zedegit: 5:54am On Jan 04, 2022 |
Shokoloko: #80k is nothing in this present economy. |
Re: My Girlfriend Ran Away Because Of My Proposed Family Financial Plan by busaribo(m): 5:56am On Jan 04, 2022 |
Really , are you sure some married men are committing suicide because of pleasing their wives. Biggie2000: |
Re: My Girlfriend Ran Away Because Of My Proposed Family Financial Plan by vickydevoka(m): 5:57am On Jan 04, 2022 |
bigpicture001:Stinginess is de way forward for anyone who wants to be responsible In today's economy. I think she's de one stingy here |
Re: My Girlfriend Ran Away Because Of My Proposed Family Financial Plan by vickydevoka(m): 5:59am On Jan 04, 2022 |
Animegirl:Everybody has needs o. Man need pass woman o. She should remain single n spend her money judiciously |
Re: My Girlfriend Ran Away Because Of My Proposed Family Financial Plan by Nobody: 6:00am On Jan 04, 2022 |
Life is absurd. |
Re: My Girlfriend Ran Away Because Of My Proposed Family Financial Plan by vickydevoka(m): 6:00am On Jan 04, 2022 |
blaquebelle:Women don't love unconditionally o.. That's y de will marry ugly rich Man n get pregnant for poor handsome man |
Re: My Girlfriend Ran Away Because Of My Proposed Family Financial Plan by Nobody: 6:02am On Jan 04, 2022 |
Re: My Girlfriend Ran Away Because Of My Proposed Family Financial Plan by Nobody: 6:03am On Jan 04, 2022 |
vickydevoka: No matter how you put it, life doesn't make sense. 1 Like |
Re: My Girlfriend Ran Away Because Of My Proposed Family Financial Plan by vickydevoka(m): 6:04am On Jan 04, 2022 |
aimmoney9:How can a woman's money be hers in this economy. Besides Dem two na workers, de can be sacked anytime. The should have good financial plan n savings. This shows that if the man go broke he will suffer alone. She might leave him self |
Re: My Girlfriend Ran Away Because Of My Proposed Family Financial Plan by myfantasies(f): 6:04am On Jan 04, 2022 |
DrFunmisticGlow: |
Re: My Girlfriend Ran Away Because Of My Proposed Family Financial Plan by vickydevoka(m): 6:04am On Jan 04, 2022 |
Mariangeles:She's not ready either |
Re: My Girlfriend Ran Away Because Of My Proposed Family Financial Plan by adeoladipupo(m): 6:06am On Jan 04, 2022 |
dx can only be a beautiful plan if the lady is non African |
Re: My Girlfriend Ran Away Because Of My Proposed Family Financial Plan by psalmuelwater(m): 6:08am On Jan 04, 2022 |
bigpicture001: Look for a lady that earns above 150k and she’s an orphan, no father, mother and siblings. A lady earning 150k, and has been catering for her family and siblings will still run away with this your foolish plan, continue listening to those hailing you ooo. Some women are the breadwinner in their father’s house, she should drop all those immediately she marry you, so she can be contributing 20k monthly for vacation inside 80k? You are internationally mad...... That lady right there, just dodged a bullet. 2 Likes |
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