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Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Family / Am I Being Selfish & Wicked Here? (1038 Views)
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Am I Being Selfish & Wicked Here? by lebete3000: 5:13pm On Feb 27, 2022 |
Hello guys, dunno if I should post this here or not. I've been squatting with my guy for 2/12 now and he has been a very good & excellent guy to me. Not once has he showed me any attitude since living with him. However something happened this afternoon which I feel terribly guilty of. He urgently needs 10k to help give to his mom who came visiting him for like 3days but I lied to him that I only have 3k, meanwhile I have a total of like 17k in my account. Now before you cut off my head, let me tell you about my predicament. I'm actually working working but that money is something I've planned to use to relocate and manage myself in the new apartment someone leased to me for free. I'll actually be using my blanket asmy bed there. I've exhausted all the loan apps on my phone, and the salary I'm even waiting for would read minus once it enters, in servicing those loans. I'm not re sure when this my guy would return the money, as I'm in a precarious situation here, and don't want to keep add up loans or begg from colleagues when I need the cash badly, and I won't want to start disturbing someone who's helped me for free for 2/12. This is money I can actually dash him if I were boxed up as I've done to a friend who housed me for 1week before- I fsshed him 10k when I was leaving for his help, even though it's very small compared to the help he rendered me then. I'm however feeling very guilty I lied to him, but if I tell him the truth and don't help him, Ill be like a villain as people rarely understand anything. I need to leave his place not because I know the sacrifice he's made for me, and I need to move into that apartment quickly so as not to miss it. I know how he really needs his privacy as it's just a self-contained apartment, and apart from that, I also need my privacy to think we'll, as I can only do that when I'm alone, which is almost impossible in his apartment. Guys please send your candid opinion about me. Am I a wicked person? Thank you. 2 Likes |
Re: Am I Being Selfish & Wicked Here? by dawnomike(m): 5:21pm On Feb 27, 2022 |
You were wrong to have lied... But, the 3k was what you cud spare so there wàs nothing bad in that lebete3000: 2 Likes |
Re: Am I Being Selfish & Wicked Here? by ramaju: 5:30pm On Feb 27, 2022 |
Telling you that you are guilty or not makes no sense without hearing from your guy, but you know that everybody has conscience. Is your conscience pricking you? Nothing judges us better than our conscience. |
Re: Am I Being Selfish & Wicked Here? by lebete3000: 5:33pm On Feb 27, 2022 |
dawnomike: I know I was wrong to lie, but telling the truth in this situation won't have helped me in any way. It would have worsened my situation I think. Cos the guy would end up pressuring me to borrow him, and at the end of the day I'll get stranded if I bulge or hated instantly if I don't. He himself pro doesn't have money, as he said his transfers are not working, meanwhile the bank is not too faraway to withdraw cash from. His mom was supposed to be leaving today, but he's told his mom to stay that he'll take her out tonight. Something makes me feel he's testing me sef or he's waiting for some money- I don't know. But the level wey I dey now, na only myself I fit becom indebted for, except it's a life threatening emergency which is not here. I just really pray out friendship doesn't go sour after this... ![]() 2 Likes |
Re: Am I Being Selfish & Wicked Here? by lebete3000: 5:36pm On Feb 27, 2022 |
ramaju: Ofcourse my conscience hurts me like hell, but is not a great judge all the time. Looking closely at this situation you'll understand why. We all lie sometimes for safety & the right reasons, doesn't mean our conscience still won't prick us, except those whose conscience have already been seared with hot iron. In this situation, I'm in survival mode. Would have been a different case if his mom had an emergency and I don't. I still feel extremely terrible though. |
Re: Am I Being Selfish & Wicked Here? by dawnomike(m): 5:38pm On Feb 27, 2022 |
lebete3000:As i said earlier, nothing bad in giving what you could spare. I just hope he is not aware that you had 18k |
Re: Am I Being Selfish & Wicked Here? by lebete3000: 5:40pm On Feb 27, 2022 |
dawnomike: No he is not, but from the guilt on my face, and the fact that I've stayed in a hotel for 2days (#2,500/day), he knows I'm lying about having only 3k left on me. I should have told him I could only spare him 3k though, that would have been better. Now I don't know how to put it to him ![]() |
Re: Am I Being Selfish & Wicked Here? by dawnomike(m): 5:47pm On Feb 27, 2022 |
lebete3000:The die has been cast... Take your mind of it 1 Like |
Re: Am I Being Selfish & Wicked Here? by lebete3000: 6:04pm On Feb 27, 2022 |
dawnomike: Hmm, would try to do that. Thanks. But what is your honest personal assessment of me from my write-up so far? I'm just curious. |
Re: Am I Being Selfish & Wicked Here? by Richy4(m): 6:09pm On Feb 27, 2022 |
The question is <<<Are u living with him free of charge? <<<Do you contribute towards the up keep like electricity, water, food etc..? If you don't pay your way in that house, and u couldn't assist him,... Then I have no words for you ![]() |
Re: Am I Being Selfish & Wicked Here? by chatinent: 6:11pm On Feb 27, 2022 |
You didn't lie. Yes, you had a total of N17k in your account but what you have to give is N3k. Case closed. 2 Likes |
Re: Am I Being Selfish & Wicked Here? by Haakeem(m): 6:15pm On Feb 27, 2022 |
No stress your self ma nigga, this life e get as e be. U got a reasonable reason for lying to him, if he is on nairaland and he sees this ur post he would understand. 2 Likes |
Re: Am I Being Selfish & Wicked Here? by dawnomike(m): 6:27pm On Feb 27, 2022 |
lebete3000:To me, you simply gave out what you could part with... It is a lesson I have learnt the hard way over time. You did the right thing 2 Likes |
Re: Am I Being Selfish & Wicked Here? by MufasaLion: 6:31pm On Feb 27, 2022 |
So you lied to me? This is unfair, bro. ![]() |
Re: Am I Being Selfish & Wicked Here? by Kennyprince: 6:33pm On Feb 27, 2022 |
lebete3000: Well , you are not really wicked but I guess u were considering those factors you mentioned. About your salary that u are expecting, kindly use a thousand naira in your account, change your ATM card and enjoy this months salary while u pay your apps whenever u are pleased. Apps shd not kill us abeg!!! 1 Like 1 Share |
Re: Am I Being Selfish & Wicked Here? by Mariangeles(f): 6:35pm On Feb 27, 2022 |
lebete3000: Don’t be too hard on yourself. You’re human, and no human is perfect. 1 Like |
Re: Am I Being Selfish & Wicked Here? by dayoscape: 6:40pm On Feb 27, 2022 |
Personally I think you haven't done anything wrong... It's just your conscience judging you...and that's good...it shows you're a good person...a good person that already have plans for his money...some people no get conscience reach that level... I understand you bro If I were you What I'll do in this situation is to go and withdraw that 3k and give him and not even think of collecting it back. That alone will clear my conscience I wish you the best man 2 Likes 1 Share |
Re: Am I Being Selfish & Wicked Here? by Cutehector(m): 6:44pm On Feb 27, 2022 |
Please you are not a wicked person. If he cannot appreciate the 3k, then he should go fcvk himself. Honestly everyone has their own personal issues, and anyone who tries to make you feel bad for even trying to help should go and get the money by themselves. |
Re: Am I Being Selfish & Wicked Here? by Stevenbright(m): 6:58pm On Feb 27, 2022 |
lebete3000: What you told him you are having is what you can spare and there is nothing wrong with that. My advice: Gift that 3K to him and not as a loan. Also make sure that when leaving his place you do it in peace. |
Re: Am I Being Selfish & Wicked Here? by Acidosis(m): 7:16pm On Feb 27, 2022 |
You have done no wrong. But like someone mentioned, the feeling of guilt is a sign that you have a good heart. To buttress what someone also mentioned, make sure you gift him something. Make sure you reward his good deeds at some point. For now, focus on settling your debts. May favour locate you. 2 Likes |
Re: Am I Being Selfish & Wicked Here? by lebete3000: 10:16pm On Feb 27, 2022 |
Richy4: I contribute nothing actually. But I'm planning to move to the quarters given to me, and I have only 17k on me to survive, with enough debts on my head... Mind you I'll be using my blanket as mattress in this new apartment, as I need to build myself back up, coupled with the fact I wasn't sure if the money would be returned by tomorrow or not... That's my predicament... |
Re: Am I Being Selfish & Wicked Here? by lebete3000: 10:19pm On Feb 27, 2022 |
chatinent: Didn't say it or meant it like that though, I made him believe 3k was the last cash on me. I then later offered to borrow him the 3k. He didn't respond. |
Re: Am I Being Selfish & Wicked Here? by lebete3000: 10:20pm On Feb 27, 2022 |
dawnomike: You mean lying to him 3k was the last cash on me was a wise move, being the last cash I could part with? |
Re: Am I Being Selfish & Wicked Here? by lebete3000: 10:22pm On Feb 27, 2022 |
Kennyprince: I can choose to do that, but I can actually settle my debts with my salary. Though I'll have no savings, but it's better cleared off jarey... |
Re: Am I Being Selfish & Wicked Here? by lebete3000: 10:24pm On Feb 27, 2022 |
dayoscape: He didn't even respond me on Whatsapp when I offered him that. He knew I was lying, thinking Im just being a wicked person who has a lot of money to part with... |
Re: Am I Being Selfish & Wicked Here? by lebete3000: 10:25pm On Feb 27, 2022 |
Cutehector: Person wey I dey stay for hin house dey use hin utilities for free?! You be odaran ![]() |
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