Welcome, Guest: Register On Nairaland / LOGIN! / Trending / Recent / NewStats: 3,201,898 members, 7,980,142 topics. Date: Sunday, 20 October 2024 at 06:53 AM |
Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Travel / Living In The Uk-life Of An Immigrant (part 2) (1300861 Views)
Living In The Uk-life Of An Immigrant (part 3) / Living In Canada/Life As A Canadian Immigrant Part 2 / Living In The Uk/life As A UK Immigrant (2) (3) (4)
(1) (2) (3) ... (163) (164) (165) (166) (167) (168) (169) ... (1007) (Go Down)
Re: Living In The Uk-life Of An Immigrant (part 2) by DisGuy: 2:33am On Jan 06, 2022 |
Adapapaokoye: I do the same with mine, just stash money there and use my Halifax and Monzo for salary and daily transactions 1 Like |
Re: Living In The Uk-life Of An Immigrant (part 2) by babajeje123(m): 2:57am On Jan 06, 2022 |
Funky123:Thank you |
Re: Living In The Uk-life Of An Immigrant (part 2) by babajeje123(m): 3:05am On Jan 06, 2022 |
Thank you all so much for these priceless advice, they are well appreciated. 3 Likes |
Re: Living In The Uk-life Of An Immigrant (part 2) by Ticha: 3:49am On Jan 06, 2022 |
babajeje123: She needs to get a job and you both sort childcare between you. Until you're both feeling the full pinch of bearing all expenses, she won't understand. Even bringing your mum will only afford you a max of 6 months childcare. Add cost of visa, flights, settling mama when she leaves and you're better off finding out a better way to make things work for both of you. Re - divorce no, she doesn't have the upper hand however if you're on a student visa and she's your dependant it does mean she'll lose her visa. Imagine how you'll cope with childcare and work then? Idle mind is the devil's workshop no be just talk o. 5 Likes |
Re: Living In The Uk-life Of An Immigrant (part 2) by Ticha: 4:00am On Jan 06, 2022 |
canadaishome: I totally agree with this. She needs to get a job and send money home if that's what she wants to do. One of the biggest mistakes we make is not being financially stable enough before we take on extended financial obligations which means people permanently keep threading water and struggling to survive. UK wey you go starve die for your house and no one will miss your absence. 3 Likes |
Re: Living In The Uk-life Of An Immigrant (part 2) by dupyshoo: 4:38am On Jan 06, 2022 |
@babajeje123, I agree with Ticha's advice. That's why I quoted the comment It is also very expensive to bring parents here. We have been bringing both mums every year for years now so I know it is not cheap. I will advice you get Skilled Worker Visa/PSW sorted out first before bringing mums into the picture. It is early days. Asides from the peace of mind when you have your parents looking after your kids, it is usually not that cheaper on the long run. Think of passport fee, visa fees, flight cost, covid test cost, settling your mum when she is going back and all the things she will have to take back home. God help you if she falls ill while here. We bring our mums not for childcare now but just for them to spend time with their grandchildren and to leave the stress of Naija for a while. Since she already feels bad that you are bringing your mum, I think you should put that on hold first. You need to sit with her, have a honest discussion about this. Bringing her now will only bring further resentment. To really make it here, you will need to work together as a team and combine resources and strengths. Please do not run away from your home as there are wolves in sheep clothing out there. Laslas, you will likely regret it. As others have said, let her get a job first, preferably a night job, so you won't need to spend much on childcare except on few occasions. Also, try to network with other Nigerians, you might be able to get people that will help with childcare at a cheaper rate. Ticha: 6 Likes |
Re: Living In The Uk-life Of An Immigrant (part 2) by dupyshoo: 4:49am On Jan 06, 2022 |
I will agree with this only if he does not see giving his own mum money monthly as an obligation as well, if he has siblings too. Decision on giving money to parents should be based on fairness, affordability and situations of the parents. canadaishome: 4 Likes |
Re: Living In The Uk-life Of An Immigrant (part 2) by deept(m): 5:10am On Jan 06, 2022 |
[quote author=Iruosonobrugwhe post=109117293][/quote] Gbam!!! |
Re: Living In The Uk-life Of An Immigrant (part 2) by deept(m): 5:15am On Jan 06, 2022 |
justwise: My brother!!!!! They want to kill the gentleman. On student visa, 20hrs work week, school fees, rent, bills, wife and two kids. 9 Likes 1 Share |
Re: Living In The Uk-life Of An Immigrant (part 2) by TheGuyFromHR: 5:36am On Jan 06, 2022 |
captainhoo: I would avoid Aston in the OP's shoes. |
Re: Living In The Uk-life Of An Immigrant (part 2) by Viruses: 6:06am On Jan 06, 2022 |
Ugool: I will take it that you haven't understood the rental terms. 12 months or 6 months contract means you will sign that you will stay in the apartment for 12 or 6 months respectively. However, you pay rent monthly or weekly. So if the house rent is £500, you sign 12/6 months contract but you'll be paying £500 monthly or about £125 weekly. You will deduct the deposit from your first month's payment if you eventually get the apartment. If you can mention the payments in your etc, further clarification will be provided. 10 Likes |
Re: Living In The Uk-life Of An Immigrant (part 2) by Viruses: 6:16am On Jan 06, 2022 |
Pearlyfaze: You can get direct landlords contacts from open rent. Try them 4 Likes |
Re: Living In The Uk-life Of An Immigrant (part 2) by TheGuyFromHR: 7:02am On Jan 06, 2022 |
deept: More like a mutual suicide pact. 4 Likes |
Re: Living In The Uk-life Of An Immigrant (part 2) by canadaishome: 7:11am On Jan 06, 2022 |
Anyone living in Glasgow that might have information for a 2 bedroom to rent? Asking for a friend that just moved there and is currently in a hotel |
Re: Living In The Uk-life Of An Immigrant (part 2) by justwise(m): 8:01am On Jan 06, 2022 |
deept: Its pure madness! The op and his family need a truck load of money to move from one visa category to another. Every visa extension will cost them thousands till they are all British citizens, so where will the money come from if you put your mother inlaw on payroll while holding visa? 2 Likes 1 Share |
Re: Living In The Uk-life Of An Immigrant (part 2) by deept(m): 8:02am On Jan 06, 2022 |
babajeje123: Sit her down and ask what her plan is for the family and how she thinks you both can achieve this in the short and long term. Do not interrupt. When she finishes, help her understand where you are now, your current situation and what it will take to get to where she sees the family and how she can help you to achieve these things. 6 Likes 1 Share |
Re: Living In The Uk-life Of An Immigrant (part 2) by AirBay: 8:20am On Jan 06, 2022 |
IcecoldDon: If you're looking for something nice, you need to increase your budget to £700 at least. Avoid Aston, Westbrom, Bordesley, Soho Road, Lozells...na mad ppl full these areas. You can check Erdington, Perry bar, Kings heath, Handsworth 4 Likes |
Re: Living In The Uk-life Of An Immigrant (part 2) by babajeje123(m): 8:30am On Jan 06, 2022 |
dupyshoo:I agreed with all you have said but I won't agree to the fact that giving my mother money every month is not my obligation as long as it doesn't come from our common purse. Same is applicable to her. Giving to her mom every month is not my responsibility, I already told her this morning when we discussed. It is hers and her siblings. Whatever I give at anytime is an addition. We have been married for 9 years and I have never asked whether she gave my mum anything or not. Like everyone rightly said, I have jettisoned the idea of bringing my mom and I have told her this, although she said she doesn't have any issue in my mum coming but I will stick to it. Thank you all once again. 23 Likes 1 Share |
Re: Living In The Uk-life Of An Immigrant (part 2) by babajeje123(m): 8:35am On Jan 06, 2022 |
justwise:I have told her I can't be giving her mom money monthly. It is not sustainable. My mom will understand if at any point I don't give her a penny for months, hers might not and I don't want to start what I can't finish. I told her I don't have any plan for her mom but she should let me know her own plans for her mom and I will support. 15 Likes |
Re: Living In The Uk-life Of An Immigrant (part 2) by Healhtyliving: 9:01am On Jan 06, 2022 |
Apologies I might be wrong I can still sense anger in your response. Please take it easy with your wife. She might not know what you went through in bringing her and kids her if you have not had a heart to heart talk about this. Communicationis key. I think after 9yrs you both should know each other's weak point. Marriage is sweet ooo. Like someone mentioned lot of wolves in sheep's clothing out there. babajeje123: 1 Like |
Re: Living In The Uk-life Of An Immigrant (part 2) by Munamoqel: 9:17am On Jan 06, 2022 |
babajeje123:please what type of Visa are you holding ? to carry this weight ? before the stoppage of the psw most student I know moved back to nijia after the 2 years psw .it seems your wife assume student visa =to British citizenship .your need to tell everyone the true picture that it a temporary status and more work need to be done to be permanent. 6 Likes |
Re: Living In The Uk-life Of An Immigrant (part 2) by Munamoqel: 9:24am On Jan 06, 2022 |
justwise:me am even surprise the family expectation on a student visa is more than that of a British citizen or persons with work permits .even student on ptdf scholarship or research stipends would not try this sucidal move unless they are super wealthy from Nigeria . 2 Likes |
Re: Living In The Uk-life Of An Immigrant (part 2) by dupyshoo: 9:36am On Jan 06, 2022 |
I understand your point but if you look at my comments, I said it should be based on affordability and needs of the parents. You should only give if you can afford it, which it is obvious that you cannot afford. babajeje123: |
Re: Living In The Uk-life Of An Immigrant (part 2) by IcecoldDon: 9:56am On Jan 06, 2022 |
Thanks Bro. I have seen here something concerning the energy rating as A to D was considered good, so that was what I was a bit vague about. Also the 2 older kids will be 3 and 6 by April, will they both have to wait till September to get into school or is there any kind of unofficial school program for such kids that just came into the country. I have heard a lot of good things about catholic schools as well and will check them out based on your recommendations. dubaiprince: |
Re: Living In The Uk-life Of An Immigrant (part 2) by IcecoldDon: 10:11am On Jan 06, 2022 |
Thanks Bro. I think Erdington is also close to Kingstanding as well. I will take a close look at it definitely. Thanks captainhoo: |
Re: Living In The Uk-life Of An Immigrant (part 2) by mimilyrics: 10:39am On Jan 06, 2022 |
Your child has to be 5 by August 31 in the year that they'll start school; that means that your 3 year old won't be able to start till the Sept following the April that he/she turns 5. For your 6 year old, you need to check the schools that you want him/her to go to for their application details as most schools close their applications in January and make offers in April. You can check the links below for more info: https://www.gov.uk/schools-admissions/how-to-apply https://www.gov.uk/apply-for-primary-school-place IcecoldDon: |
Re: Living In The Uk-life Of An Immigrant (part 2) by mimilyrics: 11:20am On Jan 06, 2022 |
Below are current band 5 jobs (London- based) that offer Tier 2 sponsorship, if needed. https://www.healthjobsuk.com/job/UK/London/London/Guys_St_Thomas_NHS_Foundation_Trust/Surgical_Oncology/Surgical_Oncology-v3774063?_ts=10714 https://www.healthjobsuk.com/job/UK/London/London/Guys_St_Thomas_NHS_Foundation_Trust/Administration/Administration-v3759603?_ts=1883 6 Likes 1 Share |
Re: Living In The Uk-life Of An Immigrant (part 2) by justwise(m): 11:27am On Jan 06, 2022 |
babajeje123: Bros your immediate responsibilities are your kids and your wife, anything outside that is just secondary, I don’t know how to put this clearer to you … bro you need all the money you can get to survive here with your family. Ultimately it falls on your shoulders to provide for your family. . You on student visa takes home more than people with a stay because you are not taxed or pay council tax. When you are out of that visa category your take home will feel the heat and council tax comes in. 6 Likes |
Re: Living In The Uk-life Of An Immigrant (part 2) by Lastbornbuns: 11:47am On Jan 06, 2022 |
babajeje123: Babajeje123 Your wife has the typical Nigerian entitlement mentality and methinks her family members are encouraging her. As someone pointed out, she's probably the spokesperson. What is happening here is typical "I have a son/daughter in the abroad that should be sending pounds and dollars every month so I can live the good life and show people that we have arrived". She's probably still seeing the UK through Rose colored lens. As a new arrival, you have no business sending money home till you find your feet and you even said you're paying off debts due to the move. Sometimes when people talk about changing numbers and limiting contact with "home" people, we shouldn't judge them. Na dem sabi as de shoe take de pinch. Your wife isn't working but she wants her mom to be placed on monthly salary on your own account. She feels justified because you apparently "have the funds to bring your own mom to UK" so why should hers be left out? If she does nothing, her own mom would probably say bad things and poison her mind... or not. There are mothers like that. What you should do is to sit her down. Show her the estimated child care costs, living costs, visa costs etc. Then invite her to bring suggestions on how the two of you can raise funds for these costs or at the very least what you both can do to reduce some of these costs. Let her understand that life is hard o. If possible, put your income and expenditure on a spreadsheet. There will be time for showing off later when you both must have found your feet. Let her understand that her loyalty and yours first and foremost is to your immediate family. That is, your spouse and children. Not your mother, not your brother, not your sister. Same with her. Let her understand that it's not a competition whose mom will come to the UK first. Your 5 year old can start school so you just have to figure out childcare costs for the 3 year old. This too shall pass. Remove all thoughts of separation and divorce from your mind. The real victims are your children. You wouldn't like to subject them to custody battles and the rest of that. I'm still a student in Nigeria though so I can't really relate to the challenges of moving. In all, let love guide you. You married her for a reason. Remember that. 11 Likes |
Re: Living In The Uk-life Of An Immigrant (part 2) by wonlasewonimi: 11:54am On Jan 06, 2022 |
This country will shake you to the core as an immigrant, it could make you or mar you! @babajeje, this student journey will test you at every stage to the point of giving up on everything that matters to you. This is from 19 years experience! Read my lips - You cant be sending money to anyone whilst you're still finding your feet. Your wife needs to work to understand why the pounds have a surname called sterling. You guys have to work together in order to get a chance of success. Get yourself a blood pressure monitor too. A word is enough for the wise! 13 Likes |
Re: Living In The Uk-life Of An Immigrant (part 2) by SamReinvented: 12:22pm On Jan 06, 2022 |
dupyshoo: False equivalence. It’s his OWN mum. No one is stopping her from giving her mum money too. But that obligation shouldn’t be on her husband. Abeg. 5 Likes |
Re: Living In The Uk-life Of An Immigrant (part 2) by umarwy(m): 12:50pm On Jan 06, 2022 |
Ugool: Use right move/Facebook etc and send a message that looks like this. Hi I am a postgraduate student (nurse whatever) and I am interested in a long term let of your property at (address) I have 3/6 months rent payment and I am available to move in immediately. Please reach me on 01234483 to arrange for a suitable time for viewing. If you have guarantors state it as well. 5 Likes 1 Share |
(1) (2) (3) ... (163) (164) (165) (166) (167) (168) (169) ... (1007)
General Australian Student Visa Enquiries Part 3 / Uk Student Visa/tier 4 Pbs - Your Questions Answered Part 7 / Canadian Express Entry/Federal Skilled Workers Program-Connect Here Part 3
(Go Up)
Sections: politics (1) business autos (1) jobs (1) career education (1) romance computers phones travel sports fashion health religion celebs tv-movies music-radio literature webmasters programming techmarket Links: (1) (2) (3) (4) (5) (6) (7) (8) (9) (10) Nairaland - Copyright © 2005 - 2024 Oluwaseun Osewa. All rights reserved. See How To Advertise. 101 |