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Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Family / Can You Marry A Man Who Lives In His Family House? (26698 Views)
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Re: Can You Marry A Man Who Lives In His Family House? by emifunrami: 4:16pm On Feb 28, 2022 |
God who is the author of marriage prescribes that for the reason of marriage a man must leave his parents and cleave to his wife. There's a need for the guy to move out of his family house, get an apartment of his own for the wellbeing of the proposed marriage. Your actions so far are good and sensible. The lady in question may not listen to your wise counsel. Most of them in that situation are like that. I would also suggest that if the lady insists on marrying into the husband's family house, let her go, do the wedding as you are able so that your good intentions will not be turned to evil in the future. If you go to God for counsel, he will tell you his will but will not force you to follow it.You have done your part well so far. 1 Like |
Re: Can You Marry A Man Who Lives In His Family House? by doshiyad1: 4:16pm On Feb 28, 2022 |
Iyaebe: Absolutely and perfectly correct. |
Re: Can You Marry A Man Who Lives In His Family House? by Saintmary(f): 4:17pm On Feb 28, 2022 |
BluntTheApostle: I think your Dad, as an elder has seen something you haven't seen. The girl is wilful, and has had a history of getting her way. Let her do her wish now, of course she will learn a possibly bitter lesson later in life. Just watch out for her and let her know you have stuff going on in your life when the bills start piling up for her. Do your best but please let her learn. 2 Likes 1 Share |
Re: Can You Marry A Man Who Lives In His Family House? by Nobody: 4:17pm On Feb 28, 2022 |
As for me never. It's best "Mr husband to be" start looking for his own apartment. Some family members too sabi see finish, seeing she is even young they would want to involve her in all the petty little things they do, Iyawo come help me uproot cassava, fry garri and she can't refuse even if she don't want to. Some would even want to pick on or bully her , Bad belle go say she wear new dress and spread new bra outside, in extreme cases some would even say she breathes too much. Stay away from nuclear or extended family is the best ! |
Re: Can You Marry A Man Who Lives In His Family House? by samuel051: 4:17pm On Feb 28, 2022 |
Iyaebe:mumu, u should know a sarcastic comment wen u see one, I started paying my rent since 2008,na roofing remain make I move into my own property. U nairaland no1 nuisance dey form like say one sense dey ur pangolo head.. asigidi |
Re: Can You Marry A Man Who Lives In His Family House? by Kobojunkie: 4:17pm On Feb 28, 2022 |
Abujason:The man here is a 30-year-old, looking to marrying a child who has yet to have a chance and go at establishing herself. The question about whether he is mature and responsible enough for the burden he wishes to take on definitely and absolutely needs to be asked. ![]() 3 Likes |
Re: Can You Marry A Man Who Lives In His Family House? by izzou(m): 4:19pm On Feb 28, 2022 |
This family house issue is always dicey. If this 30+ year old man had Innoson or Adenuga as a father,and he was living with 20 uncles and nieces in a family house, I am absolutely sure you would have chased your niece to add to the numbers. The most important thing for me is the character of the man. Can he take care of your niece? Can he provide for his family? I have seen people rent their own apartments, and when life hits them, they relocate to their family house. Heaven did not fall. Don't use this option to rule the guy out. My opinion 3 Likes 2 Shares |
Re: Can You Marry A Man Who Lives In His Family House? by doshiyad1: 4:20pm On Feb 28, 2022 |
Re: Can You Marry A Man Who Lives In His Family House? by Kobojunkie: 4:21pm On Feb 28, 2022 |
chukwuibuipob:1. According to Op, that is where the man-boy plans to live with his wife. ![]() 2. I don't believe OP wants him to borrow anything. Instead, he only needs only to show he himself capable and ready to live independent of his parents since that is what marriage is about. ![]() 1 Like |
Re: Can You Marry A Man Who Lives In His Family House? by Nobody: 4:21pm On Feb 28, 2022 |
Read everything and read the replies... Mine is... a struggling man wants to marry and expect another man to fund the marriage, why the rush from a 20yr old girl in this modern age? Here's the thing, if you sponsor the marriage, will you also sponsor the living, the financial services in their lives money brings respect, I assure you, ur niece and the man won't have respect in that house,and she being younger than the wives,sisters and brothers and probably the guy's nieces and nephews etc.... and women barely live together without quarrel.... ur niece behavior is as a result of what the guy is telling her and believe me,she will come home pregnant and ur hands will be tied.. I don't understand why a man of 30yrs will still be with this archaic reasoning... if you can't man up and threaten the guy out of her life,be prepared to accept anything that comes next... people think that it's only love that makes marriage work... I'm this kind of guy, if na me,I'll tell them the blunt truth and if she decides to go ahead,I will ask them to marry but my 1kobo won't be there,den if my worries dawn on her,I won't even show concern and I won't let her divorce and even if she does,I won't accept her back..... just let them marry and the money u will put in that marriage should be channeled to her opening a business or a shop to be dependent should the unthinkable starts...... igbo amaka 2 Likes 1 Share |
Re: Can You Marry A Man Who Lives In His Family House? by Blackdisciple(m): 4:25pm On Feb 28, 2022 |
Rubbish question so if na inherited house nko |
Re: Can You Marry A Man Who Lives In His Family House? by Kobojunkie: 4:28pm On Feb 28, 2022 |
Blackdisciple:If the man-boy inherited the house, then it wouldn't be called a family house, would it? ![]() Or are you suggesting he may have only inherited a room or 2 in the house? ![]() 2 Likes 1 Share |
Re: Can You Marry A Man Who Lives In His Family House? by PorousVagina: 4:40pm On Feb 28, 2022 |
[s] Iyaebe:[/s] |
Re: Can You Marry A Man Who Lives In His Family House? by Kobojunkie: 4:41pm On Feb 28, 2022 |
Zonefree:The Op didn't particularly state that the man sponsored his own masters so make we no add sheen to the story. ![]() Also, the man is 30, OP'S niece has yet to have a go at a chance of getting her own masters, so I am not certain why you feel a need to compare them both, achievement-wise. ![]() 4 Likes 1 Share |
Re: Can You Marry A Man Who Lives In His Family House? by PorousVagina: 4:41pm On Feb 28, 2022 |
[s] Iyaebe:[/s] |
Re: Can You Marry A Man Who Lives In His Family House? by PorousVagina: 4:42pm On Feb 28, 2022 |
[s] Iyaebe:[/s] |
Re: Can You Marry A Man Who Lives In His Family House? by Kobojunkie: 4:42pm On Feb 28, 2022 |
samuel051:Jesus Christ did rent an apartment while he was on earth. It is recorded in scripture that this happened. ![]() And I am lost as to why you chose to drag Jesus Christ into this to begin with. ![]() 1 Like |
Re: Can You Marry A Man Who Lives In His Family House? by Belafonte(m): 4:42pm On Feb 28, 2022 |
Ishilove: 21 is a very, very good time to get married. If there's any reason for her to wait, it should be to get a solid financial footing before taking the step. |
Re: Can You Marry A Man Who Lives In His Family House? by Kobojunkie: 4:44pm On Feb 28, 2022 |
BluntTheApostle:Why are you worried about funding the wedding though? Isn't that up to the man's side to do? ![]() 1 Like |
Re: Can You Marry A Man Who Lives In His Family House? by Kobojunkie: 4:45pm On Feb 28, 2022 |
Belafonte:Why is 21 a very good time to marry when at that age all she has to bring "to the table" is her vagina, as many have taking to stating? ![]() 1 Like |
Re: Can You Marry A Man Who Lives In His Family House? by Mariangeles(f): 4:46pm On Feb 28, 2022 |
Kobojunkie: Jesus’ PA. ![]() |
Re: Can You Marry A Man Who Lives In His Family House? by Kobojunkie: 4:47pm On Feb 28, 2022 |
Mariangeles:I no be Him PA, I just happen to have read well what is written of Him right there in the Gospels. ![]() 1 Like |
Re: Can You Marry A Man Who Lives In His Family House? by Nobody: 4:50pm On Feb 28, 2022 |
BluntTheApostle: Ahhh, she is just 21 years old and wants to marry into a family house where extended families of her husband-to-be lives? I can assure you for someone her age, she won’t be able to cope in that kind of setting. Firstly, she’s young and young couples need privacy during the first year of their marriage. Secondly, she would be seen as someone the uncles and aunties of her husband-to-be can ask to be doing house chores, taking care of their children and sending errands like she’s their maid even while she has her own responsibilities as a wife to her husband and as a student. She will not only be cooking for her husband but also for the extended family too. The workload will be too much for her. Your niece can’t cope in that setting especially because of her age. And why are you the one sponsoring the wedding? Your niece is still in achy and she wants to get married to someone not financially able to sponsor his own wedding? Ahhh! Please talk to her mother and you both should calmly talk to her about these issues and if she insists then leave her be to go ahead with the wedding plans. WHEN it finally dawns on her in that house, she would be on her own. 1 Like 1 Share |
Re: Can You Marry A Man Who Lives In His Family House? by lanocfoods: 4:50pm On Feb 28, 2022 |
That kind arrangement no dey too work, but if they insist allow her, nothing passed experience. My bestie went the same route and she is not finding it funny, her saving grace is that her husband is on her side. |
Re: Can You Marry A Man Who Lives In His Family House? by Belafonte(m): 4:51pm On Feb 28, 2022 |
Kobojunkie: You really need to understand what you're replying to. I know you know a lot of stuff, but it would be wise to add comprehension t your list of skills. This particular 21 year old may have only her vagïna to bring to the table, but that is not so for all 21 year olds. Capisce? |
Re: Can You Marry A Man Who Lives In His Family House? by Belafonte(m): 4:53pm On Feb 28, 2022 |
NeoWanZaeed: He doesn't have to leave her to learn the hard way. He's there for exactly this reason, to provide guidance and instruction when and where he feels she can do better. Hence, Ishilove's use of the term 'tough love'. "Foolishness is in the hart of a child, but the rod if correction drives it away" |
Re: Can You Marry A Man Who Lives In His Family House? by Nobody: 4:53pm On Feb 28, 2022 |
Blackdisciple:Inherited house means he should bring in his aunties and uncles with their children to come live there and still marry a wife inside that same house? |
Re: Can You Marry A Man Who Lives In His Family House? by Kobojunkie: 4:54pm On Feb 28, 2022 |
Belafonte:ROFLMAO ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() So, you are not speaking of this here 21-year old, abi? make i rephrase my question small to help you then.. ![]() Why is 21 a very good time to marry when at that age what a majority of Nigerian women have to bring "to the table" is a vagina, as many have taking to stating? ![]() 4 Likes |
Re: Can You Marry A Man Who Lives In His Family House? by Nobody: 4:56pm On Feb 28, 2022 |
lanocfoods:It’s always terrible especially for her age(21), the husband’s aunties and uncles will turn her to a slave las las 1 Like |
Re: Can You Marry A Man Who Lives In His Family House? by NeoWanZaeed(m): 4:57pm On Feb 28, 2022 |
Belafonte: She no go listen and may hate her aunty for that |
Re: Can You Marry A Man Who Lives In His Family House? by Belafonte(m): 4:57pm On Feb 28, 2022 |
Mariangeles: I believe his father is wrong. A bad (possibly, bit in this case, not definitely) marriage is not something that you push someone into learning hard lessons from. At the very least, financial stability should be impressed upon her |
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