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I'm Torn Between My Ex And New Boyfriend - Romance - Nairaland

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I'm Torn Between My Ex And New Boyfriend by MamiTer: 1:33am On Mar 09, 2022
Hello good people of nairaland, I have a pressing issue and I really need your help.

A couple of years back I broke up with my boyfriend whom I really loved due to distance barriers. Getting over him was difficult for me so I had to go into a relationship with one of my toasters in order to get him off my mind.

I achieved my aim after a couple of months but the current guy was unwilling to let go, I didn't love him and couldn't get myself to love him despite trying to. I know I was selfish and opened up to him but he insisted that I would warm up to him with time and grow to love him.

The relationship was far from perfect, I was in it solely for what I benefited but we weren't compatible and it was from one issue to another. We were always at logger heads all the time. He insults me and my family at any given opportunity and talks down on me using secrets I shared with him as leverage each time we quarrel. He shredded my self-esteem.

He was insecure and attacked my male friends at any given opportunity including my lecturers, he would access my social media accounts and send derogatory message to any male contact he feels is making a pass at me.
All these attitudes made me fed up with him and I decided to breakup for good.

Early this year I met a guy online and somehow we vibed together quickly, we met physically for the first time and it felt like we've known for ages. Everything moved so quickly with this new guy that I started developing serious feelings for him. I was scared because I never knew I would feel something like that again after I broke up with my other ex.

This new guy makes me happy and treats me like a woman, anytime spent with him is always memorable and I don't feel like leaving. The chemistry that we share is super strong and everything seems so perfect.

Now to my issue, this new guy is a fresh graduate and not yet stable, I don't have issues with his financial status because he made me realize a Lady can actually be happy without money being thrown at her. But I'm still scared of going all full into the relationship he might go for service and never come back to me. I don't just want a repeat of my previous relationship that got shattered after my ex relocated.

On the other hand, the other guy is hell bent on getting me back, he's been pleading and sending people to beg me even though I told him I've moved on and has even had sex with the new guy but he still wants me back.

I'm confused and don't know what to do, my heart is with the new guy but the other guy is making things so difficult for me and almost driving me insane. Can I still grow to love him?? Though I've been unable to after almost a year.

Should move on with the new guy?? I've known him for barely two months but it seems I've known him for ages, my feelings are exploding and I can hardly control them which is making me scared.

I'm sorry for the long epistle but I had to let it all out.
Please advice me.

21 Likes 2 Shares

Re: I'm Torn Between My Ex And New Boyfriend by YinkaOlusesi16(m): 1:40am On Mar 09, 2022
You don`t know what you want & you will never know what you want. To me you are just a confused fellow

358 Likes 14 Shares

Re: I'm Torn Between My Ex And New Boyfriend by Spider20: 1:41am On Mar 09, 2022
MamiTer:
Hello good people of nairaland, I have a pressing issue and I really need your help.

A couple of years back I broke up with my boyfriend whom I really loved due to distance barriers. Getting over him was difficult for me so I had to go into a relationship with one of my toasters in order to get him off my mind.

I achieved my aim after a couple of months but the current guy was unwilling to let go, I didn't love him and couldn't get myself to love him despite trying to. I know I was selfish and opened up to him but he insisted that I would warm up to him with time and grow to love him.

The relationship was far from perfect, I was in it solely for what I benefited but we weren't compatible and it was from one issue to another. We were always at logger heads all the time. He insults me and my family at any given opportunity and talks down on me using secrets I shared with him as leverage each time we quarrel. He shredded my self-esteem.

He was insecure and attacked my male friends at any given opportunity including my lecturers, he would access my social media accounts and send derogatory message to any male contact he feels is making a pass at me.
All these attitudes made me fed up with him and I decided to breakup for good.

Early this year I met a guy online and somehow we vibed together quickly, we met physically for the first time and it felt like we've known for ages. Everything moved so quickly with this new guy that I started developing serious feelings for him. I was scared because I never knew I would feel something like that again after I broke up with my other ex.

This new guy makes me happy and treats me like a woman, anytime spent with him is always memorable and I don't feel like leaving. The chemistry that we share is super strong and everything seems so perfect.

Now to my issue, this new guy is a fresh graduate and not yet stable, I don't have issues with his financial status because he made me realize a Lady can actually be happy without money being thrown at her. But I'm still scared of going all full into the relationship he might go for service and never come back to me. I don't just want a repeat of my previous relationship that got shattered after my ex relocated.

On the other hand, the other guy is hell bent on getting me back, he's been pleading and sending people to beg me even though I told him I've moved on and has even had sex with the new guy but he still wants me back.

I'm confused and don't know what to do, my heart is with the new guy but the other guy is making things so difficult for me and almost driving me insane. Can I still grow to love him?? Though I've been unable to after almost a year.

Should move on with the new guy?? I've known him for barely two months but it seems I've known him for ages, my feelings are exploding and I can hardly control them which is making me scared.

I'm sorry for the long epistle but I had to let it all out.
Please advice me.
Rubbish undecided undecided

105 Likes 5 Shares

Re: I'm Torn Between My Ex And New Boyfriend by Innobee99(m): 3:08am On Mar 09, 2022
How will I be surprised hearing this from an average Nigerian Lady






Never

173 Likes 3 Shares

Re: I'm Torn Between My Ex And New Boyfriend by Mjshexy(f): 3:29am On Mar 09, 2022
My dear, are you sure you're matured enough to go into a relationship because you don't really know what you want?
Where does your happiness lie?
Who gives you comfort & rest of mind?
Who respects you wholeheartedly?
Look, no one will decide for you because we are not in your shoes, you should know what you want if truly you're matured enough, else you stay off relationships and focus on your studies and on developing yourself sad

132 Likes 2 Shares

Re: I'm Torn Between My Ex And New Boyfriend by Kingpee2(m): 3:42am On Mar 09, 2022
You are not confused ,you just love preeq and also your heart is not matured enough yet for a relationship,if at this stage of your life you are still battling between your past and present I doubt if you know exactly what you are doing ,you want to eat your cake and have it ,you said you moved on and yet still getting drawn to your past ,my ex visited me and told me she wanted space and break up ,sharp guy like me ,I was just laughing because I’ve got too much of them and needed to even let some of them go ,heartbreak isn’t for a man like me ,she notices how I view her status on whatsapp and even get to check up on her once in a while,one morning I just stopped checking up on her and the only thing I do is just to see status,babe called me up one day and said I dont even care about her ,for my mind I just said what exactly do these girls want ,the human truth is that ,women are at loss breaking up from one guy to the other because na their Totoooh mileage go dey count and trust me ,it’s like dropping from preeq to another ,so automatically just know that after your breakup to another Na preeq you just dey change no be man ...I have no advise for you because you are not matured enough to advise yourself rather than waiting for advise from others .....Your age is just counting you are not matured yet....

105 Likes 2 Shares

Re: I'm Torn Between My Ex And New Boyfriend by phintohlar(f): 4:33am On Mar 09, 2022
My dear, you are not even supposed to ask this question at all, so you'll rather prefer to stay with a bully right? Well the choice is yours

46 Likes 1 Share

Re: I'm Torn Between My Ex And New Boyfriend by yuping(m): 4:52am On Mar 09, 2022
lipsrsealed

1 Like

Re: I'm Torn Between My Ex And New Boyfriend by Kaolaniyi(m): 5:39am On Mar 09, 2022
Kingpee2:
You are not confused ,you just love preeq and also your heart is not matured enough yet for a relationship,if at this stage of your life you are still battling between your past and present I doubt if you know exactly what you are doing ,you want to eat your cake and have it ,you said you moved on and yet still getting drawn to your past ,my ex visited me and told me she wanted space and break up ,sharp guy like me ,I was just laughing because I’ve got too much of them and needed to even let some of them go ,heartbreak isn’t for a man like me ,she notices how I view her status on whatsapp and even get to check up on her once in a while,one morning I just stopped checking up on her and the only thing I do is just to see status,babe called me up one day and said I dont even care about her ,for my mind I just said what exactly do these girls want ,the human truth is that ,women are at loss breaking up from one guy to the other because na their Totoooh mileage go dey count and trust me ,it’s like dropping from preeq to another ,so automatically just know that after your breakup to another Na preeq you just dey change no be man ...I have no advise for you because you are not matured enough to advise yourself rather than waiting for advise from others .....Your age is just counting you are not matured yet....

Nice write up she doesn't know her stand brace up am a firm decision nobody will decide for you you're the architect of your own life

10 Likes

Re: I'm Torn Between My Ex And New Boyfriend by helinues: 5:45am On Mar 09, 2022
To start with, you do not have anything like love map.

Falling in love within short period of time with different people is abnormal..

You might need to first go and love yourself cos based on your epistle, you are yet to know what you really want.

If you have broken up with someone, at least you should be able to stand your ground without been intimadated by any pressure..

48 Likes 2 Shares

Re: I'm Torn Between My Ex And New Boyfriend by phemmyfour: 5:51am On Mar 09, 2022
MamiTer:
Hello good people of nairaland, I have a pressing issue and I really need your help.

A couple of years back I broke up with my boyfriend whom I really loved due to distance barriers. Getting over him was difficult for me so I had to go into a relationship with one of my toasters in order to get him off my mind.

I achieved my aim after a couple of months but the current guy was unwilling to let go, I didn't love him and couldn't get myself to love him despite trying to. I know I was selfish and opened up to him but he insisted that I would warm up to him with time and grow to love him.

The relationship was far from perfect, I was in it solely for what I benefited but we weren't compatible and it was from one issue to another. We were always at logger heads all the time. He insults me and my family at any given opportunity and talks down on me using secrets I shared with him as leverage each time we quarrel. He shredded my self-esteem.

He was insecure and attacked my male friends at any given opportunity including my lecturers, he would access my social media accounts and send derogatory message to any male contact he feels is making a pass at me.
All these attitudes made me fed up with him and I decided to breakup for good.

Early this year I met a guy online and somehow we vibed together quickly, we met physically for the first time and it felt like we've known for ages. Everything moved so quickly with this new guy that I started developing serious feelings for him. I was scared because I never knew I would feel something like that again after I broke up with my other ex.

This new guy makes me happy and treats me like a woman, anytime spent with him is always memorable and I don't feel like leaving. The chemistry that we share is super strong and everything seems so perfect.

Now to my issue, this new guy is a fresh graduate and not yet stable, I don't have issues with his financial status because he made me realize a Lady can actually be happy without money being thrown at her. But I'm still scared of going all full into the relationship he might go for service and never come back to me. I don't just want a repeat of my previous relationship that got shattered after my ex relocated.

On the other hand, the other guy is hell bent on getting me back, he's been pleading and sending people to beg me even though I told him I've moved on and has even had sex with the new guy but he still wants me back.

I'm confused and don't know what to do, my heart is with the new guy but the other guy is making things so difficult for me and almost driving me insane. Can I still grow to love him?? Though I've been unable to after almost a year.

Should move on with the new guy?? I've known him for barely two months but it seems I've known him for ages, my feelings are exploding and I can hardly control them which is making me scared.

I'm sorry for the long epistle but I had to let it all out.
Please advice me.
None of them is your man. You are yet to reach your destination

23 Likes 1 Share

Re: I'm Torn Between My Ex And New Boyfriend by donziller(m): 6:10am On Mar 09, 2022
The new guy is only there to chop clean mouth, know dis and know peace

27 Likes 1 Share

Re: I'm Torn Between My Ex And New Boyfriend by Nobody: 6:35am On Mar 09, 2022
Stick with the new guy who makes you feel good with memorable moments.

Have sense and avoid your ex since the both of you couldn't naturally blend and get along. It's obvious it was a toxic relationship.

You broke up with your first ex due to distance issues, now you're contemplating on leaving the new guy as you're scared he might go somewhere far from you, which makes me feel you only want someone close that'll be dicking you on a daily basis..

35 Likes 1 Share

Re: I'm Torn Between My Ex And New Boyfriend by CountVersailles(f): 6:36am On Mar 09, 2022
MamiTer:
Hello good people of nairaland, I have a pressing issue and I really need your help.

A couple of years back I broke up with my boyfriend whom I really loved due to distance barriers. Getting over him was difficult for me so I had to go into a relationship with one of my toasters in order to get him off my mind.

I achieved my aim after a couple of months but the current guy was unwilling to let go, I didn't love him and couldn't get myself to love him despite trying to. I know I was selfish and opened up to him but he insisted that I would warm up to him with time and grow to love him.

The relationship was far from perfect, I was in it solely for what I benefited but we weren't compatible and it was from one issue to another. We were always at logger heads all the time. He insults me and my family at any given opportunity and talks down on me using secrets I shared with him as leverage each time we quarrel. He shredded my self-esteem.

He was insecure and attacked my male friends at any given opportunity including my lecturers, he would access my social media accounts and send derogatory message to any male contact he feels is making a pass at me.
All these attitudes made me fed up with him and I decided to breakup for good.

Early this year I met a guy online and somehow we vibed together quickly, we met physically for the first time and it felt like we've known for ages. Everything moved so quickly with this new guy that I started developing serious feelings for him. I was scared because I never knew I would feel something like that again after I broke up with my other ex.

This new guy makes me happy and treats me like a woman, anytime spent with him is always memorable and I don't feel like leaving. The chemistry that we share is super strong and everything seems so perfect.

Now to my issue, this new guy is a fresh graduate and not yet stable, I don't have issues with his financial status because he made me realize a Lady can actually be happy without money being thrown at her. But I'm still scared of going all full into the relationship he might go for service and never come back to me. I don't just want a repeat of my previous relationship that got shattered after my ex relocated.

On the other hand, the other guy is hell bent on getting me back, he's been pleading and sending people to beg me even though I told him I've moved on and has even had sex with the new guy but he still wants me back.

I'm confused and don't know what to do, my heart is with the new guy but the other guy is making things so difficult for me and almost driving me insane. Can I still grow to love him?? Though I've been unable to after almost a year.

Should move on with the new guy?? I've known him for barely two months but it seems I've known him for ages, my feelings are exploding and I can hardly control them which is making me scared.

I'm sorry for the long epistle but I had to let it all out.
Please advice me.
Why would you even be asking to go back to a bully? Don't you care about your self-esteem?

10 Likes 2 Shares

Re: I'm Torn Between My Ex And New Boyfriend by Ajiswaggs(m): 6:40am On Mar 09, 2022
Go back to ur ex boyfriend, he has realized his mistakes and ready to change for good. Don't loose a good man because of little attitudes u can talk to him to change. Believe me no man is perfect out there, you will surely face another issue worser than the previous. Erase the new bf and develop the love for ur current guy.

3 Likes 2 Shares

Re: I'm Torn Between My Ex And New Boyfriend by frozen70(f): 7:00am On Mar 09, 2022
MamiTer:
Hello good people of nairaland, I have a pressing issue and I really need your help.

A couple of years back I broke up with my boyfriend whom I really loved due to distance barriers. Getting over him was difficult for me so I had to go into a relationship with one of my toasters in order to get him off my mind.

I achieved my aim after a couple of months but the current guy was unwilling to let go, I didn't love him and couldn't get myself to love him despite trying to. I know I was selfish and opened up to him but he insisted that I would warm up to him with time and grow to love him.

The relationship was far from perfect, I was in it solely for what I benefited but we weren't compatible and it was from one issue to another. We were always at logger heads all the time. He insults me and my family at any given opportunity and talks down on me using secrets I shared with him as leverage each time we quarrel. He shredded my self-esteem.

He was insecure and attacked my male friends at any given opportunity including my lecturers, he would access my social media accounts and send derogatory message to any male contact he feels is making a pass at me.
All these attitudes made me fed up with him and I decided to breakup for good.

Early this year I met a guy online and somehow we vibed together quickly, we met physically for the first time and it felt like we've known for ages. Everything moved so quickly with this new guy that I started developing serious feelings for him. I was scared because I never knew I would feel something like that again after I broke up with my other ex.

This new guy makes me happy and treats me like a woman, anytime spent with him is always memorable and I don't feel like leaving. The chemistry that we share is super strong and everything seems so perfect.

Now to my issue, this new guy is a fresh graduate and not yet stable, I don't have issues with his financial status because he made me realize a Lady can actually be happy without money being thrown at her. But I'm still scared of going all full into the relationship he might go for service and never come back to me. I don't just want a repeat of my previous relationship that got shattered after my ex relocated.

On the other hand, the other guy is hell bent on getting me back, he's been pleading and sending people to beg me even though I told him I've moved on and has even had sex with the new guy but he still wants me back.

I'm confused and don't know what to do, my heart is with the new guy but the other guy is making things so difficult for me and almost driving me insane. Can I still grow to love him?? Though I've been unable to after almost a year.

Should move on with the new guy?? I've known him for barely two months but it seems I've known him for ages, my feelings are exploding and I can hardly control them which is making me scared.

I'm sorry for the long epistle but I had to let it all out.
Please advice me.

It's possible non of the two guys belongs to you

Your ex is always naughty and doesn't respect you and the worst is that you don't have feelings for him

Your current is going for service and may start another life after the orientation

Just enjoy the moments you guys share together and start looking for a ma who is getting ready to settle down

7 Likes 1 Share

Re: I'm Torn Between My Ex And New Boyfriend by DropsMic(m): 7:34am On Mar 09, 2022
Be like to marry virgin na him sure pass now to avoid all this nonsense drama person dey read for Nairaland

9 Likes

Re: I'm Torn Between My Ex And New Boyfriend by GooodHardDick: 7:56am On Mar 09, 2022
Trash!! Hoes everywhere!

Nigeria girls are so useless, all of them. They're so broke and senseless for my liking. Na why dem dey always use dem for rituals

13 Likes

Re: I'm Torn Between My Ex And New Boyfriend by NaughtyBrainiac: 8:09am On Mar 09, 2022
Hm
Re: I'm Torn Between My Ex And New Boyfriend by hakym619(m): 8:10am On Mar 09, 2022
Abegi
Re: I'm Torn Between My Ex And New Boyfriend by Datikwerreboi(m): 8:10am On Mar 09, 2022
V
Re: I'm Torn Between My Ex And New Boyfriend by kingphilip(m): 8:10am On Mar 09, 2022
Ok torner

My only problem is with the SIMPle immediate ex you've told you don't love who still insist you will and is still begging.

Go work on yourself though. You are not matured enough to be in a relationship

8 Likes

Re: I'm Torn Between My Ex And New Boyfriend by Westloop13: 8:10am On Mar 09, 2022
Hoes are everywhere. Majority of African girls are loyal though. You see those white women? Zero loyalty
Just jamming super gremlin by Kodak Black

1 Like

Re: I'm Torn Between My Ex And New Boyfriend by Havertz10: 8:10am On Mar 09, 2022
The poor guy is just wasting his time, this is why I always tell guys to not accept unnecessary stress, if she doesn't call often, don't call often, give her as she gives you, a lady that gives you too much stress doesn't love you

There is a big difference between being sweet and being stupid

23 Likes

Re: I'm Torn Between My Ex And New Boyfriend by BlackyOne: 8:11am On Mar 09, 2022
You're thinking with your pussy, Keep sharing it!

12 Likes

Re: I'm Torn Between My Ex And New Boyfriend by Osibajo2023: 8:11am On Mar 09, 2022
MamiTer:
Hello good people of nairaland, I have a pressing issue and I really need your help.

A couple of years back I broke up with my boyfriend whom I really loved due to distance barriers. Getting over him was difficult for me so I had to go into a relationship with one of my toasters in order to get him off my mind.

I achieved my aim after a couple of months but the current guy was unwilling to let go, I didn't love him and couldn't get myself to love him despite trying to. I know I was selfish and opened up to him but he insisted that I would warm up to him with time and grow to love him.

The relationship was far from perfect, I was in it solely for what I benefited but we weren't compatible and it was from one issue to another. We were always at logger heads all the time. He insults me and my family at any given opportunity and talks down on me using secrets I shared with him as leverage each time we quarrel. He shredded my self-esteem.

He was insecure and attacked my male friends at any given opportunity including my lecturers, he would access my social media accounts and send derogatory message to any male contact he feels is making a pass at me.
All these attitudes made me fed up with him and I decided to breakup for good.

Early this year I met a guy online and somehow we vibed together quickly, we met physically for the first time and it felt like we've known for ages. Everything moved so quickly with this new guy that I started developing serious feelings for him. I was scared because I never knew I would feel something like that again after I broke up with my other ex.

This new guy makes me happy and treats me like a woman, anytime spent with him is always memorable and I don't feel like leaving. The chemistry that we share is super strong and everything seems so perfect.

Now to my issue, this new guy is a fresh graduate and not yet stable, I don't have issues with his financial status because he made me realize a Lady can actually be happy without money being thrown at her. But I'm still scared of going all full into the relationship he might go for service and never come back to me. I don't just want a repeat of my previous relationship that got shattered after my ex relocated.

On the other hand, the other guy is hell bent on getting me back, he's been pleading and sending people to beg me even though I told him I've moved on and has even had sex with the new guy but he still wants me back.

I'm confused and don't know what to do, my heart is with the new guy but the other guy is making things so difficult for me and almost driving me insane. Can I still grow to love him?? Though I've been unable to after almost a year.

Should move on with the new guy?? I've known him for barely two months but it seems I've known him for ages, my feelings are exploding and I can hardly control them which is making me scared.

I'm sorry for the long epistle but I had to let it all out.
Please advice me.
typical Nigeria girls, always full of options, e no go better for whoever that advise u

6 Likes

Re: I'm Torn Between My Ex And New Boyfriend by November24(f): 8:11am On Mar 09, 2022
MamiTer:
Hello good people of nairaland, I have a pressing issue and I really need your help.

A couple of years back I broke up with my boyfriend whom I really loved due to distance barriers. Getting over him was difficult for me so I had to go into a relationship with one of my toasters in order to get him off my mind.

I achieved my aim after a couple of months but the current guy was unwilling to let go, I didn't love him and couldn't get myself to love him despite trying to. I know I was selfish and opened up to him but he insisted that I would warm up to him with time and grow to love him.

The relationship was far from perfect, I was in it solely for what I benefited but we weren't compatible and it was from one issue to another. We were always at logger heads all the time. He insults me and my family at any given opportunity and talks down on me using secrets I shared with him as leverage each time we quarrel. He shredded my self-esteem.

He was insecure and attacked my male friends at any given opportunity including my lecturers, he would access my social media accounts and send derogatory message to any male contact he feels is making a pass at me.
All these attitudes made me fed up with him and I decided to breakup for good.

Early this year I met a guy online and somehow we vibed together quickly, we met physically for the first time and it felt like we've known for ages. Everything moved so quickly with this new guy that I started developing serious feelings for him. I was scared because I never knew I would feel something like that again after I broke up with my other ex.

This new guy makes me happy and treats me like a woman, anytime spent with him is always memorable and I don't feel like leaving. The chemistry that we share is super strong and everything seems so perfect.

Now to my issue, this new guy is a fresh graduate and not yet stable, I don't have issues with his financial status because he made me realize a Lady can actually be happy without money being thrown at her. But I'm still scared of going all full into the relationship he might go for service and never come back to me. I don't just want a repeat of my previous relationship that got shattered after my ex relocated.

On the other hand, the other guy is hell bent on getting me back, he's been pleading and sending people to beg me even though I told him I've moved on and has even had sex with the new guy but he still wants me back.

I'm confused and don't know what to do, my heart is with the new guy but the other guy is making things so difficult for me and almost driving me insane. Can I still grow to love him?? Though I've been unable to after almost a year.

Should move on with the new guy?? I've known him for barely two months but it seems I've known him for ages, my feelings are exploding and I can hardly control them which is making me scared.

I'm sorry for the long epistle but I had to let it all out.
Please advice me.

You will always have a plan B.
You are not ready for any man now.
And I believe u are just a young child

7 Likes

Re: I'm Torn Between My Ex And New Boyfriend by Legalcriminal: 8:12am On Mar 09, 2022
Go back to him so he can beat sense to your head. Virginal people a really confused

3 Likes

Re: I'm Torn Between My Ex And New Boyfriend by Peace081: 8:12am On Mar 09, 2022
cheesy
Re: I'm Torn Between My Ex And New Boyfriend by Zchi1052(m): 8:12am On Mar 09, 2022
Ww

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