I got married last year and I found out just a week after our wedding that thru out the time my fiancée and I were dating she was constantly cheating on me with a married man and all of this continued until few months before our wedding.

We started dating since when we were in Uni but she was a junior colleague in school so I left her in school in 2016 and according to her, she and this man started seeing each other in 2017 till few months to our introduction.

I first found out about the man in 2018 when I strtd working in Lagos and at that time she was done with school preparing for NYSC so she was also in Lagos. I accidentally came across her chat with the guy on her phone during one of her visits to my place in Lagos.
I was very upset with her she apologized and claimed there was nothing btw both of them that it was just a flirtous chat and she was sorry tho deep inside of me I was not convinced but I honestly forgave her and we continued like nothing happened.
She was lucky to do her NYSC in Lagos so I felt since we were back in the same environment, we were fine not knowing I was wrong.
2019 election time, she was going for INEC adhoc staff work so she branched at my house before leaving and a call came in on her fone and it was this same man again. I was very mad with her that she was still keeping contact with the man and she said it wasn’t a frequent contacting that he only calls once in awhile to check up on her. I foolishly believed her again and I let it slide with the promise that there was never going to be any form of contact between them again not knowing she became more careful with their dealings.

Feb 2020 during one of our late night calls I perceived she wasn’t in her house even tho she wanted to hurriedly end the call with the claim that she was feeling sleepy but I told her to hang-on on the call then told her to send picture of where she was and that was where I found out she was in an hotel that night. I honestly wanted to run mad.
First thing the following morning she was in my house all teary, begging and she was remorseful. Foolish me again thought she was truly remorseful. I honestly wanted to call it quit at that time but I didn’t just know what was wrong with me. I forgave her sat her down and we had heart to heart talk and I even told her about the risk involved cos if anything had happened to her whilst she was lodged in the hotel with this man, he would ve quietly left and would ve gone back to his abode and trust me I would ve been the first person any of her family members would ve called or thought she was with. Foolish me again thought it was truly going to end there.
A week after our wedding I received a pop up notification from Linkedin that someone checked my profile and it was this man. I was very upset cos the man’s name alone makes me sick and it reminds me of all this past that I had buried.

I became furious about that and I really wanted to know what could ve given this man the audacity so I started digging my wife’s phone (trust me she was very smart with it cos she deleted all of their chats but I was later able to get some of these infos from blocked msgs to backup folders and many more) and I saw what my eyes wasn’t meant to see.
I saw that she and this guy had always been in constant communications with each other shared pictures with each other inclusive of explicit pictures. There was neva a time they stopped communicating even when she was in my house during the lockdown in 2020 and this was just few weeks after the hotel saga. I also found out that just a month after the hotel saga (March 2020) she and this man still lodged again even tho she had lied at first that the one I had initially found out was the only time it eva happened.

Since I discovered all of this, I ve been completely mad with myself for bringing myself into this mess, I ve been having serious sleepless night, less productive at work. I ve completely been a shadow of myself. The sad part about all of this is I can’t discuss this with anybody so that alone is making me run mad.
One of the reasons I’m angry is I can’t fathom the reason she keeps going back to this man cos I honestly know it wasn’t for money cos she is financially stable likewise myself and if it’s about looks this stupid man doesn’t come close to me. The question I keep asking her is WHY and which she has not been able to provide an answer to this question and I ve honestly been loyal and very open to her which she is very much aware of that.

I’m sure many people would say I should call it quit but it is quite difficult for me cos she is pregnant tho with claim that I am responsible for it which I still ve my doubts. I was brought up in a proper family settings and I enjoyed love from both my mother and father before his demise. I ve seen the dangers of raising a child by separated parents. The child bears most of the brunt and which I don’t want it to happen if truly the child is mine.
A part of me also want to call it quit cos of the utter disrespect, disloyalty, and the question of won’t this happen again and would I be able to cope with this.

She on the other hand has been teary, showing remorse for her actions but I don’t even know if she is sincere or not and if I forgive her again she truly won’t go back to this kind of act.

I contacted the stupid man and the idiot wanted to be wyning me telling me my wife was just a very good friend of his and nothing more, she respects me a lot, she loves me so much blablabla. I told him baba abeg stop capping nonsense and stop the foolery.
This fool is a professional con man married to a beautiful Medical Doctor with two kids that I know of- tho my wife claims he told her he doesn’t ve children (the weyrey even dey deny in children). I just pity his wife cos this community dick she is married to would one day bring home something that would kill them (STIs amongst other) .

I had neva seen myself writing out my family issues on SM but Omo this one too heavy for my Heart and since I can't discuss it with anybody make I just pour am out here cos it is just too heavy

Mod pls do not move to FP. it is just for ranting sake

Another tales by moonlight.....Created a new account today for this fiction, helping you to sharpen your writing skills.

This one you are almost running mad at every slightest provocation from your wife, please make sure you don’t eventually run mad when the child you’re expecting might not be yours.

Abeg I no fit laugh

@op, sorry about all your pain. Give her another chance. Tell her you've forgiven her and let her promise you she would never do that again. Then, watch her closely. If she start communication back with that man, then reconnect back to your ex girlfriends and admirers and let her see how happy you become when you're on phone with them. Trust me, she will try to win you back.

May God heal every broken heart

I wonder the kind of "adult kids" roaming the earth nowadays. They are more or less like a zombie, Who doesn't know how to think.....Despite the crystal depiction of red flags; different traces of being a slut while you guys were dating with high probability of becoming a community toilet after marriage. You still went ahead with the relationship. You turn yourself to Jesus, the all forgiving. I couldn't even count the number of time you got angry with her and at the same time forgave her.

The number one truth here is that, she is Cunning and dubious, who knows how to prey on your emotions. She knows that you are weak.

The second truth here is that, You don't even know what you want for yourself...

You better decide fast on what to do now. Since she's only pregnant with only a kid, that's if the kid is even yours.

Moreover, I Know guys Who were raised under single parenting and they are doing well both for themselves and their societies. It all depends on each party involved(if that's your fear).....

Call is quite and she cannot change

You are a one in a million man sha....you kept forgiving her cheating...so noble of you. Let me help you put this in better perspective...


Your madam is in love with the married man and it's not gonna stop anytime soon. The guy is probably a sweet person that knows how to love,touch,kiss, cuddle and talk to her. Money, looks or even availability cant beat that....you cant beat that. You were just her insurance....available, innocent and true you .She has you in a good corner and she will always be remorseful when she apologies just before she gets back in the sack with him...vicious circle. I sympathise with you fa....its going to be a long ride.

And should you succeed in ruining that relationship for her....she would spend the better part of your marriage looking for a replacement. So sorry fa....so very sorry. When they said side paroles are the sustainers of marriages, you thought they were lying, right? It is well.

How did you manage to contact a man your fiancée was cheating on you with? That alone can erode a man's self worth and dignity. Your fiancée, now wife, is solely responsible for whatever you're going through. That man owes you absolutely nothing and whether he's a community d*ck or not is not your business. He owes his wife respect and faithfulness not you.

I understand the pain especially as the guy is someone you know very well. By forcing your wife to give you answers to questions about him won't do you any good. It's not going to make you heal faster. It will rather make you see him as a competitor. That is the last thing you need right now.

Focus on healing the right way by putting the past behind if truly you want to keep your marriage.

I hope you will not go crazy for real this time if you find out after ten years that your kids belongs to this man.

In Tems words; crazy tinz are happening!

You are wondering what could be the reason your fiancee/wife cheated on you in the past, there are 3 likely reasons why she was tied to the married man. It could have been for financial gains, Sexual reasons (maybe the married man is very good in za oda room ) or lastly, she was genuinely in love with him.

Forget the fact that she was financially independent, some people are naturally greedy, despite what they have, they still want more. Maybe the married man was a financial pillar.

Tell her you are giving her the last chance, and you will not condone any of such behaviors again, forgive her, hopefully she will stop it.

Your wife knows your mumu button, just like PS pad she go play you tire. Madness has not been able to solve anything but purposeful action. You lost the game even before it started. Bro, you lost this one, don't try to salvage it. You may win the next game if you approach it with a different mental attitude.

Saved space for comments on replies

You see why we Keep talking about simping?

You should have deleted her number the very moment you got to know. As a man, your negative instincts about women are 100% correct. Don't doubt. Even if the proof says otherwise, don't doubt.

As it stands your life don cast bro. Just divorce her. That could put you back on track. You can never trust that girl no matter how hard you try.

I don't think that pregnancy is yours sha.

The simple truth is that if you continue with that marriage, you'll be doomed forever.
Mark my words.

report the man to his wife, you can't be the only one that will be having sleepless night. And as for you, you are already going through alot, if not you go hear word from me.

Hightower2022:
I got married last year and I found out just a week after our wedding that thru out the time my fiancée and I were dating she was constantly cheating on me with a married man and all of this continued until few months before our wedding.

We started dating since when we were in Uni but she was a junior colleague in school so I left her in school in 2016 and according to her, she and this man started seeing each other in 2017 till few months to our introduction.

I first found out about the man in 2018 when I strtd working in Lagos and at that time she was done with school preparing for NYSC so she was also in Lagos. I accidentally came across her chat with the guy on her phone during one of her visits to my place in Lagos.
I was very upset with her she apologized and claimed there was nothing btw both of them that it was just a flirtous chat and she was sorry tho deep inside of me I was not convinced but I honestly forgave her and we continued like nothing happened.
She was lucky to do her NYSC in Lagos so I felt since we were back in the same environment, we were fine not knowing I was wrong.
2019 election time, she was going for INEC adhoc staff work so she branched at my house before leaving and a call came in on her fone and it was this same man again. I was very mad with her that she was still keeping contact with the man and she said it wasn’t a frequent contacting that he only calls once in awhile to check up on her. I foolishly believed her again and I let it slide with the promise that there was never going to be any form of contact between them again not knowing she became more careful with their dealings.

Feb 2020 during one of our late night calls I perceived she wasn’t in her house even tho she wanted to hurriedly end the call with the claim that she was feeling sleepy but I told her to hang-on on the call then told her to send picture of where she was and that was where I found out she was in an hotel that night. I honestly wanted to run mad.
First thing the following morning she was in my house all teary, begging and she was remorseful. Foolish me again thought she was truly remorseful. I honestly wanted to call it quit at that time but I didn’t just know what was wrong with me. I forgave her sat her down and we had heart to heart talk and I even told her about the risk involved cos if anything had happened to her whilst she was lodged in the hotel with this man, he would ve quietly left and would ve gone back to his abode and trust me I would ve been the first person any of her family members would ve called or thought she was with. Foolish me again thought it was truly going to end there.
A week after our wedding I received a pop up notification from Linkedin that someone checked my profile and it was this man. I was very upset cos the man’s name alone makes me sick and it reminds me of all this past that I had buried.

I became furious about that and I really wanted to know what could ve given this man the audacity so I started digging my wife’s phone (trust me she was very smart with it cos she deleted all of their chats but I was later able to get some of these infos from blocked msgs to backup folders and many more) and I saw what my eyes wasn’t meant to see.
I saw that she and this guy had always been in constant communications with each other shared pictures with each other inclusive of explicit pictures. There was neva a time they stopped communicating even when she was in my house during the lockdown in 2020 and this was just few weeks after the hotel saga. I also found out that just a month after the hotel saga (March 2020) she and this man still lodged again even tho she had lied at first that the one I had initially found out was the only time it eva happened.

Since I discovered all of this, I ve been completely mad with myself for bringing myself into this mess, I ve been having serious sleepless night, less productive at work. I ve completely been a shadow of myself. The sad part about all of this is I can’t discuss this with anybody so that alone is making me run mad.
One of the reasons I’m angry is I can’t fathom the reason she keeps going back to this man cos I honestly know it wasn’t for money cos she is financially stable likewise myself and if it’s about looks this stupid man doesn’t come close to me. The question I keep asking her is WHY and which she has not been able to provide an answer to this question and I ve honestly been loyal and very open to her which she is very much aware of that.

I’m sure many people would say I should call it quit but it is quite difficult for me cos she is pregnant tho with claim that I am responsible for it which I still ve my doubts. I was brought up in a proper family settings and I enjoyed love from both my mother and father before his demise. I ve seen the dangers of raising a child by separated parents. The child bears most of the brunt and which I don’t want it to happen if truly the child is mine.
A part of me also want to call it quit cos of the utter disrespect, disloyalty, and the question of won’t this happen again and would I be able to cope with this.

She on the other hand has been teary, showing remorse for her actions but I don’t even know if she is sincere or not and if I forgive her again she truly won’t go back to this kind of act.

I contacted the stupid man and the idiot wanted to be wyning me telling me my wife was just a very good friend of his and nothing more, she respects me a lot, she loves me so much blablabla. I told him baba abeg stop capping nonsense and stop the foolery.
This fool is a professional con man married to a beautiful Medical Doctor with two kids that I know of- tho my wife claims he told her he doesn’t ve children (the weyrey even dey deny in children). I just pity his wife cos this community dick she is married to would one day bring home something that would kill them (STIs amongst other) .

I had neva seen myself writing out my family issues on SM but Omo this one too heavy for my Heart and since I can't discuss it with anybody make I just pour am out here cos it is just too heavy

Mod pls do not move to FP. it is just for ranting sake

Abeg carry your cross. You saw all the redflags and still went ahead with the marriage.

oh wow

Go insane it'll be better for everyone

Forgive her again for the last time because of the pregnancy and when she give birth, go for DNA test secretly and if the baby is not yours, let her pack her things.

If all you put up there is the truth, then you are in for a loooong thing You are such a SIMPle man. I don't know what in the hell is giving you the assurance that your woman won't repeat her cheating stunt, A cheat will always be a cheat, if not with that same man, she'd definitely cheat on you with someone else someday, let that biaatch go, I repeat, Let the biiitch go!!!

Story time. Who can summarize?

Another "Seun must not starve" story.

Do you all think we are moròns?

Fear catch me!! Your wife na real player! Will she ever truly change?? Nobody knows!
That Thing way de your MIND! DO AM! WE GO SUPPORT YOU FROM HERE!

This woman can't change.

If u like forgive her entire village she can't change. Time will tell and u will say I told u.

I once had such a girl friend who jumped from one man to another and almost pinned a pregnancy on me may because I was calm and cool.

In fact,till today,she is married and jumping from one to another.
If u are expecting her to change,then u need to follow her to everywhere she goes which is impossible.

If na me,I am done with such marriage whether pregnant or not.

Lastly,be careful not to be poisoned or get killed. Many men have died as a result of such lifestyles.

.

Oh! My oh! My


Nigga, they were signs, very obvious signs that she won't be loyal to you but you blatantly refused to discontinue the relationship and have your sanity back. You went ahead to wife her, maybe thinking she would change.

so... what do you want now? pity party?

i dont pity you guys any longer because you chose to go for the kind of women that treat you that way with your two eyes open to all the red flags. So, bear the brunt of your actions quietly.

By the way, your post is so long.i couldnt finish it. Though i got the message halfway into it.

carry your cross.

Some of the females above me are saying "forgive her", "give her one last chance", as if they would do so if they were in the man's shoes or if the case were reversed ...

Some of them are blaming the man for his choice of woman (which I agree), but no female up there is expressly frowning at the lady's "cheating behavior" ...

Talk about hypocrisy ...

@OP

I still cannot understand why a person would forgive and accept a cheating partner ...

You saw the signs yet you didn't dump her...
Now there's a child involved and you're wondering whether or not the child is your own, wawu!!

Please eh...
For the sake of your sanity...
I would strongly advice you dump that woman...
An insane man cannot raise a sane child...
Staying with that woman will make you mad...

The issue here is that there was a pattern you chose never to learn from. In all you do, put the child's interest first. I hope she can truly turn a new leaf and be faithful to you.

Nawa ooo

Since she never turned a new leaf from previous attempts, she might never turn a new leaf now. It's just the truth, so sorry.

Do a DNA for that child when he/ she's born.

It is well oo.