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My Girlfriend Ran Away Because Of My Proposed Family Financial Plan - Romance (25) - Nairaland

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Re: My Girlfriend Ran Away Because Of My Proposed Family Financial Plan by KallmemrB0: 5:23am On Jan 04, 2022
bigpicture001:


Thanks man.. heard from her friend that sh said am too stingy,.

Honestly I didn't make her spend up to 50k from her wage.. 300k is not big and can be exhausted soon..

The weight will be too much if I form the normal Nigerian guy who likes to carry load on their head
you took out the partnership but became a dictator

3 Likes 1 Share

Re: My Girlfriend Ran Away Because Of My Proposed Family Financial Plan by placeofallure(f): 5:24am On Jan 04, 2022
bigpicture001:
My girlfriend whom I have planned to settle down with simply started acting cold and eventually stylishly slide out of our relationship because I sat her down and made a family financial support proposal to her in which she will be financially committed to running the proposed family we intend to raise...

These are the proposal...

1. She earns about 80k wile I earn about 300k.. I asked that we jointly contribute for all the children's Career funding starting from when we get married even before any of their birth.. I proposed 10k monthly from her and 40k from me to a trust account. From it we plan to fund all the children's Career from kiddagatten to varsity or which ever path they choose..

2. That sh choose between Nepa bill or DStv or gotv sub monthly..just one for her

3. I will be responsible for rents

4. We pay into another joint account for vacation once in two years..like sh puts in 20k I put in 50k monthly..

5. I provide all the heavy food stuffs required in the house in large quantities including gas ND change of electronics, but sh provide all the daily food supplements to mk mine complete.

6. She buys her clothes ND I buy mine but we can both surprise ourselfs with gift to the other..

7. I will buy the family car ND maintain it. If she buys no p.

8. I didn't rule out surprise gifts once a while and outting which I bankroll ND expect her to do same occasionally..

Plz oo nairalanders are these responsibilities to a wife too much for her, I mean one who works and earn over 50k...?


Fair enough!

However, those seemingly little monies we spend on everyday expenses no be joke o. According to your sharing formula, 30k out of 80 is gone. If we add NEPA or DSTV (maybe compact), plus everyday food supplement, that will be like another 15k or thereabout. More than half of her salary is gone. Now here's the question, how does she get to work? Does she have people looking up to her? What about her personal stuff (ladies' stuff)?

She will only be convenient if some of these are taking off of her. This thing is about communication and sacrifice. There will be months you both won't have to spend as much, and there'll be times you'd spend more (family emergencies) Sit her down and really break things down to the genesis. When there is a financial plan like this, you are on your way to financial freedom. I wish you good luck with her.

2 Likes

Re: My Girlfriend Ran Away Because Of My Proposed Family Financial Plan by lavamaestro(f): 5:28am On Jan 04, 2022
bigpicture001:



Based on what you wrote, it seems your ex didn't leave you just based on just this budget. It might have been your past behaviors with this topping the bottle.
I won't say I'm a feminist but one thing I have always hammered on is equality. There is no problem with you wanting to share bills but bear in mind that you are not getting married to yourself. It's not just your home, it's the both of you home. In everything, wisdom is key.
The first thing you should have done is making that list together. You seem to be someone who feels your opinions and ideas are superior to her's hence the reason you decided to sit down alone and make a list of both your futures. It's really funny you did it alone, I mean, this is coming from a guy who wants equal or at least, almost equal contribution. She was supposed to be a life partner so you should have sat down together for the list.

Secondly, with this list, it won't be a problem when you are comfortable with designated house chores for you. It shouldn't be a problem if she gives you say for instance, the duty of cleaning the house and taking the kids to school while she does everything else. Bear in mind that you will clean after yourself and wash your clothes. And after birthing the children, provision for her to get her body back in terms of money should be like an equal answer to her carrying a child for nine months and going through excruciating pains to birth it out. I mean, it's both your children. Since you want partnership, why should she be the only one in the business of losing just to bring forth a child? If you see no problem with this, then you are not a selfish person after all.

I shake my head at the generation of youth we have today. Shameful, if you ask me. Most women don't want to provide and also don't want to take care of the home and the kids. Most men want to be relieved of the burden of providing but also don't want to help out in house chores and childcare.
If everyone relegates their duties to the others, who then will do it?

I also saw your comment that you are scared of going for a lady with higher income because of how her attitude might be. Money makes one proud. It takes grace and humility to submit to anyone that earns as much or higher than you do. The lack of money was what made women of the past docile. These days, with women making it for themselves without the need to depend on a man, that respect you crave as the head of house would be hard to get. I for one will not bow or submit to a man just because he is a man if I earn a lot.
You may have lost this relationship but use it to reflect on what I said. If house chores were easy, it won't be an occupation that pays. If you can equally take in any chore given to you, then your list would make more sense. Also, if you find a woman with higher income, take the lack of submission if there is as a cup of tea that comes with it.

4 Likes

Re: My Girlfriend Ran Away Because Of My Proposed Family Financial Plan by zedegit: 5:32am On Jan 04, 2022
enonche85:

he never said she should spend all her salary on the family. She earns 80k, is 30k too much to contribute?. He earns 300k and will be responsible for house rent, car, all the hard food stuffs, contribute 4x of what he's asking her to bring on their children's education. By the time you do all the calculation of his contribution he will have little or nothing left for himself not forgetting that he may have siblings who are in school that he might be paying tuition fees for.

Like I said what he requested is like a woman suggesting having a time table for intimacy: twice a week(Friday and Sunday by 10pm)

How will like a woman to suggest you cooking always during weekends?

Yes a woman should assist but not like this. Let him ask her instead of imposing it on her.

That #80k for your information is nothing in this present economy talkless of removing from it.

Some of his demands are ridiculous. It shows autocracy.

1 Like

Re: My Girlfriend Ran Away Because Of My Proposed Family Financial Plan by Ate247(m): 5:34am On Jan 04, 2022
bigpicture001:
My girlfriend whom I have planned to settle down with simply started acting cold and eventually stylishly slide out of our relationship because I sat her down and made a family financial support proposal to her in which she will be financially committed to running the proposed family we intend to raise...

These are the proposal...

1. She earns about 80k wile I earn about 300k.. I asked that we jointly contribute for all the children's Career funding starting from when we get married even before any of their birth.. I proposed 10k monthly from her and 40k from me to a trust account. From it we plan to fund all the children's Career from kiddagatten to varsity or which ever path they choose..

2. That sh choose between Nepa bill or DStv or gotv sub monthly..just one for her

3. I will be responsible for rents

4. We pay into another joint account for vacation once in two years..like sh puts in 20k I put in 50k monthly..

5. I provide all the heavy food stuffs required in the house in large quantities including gas ND change of electronics, but sh provide all the daily food supplements to mk mine complete.

6. She buys her clothes ND I buy mine but we can both surprise ourselfs with gift to the other..

7. I will buy the family car ND maintain it. If she buys no p.

8. I didn't rule out surprise gifts once a while and outting which I bankroll ND expect her to do same occasionally..

Plz oo nairalanders are these responsibilities to a wife too much for her, I mean one who works and earn over 50k...?
So you think all this rubbish you wanna apply here will make your marriage succeed. Mtchewww. You're a man. So Man up. I wife should be a helper. So stop this division of labor. If she gives you her conditions. Can you?
Re: My Girlfriend Ran Away Because Of My Proposed Family Financial Plan by lavamaestro(f): 5:35am On Jan 04, 2022
zedegit:


Like I said what he requested is like a woman suggesting having a time table for intimacy: twice a week(Friday and Sunday by 10pm)

How will like a woman to suggest you cooking always during weekends?

Yes a woman should assist but not like this. Let him ask her instead of imposing it on her.

That #80k for your information is nothing in this present economy talkless of removing from it.

Some of his demands are ridiculous. It shows autocracy.

My point exactly. A man like him won't want to be assigned house duties. If he can be comfortable with the chores she would assign to him without his input, then there is no problem.
Funny he wants partnership for his list that he created alone for their future. Really funny.

2 Likes

Re: My Girlfriend Ran Away Because Of My Proposed Family Financial Plan by Godmademan(m): 5:36am On Jan 04, 2022
Abfinest007:
You should have asked her in what way , will she support you ,not you dividing it .you can even make a list of all the expenses then let her chose
Lmao if she can't accept this proposal then I assume she's planning to opt out of working once she gets married thereby diverting all responsibilities to her husband. Thank God for the man's life.
Re: My Girlfriend Ran Away Because Of My Proposed Family Financial Plan by jditimiya(m): 5:37am On Jan 04, 2022
elonmuskbaby:
I think the bills and splitting is fair and reasonable enough.if she's prudent and can save I think that Should be enough and if the guy sticks to his own END OF THE AGREEMENT O.NO BE SAY HE GO ENTER MARRIAGE FINISH AND STORY GO CHANGE lipsrsealed

Bros you no lie, the issues in our days marriages is that most girls just want to come and rest in a mans sweat and forget herself in the house, look at many successful homes both the man and woman is contributing to make the house a home for them. Some girls are born with a mentality that only their father will feed them that is their husband to do the same.
Re: My Girlfriend Ran Away Because Of My Proposed Family Financial Plan by placeofallure(f): 5:37am On Jan 04, 2022
Biggie2000:

So you didn't see the part where he said he will be contributing 40K, buy food stuff, change electronics, pay rent, contribute 50K for vacation, pay for health insurance, buy and also maintain the family car? U nor see am abi? Someone earning just 300K has promised to handle all these heavy responsibilities, still yet ndi females are still not happy. God abeg o. Ordinary money to buy fuel for the generator and car in a month will cost more than 50K, where do you now expect him to see money for the rest responsibilities? Make e go thief abi?
Even if he made the plans without her, why didn't she negotiate? Why did she run?
The fact she didn't even try to Negotiate, shows she's not serious. She no negotiate, she just japa straight
*Modify*
Some of you are saying the OP will have issues getting another woman, are you aware that some females are actually shooting their shots at OP in the comment section? You shouldn't be surprised that some will still PM him.

I understand your argument. The man has tried already. If he can handle that much with just 300k, then he deserves an award for an outstanding prospective husband. The truth is the young people of this generation (both sexes) are whack! I pray a lot for Nigeria if these are the kind of people that will represent her future. The future looks very bleak and gloomy.

What's the big deal if he brings the plan? Is the husband not the head anymore? What will happen if you both sit and talk it out? Will any of you die afterwards? If after talking and you still don't agree, you can majestically walk away, none of you is under any oath or compulsion to stay. God grant the OP the wisdom to discern.
Re: My Girlfriend Ran Away Because Of My Proposed Family Financial Plan by jditimiya(m): 5:39am On Jan 04, 2022
lavamaestro:


My point exactly. A man like him won't want to be assigned house duties. If he can be comfortable with the chores she would assign to him without his input, then there is no problem.
Funny he wants partnership for his list that he created alone for their future. Really funny.
Any man that needs a happy home much and shall help his wife to do the house chores because that will even help the woman to be more productive and make the home a place for all to live in.
Re: My Girlfriend Ran Away Because Of My Proposed Family Financial Plan by myfantasies(f): 5:39am On Jan 04, 2022
Idamond:


madam nothing u write wey make sense.
u dey vomit garbage.
Entime wives
So is every female in your family.

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Re: My Girlfriend Ran Away Because Of My Proposed Family Financial Plan by lavamaestro(f): 5:42am On Jan 04, 2022
jditimiya:

Any man that needs a happy home much and shall help his wife to do the house chores because that will even help the woman to be more productive and make the home a place for all to live in.
Help. I didn't say help. Since he gave her bills to sort without her input, he would be given chores to do as the woman see fit. This is when it is partnership in op's case.

1 Like 1 Share

Re: My Girlfriend Ran Away Because Of My Proposed Family Financial Plan by myfantasies(f): 5:44am On Jan 04, 2022
Jeferious:
Go back and read gini? Abeg no need to wait. Comot body joor.

Dem tell you say na everybody you see go follow you argue? If you reach your husband house, no drop anything financially. For my own home, my wife must to dey drop something, no matter how little. So with this single difference in mentality, I have been able to convince and not confuse you that we don't align at all. Make all man dey their dey.

Once again, comot body grin
It's the beginning of the year, you are not even patient enough to wait before you display how immature you are and how irresponsible you will become to your household.

If a he wants a wife that do all what he said, then he should look for someone that is earning as much as him or assist her to find something better to do.

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Re: My Girlfriend Ran Away Because Of My Proposed Family Financial Plan by tunjilana: 5:49am On Jan 04, 2022
You are on track but your approach. Next time try this way.

Tell her you have done some research based on older friends and relatives and identified the key needs of a young family..then itemise everything, I mean everything...even ammortise the rent and other bulk payments e.g if ur proposed rent (based on the neighborhood u both wish to live) is 1.2M, then put 100k monthly for rent. Then sum it up and show her the list, tell her that u suggest u both open a joint account where u will put 70 percent of the expenses and she puts 30 percent (you can vary the ratio based on your realities but it shudnt be more than 65/35 or 80/20)....If she cant agree to this approach then she simply isn't marry u with the mindset of contributing....It is best u let her go if u genuinely want a partner and not a woman who just want her needs met and feel marriage will help her achieve that goal...such women are plenty outside, constantly marrying for the wrong reasons but many men won't knw except they try approaches like this....Also b careful with some women who will agree now with the aim of changing it when u get married....there are many calculative women out there...

2 Likes

Re: My Girlfriend Ran Away Because Of My Proposed Family Financial Plan by Ifogift007: 5:50am On Jan 04, 2022
Biggie2000:

So you didn't see the part where he said he will be contributing 40K, buy food stuff, change electronics, pay rent, contribute 50K for vacation, pay for health insurance, buy and also maintain the family car? U nor see am abi? Someone earning just 300K has promised to handle all these heavy responsibilities, still yet ndi females are still not happy. God abeg o. Ordinary money to buy fuel for the generator and car in a month will cost more than 50K, where do you now expect him to see money for the rest responsibilities? Make e go thief abi?
Even if he made the plans without her, why didn't she negotiate? Why did she run?
The fact she didn't even try to Negotiate, shows she's not serious. She no negotiate, she just japa straight
*Modify*
Some of you are saying the OP will have issues getting another woman, are you aware that some females are actually shooting their shots at OP in the comment section? You shouldn't be surprised that some will still PM him.
The last paragraph...got me rolling on the floor
Re: My Girlfriend Ran Away Because Of My Proposed Family Financial Plan by vickydevoka(m): 5:50am On Jan 04, 2022
Mariangeles:
On top 80k salary, you want make she dey drop 10k every month for trust account, 20k for joint account, provide "food supplement", make she still choose between NEPA bill, DSTV, or GOTV subscription...on top wetin? undecided
Oga, how much wan remain to take buy clothes, cosmetics and toiletries for herself na (cos e sure me dai say you no fit buy those things for her), not to talk of find her parents something? Unto say she marry you?

Abeg! Carry your wahala go front!
It's good the prenuptial was clearly stated. Bcus I see marriage way de use assumption enter the clearly crash. If this kind person marry our second Born she go happy. Buh him must make sure she de see de savings every month.. nothing concern her with marry k n de expensive jewelry.
Re: My Girlfriend Ran Away Because Of My Proposed Family Financial Plan by tunjilana: 5:51am On Jan 04, 2022
lavamaestro:

Help. I didn't say help. Since he gave her bills to sort without her input, he would be given chores to do as the woman see fit. This is when it is partnership in op's case.

They can get domestic help...besides they will still need it regardless. House work can be outsourced but finance cant
Re: My Girlfriend Ran Away Because Of My Proposed Family Financial Plan by vickydevoka(m): 5:52am On Jan 04, 2022
Mariangeles:
On top 80k salary, you want make she dey drop 10k every month for trust account, 20k for joint account, provide "food supplement", make she still choose between NEPA bill, DSTV, or GOTV subscription...on top wetin? undecided
Oga, how much wan remain to take buy clothes, cosmetics and toiletries for herself na (cos e sure me dai say you no fit buy those things for her), not to talk of find her parents something? Unto say she marry you?

Abeg! Carry your wahala go front!
To see man way de earn above 300k way no be yahoo boy hardo. If na me I go accept.
Re: My Girlfriend Ran Away Because Of My Proposed Family Financial Plan by lavamaestro(f): 5:53am On Jan 04, 2022
tunjilana:


They cant get domestic help...besides they will still need it regardless. House work can be outsourced but finance cant

Who will pay? If he is given a duty and he can't meet up, he would pay for that chore to be done by an help.
I don't even see any problem with the list, Nigeria isn't going well at all and couples need to put head to support each other financially. I'm just referring to the way he decided their future on his own. If the tables were reversed and she gives him chores to do unfailingly (I'm not saying once in a year support that men usually do), what would be his response or even your response?
Re: My Girlfriend Ran Away Because Of My Proposed Family Financial Plan by zedegit: 5:54am On Jan 04, 2022
Shokoloko:
OP should make his financial plan by percentage.

The girl provides 40% of her salary and he provides 60% of his salary. Plan with that. Whatever that money cannot buy leave it

Scrap the vacation idea. Someone earning 80k should NOT be thinking of going on vacation.

#80k is nothing in this present economy.
Re: My Girlfriend Ran Away Because Of My Proposed Family Financial Plan by busaribo(m): 5:56am On Jan 04, 2022
Really , are you sure some married men are committing suicide because of pleasing their wives.
Biggie2000:
They are always looking for who will carry all the responsibilities in the house. They don't care how you carry it, or how heavy the responsibilities are; all they care about is that the man must carry all the responsibilities in the house and must not complain. Op, you seem like someone that has lots of responsibilities to handle, even if you're single, 300k cannot carry all your responsibilities. Now, you say you want to marry, and the girl you want to marry is running away from certain financial responsibilities, don't you know that's overkill?? I pray you don't die before your time o. Either you remain single for now, while hustling to make more money or you just find another girl that is ready to make better financial plans with you and does not run from certain financial responsibilities. Most married men are in debt right now, simply because they're trying to please their wife. Several married men have committed suicide because of debt. I'm even surprised you truthfully told your girlfriend the amount you earn, are you sure she earns 80k or it's just the amount she told you?
Re: My Girlfriend Ran Away Because Of My Proposed Family Financial Plan by vickydevoka(m): 5:57am On Jan 04, 2022
bigpicture001:


Thanks man.. heard from her friend that sh said am too stingy,.

Honestly I didn't make her spend up to 50k from her wage.. 300k is not big and can be exhausted soon..

The weight will be too much if I form the normal Nigerian guy who likes to carry load on their head
Stinginess is de way forward for anyone who wants to be responsible In today's economy. I think she's de one stingy here
Re: My Girlfriend Ran Away Because Of My Proposed Family Financial Plan by vickydevoka(m): 5:59am On Jan 04, 2022
Animegirl:
shocked

You don't even know "woman's need", that's why you did that rubbish list. That 80k, isn't enough as a lady talkless of family. Unless you want her to look like an hag, in her husband's house.

Worst, you haven't even settled down yet, you're placing small responsibilities on her head. Be calming down na.

If you want something like this, better find another woman who is willing to contribute to the family with higher earnings.
Everybody has needs o. Man need pass woman o. She should remain single n spend her money judiciously
Re: My Girlfriend Ran Away Because Of My Proposed Family Financial Plan by Nobody: 6:00am On Jan 04, 2022
Life is absurd.
Re: My Girlfriend Ran Away Because Of My Proposed Family Financial Plan by vickydevoka(m): 6:00am On Jan 04, 2022
blaquebelle:
If she really loved you in the first place this shouldn't be an issue atall
Women don't love unconditionally o..
That's y de will marry ugly rich Man n get pregnant for poor handsome man
Re: My Girlfriend Ran Away Because Of My Proposed Family Financial Plan by Nobody: 6:02am On Jan 04, 2022
myfantasies:
So is every female in your family.


Can you lend me money?
Re: My Girlfriend Ran Away Because Of My Proposed Family Financial Plan by Nobody: 6:03am On Jan 04, 2022
vickydevoka:

Women don't love unconditionally o..
That's y de will marry ugly rich Man n get pregnant for poor handsome man



No matter how you put it,

life doesn't make sense.

1 Like

Re: My Girlfriend Ran Away Because Of My Proposed Family Financial Plan by vickydevoka(m): 6:04am On Jan 04, 2022
aimmoney9:
A woman's money in marriage is her's....

So also is that of her husband...... grin

This is the Nigerian woman mentality that has made men now start looking for only working class ladies to settle down with coz no one needs a liability..... grin

They need to drastically change this mindset because from the looks of things fewer men are getting married in Nigeria now and the situation will worsen in the future..... grin

If you are ready to marry as a woman you must be ready to contribute financially to it, that's what building a home entails.... grin grin
How can a woman's money be hers in this economy. Besides Dem two na workers, de can be sacked anytime. The should have good financial plan n savings.

This shows that if the man go broke he will suffer alone. She might leave him self
Re: My Girlfriend Ran Away Because Of My Proposed Family Financial Plan by myfantasies(f): 6:04am On Jan 04, 2022
DrFunmisticGlow:
I will also walk away. Because if he's bitching like this now, he will start menstruating and squealing like a dying pig when children come along.

This op is low-key financially controlling. My dear even with my 80k salary, I they fear to enter relationship cos I don't want to start billing someone's son cos it's not easy, times are hard , not to talk of going into marriage.

At least one have to step up financially.

Some miscreants are already mastvrbating under my mention
Re: My Girlfriend Ran Away Because Of My Proposed Family Financial Plan by vickydevoka(m): 6:04am On Jan 04, 2022
Mariangeles:


Let's just agree that you're not yet ready to marry.
She's not ready either
Re: My Girlfriend Ran Away Because Of My Proposed Family Financial Plan by adeoladipupo(m): 6:06am On Jan 04, 2022
dx can only be a beautiful plan if the lady is non African
Re: My Girlfriend Ran Away Because Of My Proposed Family Financial Plan by psalmuelwater(m): 6:08am On Jan 04, 2022
bigpicture001:
My girlfriend whom I have planned to settle down with simply started acting cold and eventually stylishly slide out of our relationship because I sat her down and made a family financial support proposal to her in which she will be financially committed to running the proposed family we intend to raise...

These are the proposal...

1. She earns about 80k wile I earn about 300k.. I asked that we jointly contribute for all the children's Career funding starting from when we get married even before any of their birth.. I proposed 10k monthly from her and 40k from me to a trust account. From it we plan to fund all the children's Career from kiddagatten to varsity or which ever path they choose..

2. That sh choose between Nepa bill or DStv or gotv sub monthly..just one for her

3. I will be responsible for rents

4. We pay into another joint account for vacation once in two years..like sh puts in 20k I put in 50k monthly..

5. I provide all the heavy food stuffs required in the house in large quantities including gas ND change of electronics, but sh provide all the daily food supplements to mk mine complete.

6. She buys her clothes ND I buy mine but we can both surprise ourselfs with gift to the other..

7. I will buy the family car ND maintain it. If she buys no p.

8. I didn't rule out surprise gifts once a while and outting which I bankroll ND expect her to do same occasionally..

Plz oo nairalanders are these responsibilities to a wife too much for her, I mean one who works and earn over 50k...?


Look for a lady that earns above 150k and she’s an orphan, no father, mother and siblings.

A lady earning 150k, and has been catering for her family and siblings will still run away with this your foolish plan, continue listening to those hailing you ooo.

Some women are the breadwinner in their father’s house, she should drop all those immediately she marry you, so she can be contributing 20k monthly for vacation inside 80k?

You are internationally mad...... That lady right there, just dodged a bullet.

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