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Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Family / Help! My Wife Easily Quarrels And Keeps Malice With Me. (32206 Views)
My Wife And I Are Keeping Malice! / Whenever He Quarrels With His Wife, She Brings Her 3 Brothers To Come Beat Him / I Easily Get Angry And Keep Malice A Lot, Please Help (2) (3) (4)
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Re: Help! My Wife Easily Quarrels And Keeps Malice With Me. by BigBashiru: 1:53pm On Jan 31, 2022 |
Tosman12: One of the wisest responses on this thread... the earlier we start de-emphasizing marriage and promoting real love and fear of God in our society, the better for us all! |
Re: Help! My Wife Easily Quarrels And Keeps Malice With Me. by ATMC(f): 1:55pm On Jan 31, 2022 |
Philip94:I can only imagine how you feel. Did you go through marriage counselling before wedding? It's a lot helpful when you do. Did you know she was like this before wedding? If yes, then you know she won't change easily to become the opposite. Now, here is my imperfect advice. Sit her down and talk about it. Tell her that what she's doing is trauma response and it's unhealthy for her new family. A good marriage thrives on forgiveness, lots of it because humans will always be humans. She has to learn to forgive you whenever you hurt her, though this won't come easy, you have to make it easy for her by not getting angry because she is not acting how you'd want, rather, you keep begging for her forgiveness every time she claims you hurt her. You will end up being the bigger person, moreover, that you begged your spouse for forgiveness doesn't mean you are small, it simply means you love their company and won't replace it with silence. I hope she heals. Soon. Thankfully, it's in the early part of your marriage, so deal with it now you both, so that by the time kids come, she would forgive them and not teach them malice unintentionally. 1 Like |
Re: Help! My Wife Easily Quarrels And Keeps Malice With Me. by richie240: 1:58pm On Jan 31, 2022 |
Nice advise to use for a rational/sane woman, not 'damaged goods'. If these nasty attitudes are her 'follow-come' default setting, (most prolly inherited from her mum), e nor go easy as u putam o. The stress of doing extra work sef go compound her nasty behaviour. My advice would've bn: "dont get married'' but since d deed has already bn done, my only advise be say, "bear am, na ur cross be dt" Those characters were not just being exhibited, they've bn with her since her childhood "E nor easy to teach old dog new trick" ![]() Kobojunkie: |
Re: Help! My Wife Easily Quarrels And Keeps Malice With Me. by easzypeaszy(m): 2:04pm On Jan 31, 2022 |
She may be Pregnant |
Re: Help! My Wife Easily Quarrels And Keeps Malice With Me. by BigBashiru: 2:05pm On Jan 31, 2022 |
richie240: I disagree with "bear am" oh.... the answer is let op find her other husbands and let one of them place him then let him find himself another woman.... but then again ALL WOMEN ARE THE SAME |
Re: Help! My Wife Easily Quarrels And Keeps Malice With Me. by Exceed15: 2:12pm On Jan 31, 2022 |
Calm down bro. It's adjustment period. Be patient with her. |
Re: Help! My Wife Easily Quarrels And Keeps Malice With Me. by Exceed15: 2:14pm On Jan 31, 2022 |
gasparpisciotta: Mehn I dey gbadun this ur comment God bless u bro. |
Re: Help! My Wife Easily Quarrels And Keeps Malice With Me. by richie240: 2:16pm On Jan 31, 2022 |
BigBashiru: Brah, I know why I say 'bear am' o, ehn-ehn! That girl attitude has really gotten nothing to do with what her husband has done. That is her real attitude: getting offended easily, hold grudges, having unforgiving heart' etc. These attitudes (most prolly inherited from her mum) has always bn with her but d guy was then too lovestruck during their courtship to notice. The 3 things that d guy can do: 1. 'Use craze cure craze' by being assertive and authoritative in d house, in other words, 'no look uche face' 2. Divorce 3. bear am like that! Like I said, d nasty attitudes of d wife na 'follow come' and its not something that ordinary talk can cure! ![]() emmykk: |
Re: Help! My Wife Easily Quarrels And Keeps Malice With Me. by nrexzy: 2:20pm On Jan 31, 2022 |
Bola146: I dey ask u naa |
Re: Help! My Wife Easily Quarrels And Keeps Malice With Me. by Bola146(f): 2:22pm On Jan 31, 2022 |
nrexzy: I'm not the wife naa |
Re: Help! My Wife Easily Quarrels And Keeps Malice With Me. by richie240: 2:31pm On Jan 31, 2022 |
No wonder master Jesus refused to marry. Did d guy (any man for that matter) complain dt he wants his brain/life reset......least by a woman? Hian! ![]() Benrosaria: |
Re: Help! My Wife Easily Quarrels And Keeps Malice With Me. by Kayceenaz(m): 2:41pm On Jan 31, 2022 |
moneyissweet:Exactly. Op, your wife doesn't love you. I doubt she did during dating. Most likely, she married you, because you were ready only, love not inclusive. Talk to her about this subject. 1 Like |
Re: Help! My Wife Easily Quarrels And Keeps Malice With Me. by joe120120(m): 2:45pm On Jan 31, 2022 |
Philip94: Holy ghost fire .,not so early , divorce y on the road. U did look proper .may be wife not urs. Now u supposed 2 be in honey moon enjoying . Brother go to church and ask God to take over the matter |
Re: Help! My Wife Easily Quarrels And Keeps Malice With Me. by Kobojunkie: 2:46pm On Jan 31, 2022 |
afamaustin:Does she have a job and life of her own or does her existence revolve around yours? ![]() Do you yourself take care to show her respect as an equal partner in your marriage or do you think her as a doll you can shove anything at and expect and accept it? ![]() |
Re: Help! My Wife Easily Quarrels And Keeps Malice With Me. by Kobojunkie: 2:48pm On Jan 31, 2022 |
afamaustin:That is typically how it is supposed to be but many women are married to men who don't give a real damn about how they really feel in the marriage and so in those cases, it is best the woman has a life of her own so she does not develop into a toxic individual in the name of marriage. ![]() 1 Like |
Re: Help! My Wife Easily Quarrels And Keeps Malice With Me. by nrexzy: 2:48pm On Jan 31, 2022 |
Bola146: Ur her Advocate naa |
Re: Help! My Wife Easily Quarrels And Keeps Malice With Me. by Kobojunkie: 2:50pm On Jan 31, 2022 |
guru03:How about first being man enough to know that when there is a problem in your relationship, and marriage, it is your place too to fight out what part is your fault and do all you can to resolve that in order that peace may reign? ![]() 1 Like |
Re: Help! My Wife Easily Quarrels And Keeps Malice With Me. by Kobojunkie: 2:51pm On Jan 31, 2022 |
yusluvad:Bullsheet! ![]() 1 Like |
Re: Help! My Wife Easily Quarrels And Keeps Malice With Me. by Icepresh(m): 2:55pm On Jan 31, 2022 |
She is probably cheating Or she doesn’t love you Or you forced her Or you are poor |
Re: Help! My Wife Easily Quarrels And Keeps Malice With Me. by Kobojunkie: 2:55pm On Jan 31, 2022 |
Philip94:Have you considered that you may in fact contribute some to her frustrations? My advice is for her to get herself a job and a life so she can get a breather from the annoyances that marriage may bring especially in cases where one has chosen to live with an overly insensitive spouse, but that does not excuse the actions of the spouse in question. ![]() You as her husband need to listen and learn what is is you may do to irritate her and correct them where possible so your wife does not continue to live frustrated in the marriage, resorting to such extreme reactions to the stress. ![]() |
Re: Help! My Wife Easily Quarrels And Keeps Malice With Me. by merits(m): 3:20pm On Jan 31, 2022 |
Philip94:1]stop remain indoor always go out and come back lately. [delibrately] 2]stop eating her food. 3]stop having se.x with her. on her own she will come back to her senses. |
Re: Help! My Wife Easily Quarrels And Keeps Malice With Me. by Bola146(f): 3:27pm On Jan 31, 2022 |
nrexzy: Koburu |
Re: Help! My Wife Easily Quarrels And Keeps Malice With Me. by Kobojunkie: 3:32pm On Jan 31, 2022 |
richie240:Even that which you claim are nasty habits require fuel for sustenance and whe ln even a woman with such habits finds herself in a marriage situation that fuels those habits e.g. marriage to an insensitive and disrespectfuls spouse, the only other solution she can seek is to find herself other things to distract herself from it. That is why I suggest the women, like any man in similar predicament would, find herself other avenues to spend that energy she has on instead. ![]() 1 Like |
Re: Help! My Wife Easily Quarrels And Keeps Malice With Me. by richie240: 3:35pm On Jan 31, 2022 |
Kobojunkie:I hear u brah! Las-las, peace of mind for d man wey nor marry! ![]() |
Re: Help! My Wife Easily Quarrels And Keeps Malice With Me. by Kobojunkie: 3:38pm On Jan 31, 2022 |
richie240:You mean a man who never dates or a man who does? ![]() Anyone in a relationship, be it marriage or not, ought to use it as an opportunity to learn how to interact as a social animal. It is foolishness to see marriage not as you would any other relationship you get yourself info out there. ![]() 1 Like |
Re: Help! My Wife Easily Quarrels And Keeps Malice With Me. by richie240: 3:59pm On Jan 31, 2022 |
Matthew 19:9-12 Pray, brah, thinkest thou Son of man was impotent even at 33+ to remain unmarried? If u want to eat 'meat' go ahead biko as its no sin, but he who abstains from that 'meat' is wiser! ![]() Kobojunkie: |
Re: Help! My Wife Easily Quarrels And Keeps Malice With Me. by Great0ne1: 4:00pm On Jan 31, 2022 |
habsydiamond:So una never no say marriage na like contract. After helping her, she will go back and start been arrogant and ungrateful. Does she also insult her father, after giving her food ? |
Re: Help! My Wife Easily Quarrels And Keeps Malice With Me. by Kobojunkie: 4:01pm On Jan 31, 2022 |
richie240:Again.....You mean a man who never dates or a man who does? ![]() Anyone in a relationship, be it marriage or not, ought to use it as an opportunity to learn how to interact as a social animal. It is foolishness to see marriage not as you would any other relationship you get yourself info out there. ![]() Even Jesus Christ instructed His followers that in every kind of relationship they find themselves in, they ought to do to others as they would like to have done to them. ![]() |
Re: Help! My Wife Easily Quarrels And Keeps Malice With Me. by richie240: 4:10pm On Jan 31, 2022 |
Kobojunkie:Brah, I dey tork about marriage as a whole biko! We claim to be followers of d master but due to d sweetness of d flesh we tend to rationalize d master's commandment! From d Master's response to d diciples' comment in d scripture i just showed u, does it sound as if The Master was pro-marriage? ~~ matt 19 vs 10 and 11~~ Nor be d parzin wey wan marry in d first place dey do courtship? Shuo! Even Jesus Christ instructed His followers that in every kind of relationship they find themselves in, they ought to do to others as they would like to have done to them.We talking marriage here brah, not any other kind of relationship. Abeg nor let us mix sand with salt biko! I'll reiterate: If u want to eat 'meat' go ahead biko as its no sin (just be ready to face d consequences like d op), but he who abstains from that 'meat' is wiser! ![]() |
Re: Help! My Wife Easily Quarrels And Keeps Malice With Me. by anu3: 4:18pm On Jan 31, 2022 |
EnemyofGod22: Friend, thinking of how I can gently talk to you without sounding argumentative or demanding. I don't talk based on common christian views or church: I've stopped going to common organized churches for years now because of the blindness of the LOVE of Money and Popularity have caused for Pastors and their members in general. Now,I seek grace to be different (not perfect yet) . But from experience, the Truth, JESUS is real. Take it from someone that was like you, who hated the truth, almost died at some point, asked for help and got saved back in 2010: my secondary school boarding house Students will tell you a bit about my past life. If any pastor or great man says something I might be tempted to doubt, but not Jesus. I guess you at least believe we all going to die; my prayer is we all wake up soon and allow Jesus in by Repenting of sin and escape the coming dreadful Judgment of God because of sin Peace... |
Re: Help! My Wife Easily Quarrels And Keeps Malice With Me. by lionphil(m): 4:18pm On Jan 31, 2022 |
Philip94: Newly wedded you say? Chai! Na after wedding dem reveal the package to you... didn't you guys court? Oga, na your package be that, just manage am. Congratulations on your wedding sha as you no gree invite us. |
Re: Help! My Wife Easily Quarrels And Keeps Malice With Me. by fredoooooo: 4:37pm On Jan 31, 2022 |
BigBashiru:No need , there's no perfect one. You need a lot patients ad madness fo it to work .. Most of the time it never depends on you , just flow with it ... |
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