Tosman12:
Most Relationship to marriage are like this ...... Most aggressive or aggravated unwarranted attitude like this in an early marriage is caused by REGRETS, UNRESOLVED DOUBT OR HURTS before marriage. find someone who you know she can open up to for counselling session or therapy session preferably a motherly figure.... if not , it will become a culture. Goodluck with your cross.

One of the wisest responses on this thread... the earlier we start de-emphasizing marriage and promoting real love and fear of God in our society, the better for us all!

Philip94:
My newly wedded wife always capitalize on what I did and said wrong eventhough she does and says wrong things to me which I most times overlook.

On many occasions, she will start giving me attitude and will pick up quarrel with me for weeks. I have told her countless times to always address issues she has with me immediately before it turns to a big quarrel.

She wont listen but will rather keep malice with me at any little misunderstanding we have.

Please, how can I find a lasting solution to my wife's unending quarrel, malice and resentment? I am already getting tired of rhe whole thing ��.

I can only imagine how you feel.

Did you go through marriage counselling before wedding? It's a lot helpful when you do.

Did you know she was like this before wedding? If yes, then you know she won't change easily to become the opposite.

Now, here is my imperfect advice.
Sit her down and talk about it.
Tell her that what she's doing is trauma response and it's unhealthy for her new family. A good marriage thrives on forgiveness, lots of it because humans will always be humans. She has to learn to forgive you whenever you hurt her, though this won't come easy, you have to make it easy for her by not getting angry because she is not acting how you'd want, rather, you keep begging for her forgiveness every time she claims you hurt her. You will end up being the bigger person, moreover, that you begged your spouse for forgiveness doesn't mean you are small, it simply means you love their company and won't replace it with silence.

I hope she heals. Soon.

Thankfully, it's in the early part of your marriage, so deal with it now you both, so that by the time kids come, she would forgive them and not teach them malice unintentionally.

Nice advise to use for a rational/sane woman, not 'damaged goods'.
If these nasty attitudes are her 'follow-come' default setting, (most prolly inherited from her mum), e nor go easy as u putam o.

The stress of doing extra work sef go compound her nasty behaviour.

My advice would've bn: "dont get married'' but since d deed has already bn done, my only advise be say, "bear am, na ur cross be dt"

Those characters were not just being exhibited, they've bn with her since her childhood
"E nor easy to teach old dog new trick"

Kobojunkie:
Does she have a job and a life of her own?

If not, you should start suggesting she go get a job so she can apply that extra energy she has nagging on something else, while at the same time contributing her quota of the family finances. Woman, like men, need to have something to do and housework isn't really the best use of her mental energy at all. She too needs to have her mind exercised regularly to keep it in shape and focused on matters that are worthy rather than worthless bickering and arguing.

If she already has a job, then suggest she take up exercise, volunteer work or some other hobby to help her rid herself of that additional energy she spends nitpicking and keeping malice.

She may be Pregnant

richie240:
Nice advise to use for a rational/sane woman, not 'damaged goods'.
If these nasty attitudes are her 'follow-come' default setting, (most prolly inherited from her mum), e nor go easy as u putam o.

The stress of doing extra work sef go compound her nasty behaviour.

My advice would've bn: "dont get married'' but since d deed has already bn done, my only advise be say, "bear am, na ur cross be dt"
"E nor easy to teach old dog new trick"

I disagree with "bear am" oh.... the answer is let op find her other husbands and let one of them place him then let him find himself another woman.... but then again ALL WOMEN ARE THE SAME

Calm down bro. It's adjustment period. Be patient with her.

gasparpisciotta:


Bro present day woman no like man wey dey do sme sme!!!

Shout for her head make you threaten to boycott her and her food for the time being unless she change.

And if she no change become more aggressive towards anything that concerns her!!

What she sow she must reap!!!

Once you see say she don calm down, bring her close and take her out but don’t let that be your only joker.

Change tactics from time to time

Mehn I dey gbadun this ur comment
God bless u bro.

BigBashiru:


I disagree with "bear am" oh.... the answer is let op find her other husbands and let one of them place him then let him find himself another woman.... but then again ALL WOMEN ARE THE SAME

Brah, I know why I say 'bear am' o, ehn-ehn!
That girl attitude has really gotten nothing to do with what her husband has done. That is her real attitude: getting offended easily, hold grudges, having unforgiving heart' etc.

These attitudes (most prolly inherited from her mum) has always bn with her but d guy was then too lovestruck during their courtship to notice.

The 3 things that d guy can do:
1. 'Use craze cure craze' by being assertive and authoritative in d house, in other words, 'no look uche face'
2. Divorce
3. bear am like that!
Like I said, d nasty attitudes of d wife na 'follow come' and its not something that ordinary talk can cure!

emmykk:


That is the way they operate in their family just keep be the one to talk to her.
That is how my wife was doing and I choke her with not getting angry and being the first to talk to her after major quarrel .

She have seen learn to stop keeping malice.


You only keep malice with somebody you don't see always not someone you share room with

Bola146:


Maybe you should ask him

I dey ask u naa

nrexzy:

I dey ask u naa

I'm not the wife naa

No wonder master Jesus refused to marry.
Did d guy (any man for that matter) complain dt he wants his brain/life reset......least by a woman?
Hian!

Benrosaria:
A woman is a reset button for every man

moneyissweet:
She no love you Simple.

No woman will ever keep malice with a man she truly love. Even if they do, it won't last more than 24 hours.

You better treat the fck up now or start looking for another wife bro.

Before you say what do I know. I am a father of 4 with two already in secondary school.

Exactly. Op, your wife doesn't love you. I doubt she did during dating. Most likely, she married you, because you were ready only, love not inclusive. Talk to her about this subject.

Philip94:
My newly wedded wife always capitalize on what I did and said wrong eventhough she does and says wrong things to me which I most times overlook.

On many occasions, she will start giving me attitude and will pick up quarrel with me for weeks. I have told her countless times to always address issues she has with me immediately before it turns to a big quarrel.

She wont listen but will rather keep malice with me at any little misunderstanding we have.

Please, how can I find a lasting solution to my wife's unending quarrel, malice and resentment? I am already getting tired of rhe whole thing ��.

Holy ghost fire .,not so early , divorce y on the road.
U did look proper .may be wife not urs.
Now u supposed 2 be in honey moon enjoying .
Brother go to church and ask God to take over the matter

afamaustin:
The same with my wife

Does she have a job and life of her own or does her existence revolve around yours?

Do you yourself take care to show her respect as an equal partner in your marriage or do you think her as a doll you can shove anything at and expect and accept it?

afamaustin:
Immdietly u noticed she is keeping malice try to find out the issues and sort it out with her

That is typically how it is supposed to be but many women are married to men who don't give a real damn about how they really feel in the marriage and so in those cases, it is best the woman has a life of her own so she does not develop into a toxic individual in the name of marriage.

Bola146:


I'm not the wife naa

Ur her Advocate naa

guru03:
You need to be Man enough to tell her certain things.
crying on this platform will not solve the problems.
Tell her boldly if she is not ready to solve issues maturely, she should be out of your Life right away. by the time you start having children and behaving in such a manner, what will you both be teaching your children.

How about first being man enough to know that when there is a problem in your relationship, and marriage, it is your place too to fight out what part is your fault and do all you can to resolve that in order that peace may reign?

yusluvad:
She's keeping bad friends, and they're having bad influence on her...

Bullsheet!

She is probably cheating
Or she doesn’t love you
Or you forced her
Or you are poor

Philip94:
She's jobless for now.

Have you considered that you may in fact contribute some to her frustrations? My advice is for her to get herself a job and a life so she can get a breather from the annoyances that marriage may bring especially in cases where one has chosen to live with an overly insensitive spouse, but that does not excuse the actions of the spouse in question.

You as her husband need to listen and learn what is is you may do to irritate her and correct them where possible so your wife does not continue to live frustrated in the marriage, resorting to such extreme reactions to the stress.

Philip94:
My newly wedded wife always capitalize on what I did and said wrong eventhough she does and says wrong things to me which I most times overlook.

On many occasions, she will start giving me attitude and will pick up quarrel with me for weeks. I have told her countless times to always address issues she has with me immediately before it turns to a big quarrel.

She wont listen but will rather keep malice with me at any little misunderstanding we have.

Please, how can I find a lasting solution to my wife's unending quarrel, malice and resentment? I am already getting tired of rhe whole thing ��.

1]stop remain indoor always go out and come back lately. [delibrately]
2]stop eating her food.
3]stop having se.x with her.
on her own she will come back to her senses.

nrexzy:


Ur her Advocate naa

Koburu

richie240:
Nice advise to use for a rational/sane woman, not 'damaged goods'.
If these nasty attitudes are her 'follow-come' default setting, (most prolly inherited from her mum), e nor go easy as u putam o.

The stress of doing extra work sef go compound her nasty behaviour.

My advice would've bn: "dont get married'' but since d deed has already bn done, my only advise be say, "bear am, na ur cross be dt"

Those characters were not just being exhibited, they've bn with her since her childhood
[i]"E nor easy to teach old dog new trick"[/i]

Even that which you claim are nasty habits require fuel for sustenance and whe ln even a woman with such habits finds herself in a marriage situation that fuels those habits e.g. marriage to an insensitive and disrespectfuls spouse, the only other solution she can seek is to find herself other things to distract herself from it. That is why I suggest the women, like any man in similar predicament would, find herself other avenues to spend that energy she has on instead.

Kobojunkie:
Even that which you claim are nasty habits require fuel for sustenance and whe ln even a woman with such habits finds herself in a marriage situation that fuels those habits e.g. marriage to an insensitive and disrespectfuls spouse, the only other solution she can seek is to find herself other things to distract herself from it. That is why I suggest the women, like any man in similar predicament would, find herself other avenues to spend that energy she has on instead.

I hear u brah!
Las-las, peace of mind for d man wey nor marry!

richie240:

I hear u brah!
Las-las, peace of mind for d man wey nor marry!

You mean a man who never dates or a man who does?

Anyone in a relationship, be it marriage or not, ought to use it as an opportunity to learn how to interact as a social animal. It is foolishness to see marriage not as you would any other relationship you get yourself info out there.

Matthew 19:9-12
"And I (Jesus Christ) say unto you, Whosoever shall put away his wife, except it be for fornication, and shall marry another, committeth adultery: and whoso marrieth her which is put away doth commit adultery."

[Vs 10] His disciples say unto him, "if the case of the man be so with his wife, it is not good to marry.

[Vs 11] But he (Jesus) said unto them, [i]"All men cannot receive this saying, save they to whom it is given."

[Vz 12] "For there are some eunuchs, which were so born from their mother's womb: and there are some eunuchs, which were made eunuchs of men: and there be eunuchs, which have made themselves eunuchs for the kingdom of heaven's sake. He that is able to receive it, let him receive it"

Pray, brah, thinkest thou Son of man was impotent even at 33+ to remain unmarried?

If u want to eat 'meat' go ahead biko as its no sin, but he who abstains from that 'meat' is wiser!

Kobojunkie:
You mean a man who never dates or a man who does?

Anyone in a relationship, be it marriage or not, ought to use it as an opportunity to learn how to interact as a social animal. It is foolishness to see marriage not as you would any other relationship you get yourself info out there.

habsydiamond:
there are many thing one can do aside white collar jobs oo... There are various trades she can put in for, being jobless bring out evil from humans. If he can assist by making her to learn how to trade one business or the other and opening of shop for her after.

So una never no say marriage na like contract. After helping her, she will go back and start been arrogant and ungrateful. Does she also insult her father, after giving her food ?

richie240:
Pray, brah, thinkest thou Son of man was impotent even at 33+ to remain unmarried?

If u want to eat 'meat' go ahead as its no sin, but he who abstains from that 'meat' is wiser!

Again.....You mean a man who never dates or a man who does?

Anyone in a relationship, be it marriage or not, ought to use it as an opportunity to learn how to interact as a social animal. It is foolishness to see marriage not as you would any other relationship you get yourself info out there.

Even Jesus Christ instructed His followers that in every kind of relationship they find themselves in, they ought to do to others as they would like to have done to them.

Kobojunkie:
Again.....You mean a man who never dates or a man who does?

Anyone in a relationship, be it marriage or not, ought to use it as an opportunity to learn how to interact as a social animal. It is foolishness to see marriage not as you would any other relationship you get yourself info out there.

Brah, I dey tork about marriage as a whole biko!
We claim to be followers of d master but due to d sweetness of d flesh we tend to rationalize d master's commandment!

From d Master's response to d diciples' comment in d scripture i just showed u, does it sound as if The Master was pro-marriage? ~~ matt 19 vs 10 and 11~~
Nor be d parzin wey wan marry in d first place dey do courtship?
Shuo!

Even Jesus Christ instructed His followers that in every kind of relationship they find themselves in, they ought to do to others as they would like to have done to them.

We talking marriage here brah, not any other kind of relationship.
Abeg nor let us mix sand with salt biko!

I'll reiterate:
If u want to eat 'meat' go ahead biko as its no sin (just be ready to face d consequences like d op), but he who abstains from that 'meat' is wiser!

EnemyofGod22:
.

Op, what you need now is money.you need more money.i can bet my left ball that if you have enough money you won't see all this problem......

I will continue preaching to the Brainwashed gullible religious faithfools until their eyes open,

Jesus Christ, Angels, demons, Allah, Satan and God doesn't exist, there's no reliable verifiable potable concrete approved evidence of their existence.

Heaven and hellfire doesn't exist, no evidence.

Know this and have peace of mind.

Friend, thinking of how I can gently talk to you without sounding argumentative or demanding.

I don't talk based on common christian views or church: I've stopped going to common organized churches for years now because of the blindness of the LOVE of Money and Popularity have caused for Pastors and their members in general.

Now,I seek grace to be different (not perfect yet) . But from experience, the Truth, JESUS is real. Take it from someone that was like you, who hated the truth, almost died at some point, asked for help and got saved back in 2010: my secondary school boarding house Students will tell you a bit about my past life.

If any pastor or great man says something I might be tempted to doubt, but not Jesus.

I guess you at least believe we all going to die; my prayer is we all wake up soon and allow Jesus in by Repenting of sin and escape the coming dreadful Judgment of God because of sin

Peace...

Philip94:
My newly wedded wife always capitalize on what I did and said wrong eventhough she does and says wrong things to me which I most times overlook.

On many occasions, she will start giving me attitude and will pick up quarrel with me for weeks. I have told her countless times to always address issues she has with me immediately before it turns to a big quarrel.

She wont listen but will rather keep malice with me at any little misunderstanding we have.

Please, how can I find a lasting solution to my wife's unending quarrel, malice and resentment? I am already getting tired of rhe whole thing ��.

Newly wedded you say? Chai! Na after wedding dem reveal the package to you... didn't you guys court? Oga, na your package be that, just manage am. Congratulations on your wedding sha as you no gree invite us.

BigBashiru:


im afraid of marriage oh!

No need , there's no perfect one. You need a lot patients ad madness fo it to work .. Most of the time it never depends on you , just flow with it ...