number one should be never vote an ancestor into office

Thanks and God bless you for this information

No manual for marriage

I disagree with number 2, thou it can only work if both of you come from good family,

Marriage = bondage
The first thing u lose in marriage is ur freedom

SADLY, People must ENDURE in Marriage for marriage to work.
And can people ENJOY what they ENDURE?

No wonder 95% of marriage don't work, people just just pretend, and they just live together for various reasons.
Marriage don't really worth the hype

Col0gne:
Marriage and it's endless list of rules ehh. Fact is, not everyone is marryable or destined for this.

Everyone is destined for marriage, let him or her check his/her character and know how to reach compromise with his/her or partner, when they do that, it will work as magic.

You can not be leaving as "my, my,my" in situations of "we,we,our" and expect peace.

You cannot be treating ur partner like slave and expected royalty treated return.

Say no to letting chaotic friends with no history of success in any relationship become your chief adviser. Your marriage will crash. Always carry your brains with you. Discuss with your spouse when you are married. Leave friends for only friendship discussions.

HacheNoire:
If you want to enjoy life and live long, stay away from Black women!

It’s automatically and genetically instilled in them.


If you feel you anxious to commit suicide, you don’t need a rope, all you need is a Nigerian wife

HAHAHA YOU NO WELL

say no to I'm not in the mood



say no to you did not satisfied me with SE*




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For the one of sleeping in different rooms, some couples can't help it Op... women like wears or clothings a whole lot and so sharing the same room won't really be nice if the accomodation is not so large. Most couples still be in love even though they sleep separately. It's not easy to sleep with a partner that snores abeg...that's a suicide mission .

For that of flirt, most men/women flirt on social media and if you start thinking about that...see you see your grave. It's not every issue one needs to think about in marriage cus this economy is frustrating already.
There's how long you will be in marriage, you won't remember your salary is yours jare...as a good wife wey I be, my salary and his are our own unless we want responsibilities to choke us. Our children is our number one priority and so why should we hide our money while they look unkempt?
I don't tolerate people insulting or belittling people I love most especially my husband , just be ready to be thrown out cus you are an intruder.
Marriage is more of being with one eye, one ear, no lips and no brain from both partners and every good thing that comes with it will fall into place. It's not a bed of roses but mine is 90% rose cus he makes me happy always like seriously.

complexBoss12:
I attended one wedding, a Catholic wedding. while preaching, the priest said something I will never forget. He was like, when you go to school, you get a cert after graduation. In endeavors of life, a certificate is issued at the END to show qualification.

Only in marriage, is a certificate issued the very day you step in. So from your first day you're are graduate, you're qualified. This is because in marriage the beginning is the end and the end is the beginning. For you to agree to be married means you have trained yourself and feel you qualified and ready.

But is that the case today?? most times I am **** scared if marriage. My father thought me that you never stop working on a marriage. The few ladies I have dated, when they discover you just want peace of mind and apologize even when you're right for the sake of peace, next they want to take you for a fool. Going the alpha way, keeps them in check, but doesn't really guarantee a happy home because I want my woman to love me and not fear me. This gender called women, you can never tell what it is they really want.

My verdict: Marriage has no solution or 12 or even 100 things to abide by, you can only try. Christians will say, only God can give a happy home.

Keep searching. You will find the kind that fits you.

HacheNoire:
If you want to enjoy life and live long, stay away from Black women!

It’s automatically and genetically instilled in them.


If you feel you anxious to commit suicide, you don’t need a rope, all you need is a Nigerian wife

Emi re a gun (you will live long)

Abeg manage this below

Right now I feel like jumping inside Eleyele River

Ladyhippolyta88:


This your number 3 needs more emphasis, especially to the so-called heads of the families specifically the average Nigerian man who sees headship as authoritarianism, that don't like to open up to their wives, listen and hear from them because they believe they should be making the decisions alone without due consultation.

Always learn to carry your wives along and you will not die if you adopt her advice or opinion on issues two heads are better than one and you can never know it all.

I know this advice is not gender specific but in the average Nigerian marriages it's men that often do this,while the women always consult them when she is the one making a decision

My take before doing this is... know who you married before doing this.
Many have gone down because of this!

Great advice

The rules way dey this marriage of a thing dey make it scare some of us...rules of marriage are mostly in favour of the wife ..

Wait o, I was sent to school by my parents, they helped me kick start life, I made it big and built my own house...then I come marry you. Your people almost ripped me off, in the name of bride price and other marriage rites, then before my parents or siblings go visit me, me their brother they watched and helped as he passed through thick and thin in life; I will have to consult you...you well so?

2. Say NO to involving parents or family in solving marital matters. Instead, see a counsellor, a pastor or a neutral person of authority who believes in marriage if you can't manage a breakthrough as a couple. Parents and family are biased

While this holds true for some people, it does not necessarily mean the absolute. There have been instances that in-laws have stood solidly against their daughter in support of their son-in-law and vice versa, especially if they know deep down that a known undesirable attitude of their son/daughter is the cause of the misunderstanding. For instance a known philanderer son or daughter will not get the support of the parents if the spouse comes to complain about such to them.

However some very irresponsible in-laws will even support the errant son/daughter, claiming that God made many women for a man or that a woman is meant to be chased by many men and therefore the spouse "should not kill the star of their child".

The key here is to know the type of in-laws you have and if they truly love you like their own. Though it has not happened before, but I'm sure in my own case, even if I'm the one at fault, my in-laws will never openly blame me in the presence of their daughter. In fact they will preferably put aside my own faults, point out her own faults and blame her there and then. Although they will later call me behind and tell me the koko about my own faults.

The trick here is that when the son/daughter-in-law sees that he/she has their (in-laws) support in disputes, there is greater likelihood that he/she will stay from hurting the spouse because he/she will not want to disappoint the trust the in-laws have in them. This holds true for reasonable and responsible spouses though, for the crazy ones will still act out their craze no matter what. And that's the point where more critical approaches, like supporting their own for instance, coming from the in-laws may become justified.

and after you two have solved issues, they will remember the wrongs done to their son/daughter and it will affect family relations. Minimise the amount of people involved in your domestic affairs.

You're absolutely correct in this. So I will not subscribe to you inviting neither the parents nor any pastor whatsoever to settle marital disputes.

Even in the ones that I've been privileged to settle, I exercise utmost restraint not to reference it to harm the emotions of either of the warring parties when settling subsequent disputes for 'em. It's a hard task, but I try my best.

In laws will most likely find it harder to exercise such restraints.

The best is for the couple to do it in-house. In fact, from experience, it is good for one not to be an arbitrator sef, because by the time the matter settles, na on top bed the husband and wife go take discuss una matter. Na dat time una go come become the enemy.

1. Say NO to going to bed with unresolved issues. The longer issues pile up the messy things become and the climate in your home worsens.

I do not buy this idea, some issues are better allowed to die naturally ..And sometimes it's better to allow ones temper to calm before discussing solutions...

3. Say NO to using the words "My" in marriage. "My car", "My child", "My house", "My money"... Instead say "Our car", "Our child", "Our house", "Our money" regardless of who contributes the most financially. You two are a team.

Our pant

Faber:
The rules way dey this marriage of a thing dey make it scare some of us...rules of marriage are mostly in favour of the wife ..

Wait o, I was sent to school by my parents, they helped me kick start life, I made it big and built my own house...then I come marry you. Your people almost ripped me off, in the name of bride price and other marriage rites, then before my parents or siblings go visit me, me their brother they watched and helped as he passed through thick and thin in life; I will have to consult you...you well so?

Wait, time shall answer the question .u re still a young man, by the time u get there u ll know why its necessary..

AsomArchitectNG:

.

Rayjnr:
Op is just giving us women rules, as in what women want, you try well well . Continue.
Don't involve anybody is women most loved rule so they can keep exhibiting their worst habit and you swallow it and die for nothing.

Yeye, marriage no be by force o.

You have just hit the nail on the head. The OP should correct the heading and name the the list as list of women wants in marriage.

Cc: AsomArchitectNG

I think I will never settle with No. 10.

By that I mean I can NEVER share thesame Bed with anybody even if we are in thesame room and House not even my wife except, during when we want to make babies. NEVER!
I take a stroll...

jeff1993:
No 3

Most Nigerian women are greedy in nature.... They have been wired to use "Your own is our own ... My own is my own"... If I can find a Nigerian lady who is not greedy with her money and had an average character ... Am all in for marriage!!!!

No 7

That's is if u married a proper home made woman not all this shawarma and pizza slay queens!!!!.... You can't be putting on long nails and want to cook with it for me .... I can manage if she is not super good in the kitchen ....Eating outside would balance the equation!!!!

No 10

Divorce is always a very big and Fat option ..... Please as a Man or woman, ur Pearce of mind is ultimate and Paramount!!!! .... If ur spouse can't give u peace of mind, if he or she can't make u happy, there is no need trying. Divorce him or her. You can still be a great parents to your children without being together .... That's why I advise Men against spending excess money to do an elaborate marriage that is not even necessary..... Na the money the man take marry him dey think na him dey make am hard for am to divorce!!!!!


Lastly truly marriage has no manual .... Each marriage is unique on its own .... Elderly people will say when u want to marry as a man, make sure u have seen enough of life before u marry, not because u have enough money!!! .... Build your tolerance level to a nearly absolute level.....

While I believe divorce is definitely an option. Divorce should never be mentioned carelessly or used trivially.

Work on ur issues until it’s clear and sure they are not resolvable.


Nice thread op. We need a thread on what to look out for b4 u marry that person. A lot of people be marrying the wrong ones these days.

Just say NO to the devil and Say Yes to Christ...

FuckSilly:
Say no to allowing your Nigerian wife keep contact with her ex... If you unfortunately married a WHORĒ, don't joke with this.

Hehehehehe...Ex matters eeh...E no dey end.


Ex has mastered a way to the heart. And actually knows his/her weak spots and fantasies.

One can keep ex for work and business stuffs...But if a partner isn't comfortable with that, just delete anything Ex.

Again, whether ex or not if your woman is not contented, forget it you are in trouble.

Well written and very on point.

Ladyhippolyta88:


This your number 3 needs more emphasis, especially to the so-called heads of the families specifically the average Nigerian man who sees headship as authoritarianism, that don't like to open up to their wives, listen and hear from them because they believe they should be making the decisions alone without due consultation.

Always learn to carry your wives along and you will not die if you adopt her advice or opinion on issues two heads are better than one and you can never know it all.

I know this advice is not gender specific but in the average Nigerian marriages it's men that often do this,while the women always consult them when she is the one making a decision

two good heads are better than one, you cant compare a head that thinks emotionally and that which thinks freely neither can you compare a head that gives and that which always receive...

Ninisun:
For the one of sleeping in different rooms, some couples can't help it Op... women like wears or clothings a whole lot and so sharing the same room won't really be nice if the accomodation is not so large. Most couples still be in love even though they sleep separately. It's not easy to sleep with a partner that snores abeg...that's a suicide mission .

For that of flirt, most men/women flirt on social media and if you start thinking about that...see you see your grave. It's not every issue one needs to think about in marriage cus this economy is frustrating already.
There's how long you will be in marriage, you won't remember your salary is yours jare...as a good wife wey I be, my salary and his are our own unless we want responsibilities to choke us. Our children is our number one priority and so why should we hide our money while they look unkempt?
I don't tolerate people insulting or belittling people I love most especially my husband , just be ready to be thrown out cus you are an intruder.
Marriage is more of being with one eye, one ear, no lips and no brain from both partners and every good thing that comes with it will fall into place. It's not a bed of roses but mine is 90% rose cus he makes me happy always like seriously.

And do you make him happy too, like seriously?

Ladyhippolyta88:


This your number 3 needs more emphasis, especially to the so-called heads of the families specifically the average Nigerian man who sees headship as authoritarianism, that don't like to open up to their wives, listen and hear from them because they believe they should be making the decisions alone without due consultation.

Always learn to carry your wives along and you will not die if you adopt her advice or opinion on issues two heads are better than one and you can never know it all.

I know this advice is not gender specific but in the average Nigerian marriages it's men that often do this,while the women always consult them when she is the one making a decision

you see consultation thing, no matter how transparent your husband or wife is to you..... There are things that they still make decisions on in private but just do your best to be 99% transparent. So it's not a man thing alone, women are guilty to.