When I was single and our Imam would tell us ordinary toothpaste can lead to divorce, I thought he was exaggerating. Until a fish-head nearly caused a quarrel between me and my wife.

I'm a typical Ejigbo man. In my town, it is the man of the house who eats the head of a fish. The man is the head, so it's believed that he deserves nothing but the head. Whenever anything is slaughtered, be it fish or goat or cow, the head belongs to the man of the house. The only time he eats other parts is when the head has been eaten by him.

So I went into marriage with that "fish-head-belongs-to-me" mentality.

The first day my wife cooked, I was expecting a big fish-head, only to see the tail in the soup. What! I looked at her side, she served herself the middle. Why would she leave heads in the pot? I wondered. Who else is more important than me that wants to eat those orí-ẹja?

It was too early to complain. So I didn't talk.

The following day. She served me the middle. She also ate another middle. I was angry, but I didn't talk.

When my anger reached the peak was when she wanted to eat and put one head on her food. I concluded my wife was arrogant. How would she take what belonged to me, the husband?

Then I asked, "Why do you want to eat the head when it actually belongs to me?" She was surprised. "You mean you like fish-head?" she simply asked.

Where she came from, the head of a fish is no-fish at all. It's usually left till all other parts are eaten before it's served. So the head is the least important part of a fish in their house.

Strange. Clash of cultures. Clash of upbringings. Clash of orientations.

She actually wanted to serve me the best. In order to achieve that, she took the least important for herself. But here I was fuming that she was arrogant. Come to think of it, why can't my wife eat what belongs to me?

Many have scattered their homes all in the name of assumptions. Many have quarreled all in the name of ego. Many have accused their spouses all in the name of culture. Many have divorced all in the name of little things that children would laugh over.

Why? Lack of effective communication.

Don't assume. Ask questions. Don't boil. Don't be mad. Just ask. Talk to him. Talk to her. By the time s/he tells you what really happened, you'd realise it's actually something you both should laugh over.

Your marriage will prosper.
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quadraheem:


I'm a typical Ejigbo man. In my town, it is the man of the house who eats the head of a fish. The man is the head, so it's believed that he deserves nothing but the head. Whenever anything is slaughtered, be it fish or goat or cow, the head belongs to the man of the house. The only time he eats other parts is when the head has been eaten by him.

Since you are typical Ejigbo man with such belief, why not marry a typical Ejigbo woman and make life easier for yourself and your spouse?

Beloved03:


Since you are typical Ejigbo man with such belief, why not marry a typical Ejigbo woman and make life easier for yourself and your spouse?

No.. there's love in diversification

lilvicky68:

No.. there's love in diversification

Yeah.
The way he said.... I'm a typical 'entitled' Ejigbo man was what I was picking on.

Nice lesson! Thanks for sharing.

In my culture it is an offense to serve your husband the head of any animal. The head is eaten by old women because they enjoy it, and the poor because they can only afford it. Men get the big meat such as the leg etc. While I was reading this I was disgusted lol. I learnt a lot from you op... thanks

Beloved03:


Yeah.
The way he said.... I'm a typical 'entitled' Ejigbo man was what I was picking on.

Lol..for fish head wey no dey get better flesh self..

When it comes to marriage..one has to break every existing man made rules and accept imperfection from both parties.see your significant half as the other half that completes and complements you.thats what the word "missing rib" truely means.seeing your wife as you in a female body.
To Share things in common.

funny enough little things like this can cause problem between childish adults

lilvicky68:

Lol..for fish head wey no dey get better flesh self..

I wonder o

Double0h7:
In my culture it is an offense to serve your husband the head of any animal. The head is eaten by old women because they enjoy it, and the poor because they can only afford it. Men get the big meat such as the leg etc. While I was reading this I was disgusted lol. I learnt a lot from you op... thanks

you are from the swamp then, REAL AFRICAN CULTURES DON'T DO THINGS LIKE THIS...or better go ask your father.

I personally don't like head of fish, to avoid stuffs like this we don't use it to cook the soup...we throw it away.


because I can't be there and she be eating the head, it's an ABOMINATION.

Elianawalker:
funny enough little things like this can cause problem between childish adults

not little things, your sick brain needs to tell you there are different cultural believes and heritage.

all this ajebutters products self, that don't know where they're from

KiNg0G:
you are from the swamp then, REAL AFRICAN CULTURES DON'T DO THINGS LIKE THIS...or better go ask your father.

I personally don't like head of fish, to avoid stuffs like this we don't use it to cook the soup...we throw it away.


because I can't be there and she be eating the head, it's an ABOMINATION.

How has my simple comment invoked insults from you?

May you find peace.

Double0h7:


How has my simple comment invoked insults from you?

May you find peace.

I have peace, just so sad your parents, especially your mother didn't teach you the true africa culture.

coming here to spit trash,


Even a new born baby in the different village in nigeria knows the HEAD OF FISH OR BUSH MEAT IS FOR THE HEAD OF THE HOUSE.

except he gives a permission to someone to eat it, it could be his sons.

this is how our africa culture gets lost.

what a shame.

KiNg0G:

I have peace, just so sad your parents, especially your mother didn't teach you the true africa culture.

coming here to spit trash,


Even a new born baby in the different village in nigeria knows the HEAD OF FISH OR BUSH MEAT IS FOR THE HEAD OF THE HOUSE.

except he gives a permission to someone to eat it, it could be his sons.

this is how our africa culture gets lost.

what a shame.

Wow. OK... thanks