Stats: 3,189,801 members, 7,938,386 topics. Date: Tuesday, 03 September 2024 at 02:22 AM |
Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Family / My Marriage Is On The Verge Of Crashing. (42600 Views)
My Family Is At The Verge Of Destruction / My Boyfriend Is On The Verge Of Leaving Me. Help! / My Sister Is On The Verge Of Making The Worst Mistake Of Her Life (2) (3) (4)
(1) (2) (3) ... (10) (11) (12) (13) (14) (15) (16) ... (18) (Reply) (Go Down)
Re: My Marriage Is On The Verge Of Crashing. by BabaIbo: 12:41pm On Jan 21, 2022 |
Ladyhippolyta88: I thought you're one reasonable being but after reading this from you, I don't think there is anything reasonable about you. Since you didn't see any wrong in what she did, I think the OP is in his right by handling his property the way he likes. After all, he is free to do whatever he likes with whatever he buys with his money. The OP is even mild and humane, shey she want to leave abi, it wouldn't even take time before another replace her and the man will send his people to go get back his money(bride price). Had it been she is with some men, all these won't happen because her brain won't allow her take the silly action that gave room to this. Shebi you want to be silly ni? I don't need to reply other trash you typed because they are irrelevant to me. After all these gragra, ladies like you end up being dummies in their various homes. Just pray you don't come across man wey go beat you finish, light him blunt, after that tells you to open sey he wan do or the one that will tell you to open few weeks after childbirth and he won't handle it with care even if it hurts/pains. 2 Likes |
Re: My Marriage Is On The Verge Of Crashing. by Femi8586(m): 12:42pm On Jan 21, 2022 |
All I know be say... If you continue begging like a simp(that you are), it will eventually end in a massive depression, loss of job, or maybe suicide. And if you kill yourself, that woman you can't do without won't hesitate to accept other men's proposals as soon as you're gone. So better borrow yourself sense if you don't have one. |
Re: My Marriage Is On The Verge Of Crashing. by placeofallure(f): 12:46pm On Jan 21, 2022 |
SmellingAnus: I agree with most of you saying he should stop begging her. He did bad but he's apologised. Men have ego and if they can stoop to beg.... Who are we? Even God forgives. I had a scuffle with hubby yesterday afternoon and he said things to me. In the evening, he came begging. He took back his words. It was a moment of anger, which I am responsible for. He then made promises of things he'd do just to appease me. The way he was reeling out promises, I felt pity, I had to let go. This morning alone, he's delivered three out of his promises. What else? My problem here is why would she zip up for 2 months? What has the man done that she found so unforgivable that'll make her to just recline into her shell? Mr. Man, stop begging really. I believe in communication. She should talk to you before this issue degenerated to this level of having to leave the house. Later, when the dust is a bit settled, seek to talk things through with your father-in-law. You might get lucky. Good luck to you man. 4 Likes 1 Share |
Re: My Marriage Is On The Verge Of Crashing. by Ishilove: 12:47pm On Jan 21, 2022 |
Walkee:I hear you. Which is why after listening to the so called advice from the singles, they go to apply it and scatter their marriages in the process. Una doh. Adviser Nowamagbe 1 Like 1 Share |
Re: My Marriage Is On The Verge Of Crashing. by Ishilove: 12:48pm On Jan 21, 2022 |
placeofallure:Which is why I want to believe the OP is not telling us the full story. 1 Like 1 Share |
Re: My Marriage Is On The Verge Of Crashing. by DonBenny77(m): 12:49pm On Jan 21, 2022 |
Ladyhippolyta88:Starve your boyfriend of sex I understand not your husband all of you are crazy, you will monetize sex for your husband too for two months and you expect him to be normal. Na why una no dey last for husband house. Tell me how you won't bang your husband for over a month for no meaningful reason if you are not a selfish lesbobo. Selfish things when you are Hot you will force yourself on your man and it's ok. Rubbish 4 Likes |
Re: My Marriage Is On The Verge Of Crashing. by DonBenny77(m): 12:50pm On Jan 21, 2022 |
BabaIbo:Preach on These type dem no dey last for husband house I don talk my own finish |
Re: My Marriage Is On The Verge Of Crashing. by nigonus: 12:57pm On Jan 21, 2022 |
Hello @Noah9 While acknowledging your error, and what you've tried to correct it, I feel your pain. Question, since her family is aware now, what about your family, are they aware of the incident? I think it's important you let them know so that they don't get the info from 2nd hand sources. As others have said, while she's away, try to focus on other areas of your life, this is easier said than done, I know. You may consider sending her text messages every few days as well, just to keep in touch and check in on your daughter. At the end though, you have to consider how long you can afford her to be in this state without reconciliation. I would consider giving her 6 months to have a change of heart, after which I'd consider options of divorce and moving on 1 Like |
Re: My Marriage Is On The Verge Of Crashing. by ravensckar(m): 12:57pm On Jan 21, 2022 |
Stereotypes:Below is an excerpt from the Nigerian Criminal Code on the subject of discourse. Like I asserted before now, a man cannot rape his lawfully wedded wife; Section 6 of the Criminal Code defines unlawful carnal knowledge as that which takes place otherwise than between husband and wife; and the offence is complete upon penetration. In other words, marital rape is not an offence in Nigeria. A husband cannot rape his wife. It is assumed that the wife gives implied general consent to sexual intercourse with her husband upon entering the marriage contract. This implied consent is revocable either by an order of a court or a separation agreement. In his book, History of the Pleas of the Crown (1736), Sir Matthew Hale wrote, “But the husband cannot be guilty of a rape committed by himself upon his lawful wife, for by their mutual matrimonial consent and contract the wife hath given herself up in this kind unto her husband which she cannot retract.” Secondly, on the correlation between sexual starvation and rape. I'll refer you to the link below for more enlightment. https://www.news18.com/news/buzz/survey-we-asked-people-why-do-men-rape-women-the-answers-are-fascinating-664567.html Although I do have a few other stuff about that as well, but I'm at work hence I don't have the luxury of time. PS- One by one, we will cure most of you dimwi.ts of your congenital & generational ignorance. 3 Likes 1 Share |
Re: My Marriage Is On The Verge Of Crashing. by Ladyhippolyta88(f): 12:58pm On Jan 21, 2022 |
BabaIbo:Point out the lie, do you force anyone to have sex with you without their consent have you not heard of bodily autonomy?it is the truth and you are the one not being reasonable. Since you didn't see any wrong in what she did, I think the OP is in his right by handling his property the way he likesIndeed, anyway she is not his property that his why he will keep suffering for his misdeeds, property my foot she did nothing wrong it is her body and you don't force the person to have sex with you when men do this to their wives their wives don't rape them After all, he is free to do whatever he likes with whatever he buys with his moneyHe didn'buy her and even if women were for sale you shameless men will not be able to afford them. The OP is even mild and humane, shey she want to leave abi, it wouldn't even take time before another replace her and the man will send his people to go get back his money(bride price)Your reasoning is so low the wife's family should throw his small money back at him no amount is too big for them to watch a beast kill their daughter because she did not have sex with him.It only a foolish woman that will settle for such a man like the OP and she will leave as the other one left too. Had it been she is with some men, all these won't happen because her brain won't allow her take the silly action that gave room to this.Abeg keep quiet will the some men foolishly rape her the worst they can do is carry another woman and not be all women dey dey affected or moved by that so it is nothing new. I don't need to reply other trash you typed because they are irrelevant to me. You are the one talking trash that is why I am taking my time to correct you because you are just embarrassing yourself get raped and violated by your wife first and see if you will talking like this being dummies to whom?lol you think I will settle for low class men like you and the OP? I am too enlightened and educated to be a dummy in my own home. I don't need to pray for anything because I didn't end up with a bush rat and beast in form of a man who can be stupid enough to force me into sex, tueh I don't sleep with beast lowlife in the form of men any woman going through that should deal with such a man before leaving the animal and run for her dear life you men think women of today are idiots. 2 Likes |
Re: My Marriage Is On The Verge Of Crashing. by Jephyard(m): 1:00pm On Jan 21, 2022 |
At the Op, Bros there is nothing like marital rape in Nigeria constitution for now u didn't not rape any body no matter, a husband cannot rape his wife if anyone have other view he should bring it forward back with the Nigeria constitution. As long you both are legally married there is no rape case here. For hitting her it totally wrong that's the only case anyone can hold you for so get it. I want to be honest with you please stop begging your wife you have tried already, it now you start planning to save your marriage. She has bear her cards already it time for you to play yours. Your head is needed here now. Since she has involve her parents it time you involve yours too, let them tug it out while you stand your ground for your actions that you have every right to your woman body and if they bring the slap up apologize for that. Tell them that they can't enroll your daughter in a new school reason being it will affect her academics. Coping with new faces ain't easy for a child. Since you guys ain't divorce they can't make such move for you except they have to file for a divorce. Bro stand your ground. If anyone come with pschological trauma tell them same as well that you were psychological imbalance when you hit her cos she denied you pussy. Be strong bro. No be only she get psychological effect you too did, now she has made you to become a beast out of no where |
Re: My Marriage Is On The Verge Of Crashing. by Ladyhippolyta88(f): 1:02pm On Jan 21, 2022 |
DonBenny77: I will not starve anybody of sex, but I very well know that you don't force someone into sex and they are at liberty to starve you of it if they want to because it is their body and not yours. Tell the OP to tell you the reason why his wife locked up for two months because she will not do it without reason. I have never forced myself on a man and no man can force himself on me learn to respect women's bodies. 1 Like |
Re: My Marriage Is On The Verge Of Crashing. by placeofallure(f): 1:03pm On Jan 21, 2022 |
Ishilove: Yes o! That's the bit of the story that's missing. I strongly believe there must be something. A male friend once told me things about his wife, how they've become mere flatmates. The wife too zipped up for about a year running into two. Then I asked him if he did anything, I particularly asked if he cheated, he said no. She denied him sex over the issue of a third party (wife's sister) staying with them, he deemed her a bad influence. Now the man keeps side chicks and is considering remarrying. I pray op's case doesn't get to that. |
Re: My Marriage Is On The Verge Of Crashing. by NoToPile: 1:04pm On Jan 21, 2022 |
KingAzari: The bolded is what a lot of people just don't understand. |
Re: My Marriage Is On The Verge Of Crashing. by IJEYdiamond(f): 1:07pm On Jan 21, 2022 |
I may not understand why these days women dey starved their husbands sex especially when the woman knows she married a Simp or him no sabi or he can't have it outside... Mentally e dey affect man well well ooo Guy.... if ur wife loves you she will come back to you.... but if no eheee.... just go arrange your life oooo... Kai... kongi really na bastard ooo... D sad part is the bleeding aspect... it is well ooo.. I dont even know what to say!!. 1 Like |
Re: My Marriage Is On The Verge Of Crashing. by zomby(m): 1:14pm On Jan 21, 2022 |
Most Nigerian men tend to see nobody else but themselves and what they want. I think folks on this forum should also look at this situation as if his wife is someone's sister (your sister), how would you handle the situation and if you don't kick this dude's @ss, what kind of advise would you give him? That raping part of the scenario doesn't sit well with me... Can you categorize raping someone as a mistake? It is well. 2 Likes |
Re: My Marriage Is On The Verge Of Crashing. by BabaIbo: 1:16pm On Jan 21, 2022 |
DonBenny77: It is funny how they see no wrong in their fellow woman's action but see wrong in the man's action and wants the man that acted upon that root action crucified. That is one problem with some of them, they don't handle issues from the root/source, they focus on that part that pays them. Her type is very manipulative and cunning. PS: Shebi na when their type see men put them for house them go get the choice/option of choosing either to last in husband's house or not. At the bolden, let he who has ears hear. |
Re: My Marriage Is On The Verge Of Crashing. by phenase(m): 1:17pm On Jan 21, 2022 |
![]() 2 Likes |
Re: My Marriage Is On The Verge Of Crashing. by gabicon: 1:23pm On Jan 21, 2022 |
Noah9: Remove every iota of macho from yourself, you might have been a lion before, now you are a kitten. You need to work on yourself, if someone (God forbid) raped your daughter will you welcome them warmly into your home? it is only natural to be cold. Why brag about providing for your family? It is your responsibility you are supposed to do so, that is what it a man does. Dude sorry doesn't fix this problem. you need to understand that she doesn't trust you anymore, a lot of questions will be running through her mind like how many women have you raped? Is my daughter safe with him? what other bad habit has he been hiding? The thought of sex with you will be horrifying to her. So many thoughts. The problem is fixable but as a wound takes time to heal, so will this situation take time to heal. However, sometimes wounds don't heal and get infected, other times an amputation will be required to salvage things it all depends on how you handle the matter. First of all, I will suggest you go for anger/emotional management counseling to fix where rape came from. Secondly, go report yourself to the person your wife and yourself differ in authority to, it might be an older couple, a mentor, a spiritual leader, a senior uncle/aunty to prevail on the parents. Her closest friends must have heard of the situation already, they won't want to talk to you, talk to their husbands and ask for help, let them know you have done the first step, which is getting help. Thirdly, do not abandon your responsibility to her and your daughter, make sure their needs are met. Fourthly, have the perception that you are single at the moment so also is your wife, you are basically trying to woo her. So all the things you will do to catch a babe you have to start doing it again, send her flowers, compose poems, tell her how much she means to you, buy her random gifts, tell her how you are undeserving of her. What you are trying to do is re-establish a line of communication, once you can get her talking to you 30% of your problems are solved. Fifthly, once the line of communication is established, you now have to work on building trust, she is going to snap at you many times, be cold to sex many times, even disrespect you, it is all a price that you will have to pay. But when she begins to trust you, she is going to adore you. Get to work on this process asap, the process is a lengthy one and could take more than a year to fix the basic components. If you require further help try and contact Praise Fowowe on Facebook, he is a professional in dealing with issues like these. I wish you the best. 2 Likes |
Re: My Marriage Is On The Verge Of Crashing. by Misterone: 1:24pm On Jan 21, 2022 |
Noah9:mr. man, you are the problem and you are the cause of all your problem. it is like you are pussy whipped. you have gone to apologise. you have done your part. let them be. leave them alone an focus on yourself. be a man. you want your wife to come back! come back to do what? to continue with her character? this is the time to settle this issue once and for all. she only comes back when both of you understands what it takes to be husband and wife. |
Re: My Marriage Is On The Verge Of Crashing. by NoToPile: 1:27pm On Jan 21, 2022 |
Richy4: Solid points, if he likes he should listen to advises of those who know nothing else to do but shout simp simp up and down and wannabe repillars. There's some good advise there, but I know he won't go with that, he needs some boys to validate his actions or inactions. 1 Like |
Re: My Marriage Is On The Verge Of Crashing. by dannex4adx(m): 1:32pm On Jan 21, 2022 |
Your in laws are not even try to solve the issue. My advice is that since you know your fault. Give her space for like 6months, change your house lock keys, focus on your life. After six months, you can decide on what next. Pray too. Besides, Have you informed your family about the situation? |
Re: My Marriage Is On The Verge Of Crashing. by socialmediaman: 1:33pm On Jan 21, 2022 |
Simran94: Yes she could press charges on the domestic abuse part. The courts will have a lot to consider on the custody issue including the age of the child and what’s in her best interest considering her education, safety, extent of involvement of each parent in the child’s life, physical and mental health status of either parent, extended family support, community etc. |
Re: My Marriage Is On The Verge Of Crashing. by OvertheTop(m): 1:38pm On Jan 21, 2022 |
correctyourself: I don't Think This is New! Sexual Starvation Happens in 9 of every 10 Marriages..... especially to the Man.... (Most Times the Man just Keeps the Suffering Quiet out of Shame..... of Complaining about NOT Having Sex ) Sex is Used as a Tool of Punishment and Manipulation.... |
Re: My Marriage Is On The Verge Of Crashing. by Nobody: 1:38pm On Jan 21, 2022 |
ADAMUdaCOWBOY:I agree with the foolish family statement, imagine nobody in her family is scolding her for denying her husband his conjugal rights and keeping him in the dark for her silly behaviour. This weak man went further to start kneeling up and down in her in-laws family, such an overcooked vegetable man.When I get married and my husband dare acts weak or show any sign of weakness before my family, I will do the unthinkable and teach him a lesson on how to carry himself well and command respect before people, that's how my own dad is.No be me like this husband go take go do yeye with his knees before my family,outsiders or anybody as the case may be. He did not only disrespected himself but his wife as well but in this case his wife is a foolish woman.Very silly and weak op,I can never get wet for this kind of man lol. 2 Likes |
Re: My Marriage Is On The Verge Of Crashing. by LilMissFavvy(f): 1:41pm On Jan 21, 2022 |
Pls be patient and give your wife more time, I believe she will return to her senses and come back. Just try and hold on for the next 3-6months and she will return. |
Re: My Marriage Is On The Verge Of Crashing. by Dailyparrot: 1:44pm On Jan 21, 2022 |
Stereotypes: Wickedness begets wickedness. You are writing this because the poster brought it to the internet and is all acting like an imbe?cile. Some men will not only beat that daughter of a jezebel but will throw her out to her parent's house. It is the parents that should even be begging op now to take back his wife and warn her not to deny her husband sex. Why would she deny him sex without telling him what the problem was? If she was tired of the marriage, a divorce would have been appropriate. It seems she was just waiting for a reason to separate and because op is a simpleton, he allowed time long enough to give her that reason. Inwardly, she's happy with the whole event and the way it played out. Op, your wife's parents were looking at you with disgust for being such a pussy nigga that they gave their daughter out for marriage. Keep begging until you lose your job, enter depression and commit suicide. Then, you will know that a jezebel came into your life to destroy you completely. If your wife were to be my sister or daughter, I will fault her for denying you your conjugal right. I don't take sides in issues like this. She is the root cause of the problem. 1 Like |
Re: My Marriage Is On The Verge Of Crashing. by Exceed15: 1:46pm On Jan 21, 2022 |
Why are you stressing yourself? Do u want to develop HBP on this matter? Now it is taking toll on your means of livelihood. I bet you if you develop heart attack and die I will not pity you. It's a matter of time another man will be banging your wife like tomorrow no dey. Your daughter will be fine and so who looses? Which marriage does not have issue. Couple fight , settle and move on . You admitted your side of wrong and decide to mend your way but her family is frustrating you. Man up and save the little dignity remaining before you turn nuisance to your wife's family and society at large. Guy, MOVE ON.. u no dey hear word? |
Re: My Marriage Is On The Verge Of Crashing. by Breakingnews101: 1:47pm On Jan 21, 2022 |
Iyaebe: This is probably the dumbest comment I've read from you ever! I'm shocked at your logic and disappointed with your analysis. Did you say this for likes? What's wrong with you? What's wrong with you guys on Nairaland? This is not a redpill / blue pill issue... this is a much more serious issue : spousal (physical) abuse that quickly escalated into RAPE! No means no! Married or not...rape is rape! It's reached epidemic proportions in Nigeria. So many girlfriends/wives have been raped and traumatized by their boyfriends/husbands. In the average uninformed Nigerian guy's mind, if a lady comes to visit it means she's interested in sex, no amount of dissuasion will make him not RAPE her on the day. It's so bad a lady that gets raped is even led (erroneously to believe she's the cause of the rape).Sad. I'm a doctor (male) and I've had to treat rape victims during the course of my practice. It's a TRAUMATIC experience that scars the majority of sufferers all through their life...It's real and its unpleasant. The majority of you will not last a month outside the shores of this lawless country. You lot are a bunch of rapists and enablers. You reffered to him as a good man, you met him before? How do you know? He raped you before too? Not everyone is a masochist you know? What if she stopped loving him for whatever reason?? So many 'what ifs' to consider in this story. We haven't heard her side of the story... People fall in and out of love all the time! You can't force someone to love you can you? Last time I checked it's not a crime to stop loving someone? What's your definition of a weak man? A man that acknowledges his wrong and apologises for his wrong? When did apologizing for one's wrongdoing become a sign of weakness? Insecure, insignificant and inconsequential minds everywhere trying desperately to form redpill o! What is your definition of a redpill man/strong man? A man that beats you repeatedly until you bleed, gets aroused and proceeds to rape you? Remember again not everyone is a masochist like you! So don't crucify the poor girl for not having your desires. I'm not for shameless begging and grovelling...If its not productive then its not productive. What's the point in continuing to grovel if the lady has moved on? My points are : 1. He should be AWARE he effed up big time beating and raping his wife. 2. He should be sincerely sorry about this and apologise to his wife ...it's not all about him. Get respected members of both families involved if possible. Seek to understand and then be understood. 3. If he loves his wife, he should give her time to heal she just might come around, just might. 4. If she doesn't come around, he can't force her to...not amount of begging will change anything! P.S This is NOT a redpill/ bluepill matter abeg. 4 Likes |
Re: My Marriage Is On The Verge Of Crashing. by Ishilove: 1:48pm On Jan 21, 2022 |
placeofallure:Some women sef |
Re: My Marriage Is On The Verge Of Crashing. by kingthreat(m): 1:50pm On Jan 21, 2022 |
emmeyen: Lesser men like you will be masturbating regularly after spending millions to get a wife. |
Re: My Marriage Is On The Verge Of Crashing. by Olaideolayemi(m): 1:52pm On Jan 21, 2022 |
BigBashiru:Has how? what type of control? |
(1) (2) (3) ... (10) (11) (12) (13) (14) (15) (16) ... (18) (Reply)
I Am Tired Of My Marriage / Betting Has Landed Me Into N600k Debt! / 5 Family Members Who Died In Road Accident Buried In Akwa Ibom (Photos)
(Go Up)
Sections: politics (1) business autos (1) jobs (1) career education (1) romance computers phones travel sports fashion health religion celebs tv-movies music-radio literature webmasters programming techmarket Links: (1) (2) (3) (4) (5) (6) (7) (8) (9) (10) Nairaland - Copyright © 2005 - 2024 Oluwaseun Osewa. All rights reserved. See How To Advertise. 167 |