I have noticed that my stepdaughter has been telling neighbours about my life,each time i send this 9 yr old she would take 2 hours...
We don't stay far from the market though... If i am around her she acts fine but when i leave she acts anyhow. Even to the extent people start talking, it will now look like i am bad in training her.
She monitors what i do! even the list of 2022 things i want God to do for me,i hid it in a safe place she took it when i wasn't around and read it. She would be sick, and won't tell me but will be acting sick...
She doesn't even talk at home,but an incident happened in her school,she said someone told her that she saw two of my neighbours kids having sex... For a month this child held it in her heart!! Before she told the boy in question. I was so shocked,the girl's mum wanted to take me to guardroom,till now we don't talk because of this...
I want to make her change, but she pretends a lot,i have tolerated enough for now!.
If you were me, what would you do?

if I tell you say I understand the jargon you write, I lie

Chosen44:
I want to change her but she pretends a lot,i have tolerated enough for now!.
If you were me, what would you do?

Where is her mum and dad in all of this?

Men this is serious...

If you have tolerated her enough kindly package her like suya go give her mama before she lands you into trouble.

That girl is possessed with witchcraft.

Where's her mother?

Truvelisback:
That girl is possessed with witchcraft.

Nothing like that.

Kobojunkiee:
Where is her mum and dad in all of this?

My husband is on outside duty!! and the mother, left my husband for another soldier. So...right now she has 3 kids with her husband,and she's in a barracks in cross-river state.

KiNg0G:
if I tell you say I understand the jargon you write, I lie

If I tell you this didn’t crack me up, it’s a lie

Chosen44:

She doesn't even talk at home,but an incident happened in her school,she said someone told her that she saw two of my neighbours kids having sex... For a month this child held it in her heart!! Before she told the boy in question. I was so shocked,the girl's mum wanted to take me to guardroom,till now we don't talk because of this...

Can you help me understand this part better? You mean, she saw two neighbors having sex, but she kept it a secret for a month before telling someone at her school? and the mom of the girl involved in the alleged sex act wanted to lock you in the guardroom because your stepdaughter gossiped about her daughter in school?

KiNg0G:
if I tell you say I understand the jargon you write, I lie

Bros i use a button phone,it is quite hard to type and the screen is very small. My andriod phone got spoilt by this girl,but she denied it...the dad had to shift the blame on me,ever since then i have been managing with this. Please bear with me!!

She's a curious kid which is quite normal.

If you're her guardian, then you're solely responsible for her behaviour.

Was she completely separated from her biological mother, as in, she doesn't see her biological mother at all? How old was she when that happened? If she has access to her biological mother, does she act the same way towards her? Maybe she doesn't tell you things because she doesn't feel connected with you, and maybe her gossip about you is her way of finding succor or favour with other people. A child in her situation could act the way she does if she is afraid of or doesn't trust or feel connected to her stepmother. When you punish her for instance, she may see it as disdain for her a sign that you hate her, rather than a correctional measure, especially if her step siblings get a pass or other people treat her differently. Then she tries to connect with other people by telling on you.

Assuming she's passing through psychological crisis related to being separated from her mother, your goal is to get her more comfortable to share her feelings with you. Show her some love or sense of belonging so that she can express herself about what's going on with her. When you get more information it will help you with next steps. Also, listen to her father's feedback about your relationship with her, don't see everything completely from your perspective alone

.

Truvelisback:
That girl is possessed with witchcraft.

here we go
Setting the stage for child abuse

Perfect
100

socialmediaman:
Was she completely separated from her biological mother, as in, she doesn't see her biological mother at all? How old was she when that happened? If she has access to her biological mother, does she act the same way towards her? Maybe she doesn't tell you things because she doesn't feel connected with you, and maybe her gossip about you is her way of finding succor or favour with other people. A child in her situation could act the way she does if she is afraid of or doesn't trust or feel connected to her stepmother. When you punish her for instance, she may see it as disdain for her a sign that you hate her, rather than a correctional measure, especially if her step siblings get a pass or other people treat her differently. Then she tries to connect with other people by telling on you.

Assuming she's passing through psychological crisis related to being separated from her mother, your goal is to get her more comfortable to share her feelings with you. Show her some love or sense of belonging so that she can express herself about what's going on with her. When you get more information it will help you with next steps. Also, listen to her father's feedback about your relationship with her, don't see everything completely from your perspective alone

OP you’ve received splendid advice here.
Good luck

InTheCloudySky:
Some kids are naturally inquisitive and it ends there, while others can push the boundary of being inquisitive well into the ‘nosey’ area. Nosiness shouldn’t go unchecked. If not addressed when kids are young, their nosiness could worsen as they grow up and could be the source of annoying habits such as eavesdropping from behind doors, snooping around on your computer, and even listening into phone conversations.

1. Anytime you notice her being nosy or snooping again, let her know it's wrong and that she shouldn't do it again. E.g. when you noticed she read the list of the things you want God to do for you in 2022, you should've done the above. You're her guardian; it's your duty to correct her when she's doing something inappropriate. It doesn't mean you should maltreat (and I'm glad that's not the case here ) but you don't have to keep mute either. Treat her the same way you would treat your own daughter when you catch her doing something she shouldn't be doing.

2. Lock up the things you don't want her to see or store them where she won't have access.

3. Have a relationship with her, so she can build trust with you. That way, she will feel free to confide in you about things she sees (e.g. the sex scene) as opposed to keeping them in.

4. Find out what her hobbies and talents are and redirect her energy towards them.

[quote author=InTheCloudySky post=110234190]Some kids are naturally inquisitive and it ends there, while others can push the boundary of being inquisitive well into the ‘nosey’ area. Nosiness shouldn’t go unchecked. If not addressed when kids are young, their nosiness could worsen as they grow up and could be the source of annoying habits such as eavesdropping from behind doors, snooping around on your computer, and even listening into phone conversations.

1. Anytime you notice her being nosy or snooping again, let her know it's wrong and that she shouldn't do it again. E.g. when you noticed she read the list of the things you want God to do for you in 2022, you should've done the above. You're her guardian; it's your duty to correct her when she's doing something inappropriate. It doesn't mean you should maltreat (and I'm glad that's not the case here ) but you don't have to keep mute either. Treat her the same way you would treat your own daughter. Thank you!!