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Update On My Husband Leaving Us - Family (3) - Nairaland

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Re: Update On My Husband Leaving Us by Nobody: 7:33pm On Feb 10, 2022
Black man head is buried in sh1t. You can't start thinking of understanding them cause that would mean burying yourself in sh1t as well.

All the things you are doing now should have been done before you married that fowl. Now wey you don see how Afrizoo marriage be, your eye don clear.

Stop calling that ash@wo that is already imagining opening leg for the fowl. Minister kor. Stop calling the fowl as well except where the kids are concerned.

I saw one mumu comment saying you should do all the things you are doing now to win him back. I laugh. My dear, do those things to better yourself and not because of afrizoo male.

10 Likes

Re: Update On My Husband Leaving Us by TheWolfen(m): 7:37pm On Feb 10, 2022
Sorry to hear
Re: Update On My Husband Leaving Us by JONNYSPUTE(m): 7:38pm On Feb 10, 2022
....The man just got his freedom. grin

6 Likes 2 Shares

Re: Update On My Husband Leaving Us by franchasng: 7:38pm On Feb 10, 2022
Dear single and married ladies, any man that tells you not to work or to stop working to focus on caring for his children does not love you, he is a terrible man who enjoys being misogynistic to feel like a man in charge.


Ask yourself, the wife of world Presidents work as First Lady, they have office and staffs, they go to work and earn income, some have side businesses and investments, so who the hell is your husband, is he richer than the President?


Ladies please borrow sense.


The reason why divorce scare Nigerian women is because of financial handicap, so as a single lady, empower yourself with a business, craft, handwork or a job and learn to save. As a married lady dont quit your job, you can hire domestic staffs or enroll your baby at a good creche.



I hate to hear that a married lady is jobless, idle and sitting at home daily in the name of caring for her children, what nonsense is that?


If your husband is too rich and don't want you to work under any man, let him open a befitting business for you based on your skill, passion and interest. Dont even accept that nonsense that he will be paying you monthly salary so you wont work, don't accept it, open a business instead and be active so your brain will be active and productive

21 Likes 2 Shares

Re: Update On My Husband Leaving Us by BabaCommander: 7:40pm On Feb 10, 2022
Amazingbaby:
I called my husband and actually blasted him calling him a very big liar and how embarrassed I am.on Monday I left for the hospital he called and we discussed some business and the kids(I was actually not angry again knowing that he is no different from any other guy,if you see how he use to condemn cheating ehh....) Only for my mum to call me around 12 in the afternoon to ask me questions,my husband actually called my mum after I confronted him about what the girl said to tell her he is DONE with me,that I don't give him peace in the house that this and that.in summary calling the girl actually triggered divorce because I am ready for anything.

For those that are doubting that I am a woman,abeg I am.

I followed some lovely people advice and I have actually achieved alot of things this week

1i paid for driving lessons (he literally have to drive me everywhere or I take Uber)
2 I have dusted out my certificate and is seriously looking for jobs(I have contacted alot of outsourcing firms)
3 signed up for gym classes.

In a way I lost myself trying to be a good wife and mother that I literally drove away alot of my friends.i had to stop talking with a good olfriend of mine because my husband was chatting with her behind my back for long (this is one of the reasons I don't trust him)

Lots of information...

So what and what should I do to upgrade myself I have not work for a long time.

Cococandy
Double0h7
Mariangle
Saintmary


Calling your mum shows you have got him where it hurts most, and I'm happy about that.

You have done admirably well, and if you stick with this mindset you have now, he will come begging in no time.

He called your mum because he is panicking. He knows he is about to lose a good woman, so his threat is a mere grandstanding.

Sister stict to your guns. Don't get angry or bitter...
You will come out a winner.

8 Likes

Re: Update On My Husband Leaving Us by SIRTee15: 7:41pm On Feb 10, 2022
Amazingbaby:
I called my husband and actually blasted him calling him a very big liar and how embarrassed I am.on Monday I left for the hospital he called and we discussed some business and the kids(I was actually not angry again knowing that he is no different from any other guy,if you see how he use to condemn cheating ehh....) Only for my mum to call me around 12 in the afternoon to ask me questions,my husband actually called my mum after I confronted him about what the girl said to tell her he is DONE with me,that I don't give him peace in the house that this and that.in summary calling the girl actually triggered divorce because I am ready for anything.

For those that are doubting that I am a woman,abeg I am.

I followed some lovely people advice and I have actually achieved alot of things this week

1i paid for driving lessons (he literally have to drive me everywhere or I take Uber)
2 I have dusted out my certificate and is seriously looking for jobs(I have contacted alot of outsourcing firms)
3 signed up for gym classes.

In a way I lost myself trying to be a good wife and mother that I literally drove away alot of my friends.i had to stop talking with a good olfriend of mine because my husband was chatting with her behind my back for long (this is one of the reasons I don't trust him)

Lots of information...

So what and what should I do to upgrade myself I have not work for a long time.

Cococandy
Double0h7
Mariangle
Saintmary



I seriously doubt he wants a divorce, he just wants his bruised ego restored and also wants to finally fix your problem- 'put u in your place'. The question is what do u want to do about it?
If u guys are abroad, I will say make u do small shakara. But naija....


Madam just beg him. If it means kneeling on your two knees, just do it- he's your husband. If not for anything, for the sake of the kids. At least uve made your point- u are not a fool.

Single motherhood is not a joke especially in conservative and 3rd world nations like Nigeria. U go old way pass your age. Remember no court can hold him down to do anything for u or your kids.
Most single mothers I know eventually travel abroad for the sake of their sanity.

5 Likes 1 Share

Re: Update On My Husband Leaving Us by ospreywin(m): 7:44pm On Feb 10, 2022
..... And there's a simple solution to your problem ooo if only you will take it as the real and only solution. From your grievance and explanation, I can deduce your man still wants the marriage and I bet you also wouldn't want to lose it, by the time you start that nonsense 'independent woman' you want to be forming, you will realize it's a loss eventually. Back to your solution, invite him over some day, don't ask him about what happened between him and the other lady, go on your knees and beg him, well, it will hurt your ego but it's worth it. Forget about how hurt you are or how dumb you feel, you can't have a perfect life, accept that as the challenge God is throwing at you. Though you can live without him, no doubt, don't listen to these people giving you advice to leave him bla bla bla, this is a faceless forum, you don't know who is who, those telling you to leave him might even be enduring X100 of what you are going through but they will want to have a counterpart in a failed marriage. I don't know you and you don't know me but I'm 100% sure your marriage is going to work if you want it and believe me, after you're done begging and he comes to his senses, you will have a sweet experience you've never had before. Trust me

21 Likes 1 Share

Re: Update On My Husband Leaving Us by SoapQueen(f): 7:45pm On Feb 10, 2022
Amazingbaby:


Are you for real? What do you want me to say, should I have lied that he is home when he is not? Abandon his family? I never said anything like that Am I dealing with an insane person on nairaland?
I hate pity that is why I warned my mum never to tell my siblings or anyone,why then would I need nairalnds pity?

Biko I need practical opinion on how to move forward.avoid me.

Madam, the first issue here is that you're too emotional and quite impulsive. I know this because you remind me of myself. But thankfully, I've worked on myself and now I know that any decision I make, I make it t with my full chest.

I remember telling you to give him space and Focus on yourself.

Speaking of yourself, I want you to really, really focus on yourself and your kids. Have a life of your own. Do not cut anybody off because of your husband/man.

You'll be fine.

8 Likes

Re: Update On My Husband Leaving Us by Bubblewitch: 7:47pm On Feb 10, 2022
eniolorunfe:


The bolded is the reason why he is saying those things to your mother… that you are nagging, don’t give him peace etc etc

You need to work on that flaw and learn to master your emotions. It’s not about pretending, it’s about wisdom and understanding the “art” of being a woman and where your strength lies.

Do you have to pick his calls? Even if he’s calling to act like everything is normal; you not picking his calls will send a clear message to him that there are issues that need to be discussed and would allow him miss you. Hopefully that “space” will remind him of how valuable you are to him.

Even when you start working, do you just blurt things out to your coworkers or even boss because you don’t know how to pretend? There is an art to these things or else you would have to be changing jobs over and over again.

Like I said, self development is good but you don’t have to lose your marriage to achieve this.

hope this is the same advice you’d give if the roles were reversed. A man left his home because of an outsider and it’s the victim you people are blaming? Let him marry the babe na

9 Likes

Re: Update On My Husband Leaving Us by Brian47(m): 7:48pm On Feb 10, 2022
All these marriage problems I read on Narialand every day, is literally scaring me from getting married.
Re: Update On My Husband Leaving Us by seanjy4konji: 7:50pm On Feb 10, 2022
Marriage...

No headache for this side..

Make i go watch liver pool and arsenal where they will show it both and wash it down with better goldberg and pepper chicken...

Na why people deh old or die young be all this.

4 Likes

Re: Update On My Husband Leaving Us by womenareapess: 7:51pm On Feb 10, 2022
Amazingbaby:
Biko toks2008 and baby123 make una leave my page even though I love baby123 grin

Link to the first https://www.nairaland.com/6971181/husband-left-us

This week have been crazy, I took alot of advice from this page and was minding my business, I called him on Saturday to come pick the kids because I deserve rest, he said he would prefer coming to the house to see them, he came I cooked and we all ate around 5 he picked up some clothes and left.

He kept calling to talk about things in general and I was responding fine. My kids got sick on Sunday (night fever) and I spent all night tepid sponging and administering drugs.

On Sunday night, he went out with his infamous friend when I called him around 10 he was still out (something he hardly do) when he got back he called and we got talking one thing led to another and I still asked him about the text message and the girl as usual he kept on hammering on how he doesn't owe me any explanation. I told him that if he doesn't give me an explanation I would have to call the girl directly, he cut the call and I actually called her.

When I asked her where she went with my husband the lady told me that my husband saw that she was interested in tech event and took her there on that Saturday, he actually went to pick her up (lol).

I asked her how did she know everything about his business and why would she want to work for him for free, she said my husband normally come to his friends office and when he is not around he do strike up conversation with her and tell her all about his business and she was interested in growing it (lol).

She got very uncomfortable and started talking about how she is a minister in her church (I actually bursted out laughing at this point), she said a whole lot of things contradicting everything my husband told me, he was even talking with her since he left the house.
NAIJA women and self entitled mentality undecided

You useless piece of shiit called naija women undecided
Your husband did himself a great favour by walking out of this shitt called marriage. undecided

You naija women are very useless

3 Likes

Re: Update On My Husband Leaving Us by debbydams(f): 7:51pm On Feb 10, 2022
gift0123:
I can see you are a nagging woman, and you don't give that man peace of mind...
Go and sort out your marital issues abeg.
if u don't have anything meaningful to contribute, u can easily ignore the thread

4 Likes 1 Share

Re: Update On My Husband Leaving Us by Nobody: 7:52pm On Feb 10, 2022
debbydams:
if u don't have anything meaningful to contribute, u can easily ignore the thread

Thank you maam

4 Likes

Re: Update On My Husband Leaving Us by debbydams(f): 7:53pm On Feb 10, 2022
womenareapess:
NAIJA women and self entitled mentality undecided

You useless piece of shiit called naija women undecided
Your husband did himself a great favour by walking out of this shitt called marriage. undecided

You naija women are very useless
I guess your parents are not from this country...

6 Likes 1 Share

Re: Update On My Husband Leaving Us by kingsceemark(m): 7:54pm On Feb 10, 2022
Amazingbaby:
Biko toks2008 and baby123 make una leave my page even though I love baby123 grin

Link to the first https://www.nairaland.com/6971181/husband-left-us

This week have been crazy, I took alot of advice from this page and was minding my business, I called him on Saturday to come pick the kids because I deserve rest, he said he would prefer coming to the house to see them, he came I cooked and we all ate around 5 he picked up some clothes and left.

He kept calling to talk about things in general and I was responding fine. My kids got sick on Sunday (night fever) and I spent all night tepid sponging and administering drugs.

On Sunday night, he went out with his infamous friend when I called him around 10 he was still out (something he hardly do) when he got back he called and we got talking one thing led to another and I still asked him about the text message and the girl as usual he kept on hammering on how he doesn't owe me any explanation. I told him that if he doesn't give me an explanation I would have to call the girl directly, he cut the call and I actually called her.

When I asked her where she went with my husband the lady told me that my husband saw that she was interested in tech event and took her there on that Saturday, he actually went to pick her up (lol).

I asked her how did she know everything about his business and why would she want to work for him for free, she said my husband normally come to his friends office and when he is not around he do strike up conversation with her and tell her all about his business and she was interested in growing it (lol).

She got very uncomfortable and started talking about how she is a minister in her church (I actually bursted out laughing at this point), she said a whole lot of things contradicting everything my husband told me, he was even talking with her since he left the house.

Madam there's something you're not telling us about all the drama between you and your husband, it's like your husband is feed up with you, well, make I no talk wetin dey my mind, the way this your husband dey avoid you like cancer, I dey suspect something oooo

2 Likes

Re: Update On My Husband Leaving Us by intruder15(m): 7:55pm On Feb 10, 2022
socialmediaman:
Madam @ Amazingbaby them don snatch your husband.

Your husband is one of those men who are unhappy with their marriages to the point that they're emotionally checked out of the marriage. Then one day, they meet this lady who lends them a listening ear, motivates them and provides emotional support for them, but tells them "you're still married, I can't sleep with you until you take care of your situation". Perfect motivation to end his marriage.

You both seem to have irreconcilable differences, or maybe some ego problem in your marriage, and nobody wants to take the lead in reconciling those differences. If you still want him, then set your ego aside and tell him, and suggest therapy to him as a last reasonable effort to try to save your marriage, although it may be a little too late. Many Nigerian men will decline therapy because traditionally they want their wives to be the ones to adapt and make changes in the marriage, but if they don't want to lose her, they'll do anything to keep her. In any case, he owes you at least an explanation of what went wrong in your marriage, if you don't already know.

What you're doing presently, that is, trying to get a job and improve yourself, is the best you can do for yourself and your children. Join support groups online and offline, do as much research as possible, there are videos on YouTube and TikTok that will teach you almost anything you want to learn. Keep it up. Hopefully things work out eventually.

Did you read the part where he said that he doesn't owe her an explanation as to where he went to?

A married man telling his wife that? He deserves to be left alone Biko. When the nonsense finish him eye go clear.

@O.P ensure you pray about this whole situation. Pour out your heart to God and continue with your decision except you receive revelation on why you should make it work.

Sometimes, spiritual attack looks so natural using the human eye to analyse.

5 Likes

Re: Update On My Husband Leaving Us by mystery22: 7:57pm On Feb 10, 2022
This one think being a single mother is easy..Unless that man is not providing for the family better try and work things out if not hmmmm ...most responsible men will never marry a single mother..only chop and clean mouth type

7 Likes

Re: Update On My Husband Leaving Us by joyandfaith: 7:57pm On Feb 10, 2022
Amazingbaby:
Biko toks2008 and baby123 make una leave my page even though I love baby123 grin

Link to the first https://www.nairaland.com/6971181/husband-left-us

This week have been crazy, I took alot of advice from this page and was minding my business, I called him on Saturday to come pick the kids because I deserve rest, he said he would prefer coming to the house to see them, he came I cooked and we all ate around 5 he picked up some clothes and left.

He kept calling to talk about things in general and I was responding fine. My kids got sick on Sunday (night fever) and I spent all night tepid sponging and administering drugs.

On Sunday night, he went out with his infamous friend when I called him around 10 he was still out (something he hardly do) when he got back he called and we got talking one thing led to another and I still asked him about the text message and the girl as usual he kept on hammering on how he doesn't owe me any explanation. I told him that if he doesn't give me an explanation I would have to call the girl directly, he cut the call and I actually called her.

When I asked her where she went with my husband the lady told me that my husband saw that she was interested in tech event and took her there on that Saturday, he actually went to pick her up (lol).

I asked her how did she know everything about his business and why would she want to work for him for free, she said my husband normally come to his friends office and when he is not around he do strike up conversation with her and tell her all about his business and she was interested in growing it (lol).

She got very uncomfortable and started talking about how she is a minister in her church (I actually bursted out laughing at this point), she said a whole lot of things contradicting everything my husband told me, he was even talking with her since he left the house.
Though i don't have full story but i can deduce that your husband is cheating or about to start cheating.
Don't file for divorce yet. Keep improving on yourself as you are already doing.
Prepare to raise your kids as a single mom. Prepare mentally for struggle ahead.

5 Likes

Re: Update On My Husband Leaving Us by eyinjuege: 7:58pm On Feb 10, 2022
There is no leadership without accountability.
Ooopppsss, Nigerian men didn't get the memo cheesy

5 Likes

Re: Update On My Husband Leaving Us by goldmatrix(m): 8:01pm On Feb 10, 2022
At no point as a man would I allow my kids to suffer because of my bad character...sometimes u have to own up and apologise to your wife and kids..we owe them alot..
Madam, it's gonna be a long walk to happiness. Not even a job could solve the trauma except you didn't love him.

1 Like 1 Share

Re: Update On My Husband Leaving Us by Ladycewhy(f): 8:03pm On Feb 10, 2022
While I dislike divorce, I believe there is no way you can force a grown man to stay married to you.


It's takes two people to make marriage work, a virtuous woman builds her home they say but if a man takes a chisel and starts chipping off the foundation ,that marriage must collapse. The burden of keeping a marriage was at one time resting on the shoulders of women ,they had to "suffer" ,endure , tolerate, compromise ,be the emotionally matured one, while all the man had to do was pay bills grin.


Anyway,madam op ,you are doing well, you already have your good foot forward in this situation. Some women would have become lean from thinking and doing fasting and prayers to "save" their husbands . Turns out these men are mindless puppets that can be snatched when it comes to cheating but head of the house when they want to assert authority. undecided.


Goodluck madam op.

7 Likes

Re: Update On My Husband Leaving Us by Raturable(m): 8:05pm On Feb 10, 2022
My Sister please can you contact me privately? There’s a different way to handle this that will bring completely different and desirable result- 08162472363
Re: Update On My Husband Leaving Us by Nonexisting: 8:06pm On Feb 10, 2022
luminouz:
See all the people you quoted


Feminists to the core.


Happy new life to you
I dey tell you. Immediately I saw that, I stopped reading because she obviously doesn't want quality advice. A married woman in distress should've be yearning for the advice of other married women who are or may have idea what it means to be in her shoes, not some frustrated feminists. It's likely she wants to end up like them so let her keep listening to them. Let her keep dusting her certificate and going to the gym thinking that's what a man wants but I can say with my full chest that a day is coming when she will remember her actions and cry bitterly had she known.

24 Likes 3 Shares

Re: Update On My Husband Leaving Us by julybaba(m): 8:06pm On Feb 10, 2022
Amazingbaby:


I need to calm down, I mean calm down, even if am tired of the marriage, just calm down.

Many have destroyed their homes by their own hands because of impatience & hear says.

I will calm down. I will consider my kids.
Re: Update On My Husband Leaving Us by Saintkollyjoe: 8:07pm On Feb 10, 2022
There is a third option.share the man with your friend. There is love in sharing.Women are not equal to men. That is why Tisa savage was bashed online for sex tape and Oxlade is being hailed for sex tape leaks. Think
Re: Update On My Husband Leaving Us by womenareapess: 8:08pm On Feb 10, 2022
debbydams:
I guess your parents are not from this country...
definitely! Especially my mum undecided

Don't bothered quoting me! I don't communicate with useless piece of shiit called naija women

1 Like

Re: Update On My Husband Leaving Us by Juoflife1(f): 8:10pm On Feb 10, 2022
If he brings the divorce papers, sign it and let him go. Get a job and You will be fine. If you accept he owes you no explanation, then you must not complain the next time. This is emotional abuse. If that business discussion is not something that will be beneficial for the upkeep of the children in case of a dissolution, limit that sort of discussion. Limit contact with him.
I know your worry will be about the upkeep of the children, a job will take care of that.
You are not wrong asking for explanation. He owes you that.

4 Likes

Re: Update On My Husband Leaving Us by Enemyofpeace: 8:12pm On Feb 10, 2022
It serves you right, shebi I told you to start having extra marital affair with me, you dey do yanga, you were forming for me

1 Like

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