bigpicture001:


Well, u might be saying the truth with this number 4, but I made her understand that marriage without traveling vacations will mk it very boring.. ND wen I say travel I mean within Nigeria resorts or very good African countries like Egypt, south Africa, Kenya Namibia etc.. if income increases we start trying over seas...


I huzle, she works with the FG ..

My Nigga!! Wen we kids see stuffs like this, we get glad and same time wonder. Glad because our seniors wants to settle down..wonder because the partner to be wants to evade responsibilities when she knows that in this era, it takes two working class to tangle. I might not have known how and when u brought up this topic to her BUT to an extent, it's obvious our girls still hold this NA AFRICAN MAN MUST PROVIDE mentality. This is by far the best post on Nairaland since Jan 1st

Biggie2000:

OK, although I don't support misogyny and misandry, but permit me to ask this question:
let's say I'm able to pay for a surrogate to birth my child, I pay for someone to cook, I pay for someone to clean the house; what then will I need a wife for? What extraordinary thing will she bring to the table?
NB: I'm not asking this question in a quarrelsome manner, but simply to have a logical conversation.

If you can fund it no one is stopping you.

Surrogacy combined with ivf does not come cheap and the IVF trials is not guaranteed, you pay care givers, cook/ chef ,cleaners,pay for hookup when you want to pour, go right ahead.

But I just want you to know that despite not bringing anything to the table a wife will do all this and more for free,but it's funny how it's still not worth being on the table if such a heavily funded lifestyle can be saved by her.

UyaiIncomparabl:


A necessary one you will definitely end up with.

Nah. I have chosen to stay single for life. Get eggs from a bank and have kids via a surrogate mum.......life shouldn't be that hard.

BigBashiru:


There's nothing like "responsibility as a man".... that's based on the old model of marriage...

Every man that marries a woman provides her with shelter and food....

Everything else she wants she should provide for herself....because she is a university graduate and can work....

Bros are you kidding with what you just said? Like you literally sounded like you are doing her a favour marrying her

Go and pay for surrogacy or adopt and save yourself all these sharing of responsibility

Simran94:

Ahhh, if that's the case then he won't find anybody. Why would you decide the amount of money I spend from my own money? Which man?

If you make like 150K you shouldn’t have a problem contributing up to 50K while he contributes 100K, would you?

NigeriaIsGreat:
Bros are you kidding with what you just said? Like you literally sounded like you are doing her a favour marrying her

Go and pay for surrogacy or adopt and save yourself all these sharing of responsibility

When a man marries a woman she comes into his house and is provided food and shelter/ comfort esp if the man lives in ikoyi, asokoro etc....

The wife is a university graduate this means she can work and make money in her field.... hence she should work, make her own moni and support herself....

That's why men prefer graduates who work to support themselves (not give me her money (I don't need it) or "contribute" cos I don't need her money/contribution), but she should spend her moni on her self..... and on her children wen children comes (doesn't have to be a large amountt)....

Babes only do wats convenient for them....don't encourage narcissism in ladies....

Maybe one day the husband becomes rich a d might even ask her to stop working

Ladycewhy:
If you can fund it no one is stopping you.

Surrogacy combine with ivf does not come cheap and the IVF trials is not guaranteed, you pay care givers, cook/ chef ,cleaners,pay for hookup when you want to pour, go right ahead.

But I just want you to know that despite not bringing anything to the table a wife will do all this and more for free,but it's funny how it's still not worth being on the table if such a heavily funded lifestyle can be saved by her.

So, you agree that wifely duties can be bought with money? Yes or No? Please, no long talks, it's just a yes or no question.

Biggie2000:

So, you agree that wifely duties can be bought with money? Yes or No? Please, no long talks, it's just a yes or no question.

My dear wife duties can be bought with money.... the only wife duty that can't be bought with moni is maternal natal care - breast feeding and genuine child care....

Na absolute Christianity were bring us monogamy....rich men of old married many wives and outsourced wife duties.

naijainstinct:
Nah. I have chosen to stay single for life. Get eggs from a bank and have kids via a surrogate mum.......life shouldn't be that hard.

Cheers to a lonely long life.

enonche85:


She had the option of challenging what he's proposing, afterall they're not married yet but she chose to run away instead.

She has the right to reject any proposal she doesn't like. She owes him nothing as he is just a boyfriend. She didn't run, she rejected
an unreasonable proposal.
If you are a business person, you would know there are some proposals you do not negotiate because
they are inherently unfair and they tell you a lot about the consequences of going into a partnership with
the proponent.

Even though this story is fiction, the woman is definitely smart and has healthy self-esteem.
A desperate and deceptive one would have agreed to whatever arrangement then change after marriage
and maybe a kid or two.

UyaiIncomparabl:


Cheers to a lonely long life.

There is a constant stream of young girls and aged desperate girls over 35 that will keep him company without commitment....

So his life won't be lonely at all....

He can even decide to have 100 girlfriends + 5 wives..... how'd that a lonely life??

You have just been saved from the DEVIL you can see..Thank God you are saved indeed.. Devils are moving around in the name of female looking for who they will devour and entrap...OGA thank God well well.

ivolt:

She has the right to reject any proposal she doesn't like. She owes him nothing as he is just a boyfriend. She didn't run, she rejected
an unreasonable proposal.
If you are a business person, you would know there are some proposals you do not negotiate because
they are inherently unfair and they tell you a lot about the consequences of going into a partnership with
the proponent.

Even though this story is fiction, the woman is definitely smart and has healthy self-esteem.
A desperate and deceptive one would have agreed to whatever arrangement then change after marriage
and maybe a kid or two.

Marriage contract begins even b4 the wedding ceremony itself.... so she rejected the financial proposal in wife capacity....

I agree with u on desperate and deceptive woman bit

socialmediaman:


If you make like 150K you shouldn’t have a problem contributing up to 50K while he contributes 100K, would you?

No I wouldn't.

The OP is not ready for marriage because someone told him to go and marry single medical doctor or someone who earns close to what he earns, Oga said no, that the higher a woman earns, the more difficult she becomes.

BigBashiru:


When a man marries a woman she comes into his house and is provided food and shelter/ comfort esp if the man lives in ikoyi, asokoro etc....

The wife is a university graduate this means she can work and make money in her field.... hence she should work, make her own moni and support herself....

That's why men prefer graduates who work to support themselves (not give me her money (I don't need it) or "contribute" cos I don't need her money), but she should spend her moni on her self..... and on her children wen children comes (doesn't have to be a large amountt)....

Babes only do wats convenient for them....don't encourage narcissism in ladies....

Maybe one day the husband becomes rich a d might even ask her to stop working

Bros, Men don't marry educated ladies so she could work and earn something. No! You completely got it wrong sir!

Men prefer marrying educated ladies basically so she can help in raising a good home and support the children in school assignment, PTA meetings etc. Men prefer educated ladies so she would be presentable in the public and capable of expressing herself freely

Men go for educated ladies so she would be smart enough in taking decision on her own without waiting for her hubby as the alpha and omega

Men prefer educated ladies so she would be smart enough in knowing her right and cannot be cheated outside

Your point is completely flawed sir!

You are a man ensure you marry a wife material who's humbly ready to settle for marriage & cheaper to maintain, take responsibility of the cost of the family, she may contribute.... Assuming one lose his job, how would you balance the other responsibilities ?

Ladycewhy:
lol.

E nor go reach am do. Op na silent pain e go dey give who follow am dey house. People like op na on egg shells you go constantly dey walk around dem cos them dey always reason one kind.

hahahaha lol



You and op fit be match oh as u don understand him, who knows

Simran94:

No I wouldn't.

The OP is not ready for marriage because someone told him to go and marry single medical doctor or someone who earns close to what he earns, Oga said no, that the higher a woman earns, the more difficult she becomes.

hahahahaha, maybe na mami iwota go fit am

Myexdisturbs:

This is exactly why doctors marry themselves

yh.. 90 percent of them.

NigeriaIsGreat:

Bros, Men don't marry educated ladies so she could work and earn something. No! You completely got it wrong sir!

Men prefer marrying educated ladies basically so she can help in raising a good home and support the children in school assignment, PTA meetings etc. Men prefer educated ladies so she would be presentable in the public and capable of expressing herself freely

Men go for educated ladies so she would be smart enough in taking decision on her own without waiting for her hubby as the alpha and omega

Men prefer educated ladies so she would be smart enough in knowing her right and cannot be cheated outside

Your point is completely flawed sir!

Any person with secondary school educationis already educated. Some go on to colleges and polytechnics but u don't need both or uni to be "educated"....

Did her parents send her to school for PTA and presentability primarily? NO. Her parents sent her to school primarily so that she would be financially independent afterwards.

Look each to their own....if u believe in the old marriage model then good fir u...pls add me among ur wives so u can be giving me moni too....I will do chores and take care of the babies....

UyaiIncomparabl:


Cheers to a lonely long life.

Lol....

SaveMeLord:
98% of Nigerian women are looking for a Messiah that will carry all their load without them having to do anything. Op the type of lady you are looking for to marry in Nigeria. There are only 464 of them. 350 are already married and have been married for long, 60 have travelled abroad and most have been taken by reasonable men there and the remaining 54 are here in Nigeria scattered across the Country i.e at least 1 or 2 per state.

Now Op the probability of you meeting the type of woman that will want to be a partner and sacrifice in the marriage is the same as the probability of winning the USA Powerball lottery which is very unlikely.

You can decide to be single and unmarried nobody will kill you and preserve your peace of mind. Just look at the first entitled leach that commented above. That is how most of them are. Leave her by the time she start to old she'll come back they always have this useless overconfidence that they are too fine and another better guy is coming for them until reality dawns on their frail brains

Especially that first bìtch that commented

Marriage is just another female empowerment program

Apart from procreation what else does men benefit from it

NigeriaIsGreat:

Bros, Men don't marry educated ladies so she could work and earn something. No! You completely got it wrong sir!

Men prefer marrying educated ladies basically so she can help in raising a good home and support the children in school assignment, PTA meetings etc. Men prefer educated ladies so she would be presentable in the public and capable of expressing herself freely

Men go for educated ladies so she would be smart enough in taking decision on her own without waiting for her hubby as the alpha and omega

Men prefer educated ladies so she would be smart enough in knowing her right and cannot be cheated outside

Your point is completely flawed sir!

Pls come and give me N100000 for my upkeep this month....as ur new wife.... I'm presentable tho hold a degree....

tunjilana:


I love your perspective...but I have also seen women who earn 80k aspiring to a lifestyle of someone who earns 500k and expecting that lifestyle to be funded by their 500k earning husband without them contributing...

Everyone has the right to aspire for better things. To aspire is human and it is one of the motivations for growth. What is unacceptable is attempting criminally, forcefully or immorally fulfilling one's aspiration.

Truth is we need to teach young girls that the world has moved away from a man is a provider mantra...same way women are constantly teaching young boys that a woman shudnt be seen as a domestic entity...

Why young girls alone? I think it is wrong to groom children for marriage these days. It only set
them up for frustration if they end up in one which doesn't meet society standard or couldn't find a partner. Parents should teach their kids how to be financially free, be responsible member of the society and the importance of choice. Whether they choose marriage at all or the type of the marriage should be left to the adult.

While a lot have changed, the idea of the traditional family is still dominant in most part of the world. Even in the supposedly equal western nation, the richer partner shoulders majority of the financial responsibility and complete role reversal even occurs in economically unequal partners. There is no equal contribution in marriage whether financially or domestically.
I believe all marriage arrangements are good as long as the partners willfully agree to its terms.

I have spoken to a lot of young males and many cant fathom the idea of solely providing for a family they co create with another human...

A sole provider is very rare at least from where I come from.
Having done NGO outreach and family research in the past, I have been able to see things up-close rather than based on assumptions.
If we ignore the religious conservatives whose wives are expected to stay at home, the closest you can get
to a sole provider is found among some urban higher class who tolerate or even encourage housewife lifestyle.

Among other groups, the women definitely contribute even if it is not equal.

some even tell u that they will rather not marry and probably go the baby mama route if that is the case

It is time everybody accepts that marriage is not a do-or-die affair.
If finance is the major reason for baby mama's decision, then young males did are myopic.
Baby mamas are not cheap as they are assumed to be.
In order for a man to save money through baby mama, he has to be irresponsible
or find a baby mama with a similar income. And we are back to square one.

Take this fictional 300K guy for example, will he be comfortable with his child being raised in neighbourhoods where 80K earners live? Will he accept the modest school the baby mama
can afford in order to save money?

Don't let me even go into the long-term effect of baby mamas on society as a whole.

Surrogacy plus nanny hire is the way to save money by avoiding marriage but I suspect most men can't afford it.

....the world has changed and whoever doesn't change will get burnt

By burnt, I hope you don't mean not getting married because that is an archaic mentality.
Very soon it will be normal to stay single and that is when people will realize
that you can't change a part of a system without upsetting the whole system.

Lightway:


Look at this simp.... Sanitary pads of 2k tops, makeup is not necessary for a woman. Perfume is 2k tops.

Hair is expensive...

Hehehehe

Why do I care sef

Comrade leave the SIMP

This thread is full of SIMPish comment

**Spits**

Biggie2000:

So, you agree that wifely duties can be bought with money? Yes or No? Please, no long talks, it's just a yes or no question.

yes.

franchasng:
hahahaha lol



You and op fit be match oh as u don understand him, who knows

Lol

Nah, I dey quick code some kind traits for people as per say I don see things for this small life .I nor fit for e type wahala.

BigBashiru:


Pls come and give me N100000 for my upkeep this month....as ur new wife.... I'm presentable tho hold a degree....

Boss, my second name sef na SAPA

mixta140:

Its happening to me as the first child in the family....

My sister. Please love yourself first and ur family subsequently. Make good plans for your future and your old age. Don't please your family to your detriment and then end up at old at their mercies. I love my maternal grand dad so much. He was the best dad anyone can wish for. His wife did early and he had to quit his job with the federal government just to ensure he played the role of a father and a mother simultaneously on his children. He gave them the best he could offer. But on his old age, his male children that were doing financially well abandoned him bcs their wives won't allow them to take care of him. But they will always take good care of their in-laws and abandon their own father. They won't even visit him. Should they even visit him, it's one problem or the other at the instigation of their wives. His son that accepted to take care of him later changed and was making life miserable for him to the extent of flogging his own father. It was that one's wife that was taking care of him like her own father. Later he died bcs of lack of adequate care. It pained me much cus I was doing my nysc then. Had it been now that I'm working, I would have brought him up to my house in Abuja and employ someone that will look after him for me.
So my dear, the kind of energy we spend on family and children are not worth it sometimes. Think about yourself first and family comes later. Family sometimes is a scam.

UyaiIncomparabl:
You're not serious. Never split bills with a woman. Let her decide to pick up bills that she can afford. You seem very irresponsible.

na women like una I like..
Cos ah 4 show you shege ehh..
Woman my foot..

Biggie2000:

So, you agree that wifely duties can be bought with money? Yes or No? Please, no long talks, it's just a yes or no question.

And hunbandly duties cannot be outsourced? If a girl has some man that can provide for her a house, protection, money and sex, what does she need a husband for?

dmostcheerful:

During the time of or fore fathers that was how it is.
A woman stays at home rare kids, do chores take care of the husband why the man provide for the family.
Do we hear anything about divorce then?
That was Christ intention for the family, husband toil and provide for the family wife suffer and bear kids, how has it been going?
Before selfish beings like you who won't do nothing at home but expect a woman to help you conditionally financially.
Some of you forget your wife's even have family before they met you.
It's always about you all, your type don't even know how to dress the bed you wake up from.

Codswallop.

Same men that build houses for their in laws, sends the wife's siblings to schools etc.

Selfish beings.

Mothers those days were valuable, made good meals, helped at farms, stayed faithful and nurtured their homes.

What do you get now? Bunch of low self esteemed bimbos with phones, always online seeking validation from men.

Gosh!