Animegirl:


You don't even know "woman's need", that's why you did that rubbish list. That 80k, isn't enough as a lady talkless of family. Unless you want her to look like an hag, in her husband's house.

Worst, you haven't even settled down yet, you're placing small responsibilities on her head. Be calming down na.

If you want something like this, better find another woman who is willing to contribute to the family with higher earnings.

Worst comment on this thread, you should have kept your peace and move on,

Once you're married, you only think about the betterment of your family and not trying or thinking of looking good for outsiders,

I have seen a woman who used her yearly savings to change the look of their house just to surprise her husband before coming home for Christmas as a Colonel in Nigerian military

She bought all kinds of Electronics and repainted the house and many more things she changed in the house,

FBS:

Abi oo.
Tell us wetin real women they do?

chop their money

MuchAdo:
@OP

You asked too much of her to be honest.

Women are not after rich guys. They just want a man who will/can pay all the family bills as much as possible.

She will take care of herself and chip in her own little assistance from time to time unsolicited.

These women also have their immediate past nuclear and extended families to cater for to an extent. Most times they don't want to bother you with that.

And the man does not have? Who even made this stupid law self

DrFunmisticGlow:
stay single or find a sugar mummy, because you as a man, are not ready for marriage and the responsibility of being the head of the household

So na you don ready, oya tell us how dem take dey ready for marriage? seems u know too much.

Looking for who u want to ruin their life, better learn to share responsibilities else .....you are heading for old age single and lonely.

Bigpicture001, if u are wise u will listen to the words of women here as they have spoken the minds of women of ALL races( also the sensible men here) e go shock u say even oyibo u want to marry will do similarly...

U too know that in all the sharing, u won't share pregnancy of 9 months/9 months+&labor pain/ pushing out all the babies that will bear your surname.

Come ooo, what will be the difference between her single status and married state AND how will she boast to people that she actually married( married a MAN).

A woman can even do more than u are suggesting but don't put forward any dictatorial proposal to her.

As in law, say her family won't feel that their daughter married a man as u have also taken what she can take to send to her family when married.

See, when it comes to PLANNING, I don't think ANY man born of a woman can plan reach me, BUT I still leave room for God's own master plan, believe me, God can even scatter and rearrange that your family financial plan...your source is God, NOT your incomes.

E be like say Nigerian boys only see partnership in marriage as sharing financial responsibilities only neglecting other aspects

It takes wisdom, patience and maturity as a man to be a husband and rather, that is y Bible admonished men to marry their wives with understanding... U no even talk of how to PAMPER/SPOIL her as your woman, the pampering she will still contribute money to enjoy vacation....U still need to go meet men who have been married successfully for YEARS to counsel/mentor u about marriage...Hope u are even pampering her in courtship for her to be able to submit her money to u not that u are stingy....Because, any extra change in the hands of a man may not be too trusted as he can use it to service side babes.

UyaiIncomparabl:


Has your account been hacked?

This is unbelievable.

LMAO

My dear, like I mentioned, the ratio is not necessary but a woman's money should be spent running/building her home.

If you're not ready to use that money running the home, then don't work (I have no problems with women who decide to be stay-at-home moms - a very viable way to cut certain expenses).

[quote author=Susily post=109056226]


Women were not created to be pampered and we live in an era of GENDER EQUALITY which is championed by women, so it is not out of place to ask a woman to contribute financially to the running of the home[/quote
Not against each partner contributing financially, but you don't make it look like it's a prenup agreement.
The fact that there's a difference in the physiological make-up of both sexes, suggest that there's an inherent role programmed to each gender.
Men are different from women.
If you want to have peace of mind in your home, then know this, a man wants respect and submission from the wife.
Women on the other hand are good at submitting when the man is discharging his responsibility very well as head.
Now where a man defaults in this regard, there's always trouble, maybe not at the beginning, but a time will come when the woman will be fed up, disrespect and insults will follow, why? because naturally and sociologically women weren't meant to be providers.
I know things are changing as regards gender role, but I want to ask you a question, what do you think about this new breed of empowered women in terms of character?
The bird will one day come home to roost and guest what? Trouble.

Mariangeles:
On top 80k salary, you want make she dey drop 10k every month for trust account, 20k for joint account, provide "food supplement", make she still choose between NEPA bill, DSTV, or GOTV subscription...on top wetin?
Oga, how much wan remain to take buy clothes, cosmetics and toiletries for herself na (cos e sure me dai say you no fit buy those things for her), not to talk of find her parents something? Unto say she marry you?

Abeg! Carry your wahala go front!

so na the guy go provide everything for the marriage abi? Where does the help of the woman comes in, abi na to open legs for bedroom only? Men should wise up and don't kill yourselves for a woman. Immediately you kpai, another man fit knack her that same night........the reason most guys are contemplating baby mama because lot's of ladies just want to sit and contribute nothing to the family......until women come to realize that marriage is an 'i help the man and he helps the woman game' there is going to be a continuous misunderstanding and unending problems.

MuchAdo:
@OP

You asked too much of her to be honest.

Women are not after rich guys. They just want a man who will/can pay all the family bills as much as possible.

She will take care of herself and chip in her own little assistance from time to time unsolicited.

These women also have their immediate past nuclear and extended families to cater for to an extent. Most times they don't want to bother you with that.

Her family na cripple, dem no dey work.

What are u even saying,?

DrFunmisticGlow:
there's a difference between equality and neutrality.

An orange can never be equal to an apple

Lol because of what? RESPONSIBILITY.

on social media u see empty vessels ranting equality equality but give them just a tip of what it means to be equal u see them cower. Now it's neutrality again. Confused lots.

Women can never ever be equal to men.

What a man can do, a woman can not do it.

bigpicture001:


Bro it's not easy... The more a lady's wage the more difficult she becomes...

Exactly. Just marry person way get good upbringing n way de good fearing come get good heart join. For me money should not be first thing to consider wen looking for a woman

HellVictorinho3:



Can you lend me money?

Me that can't even lend my own self money

@bigpicture001, the only thing you shouldn't have included in the list of her financial obligations towards the family is the 20k monthly for vacation. But if she had the mind of contributing to the family, she would have negotiated the list and complained of the ones sha ain't cool with.

For her to have gone cold and stylishly left the relationship shows she has the mentality that a man must shoulder all the responsibility. She and Uyi are in the same WhatsApp group.

Come o... The way you are making this plan as if you own the company... What if them sack you or her and this plans no come dey go as planned ... Hope you wudnt Kee urself or somebody daughter. Just asking sha

francisgodstime:
And the man does not have? Who even made this stupid law self

This stupid law is called natural law, the fight against nature is a very hard one so don't expect to win easily.
Now if you really want to win, you might start first by changing the physiological and mental set up of both genders to look same .the rest will follow naturally.

Calebility:
Chairman why not ask her to suggest her own way of supporting the family first.
That will help you to tell the kind of person you're dealing with.

Your money is her money, her money is hers and hers alone.

Culturally black men have made their wives live parasitic live always making them to believe that they (men) are created to spend on them. From childhood to adulthood a girl child believes that men are to provide for their entire needs, and this is also the expectation of the society too. Go with a lady to a canteen to eat, she assumes that you will settle the bills 100%. They grow up with F O C mentality. This is the attitude many of them bring to their marriages forgetting that times have changed.

Idamond:


did u weight the both partners contributions before blapping? No
u only reach comment. u seriously won't make a good wife.
your type divorce file full court.
u can't assist ur husband with just 12% of ur salary u can urself a wife.

See, say whatever you like. A man should not plan his life and enforce responsibilities on a woman. Only irresponsible and no-do-good men do that. Omo, I'm just so done with you guys on here. And your opinions about me are so skewed, so forget it.

Trypant:



This is what love should have settled even without laying out the plan.
My husband does the little he can and I support him with all I earn so far as it's for my children.
What's the big deal?
Thank God she left you. What if you loose the #300k job and managing with driving or no job, it means she will run away.

Marriage of the 21st century is different from the olden. Things are not same anymore. Please look for someone who will align with you.

What if she loose her own job?

Who will care for her.

21st century marriages are wrong..

If God has not changed, why should marriage change.

Why do u fight for equal right selectively? It should be all round.

Stop thinking negatively about a man loosing his job, or u didn't read where he said, he hustle's to make the money.

Do what works for you, and leave other people alone.

ivolt:

A real feminist, in fact anyone with a brain would run when they see a slavery plan.
The fact that a person unilaterally dictated the list is even the biggest red flag.

but this is real freedom
a clear stated relationship
the truth is ladies are used to their bills being paid
and any defined financial commitment they run
this is something i can do.
this is not slavery bur a way to help a woman think and increase her income.

pompeiimagnus:


Una funny sha As a single woman wouldn’t she be doing all that monthly? This guy proposed a plan and she ran away…lmao

As a single woman, she LL still be living with her parents.

bigpicture001:
My girlfriend whom I have planned to settle down with simply started acting cold and eventually stylishly slide out of our relationship because I sat her down and made a family financial support proposal to her in which she will be financially committed to running the proposed family we intend to raise...

These are the proposal...

1. She earns about 80k wile I earn about 300k.. I asked that we jointly contribute for all the children's Career funding starting from when we get married even before any of their birth.. I proposed 10k monthly from her and 40k from me to a trust account. From it we plan to fund all the children's Career from kiddagatten to varsity or which ever path they choose..

2. That sh choose between Nepa bill or DStv or gotv sub monthly..just one for her

3. I will be responsible for rents

4. We pay into another joint account for vacation once in two years..like sh puts in 20k I put in 50k monthly..

5. I provide all the heavy food stuffs required in the house in large quantities including gas ND change of electronics, but sh provide all the daily food supplements to mk mine complete.

6. She buys her clothes ND I buy mine but we can both surprise ourselfs with gift to the other..

7. I will buy the family car ND maintain it. If she buys no p.

8. I didn't rule out surprise gifts once a while and outting which I bankroll ND expect her to do same occasionally..

Plz oo nairalanders are these responsibilities to a wife too much for her, I mean one who works and earn over 50k...?

Bros, it's too much.
She earns 80k and you still want to carry all these load inside 80k?
When babies start coming, with these your logic, the whole baby things such as wears, diapers and feeding will be on her.
Do you want to kill her?
Please reduce the load and don't use your stingy to pursue a good wife.
She did the right thing to quit what she can't finish.
Your girlfriend is honest and it's hard find an honest girl.
Op. Go back and review your list abeg

ivolt:

A man who earns 300K should have nothing to do with a woman who earns 80K unless
he understands the ramifications of such action.

He wants to place a 300K salary burden on someone who earns 80K if you know what I mean.
People's salary influence their taste, a gift that is valuable to a minimum wage earner may be useless
to a millionaire.
Her salary is even lower than many people's monthly Nepa bill.

Vacation really? No sensible person who earns 80K will even contemplate such when their focus should
be 100% on future investment.

I love your perspective...but I have also seen women who earn 80k aspiring to a lifestyle of someone who earns 500k and expecting that lifestyle to be funded by their 500k earning husband without them contributing...

Truth is we need to teach young girls that the world has moved away from a man is a provider mantra...same way women are constantly teaching young boys that a woman shudnt be seen as a domestic entity...I have spoken to a lot of young males and many cant fathom the idea of solely providing for a family they co create with another human...some even tell u that they will rather not marry and probably go the baby mama route if that is the case....the world has changed and whoever doesn't change will get burnt

[quote author=ExcelDBM post=109057638]

See mindset.. I shake my head for you. Because the man doesn't need pampering. That he is the head means he's a financial sacrificial lamb. Tufia![/quote
No need to shake your head, this has nothing to do with mindset.
I just helping you to understand a little bit of the thing called natural law.
You go against this law, be prepared to face the consequences.

U MUST BE A COMEDIAN!DONT U KNOW A WIFE'S MONEY IS HERS WHILE THAT OF THE HUBBY IS FOR THE FAMILY?IF U CALCULATE ALL SHE MUST COUGH OUT EVERY MONTH,WHAT WULD BE LEFT FROM HER #80K SALARY?MOST LADIES ARE NOT GIVERS BUT RECEIVERS!U DONT BLAME HER FOR RUNNING AWAY!!

Mariangeles:
On top 80k salary, you want make she dey drop 10k every month for trust account, 20k for joint account, provide "food supplement", make she still choose between NEPA bill, DSTV, or GOTV subscription...on top wetin?
Oga, how much wan remain to take buy clothes, cosmetics and toiletries for herself na (cos e sure me dai say you no fit buy those things for her), not to talk of find her parents something? Unto say she marry you?

Abeg! Carry your wahala go front!

So if she no marry she no fit maintain her self,pay her rent with 80k?. Must women sap men because of marriage or relationship?
Such feeling of entitlements is very wrong.
The only difference between such women and ashawo is that they have only one customer.
Una never see women wey dey provide everything for the family and still remain loyal?
Her actions means that there's no love,she is just there for the money.
As far as am concerned,I don't care the puppy's hot dog look alike, she can go to hell

Mariangeles:


Let's just agree that you're not yet ready to marry.

. With this your mentality, you deserve to be pitied.

vincentjk:



All these nairaland bitter feminist, but why the thing com pain u pass the lady wen u nor even sabi?

Atleast it's good you acknowledge the lady isn't pained,she jeje carry herself jakpa .

Wanting an 80k earner to use her salary for 300k taste.

Which person wey normal go dey earn 80k dey think of vacation abroad? Ask yourself the question.

GboyegaD:


And what she should do was to have a civil discussion with respect to what she thinks will work. At the end of the day in marriage, any party could bring a suggestion and it is for both of them to fine tune it based on their situation.

She's probably not on the same page with him. Or the OP is only telling us the part of the story that puts him in a good light. We don't know his manner of approach and the antecedents in their relationship. What I know is that he has just brought his ex here for bashing and that already says a lot about him.

I know that I would have been mad if I visited my fiance, now husband, and he brought out a financial plan he had concocted with my salary in my absence.

Truth be told, it's because he earns more, and that makes him feel superior and gives him the right to do what he did. Supposing she was the one earning 300k and he was earning 80k, would he have the guts to create the plan?

She is not yet ready.,

albankubi:
This is unrealistic. You are obviously not ready for marriage. If you can't foot the household bill 100 percent you have no right to claim a woman. Imagine if she gets pregnant and you still want her to keep working and spending on the family.

You will live long.

Idamond:

Abeg pack one side read the post well..
Na propose, na for d lady to add her own remove the one she feel she no like

I read the post before I made my comment. If she was the one earning more, do you think he would have the guts to do that?

Nairaland is not for everyday bash women, sometimes we should look critically from both sides before we join the bashing bandwagon.

Sent87:

This stupid law is called natural law, the fight against nature is very hard one so don't expect to win easily.
Now if you really want to win, you might start first by changing the physiological and mental make up of both genders to look same .the rest will follow naturally.

If that is the case then people should live freely and exercise their natural rights without restraint like animals...why is society restricting a man's sexual mates to 1 why not allow him freely exercise his sexuality to the extent his resources can take him....their is nothing like naturL law again...we are constantly being shaped and made to adapt to new realities....women want men to change when it comes to gender roles that affect women but benefit men but these same women don't wanna change when it comes to roles affecting men but benefitting women...A man providing is part of the tenets of the same Patriarchy that women love to condemn...so why ain't they fighting that