franchasng:
My candid advice to the Op and to all single guys who wish to marry and have a peaceful, loving and healthy marriage is this:



So long as you and your wife live in Nigeria, please remove that mentality of sharing family upkeep with your wife. Just work hard and pray to God to empower you financially enough to cater for your wife and family without relying on your wife's income.


The rate of divorce in western countries is too high compared to that in Nigeria and part of the reason is their practice of gender equality in almost everything.


Follow Bible teachings about marriage and you won't have issues.



From the Bible, read from the book of Genesis during creation of man, God didn't create man and woman the same day.


God first created everything that a man would need to live a worthy life and then He created man and put him in charge of everything he created on earth.


God Himself observed man and noticed that even though man had everything he needed materially, he was still lonely whenever he returns back to his abode after the days work, so God decided to create a helpmate and companion for the first man Adam.



So the first purpose of a woman in a man's life is companionship and not to help the man to create wealth or share family burdens or expenses. The woman is firstly there to keep you company emotionally. That's why men all over the world are ready to spend their last kobo to get a woman to make love to, it is nature at work not that women have more emotional control than men, it is nature that made men emotionally vulnerable than women such that a man melts at the sight of woman's naked body but most women will even get irritated at the sight of a man's naked body unless they are already emotionally attached to that man somehow.



Adam was rich and had everything he needed before God made him fall asleep and used his rib to make a woman for him and Adam saw Eve and cherished her because she was so beautiful to his delight.


So the first quality a man notices in a woman is her physical beauty before any other thing.



Follow Bible teachings and not man made civilized laws that failed in western countries.



Gender equality is a scam.


Man and woman can never be equal. Each gender have their God assigned role, play yours with joy and you will enjoy this life.



Me I am happy to be the sole provider in my marriage.


My wife works and earns well I guess but I have never needed her to bring a dime and it has never stopped me from expanding and living a happy life.


My wife one day asked me why I don't even bother about her job or career, like what she earns and whether she gets promoted. I told her, my dear, I don't think it's necessary but I know you get plenty money na and it's good for the family, at least I am sure you will invest a lot for your kids.


One thing I know is that, she never tells me about her relative needing any money, I only do Christmas for her dad once a year and on Easter and Father's day. And I am sure she do spend on them from her own income. Aside that, I take care of everything, including her personal shopping. Most times I fuel the car she uses to go to work. I do these things with joy. If she decides to stop working tomorrow, I won't pressure her. But I love the fact that she is working so she can be mentally fit and financially responsible cos I noticed housewives are usually dull and financially irresponsible.


So guys please remove your eyes from your wifes income. If things go bad financially for you which nobody should pray for, believe me, she will come through, forget what you read online, most ladies do help their husband's financially when he is down. Some are even the breadwinners of their family. So it's not as if all Nigerian ladies that got married depend solely on their husband. Some are breadwinners. Some share financial responsibility with their hubby willingly.



Not all our ladies are leeches abeg

What does the man get in return for the provision? Stop being scared of the bible and being overly religious and face the secular facts....

BigBashiru:


It's better if it's rigid oh.... if its not rigid the girl will subtly renege.... if ur not the type that likes arguments then pre-written rigid agreement is better. If she reneges then u can be flexible until she recovers....

Good morning,sir.


Can you lend me money?

Lordedifice1:
You scared her away
You never marry her you don budget wetin she go give
When dy say marriage is not a childs play what were you thinking?
As a man provide everything
When it's time she'll also add hers
But your first impression scared the living day light out of her

You don't even have a problem
Just go sip alcohol

Any other lady would be scared away by his contribution proposal. Only desperate women with their biological clock running out with enter marriage under such conditions.

As I said earlier the OP had no set goals for the marriage, his only concern was how much physical cash he will have to spend during the marriage. Number of children was never discussed. Their prospective careers and ambitions was never discussed. How to deal with extended family members were never discussed. How to raise the kids when they are very young and vulnerable was not discussed. If he intends to have three children in quick succession, the first 10 years would be very demanding on the woman. I hate leaving my children with househelps/ relations, due to the numerous horror stories I have actually witnessesed and read online.

Most people have a wrong impression of marriage and that's why most marriages nowadays fail within the first 10 years. In marriage two is supposed to become one. You finances should become one instead of two. The standard of living of both individual should be the same. The two incomes should be aggregated and the living expenses and lifestyle should be calculated on the total join income. The you contribute this, I contribute that approach is too individualistic.

Ok. What happens if the man is sacked and the woman finds a job that pays much more? Would you still insist on the initial contributions or you demand a new contributions formula? What happens if the man has an accident or has a debilitating illness or temporarily incapacitated?

The way the OP broached the issue is very wrong.

bigpicture001:
My girlfriend whom I have planned to settle down with simply started acting cold and eventually stylishly slide out of our relationship because I sat her down and made a family financial support proposal to her in which she will be financially committed to running the proposed family we intend to raise...

These are the proposal...

1. She earns about 80k wile I earn about 300k.. I asked that we jointly contribute for all the children's Career funding starting from when we get married even before any of their birth.. I proposed 10k monthly from her and 40k from me to a trust account. From it we plan to fund all the children's Career from kiddagatten to varsity or which ever path they choose..

2. That sh choose between Nepa bill or DStv or gotv sub monthly..just one for her

3. I will be responsible for rents

4. We pay into another joint account for vacation once in two years..like sh puts in 20k I put in 50k monthly..

5. I provide all the heavy food stuffs required in the house in large quantities including gas ND change of electronics, but sh provide all the daily food supplements to mk mine complete.

6. She buys her clothes ND I buy mine but we can both surprise ourselfs with gift to the other..

7. I will buy the family car ND maintain it. If she buys no p.

8. I didn't rule out surprise gifts once a while and outting which I bankroll ND expect her to do same occasionally..

Plz oo nairalanders are these responsibilities to a wife too much for her, I mean one who works and earn over 50k...?

A normal person will take to her heel i must confess. You havent even married and you are already placing her on a tight end. I will advice that you abolished that plan totally, it doent work for someone who want to raise a good and healthy family. if she goes with your plan and eventually she lost the job, what would you do then.

Calebility:
Chairman why not ask her to suggest her own way of supporting the family first.
That will help you to tell the kind of person you're dealing with.

Your money is her money, her money is hers and hers alone.

Thunder fire you!!!!

BigBashiru:


What does the man get in return for the provision? Stop being scared of the bible and being overly religious and face the secular facts....

The man is not meant to get anything except respect in return for the provision.



Good morning, sir.

wirinet:


Any other lady would be scared away by his contribution proposal. Only desperate women with their biological clock running out with enter marriage under such conditions.

As I said earlier the OP had no set goals for the marriage, his only concern was how much physical cash he will have to spend during the marriage. Number of children was never discussed. Their prospective careers and ambitions was never discussed. How to deal with extended family members were never discussed. How to raise the kids when they are very young and vulnerable was not discussed. If he intends to have three children in quick succession, the first 10 years would be very demanding on the woman. I hate leaving my children with househelps/ relations, due to the numerous horror stories I have actually witnessesed and read online.

Most people have a wrong impression of marriage and that's why most marriages nowadays fail within the first 10 years. In marriage two is supposed to become one. You finances should become one instead of two. The standard of living of both individual should be the same. The two incomes should be aggregated and the living expenses and lifestyle should be calculated on the total join income. The you contribute this, I contribute that approach is too individualistic.

Ok. What happens if the man is sacked and the woman finds a job that pays much more? Would you still insist on the initial contributions or you demand a new contributions formula? What happens if the man has an accident or has a debilitating illness or temporarily incapacitated?

The way the OP broached the issue is very wrong.

Exactly... you have made a lot of sense.... seriously.

HellVictorinho3:




The man is not meant to get anything except respect in return for the provision.



Good morning, sir.

Then ur living in a delusion. Men are simply stupid while women used marriage contract and bible verses to their advantage.... in return for provision men are entitled to:

1. Youth and fertility. No 34 year old wives as of their wedding date pls.
2. No nagging, quarrels and a peaceful home.
3. A good character and bringing up the kids in a godly way.
4. Sex on demand or the agreement that he can get sex from his girlfriends.

Kwinesther:
As a single lady, nobody made it compulsory for her to save 20k monthly for vacation and other expenses. And is going on vacation compulsory? Why can't he sit her down so that they can plan those things together? Why excluding her?

He drafted his own part of the "contract" and presented it to her. It's left for her to negotiate and challenge it with hers. This is what a woman who loves him should do. She never loved him hence the reason she ran away quickly calling him stingy.

Personally, i am willing and always ready to give my 100% to my family as i do not have any sibblings or parents to cater for as they are all okay within themselves.
But you see when a spouse begins to tell me how we will share the bills monthly, dear, you put me off and i guess that's why the babe ran. She was seeing the future and you were seeingthe present. What if things turn and she doesn't have a job again? You will nlw be doing things grudgingly...by then you would have had more kids, more expenses, anger will set in...domestic violence will ensue etc.

Just allow me, every month, i will take care of everything i can. you may not bother to touch your own salary as we will make bigger plans and investments with that so that we won't suffer at old age or perhaps when things aren't rosy anymore .. If that husband is very transparent and open to me o". But if you ain't straight foward with me.... we go dey do ourselves. My own take.

bigpicture001:
My girlfriend whom I have planned to settle down with simply started acting cold and eventually stylishly slide out of our relationship because I sat her down and made a family financial support proposal to her in which she will be financially committed to running the proposed family we intend to raise...

These are the proposal...

1. She earns about 80k wile I earn about 300k.. I asked that we jointly contribute for all the children's Career funding starting from when we get married even before any of their birth.. I proposed 10k monthly from her and 40k from me to a trust account. From it we plan to fund all the children's Career from kiddagatten to varsity or which ever path they choose..

2. That sh choose between Nepa bill or DStv or gotv sub monthly..just one for her

3. I will be responsible for rents

4. We pay into another joint account for vacation once in two years..like sh puts in 20k I put in 50k monthly..

5. I provide all the heavy food stuffs required in the house in large quantities including gas ND change of electronics, but sh provide all the daily food supplements to mk mine complete.

6. She buys her clothes ND I buy mine but we can both surprise ourselfs with gift to the other..

7. I will buy the family car ND maintain it. If she buys no p.

8. I didn't rule out surprise gifts once a while and outting which I bankroll ND expect her to do same occasionally..

Plz oo nairalanders are these responsibilities to a wife too much for her, I mean one who works and earn over 50k...?

bigpicture001:
My girlfriend whom I have planned to settle down with simply started acting cold and eventually stylishly slide out of our relationship because I sat her down and made a family financial support proposal to her in which she will be financially committed to running the proposed family we intend to raise...

These are the proposal...

1. She earns about 80k wile I earn about 300k.. I asked that we jointly contribute for all the children's Career funding starting from when we get married even before any of their birth.. I proposed 10k monthly from her and 40k from me to a trust account. From it we plan to fund all the children's Career from kiddagatten to varsity or which ever path they choose..

2. That sh choose between Nepa bill or DStv or gotv sub monthly..just one for her

3. I will be responsible for rents

4. We pay into another joint account for vacation once in two years..like sh puts in 20k I put in 50k monthly..

5. I provide all the heavy food stuffs required in the house in large quantities including gas ND change of electronics, but sh provide all the daily food supplements to mk mine complete.

6. She buys her clothes ND I buy mine but we can both surprise ourselfs with gift to the other..

7. I will buy the family car ND maintain it. If she buys no p.

8. I didn't rule out surprise gifts once a while and outting which I bankroll ND expect her to do same occasionally..

Plz oo nairalanders are these responsibilities to a wife too much for her, I mean one who works and earn over 50k...?

Honestly, what you did was unnecessary.

BigBashiru:


Then ur living in a delusion. Men are simply stupid while women used marriage contract and bible verses to their advantage.... in return for provision men are entitled to:

1. Youth and fertility. No 34 year old wives as of their wedding date pls.
2. No nagging, quarrels and a peaceful home.
3. A good character and bringing up the kids in a godly way.
4. Sex on demand or the agreement that he can get sex from his girlfriends.

No.4

BigBashiru:


Then ur living in a delusion. Men are simply stupid while women used marriage contract and bible verses to their advantage.... in return for provision men are entitled to:

1. Youth and fertility. No 34 year old wives as of their wedding date pls.
2. No nagging, quarrels and a peaceful home.
3. A good character and bringing up the kids in a godly way.
4. Sex on demand or the agreement that he can get sex from his girlfriends.

I said not meant to.. I didn't say they don't get anything... besides, respect can be demonstrated in different ways...


Can you lend me money?

HellVictorinho3:



Honestly, what you did was unnecessary.

Really?. At what point does it become necessary.

franchasng:
My candid advice to the Op and to all single guys who wish to marry and have a peaceful, loving and healthy marriage is this:



So long as you and your wife live in Nigeria, please remove that mentality of sharing family upkeep with your wife. Just work hard and pray to God to empower you financially enough to cater for your wife and family without relying on your wife's income.


The rate of divorce in western countries is too high compared to that in Nigeria and part of the reason is their practice of gender equality in almost everything.


Follow Bible teachings about marriage and you won't have issues.



From the Bible, read from the book of Genesis during creation of man, God didn't create man and woman the same day.


God first created everything that a man would need to live a worthy life and then He created man and put him in charge of everything he created on earth.


God Himself observed man and noticed that even though man had everything he needed materially, he was still lonely whenever he returns back to his abode after the days work, so God decided to create a helpmate and companion for the first man Adam.



So the first purpose of a woman in a man's life is companionship and not to help the man to create wealth or share family burdens or expenses. The woman is firstly there to keep you company emotionally. That's why men all over the world are ready to spend their last kobo to get a woman to make love to, it is nature at work not that women have more emotional control than men, it is nature that made men emotionally vulnerable than women such that a man melts at the sight of woman's naked body but most women will even get irritated at the sight of a man's naked body unless they are already emotionally attached to that man somehow.



Adam was rich and had everything he needed before God made him fall asleep and used his rib to make a woman for him and Adam saw Eve and cherished her because she was so beautiful to his delight.


So the first quality a man notices in a woman is her physical beauty before any other thing.



Follow Bible teachings and not man made civilized laws that failed in western countries.



Gender equality is a scam.


Man and woman can never be equal. Each gender have their God assigned role, play yours with joy and you will enjoy this life.



Me I am happy to be the sole provider in my marriage.


My wife works and earns well I guess but I have never needed her to bring a dime and it has never stopped me from expanding and living a happy life.


My wife one day asked me why I don't even bother about her job or career, like what she earns and whether she gets promoted. I told her, my dear, I don't think it's necessary but I know you get plenty money na and it's good for the family, at least I am sure you will invest a lot for your kids.


One thing I know is that, she never tells me about her relative needing any money, I only do Christmas for her dad once a year and on Easter and Father's day. And I am sure she do spend on them from her own income. Aside that, I take care of everything, including her personal shopping. Most times I fuel the car she uses to go to work. I do these things with joy. If she decides to stop working tomorrow, I won't pressure her. But I love the fact that she is working so she can be mentally fit and financially responsible cos I noticed housewives are usually dull and financially irresponsible.


So guys please remove your eyes from your wifes income. If things go bad financially for you which nobody should pray for, believe me, she will come through, forget what you read online, most ladies do help their husband's financially when he is down. Some are even the breadwinners of their family. So it's not as if all Nigerian ladies that got married depend solely on their husband. Some are breadwinners. Some share financial responsibility with their hubby willingly.



Not all our ladies are leeches abeg

Why is your wife working? Because working will still lead to negligence and dereliction of duties at home.

Why doesn't she just stay at home and take care of chores?

nobone:
Personally, i am willing and always ready to give my 100% to my family as i do not have any sibblings or parents to cater for as they are all okay within themselves.
But you see when a spouse begins to tell me how we will share the bills monthly, dear, you put me off and i guess that's why the babe ran. She was seeing the future and you were seeingthe present. What if things turn and she doesn't have a job again? You will nlw be doing things grudgingly...by then you would have had more kids, more expenses, anger will set in...domestic violence will ensue etc.

Just allow me, every month, i will take care of everything i can. you may not bother to touch your own salary as we will make bigger plans and investments with that so that we won't suffer at old age or perhaps when things aren't rosy anymore .. If that husband is very transparent and open to me o". But if you ain't straight foward with me.... we go dey do ourselves. My own take.

The agreement is not set in stone.... its just meant to prevent arguments since many guys don't like arguments.... if she loses her job then the guy will foot everything and help her get back on track ASAP.

franchasng:
My candid advice to the Op and to all single guys who wish to marry and have a peaceful, loving and healthy marriage is this:



So long as you and your wife live in Nigeria, please remove that mentality of sharing family upkeep with your wife. Just work hard and pray to God to empower you financially enough to cater for your wife and family without relying on your wife's income.


The rate of divorce in western countries is too high compared to that in Nigeria and part of the reason is their practice of gender equality in almost everything.


Follow Bible teachings about marriage and you won't have issues.



From the Bible, read from the book of Genesis during creation of man, God didn't create man and woman the same day.


God first created everything that a man would need to live a worthy life and then He created man and put him in charge of everything he created on earth.


God Himself observed man and noticed that even though man had everything he needed materially, he was still lonely whenever he returns back to his abode after the days work, so God decided to create a helpmate and companion for the first man Adam.



So the first purpose of a woman in a man's life is companionship and not to help the man to create wealth or share family burdens or expenses. The woman is firstly there to keep you company emotionally. That's why men all over the world are ready to spend their last kobo to get a woman to make love to, it is nature at work not that women have more emotional control than men, it is nature that made men emotionally vulnerable than women such that a man melts at the sight of woman's naked body but most women will even get irritated at the sight of a man's naked body unless they are already emotionally attached to that man somehow.



Adam was rich and had everything he needed before God made him fall asleep and used his rib to make a woman for him and Adam saw Eve and cherished her because she was so beautiful to his delight.


So the first quality a man notices in a woman is her physical beauty before any other thing.



Follow Bible teachings and not man made civilized laws that failed in western countries.



Gender equality is a scam.


Man and woman can never be equal. Each gender have their God assigned role, play yours with joy and you will enjoy this life.



Me I am happy to be the sole provider in my marriage.


My wife works and earns well I guess but I have never needed her to bring a dime and it has never stopped me from expanding and living a happy life.


My wife one day asked me why I don't even bother about her job or career, like what she earns and whether she gets promoted. I told her, my dear, I don't think it's necessary but I know you get plenty money na and it's good for the family, at least I am sure you will invest a lot for your kids.


One thing I know is that, she never tells me about her relative needing any money, I only do Christmas for her dad once a year and on Easter and Father's day. And I am sure she do spend on them from her own income. Aside that, I take care of everything, including her personal shopping. Most times I fuel the car she uses to go to work. I do these things with joy. If she decides to stop working tomorrow, I won't pressure her. But I love the fact that she is working so she can be mentally fit and financially responsible cos I noticed housewives are usually dull and financially irresponsible.


So guys please remove your eyes from your wifes income. If things go bad financially for you which nobody should pray for, believe me, she will come through, forget what you read online, most ladies do help their husband's financially when he is down. Some are even the breadwinners of their family. So it's not as if all Nigerian ladies that got married depend solely on their husband. Some are breadwinners. Some share financial responsibility with their hubby willingly.



Not all our ladies are leeches abeg

Your wife is providing feedback that you don't seem to care about her career or how she is doing at work and you are here advising OP?

I disagree with your general conclusion. A marriage is a union at all levels. OP is most likely a detailed man who plans a lot. My wife initially used to vex but when I demonstrated a few things including what the plan would result in - she began singing a new song.

PS please go talk to your wife about her career. Understand what is happening at her place of work.

There is also nothing wrong with a woman deciding to be an housewife. That is immense sacrifice on the part of a woman. Housewife doesn't mean they don't have hustles. My mum sacrificed her time for us but was a teacher and entrepreneur at the side.

LagosInter:


Why is your wife working? Because working will still lead to negligence and dereliction of duties at home.

Why doesn't she just stay at home and take care of chores?

Before I got married, I wake up, clean, cook, go to work and come back. At weekend I cook and clean.... entering into marriage I still cook for myself and wife and clean weekends and still go to work....

BigBashiru:


Exactly she should have challenged and negotiated until they reached an agreement....

She never loved him simple!!!.

A wise woman would've said "we don't need that vacation for now, let's scrap it".

Some people blame Op for raising this issue before marriage, Abeg wen was the best time to make financial plans for marriage before?
My own story:
I married my wife a student, though she was already in her finals, before you know, pregnancy, childbirth etc so she never worked for long and I was used to shouldering every bills. But walahi, it was telling, to fuel just generator daily is over 30k monthly unless, you don’t want to live basic standards, feeding, education, rent, medical care, no savings ooo.
I was then working with a commissioner who offered her a 2 year contract job with her ministry. Brethren, this job her new job was how I got to know women see your money as hers and hers as hers.
I suggested she handled some few basics I outlined, barely 40% of her salary to enable my breath atleast, she agreed, but rebelled after 3 months, that her money is her sweat and she cannot contribute it to my home. This nearly ended the marriage.
Worst of it, it got to my Boss who got her the job because she had threatened divorce and it has even divided both our families, my boss being a woman took her side, along side her pastor(never allow a pastor who is not a trained psychologist counsel your marital issues).
You needed to see them lamblast me in her presence, how I am a useless man for looking at her salary, how I am even supposed to give her money wether she works or not, how she is my full responsibility, how real men run their homes 100%, how she is at liberty to decide wether she was going to support or not.

This made her more deviant in her stand. They tried to cow me into submission in the Bishop’s office, at the end I opted for divorce to their amazement. She was also willing to tow the line. She moved out, into her sister’s while we contemplated how to officially go about the divorce since we did court wedding and had no idea how to, her family geared her on, 2 weeks later, she came back begging and asking for forgiveness and begging my parents because this thing tore through the entire family.

What has changed? Firstly, same married sister who also encouraged her started giving her and my son attitude in her home barely 2 weeks, secondly, her immediate boss a woman showed her the foolery in her actions, she saw first hand how virtually all the women working around her were either bread winners or financing their homes sometimes above 50%.

Today, I don’t even live with them, but she specifically asked me not to spend on running the home so I can focus on capital expenditure. She runs the home 100%, I only pay their rent and school fees, nothing else. She supervises our projects herself l, so she can see where all the efforts are going into. If I had not stood my ground, maybe by now, I will still be in one circle thinking I am moving.
Again, no sane formula for marriage, each situation is unique, what works for A might not work for B, but he who fails to plan, has already planned to fail.

Misterdhee1:

Your husband’s salary goes into your account? Lmao

Oga, my husband said it worked for his parents and so far 2yrs+ of marriage, it's working well for us.
I don't know the type of mum that raised you or the kind of female that you roll with, i am just not them.

enonche85:


Really?. At what point does it become necessary.

If you wanna marry, don't try to get perfection... I mean a perfect relationship or whatever that means.... just keep asking the right questions.



Ask your girlfriend the right questions..... ask what she thinks can work for both of you in certain areas.... don't try to enforce a so-called perfect proposal or whatever that means.



Just ask and respond to her reply... you guys have to keep doing this for as long as possible or for as long as the relationship exists towards making decisions that won't lead to unnecessary cases......

Th

bigpicture001:


Thanks man.. heard from her friend that sh said am too stingy,.

Honestly I didn't make her spend up to 50k from her wage.. 300k is not big and can be exhausted soon..

The weight will be too much if I form the normal Nigerian guy who likes to carry load on their head

That's well said, only in d states will u get an agreed relationship that is heavily covered nd stated by both parties willingly whereby there is a shared responsibilities 4rm both parties. Its ain't a problem 2 them. Nd they sail peacefully into d relationship buh nt in dis our immediate Nigeria. My brother, it only take God intervention 2 c a well devoted, understanding,committed lady dat will agree to ur terms nd conditions. When there is life, abeg hope dey. Cheers!

vincentjk:


But i asked a simple question; are you saying she should keep her 80k all to herself while helping her husband munch his money?

Not at all ,why would she keep her 80k?but op has a 300k taste . Ordinarily she would not be thinking of saving for a vacation not to talk of abroad with her 80k , she would have tailored her salary according to the purchasing power.

Now she has to live the life style of a 300k earner's wife with her 80k.she will dress like a 300k earner's wife, go to outings like a 300k earners wife, eat like a 300k earners wife while the op get to steer the wheel and dictate according to his 300k taste.


She might end up spending all her salary just to meet the taste of her 300k earning husband who has set the standard for 300k not 80k.

At a general level, what OP has done is suggest a financial plan. I have read people say that this means stinginess, it is not SMART, it means he is not a man, that he is a dictator. I disagree. I have my plan and I am sure most sensible men have their spreadsheet for those who are computer literate.

So it is definitely a RED CARD. OP suggested a plan! A budget is financial priority number one in a marriage. That would help you know what you are going to save, what you are going to spend and how you are going to face financial requests.

Once again it is a plan. An adult who is mature would either negotiate or tweak the plan with OP. An immature person would go and tell her friends and call her boyfriend or soon to be husband immature. The girl's response shows her level of maturity and thinking. Also there should be every hope that his and her salary would improve.

OP can invest time to discuss and see what scared her. No couple is perfect or matured.

Free advice: Use this opportunity to see if she is one of those who is uncomfortable discussing finances.

dmostcheerful:

Oga I read everything.
You all wants a woman to contribute financially running the family, do you contribute in chores, will you give birth for her?
Will you take care of the kids when they start coming.
Most of you don't even know how to wash plate, how do you expect a woman to wake by 4:30am make breakfast and lunch, leave for 2ork.
Come back by 4pm.
Wash the cloth, keep the house, do school runs and still be financially responsible too.
You need a woman to take care of the home money wise what do you do domestic too?
From that 80k she will make her hair monthly too.
A pack of attachment is 2500 she needs like 2 pack, then 5k to the hair dresser, she buys her tappon, buys her clothing's out of the said 80k.
You people are so selfish here.
Out of all expenses he listed he won't even be spending upto 150k.
He have over 150k to save, what exactly does the wife save too?
Also who should be responsible for clothings?
A man's major responsibility is providing financially for the family.
Making his family comfortable.
A woman's is keeping the family, cooking, cleaning, the kids and so on.
Look I am married too, any salary from my husband's pay goes directly to my account as soon as he gets it, I buy all that is needed for the month, give account and we save the rest.
You can't marry a woman and place financial responsibility on her, the early you understand a woman should do that voluntarily and a man should do chores voluntarily the earlier for you.
Except you 2ants to run back to nairaland with, "please help me how do I solve this problem in my family?"

@bolded Preach it louder.

wirinet:


Any other lady would be scared away by his contribution proposal. Only desperate women with their biological clock running out with enter marriage under such conditions.

As I said earlier the OP had no set goals for the marriage, his only concern was how much physical cash he will have to spend during the marriage. Number of children was never discussed. Their prospective careers and ambitions was never discussed. How to deal with extended family members were never discussed. How to raise the kids when they are very young and vulnerable was not discussed. If he intends to have three children in quick succession, the first 10 years would be very demanding on the woman. I hate leaving my children with househelps/ relations, due to the numerous horror stories I have actually witnessesed and read online.

Most people have a wrong impression of marriage and that's why most marriages nowadays fail within the first 10 years. In marriage two is supposed to become one. You finances should become one instead of two. The standard of living of both individual should be the same. The two incomes should be aggregated and the living expenses and lifestyle should be calculated on the total join income. The you contribute this, I contribute that approach is too individualistic.

Ok. What happens if the man is sacked and the woman finds a job that pays much more? Would you still insist on the initial contributions or you demand a new contributions formula? What happens if the man has an accident or has a debilitating illness or temporarily incapacitated?

The way the OP broached the issue is very wrong.

From the onset he called it "financial plan", not general family operations.

Mariangeles:
On top 80k salary, you want make she dey drop 10k every month for trust account, 20k for joint account, provide "food supplement", make she still choose between NEPA bill, DSTV, or GOTV subscription...on top wetin?
Oga, how much wan remain to take buy clothes, cosmetics and toiletries for herself na (cos e sure me dai say you no fit buy those things for her), not to talk of find her parents something? Unto say she marry you?

Abeg! Carry your wahala go front!

The food supplementing part kuku off me, radarada. That food supplementing part will finish the remaining 50k left.

Radarada.

NoToPile:


@bolded Preach it louder.

No one is placing any responsibility on a woman....all we are saying is that she went to university and therefore should be responsible for herself and her needs....I.e. she shouldn't be asking the husband for moni she will spend on herself...

Officialtruekay:
Th

That's well said, only in d states will u get an agreed relationship that is heavily covered nd stated by both parties willingly whereby there is a shared responsibilities 4rm both parties. Its ain't a problem 2 them. Nd they sail peacefully into d relationship buh nt in dis our immediate Nigeria. My brother, it only take God intervention 2 c a well devoted, understanding,committed lady dat will agree to ur terms nd conditions. When there is life, abeg hope dey. Cheers!

Na this one i nor dey like make una dey talk. Does Nigeria have divorce settlement and child support ,do you know with this kind of plan ,in the case of a divorce in the "states" na jackpot the woman hit? Judging that she has been contributing reasonably before the divorce? Her divorce lawyer go just dey smile.

Biggie2000:

So you didn't see the part where he said he will be contributing 40K, buy food stuff, change electronics, pay rent, contribute 50K for vacation, pay for health insurance, buy and also maintain the family car? U nor see am abi? Someone earning just 300K has promised to handle all these heavy responsibilities, still yet ndi females are still not happy. God abeg o. Ordinary money to buy fuel for the generator and car in a month will cost more than 50K, where do you now expect him to see money for the rest responsibilities? Make e go thief abi?
Even if he made the plans without her, why didn't she negotiate? Why did she run?
The fact she didn't even try to Negotiate, shows she's not serious. She no negotiate, she just japa straight
*Modify*
Some of you are saying the OP will have issues getting another woman, are you aware that some females are actually shooting their shots at OP in the comment section? You shouldn't be surprised that some will still PM him.

.You have only heard one side of the whole story. Don't judge yet.

BigBashiru:


No one is placing any responsibility on a woman....all we are saying is that she went to school and therefore should be responsible for herself and her needs....

At least the OP is or what the OP placed is not responsibility?