Good morning Nl

Please i will like to know the best way to make a spouse that hardly admit/apologize for his wrong doings, to do so without it resulting to arguments.

Thanks

What do you need an apology for?

When it is obvious your husband/bf is wrong, you should move forward with other important things for the day.

What good would an apology bring if not unnecessary drama

If you yourself are not always trying to be too always right, try talk it out with the person.

chatinent:
If you yourself are not always trying to be too always right, try talk it out with the person.

Please what if in the process of trying to talk it out with the person, he refuses to accept,what else will you suggest so arguments will not arise

alphaNomega:
What do you need an apology for?

When it is obvious your husband/bf is wrong, you should move forward with other important things for the day.

What good would an apology bring if not unnecessary drama

Alright

graceama:


Please what if in the process of trying to talk it out with the person, he refuses to accept,what else will you suggest so arguments will not arise

Don't force anyone to change.

Just change the habit of always trying to force them.

chatinent:


Don't force anyone to change.

Just change the habit of always trying to force them.

Alright. Thanks

If you no follow pastor argue you no go tey for church. Just give the 'you're right' mantle when argument is about to occur and move.

graceama:
Good morning Nl

Please i will like to know the best way to make a spouse that hardly admit/apologize for his wrong doings, to do so without it resulting to arguments.

Thanks

Wow.... there really isn't a best way since such a one is likely to continue to refuse even in the face of wisdom.

If you are already married to this person, what I could suggest is you tell the person his wrong in a nice way ' everytime. Text it, if you must so he at least has a log of his hurts against you to go back through. Should you ever need to seek out the help of a marriage counselor in the future, you two will at least have a list to work through.

Kobojunkie:
Wow.... there really isn't a best way since such a one is likely to continue to refuse even in the face of wisdom.

If you are already married to this person, what I could suggest is you tell the person his wrong in a nice way ' everytime. Text it, if you must so he at least has a log of his hurts against you to go back through. Should you ever need to seek out the help of a marriage counselor in the future, you two will at least have a list to work through.

Alright. Thanks

graceama:
Good morning Nl

Please i will like to know the best way to make a spouse that hardly admit/apologize for his wrong doings, to do so without it resulting to arguments.

Thanks

For some people in Nigeria, especially men I think, admitting wrongdoing/apologizing to their spouse is just a no no, their ego won’t let them. They’ll rather you understand that they can’t do it, than actually do it. Some people even think it’s a sign of weakness

I’ll suggest you talk to them about it, make them understand that it matters to you, and that you also understand that it’s a difficult thing for them to say. When they say It, acknowledge it when the tension is down if you can. If they care how you feel, they’ll try… if they care more about their ego, they won’t and you keep pushing gently until one of you gets tired of fighting

Also, don’t expect them to apologize in every single situation, admitting wrongdoing without necessarily apologizing is enough to calm the situation sometimes, especially coming from their rigid perspective

socialmediaman:


For some people in Nigeria, especially men I think, admitting wrongdoing/apologizing to their spouse is just a no no, their ego won’t let them. They’ll rather you understand that they can’t do it, than actually do it. Some people even think it’s a sign of weakness


Also, don’t expect them to apologize in every single situation, admitting wrongdoing without necessarily apologizing is enough to calm the situation sometimes, especially coming from their rigid perspective

It is so annoying. It is either they don’t apologize or they apologize and repeat the same thing the next day. Turn you into a talkative, twist the whole situation, try to emotionally blackmail you and end up the victim. Gosh!

Kobojunkie:
Wow.... there really isn't a best way since such a one is likely to continue to refuse even in the face of wisdom.

If you are already married to this person, what I could suggest is you tell the person his wrong in a nice way ' everytime. Text it, if you must so he at least has a log of his hurts against you to go back through. Should you ever need to seek out the help of a marriage counselor in the future, you two will at least have a list to work through.

This doesn't always work. In short, that is when the whole issue escalates

socialmediaman:


For some people in Nigeria, especially men I think, admitting wrongdoing/apologizing to their spouse is just a no no, their ego won’t let them. They’ll rather you understand that they can’t do it, than actually do it. Some people even think it’s a sign of weakness

I’ll suggest you talk to them about it, make them understand that it matters to you, and that you also understand that it’s a difficult thing for them to say. When they say It, acknowledge it when the tension is down if you can. If they care how you feel, they’ll try… if they care more about their ego, they won’t and you keep pushing gently until one of you gets tired of fighting

Also, don’t expect them to apologize in every single situation, admitting wrongdoing without necessarily apologizing is enough to calm the situation sometimes, especially coming from their rigid perspective

Do this and he calls you a nag.

Ishilove:

Do this and he calls you a nag.

Honestly you know them! When they are talking, it is logic. When you talk, it is nagging. A grown adult would choose to do the wrong thing and expects you to take it calmly.

Hmm

Ishilove:

Do this and he calls you a nag.

Probably, that’s why it’s called marriage. They have a lifetime to figure it out, if they’re lucky to last that long. I see "happy" couples in their 60s and 70s still fighting about how she talks to him and Vice versa

pocohantas:


It is so annoying. It is either they don’t apologize or they apologize and repeat the same thing the next day. Turn you into a talkative, twist the whole situation, try to emotionally blackmail you and end up the victim. Gosh!

As in ehn. Super annoying

Ishilove:
This doesn't always work. In short, that is when the whole issue escalates

My suggestion isn't meant to appease the one with the ginormous ego in the relationship. It is instead meant to help assuage the other partner's guilt. And maybe also serve as a way of collecting vital evidence necessary for making some hard choices in the future.

pocohantas:


Honestly you know them! When they are talking, it is logic. When you talk, it is nagging. A grown adult would choose to do the wrong thing and expects you to take it calmly.

If you want peace, you have to suck it up and it is so annoying.

Kobojunkie:
My suggestion isn't meant to appease the one with the ginormous ego in the relationship. It is instead meant to help assuage the other partner's guilt. And maybe also serve as a way of collecting vital evidence necessary for making some hard choices in the future.

I get your point. However, that is when he will tell you that you complain and nag endlessly and he will use those texts as evidence against you.

Ishilove:

If you want peace, you have to suck it up and it is so annoying.

I am not sucking anything up. His peace isn’t my own peace. I won’t give up my peace because an adult has decided to keep doing the wrong thing.

Ishilove:
I get your point. However, that is when he will tell you that you complain and nag endlessly and he will use those texts as evidence against you.

I think it is inevitable in such a relationship. Bottling up all that hurt without mentioning it at most once might result in serious mental damage, so it is at least a good idea to each each grievance at least once either verbally or by text.

Given that the text would only contain just one entry per wrong committed, it will in fact serve as evidence against the egomaniac in the relationship as instead become a tally of the wrongs for which he/she failed to apologize for during the course of the relationship.

pocohantas:


I am not sucking anything up. His peace isn’t my own peace. I won’t give up my peace because an adult has decided to keep doing the wrong thing.

In marriage, you stoop to conquer.

Na wetin the elders talk

alphaNomega:
What do you need an apology for?

When it is obvious your husband/bf is wrong, you should move forward with other important things for the day.

What good would an apology bring if not unnecessary drama

An apology is very important it shows sincerity and accepting one's mistake.

Every human being should learn to make corrections and apologise when they are wrong.

If I have been wronged by someone I will not move forward and pretend like nothing happened I will let you know your offence and you should be adult enough to accept your mistakes and apologise for them.

socialmediaman:


For some people in Nigeria, especially men I think, admitting wrongdoing/apologizing to their spouse is just a no no, their ego won’t let them. They’ll rather you understand that they can’t do it, than actually do it. Some people even think it’s a sign of weakness

I’ll suggest you talk to them about it, make them understand that it matters to you, and that you also understand that it’s a difficult thing for them to say. When they say It, acknowledge it when the tension is down if you can. If they care how you feel, they’ll try… if they care more about their ego, they won’t and you keep pushing gently until one of you gets tired of fighting

Also, don’t expect them to apologize in every single situation, admitting wrongdoing without necessarily apologizing is enough to calm the situation sometimes, especially coming from their rigid perspective

Thanks very much

graceama:
Good morning Nl

Please i will like to know the best way to make a spouse that hardly admit/apologize for his wrong doings, to do so without it resulting to arguments.

Thanks

Table out your grievance to him if he doesn't know how to admit his wrongs and be corrected it is either you adjust to it or keep pushing on or offend him too and see if he will need an apology.

Sometimes people don't know how to be human until it is done to them too maybe then he will take it serious and learn to apologise.

Why do people find it hard to apologise it is just basic human decency.

pocohantas:


It is so annoying. It is either they don’t apologize or they apologize and repeat the same thing the next day. Turn you into a talkative, twist the whole situation, try to emotionally blackmail you and end up the victim. Gosh!

You perfectly understand the situation. Atimes it makes you to question your sanity

graceama:


You perfectly understand the situation. Atimes it makes you to question your sanity

Don't keep mute. You will snap one day or you will start throwing out negative vibes without knowing it. This may make you transfer the aggression to househelp or somebody you have power over.

If it means nagging, nag.
Make him apologise. Don't start what you won't continue cos time will come when this will create a very big hole in your relationship.

descarado:

Don't keep mute. You will snap one day or you will start throwing out negative vibes without knowing it. This may make you transfer the aggression to househelp or somebody you have power over.

If it means nagging, nag.
Make him apologise. Don't start what you won't continue cos time will come when this will create a very big hole in your relationship.

Spot on.

descarado:

Don't keep mute. You will snap one day or you will start throwing out negative vibes without knowing it. This may make you transfer the aggression to househelp or somebody you have power over.

If it means nagging, nag.
Make him apologise. Don't start what you won't continue cos time will come when this will create a very big hole in your relationship.

Wise words.

graceama:


You perfectly understand the situation. Atimes it makes you to question your sanity

Very manipulative set. I know them well.

Ishilove:

In marriage, you stoop to conquer.

Na wetin the elders talk

No Ishi, not on this one. Trust me it makes you toxic and embittered. The only time a woman stops talking is when she has given up on the man. It is either she is seeking to replace him or she has decided to make him as dormant as he wants to be. So don’t stoop on this one.