ShaqFu:
Chai! And the postman just delivered a post! Good lord.

Greetings, the one and only _Shaqfu!

It's been a while, bro.

gift0123:
I can see you are a nagging woman, and you don't give that man peace of mind...
Go and sort out your marital issues abeg.

see as small small pikin wey never enter marriage dey cheer her up. The truth is, no man will ever leave the house and stay out for days if the wife is not a troublemaker and nagging douchebag. Let her continue. I throway salute for the man in question.

Amazingbaby:


There was no place I said he was the demon.
It is my narrative so it has to be narrated through my words,oga how would I know what he is feeling,I only know of his actions.
Did I not wrote that he said I hardly give him Peace? That is his words,so what do you want me to say.oh chim!

I am anything but a saint and if demanding answers from my "husband"means I nag and choke then so be it.

At bolded: You are a very manipulative and wicked person for denying that you did not paint your husband as demon.

womenareapess:
definitely! Especially my mum

Don't bothered quoting me! I don't communicate with useless piece of shiit called naija women

smiles..u crack me up lol

what do you really want?
Do you want your marriage to work out?
Do you want to end it?
If you want it to work then you have to be the bigger person and alologize, it comes with consequences though.�‍♂️

If you decide you don't want it then, getting a job and hitting the gym is a good move but remember you have to work twice as hard, because it ain't easy out here, the choice is yours.

Richy4:


The marriage counsellors that I know always try to rebuilt... they try every means possible to reunite until they ran out of options... It seems yours own type of counselling is different... that was why I asked the harmless question... I never even knew that u were even a counsellor or maybe I was mistaken that it could be A local government councillor...because they all sound the same ...

It's good that your concern is reconcilliation. That indeed is the goal of counselling.

But counselling is not all about please, take it easy, it's ok, just forget it"..... it's not all black and white. The are many ways to reconcile people, and you have to look for the best option to achieve lasting peace if it's possible. That's where the hard truth may neccessary.

There times to tell the hard truth. The man from what op posted appears to know he's being mean and unreasonable.

The threat of seperatio is a defensive move. He will neec to drop it to heal completely. That's why I said op should stay cool.

Don't get angry or bitter and you will be clear minded in taking good and firm decision.

I hope you really understand.

My little advice is that you should not push for divorce. Don't ask him why he called mom. This man will come back to his senses and will return home. I do not believe he would trade his wife and kids just because of one irresponsible lady outside. If he doesn't return in two weeks time, then call him and tell him to come home that you both need to talk. Sit him down and have a conversation, tell him to look at his young children........does he want them to end up with divorced parents? Be calm about it. He will return. The devil is trying to use him, so stand in the gap. I know you feel that you can always remarry if he's gone, but this marriage can work out, so stand in the gap.

I really hope my advice is not out of place, because I didn't fully follow up all your comments in both threads.

Its a good thing that you have realised that you needed to help yourself and be strong for your kids. I would only advice you to
Argue less with him
Get a job
Look good and dress neat
Choose your friends and finally
Pray for him.

postmann:


Greetings, the one and only _Shaqfu!

It's been a while, bro.

Yeah it has my good sir. How have you been? I see your penmanship is as sharp as it was since 2016.

I pay my resspet my good sir, and I pay it gladly. Cheers.

Bubblewitch:
hope this is the same advice you’d give if the roles were reversed. A man left his home because of an outsider and it’s the victim you people are blaming? Let him marry the babe na

have you heard from the man in question?

santiagoz:
Women Like u don't deserve to be in a marriage, so full of yourself continue listening to advice from all nairaland feminists and crash ur marriage u think being a single mother is a piece of cake....u go hear word...better make ur marriage work for d sake of ur kids....

Op take this harsh advice.


You don't throw away bathing water with the baby just because the baby is crying too much.


One cheating is not enough to end your marriage oh lol.



Many married ladies encouraging you to divorce that nothing mega, if you check well, their husbands have more than 3 concubines which they know and have accepted them as part of their large family, but here they are encouraging you to divorce your own because of an unverified cheating suspicion, fear women lolz


Since he is not physically abusive or violent, please don't end it oh, even the single ladies encouraging you, their own future husband is already cheating and will cheat but they are here cheering you on and telling you how they cannot tolerate cheating



I am not here to defend your hubby oh, he bleeped up, who hires his side chick to work in his office? He is a learner you better forgive him oh lol, your hubby is not even a pro in cheating lol



You don't have a good job, no existing business, if you accept divorce, my sister it won't be easy financially oh, hope you know?


it may take 3 to 5 years for you to stabilize your business and to secure a good paying job as an out of job mother of one in this Buhariaa goormet no go easy oh, abeg think this thing well sister.



Forget online supporters oh, unless they will form a group and fundraise you like 10million as backup, then you can sign the divorce with azonto dance self



Make una de calm down small small, that dick for men thighs no get sense, you no see as the thing disgrace Aliko Dangote despite his billions abi you no de hear Otedola story for Gistlovers some years back? hmmmm

debbydams:
if u don't have anything meaningful to contribute, u can easily ignore the thread

don't spoil this overtly emotional woman's marriage. She'll see hell as a single mom, trust me.

Amazingbaby:
Biko toks2008 and baby123 make una leave my page even though I love baby123

Link to the first https://www.nairaland.com/6971181/husband-left-us

This week have been crazy, I took alot of advice from this page and was minding my business, I called him on Saturday to come pick the kids because I deserve rest, he said he would prefer coming to the house to see them, he came I cooked and we all ate around 5 he picked up some clothes and left.

He kept calling to talk about things in general and I was responding fine. My kids got sick on Sunday (night fever) and I spent all night tepid sponging and administering drugs.

On Sunday night, he went out with his infamous friend when I called him around 10 he was still out (something he hardly do) when he got back he called and we got talking one thing led to another and I still asked him about the text message and the girl as usual he kept on hammering on how he doesn't owe me any explanation. I told him that if he doesn't give me an explanation I would have to call the girl directly, he cut the call and I actually called her.

When I asked her where she went with my husband the lady told me that my husband saw that she was interested in tech event and took her there on that Saturday, he actually went to pick her up (lol).

I asked her how did she know everything about his business and why would she want to work for him for free, she said my husband normally come to his friends office and when he is not around he do strike up conversation with her and tell her all about his business and she was interested in growing it (lol).

She got very uncomfortable and started talking about how she is a minister in her church (I actually bursted out laughing at this point), she said a whole lot of things contradicting everything my husband told me, he was even talking with her since he left the house.

baby girl calm down and win your husband back, naso marriage be sometimes. You go suffer as a single mum, abeg no thread that part. Biko

postmann:


--Dishonesty
-- Illogical
-- Fish brain
Etc
Are some of the adjectives employed to depict some of your natural shortfalls in this short banter yet, you're painting a picture of being solely attacked based on your anatomical disadvantage.

How dirty could you descend?

What you exhibit her is a vestige of your younger days; the typical naija bîtch who spread her legs in elementary romance pranks and sugar-daddy her youth away thinking she's smart and having the best life, only to end up heart broken, alone and bitter at the twilight of her youth. And then you elect yourself as a female warrior fighting the fights of the downcasts. Disillusioned maggot.

The other side of the coin? You're the true definition of trollop! Men and women are never the same in that respect.

Until my sac needs to be emptied, I hardly noticed your gender existed. And once that's done, it's a man's world where you ain't even invited.

Knuckle headed bîtch!

Why did you stop? Is that all you can manage?

Normal creatures evolve, but you have remained an amorphous jelly in its miasma of self hate and accursedness. The rest of the creatures grew scales and fins, they left that hadal state you come from, but you remain devolved perpetually.

Continue. Tell us more. Perhaps you will provide a modicum of entertainment yet.

Honesty, I hate seeing ladies look down on themselves and think they're nothing without their husbands.
Some are saying mend your marriage bla bla bla bla...
See, you are the only one who truly knows the pain you feel. Stopping letting a man treat you like trash. It's obvious he has lost his respect for you so stop trying to force him to do so.

Be like Rihanna my dear. You've started a gym class? Nice one!
Get back in shape, dress seductive, go out and let other men know you are searching.
Right now, you need a man by your side, who you can speak with, hold hands, and fuúck silly. But only you can get that man of your dreams.

If you do this, the more happier you become and sooner than later you start loosing attraction towards that man you call husband.
Simply because you choose to respect yourself more.
Go baby girl, go have fun.

joyandfaith:

Though i don't have full story but i can deduce that your husband is cheating or about to start cheating.
Don't file for divorce yet. Keep improving on yourself as you are already doing.
Prepare to raise your kids as a single mom. Prepare mentally for struggle ahead.

be ready to send her urgent 2k to feed the kids when the situation begs for it.

What a nigerian man means by peace is a woman that will take his evils, misbehaviour, rubbish and nonsense calmly without a word. Once you ask questions, or demand for accountability then you dont give him peace.

joyandfaith:

Though i don't have full story but i can deduce that your husband is cheating or about to start cheating.
Don't file for divorce yet. Keep improving on yourself as you are already doing.
Prepare to raise your kids as a single mom. Prepare mentally for struggle ahead.

I hope you're ready to send her urgent 2k to feed the kids when the situation begs for it.

Op did your husband marry you a virgin?.... If not... Then carry the cross and GTFOutta this thread..

Athemisia:
Honesty, I hate seeing ladies look down on themselves and think they're nothing without their husbands.
Some are saying mend your marriage bla bla bla bla...
See, you are the only one who truly knows the pain you feel. Stopping letting a man treat you like trash. It's obvious he has lost his respect for you so stop trying to force him to do so.

Be like Rihanna my dear. You've started a gym class? Nice one!
Get back in shape, dress seductive, go out and let other men know you are searching.
Right now, you need a man by your side, who you can speak with, hold hands, and fuúck silly. But only you can get that man of your dreams.

If you do this, the more happier you become and sooner than later you start loosing attraction towards that man you call husband.
Simply because you choose to respect yourself more.
Go baby girl, go have fun.

She has kids....
Seems you aren't married...

Then stop giving st*pid advice

Nyascobar1414:


She has kids....
Seems you aren't married...

Then stop giving st*pid advice

Did her runaway husband consider that?

Nyascobar1414:
Op did your husband marry you a virgin?.... If not...
Then carry the cross and GTFOutta this thread..

See who is giving stüpid advice?
A complete föōl!

Damn! The husband must be frustrated as heck.

Madam, you are too combative in approach and for all we know, there ain't clear evidence that your hubby is having an affair with the said lady.

You want to throw away your marriage based on presumptions, and a mere unsubstantiated distraction at best from a stray woman?

This is really surreal.

CHoccolaTE:
And the men advising her to fight for the man, you people should get out.
Women tolerate and forgive SOOO much in their marriages that's why husbands have the liver to keep misbehaving and cheating without remorse.

Imagine a married man abandoning his kids because of one small rat outside, instead of you people to point out his irresponsible behavior you are telling his wife to fight for him as if the man is a zombie that did not make the decision on his own.
If she fights this girl today and tomorrow he starts chasing another girl should she also fight that one?
And whatever number of loose girls her stupid husband chases in future?

If a woman leaves her husband and kids for her boyfriend you idiots will never advice the husband to fight for her but you expect wives to fight for idiotic, irresponsible husbands.

Dont mind them. They are scared that women are actually demanding for accountability in marriage.

U women keep deceiving yourselves.. So it's after he has started going out that you remember that you have certificate, U need to gym and learn driving right? Why didn't you improve yourself since? You wait until matters get worst before you do the right things. U better secure your marriage, Nobody wants 2nd hand lady when there are lots of fresh ladies out there...

Amazingbaby:
I called my husband and actually blasted him calling him a very big liar and how embarrassed I am.on Monday I left for the hospital he called and we discussed some business and the kids(I was actually not angry again knowing that he is no different from any other guy,if you see how he use to condemn cheating ehh....) Only for my mum to call me around 12 in the afternoon to ask me questions,my husband actually called my mum after I confronted him about what the girl said to tell her he is DONE with me,that I don't give him peace in the house that this and that.in summary calling the girl actually triggered divorce because I am ready for anything.

For those that are doubting that I am a woman,abeg I am.

I followed some lovely people advice and I have actually achieved alot of things this week

1i paid for driving lessons (he literally have to drive me everywhere or I take Uber)
2 I have dusted out my certificate and is seriously looking for jobs(I have contacted alot of outsourcing firms)
3 signed up for gym classes.

In a way I lost myself trying to be a good wife and mother that I literally drove away alot of my friends.i had to stop talking with a good olfriend of mine because my husband was chatting with her behind my back for long (this is one of the reasons I don't trust him)

Lots of information...

So what and what should I do to upgrade myself I have not work for a long time.

Cococandy
Double0h7
Mariangle
Saintmary

Athemisia:
Honesty, I hate seeing ladies look down on themselves and think they're nothing without their husbands.
Some are saying mend your marriage bla bla bla bla...
See, you are the only one who truly knows the pain you feel. Stopping letting a man treat you like trash. It's obvious he has lost his respect for you so stop trying to force him to do so.

Be like Rihanna my dear. You've started a gym class? Nice one!
Get back in shape, dress seductive, go out and let other men know you are searching.
Right now, you need a man by your side, who you can speak with, hold hands, and fuúck silly. But only you can get that man of your dreams.

If you do this, the more happier you become and sooner than later you start loosing attraction towards that man you call husband.
Simply because you choose to respect yourself more.
Go baby girl, go have fun.

The same men you are encouraging her to get in shape and dress seductive to attract will still cheat on her or even do worse than what her hubby did.



The only option is for her to turn to lesbian or dedicate her entire sex life to serving God and focusing on making money to raise her kids and to enjoy her single life.


Telling her to divorce her husband and focus on looking good to attract new men is nothing but running around the bush because the same men will cheat on her abi you no know?



Make una de calm down oh.



The lady her husband is seeing is very easy to convince her to end any amorous affairs she is having with her hubby, i dont see a big deal there.


Any lady that hate her man cheating on her and wants to be fully sure that men wont cheat on her should turn to a lesbian or a sister at a monastry and dedicate her sex life to serving God.


First thing you ladies should do for her to support her is to start a fundraising project to raise between 5 to 15million for her to startup a business and cater for her baby. Any oral or written support without financial backing is suicidal

Richy4:


The marriage counsellors that I know always try to rebuild..... they try every means possible to reunite until they ran out of options... It seems your own type of counselling is different... that was why I asked the harmless question... I never knew that u were even a counsellor or maybe I was mistaken that it could be A local government councillor...because they all sound the same ...

How can your husband just lose interest in u all of a sudden..
From ur story he seems to be the peace loving type..
Something is not quite clear...
But wat do I know

frozen70:


My dear sister, just be calming down, you may have a good point or complains about your marriage and your spouse

But your presentation or the way you handled it us quite regid

To start a life and journey of a single mother especially as you don't have that financial back up yet, is not going to be easy

We don't know much about your husband escapedes but I want you to accept the fact that men must cheat

Their cheating comes either by default or by nature push

But it won't last forever

As you are going with this step you are taking, is possible he has already slipped into the other lady's hand

Men must cheat? The way you women just vomit this nonsense sha..one would think women don't cheat. Is there a woman that haven't cheated before?

ezugegere:
My take on this matter:
1. You still do not have any evidence that your husband is having an affair with that lady. Talking with someone does not equal to having sex with the person.
2. You sound like a nag.
3. You're taking advice from the wrong people. There is no perfect home. If you're not ready to take some smelly shit, better don't get married.
4. Your husband doesn't have peace at home. No man will pack his things and leave his home just like that.
Decide for yourself what you want. If you're not ready to be a wife any longer... then leave!

If her husband is not having peace of mind at home and if he is truly not cheating, then why does he keep calling her every now and then? Guilty much?
If he was truly innocent, then he wouldn’t be calling her every time especially if she was giving him trouble