cococandy:


right? You’re spot on.

kaylov12:
So many topics to discuss on this thread but please can we discuss the PUBLIC SCHOOL SYSTEM.

Most Naija parents feel they get quality education cheaply here which mostly is not the case.
I am a secondary school maths teacher and I weep for these children. Lack of motivation, apathy, to mention a few.

Asides creating a safe and enabling environment for students to learn, PUBLIC SCHOOLS IN UK AREN'T ANY DIFFERENT FROM THOSE IN NIGERIA.

Parents need to be more involved in their children's education.

nnenwa5:


Let me cheer you to open one.

Alexgeneration:
You're here to derail this thread with your bitterness masked like goodwill.


Nobody has mentioned any gender bias until you came with your knuckle head. Take your misery outside.

Akorkor:


It is well. I am presently in a flat because I feel is the fastest and cheapest to get as a new comer. Please when can one start looking to buy a house after arriving. Tier2 visa. 1month, 3months or ....

cococandy:
Nne ike adighim

1Sharon:


And when the kids grow up, you all complain that they don't speak their language.

kaylov12:


What works for one person may not work for the other.
Some women like are always say are super women, I don't know how they keep it together.
I work as a full time teacher with 2 kids under 8 as well, but I must confess, it is hard and not cheap. My 2 kids have to attend breakfast and after school club. They both don't eat Oyinbo food so I have to make hot meals everyday.
Schools will call to collect kids when something happens.
If any of them have to stay at home, I automatically have tot stay home as well. Childcare is a full time job on its own.It really is a draconian task to get through everyday.

I have sent SOS message to hubby. I don't know what may happen if I continue like this.

Lilipo:


Interesting!

I disagree with your bolded statement. Its always best to compare like for like instead of making sweeping statements. In my opinion, state schools in UK are way better than public schools in Nigeria. Some state schools in UK may be comparable to some private schools in Nigeria (but not the top private ones).

Note the definitions below
British definition of State school - A school that is funded and controlled by the state and no fees are charged
British definition of Public school - A school, in England and Wales (not Scotland) that is fee charging and is paid for by parents.

What we term 'public' in Nigeria is called 'state' in United Kingdom and what we term 'private' in Nigeria is termed 'public' in England and Wales (not sure of what it is called in Scotland). Context here is SCHOOLS.

Not all state schools in UK are as bad as you have described. There is a reason for OFSTED ratings but I agree that some schools may be below the expected standard. These are due to many reasons eg if you live in an economically deprived area or perhaps where most parents are on benefits among many other reasons.

My advise would be, if you are immigrating with children, consider areas that have good state schools. If you can afford public school, it is well worth the fees.

Lilipo:


Interesting!

I disagree with your bolded statement. Its always best to compare like for like instead of making sweeping statements. In my opinion, state schools in UK are way better than public schools in Nigeria. Some state schools in UK may be comparable to some private schools in Nigeria (but not the top private ones).

Note the definitions below
British definition of State school - A school that is funded and controlled by the state and no fees are charged
British definition of Public school - A school, in England and Wales (not Scotland) that is fee charging and is paid for by parents.

What we term 'public' in Nigeria is called 'state' in United Kingdom and what we term 'private' in Nigeria is termed 'public' in England and Wales (not sure of what it is called in Scotland). Context here is SCHOOLS.

Not all state schools in UK are as bad as you have described. There is a reason for OFSTED ratings but I agree that some schools may be below the expected standard. These are due to many reasons eg if you live in an economically deprived area or perhaps where most parents are on benefits among many other reasons.

My advise would be, if you are immigrating with children, consider areas that have good state schools. If you can afford public school, it is well worth the fees.

fatima04:


Agreed at all you said. One [b]needs to do research [/b]and all properly when choosing schools. It may not be easy for new migrants moving in with older kids and just accepting what the council allocates. But ensure you don't restrict yourself.
it.

Mamatukwas:


I 100% agree. I was obsessed with researching schools for my kids months before we arrived. When we moved here my husband couldn’t understand why I said no to many rentals till I found one in the right catchment. Research is key.

kaylov12:


What is written isn't exactly as it happens behind closed doors believe me.
When it's OFSTED INSPECTION TIME, the whole school run kitikiti and katakata. 100% of the times its not the case.

LagosismyHome:

lol seems your right about it being common with boys o…thank you so much for your input
This crying seems to be more common in boys based on my experience and some of my friends ...but don't worry he would soon turn to a big boy. Maturity will stop the cry. .... my son was like this, and he is part of b/g twin which made it more obvious..... in my head i am like see your age mate does she cry like this . Now at 7 to 8 I am not needing to bring a bucket to catch those tears. It just quietly disappeared with age and time .

ukay2:

Loool…thank you for the reassurance


carry him come joor, my girl the cry too

many of the oyibo children that come to my hospital de cry well well too


every child has the right to cry, but no go de beat him oooo

Bluetherapy:
How do you folks handle keeping the cultural heritage while raising the kids?

It's quite common these days especially amongst Africans that the kids don't understand the local dialect and have little or no connection to their root. The connections most of the adults and teenagers I have met is only Afro music.

If feels like there's a problem looming where the kids might have identity crises with the loss of connectios to home when we are long gone.

LagosismyHome:


A lot of Nigerians grew up with the upbringing, yet a lot of Nigerians are behaving badly now in their adult life, killing is on the rise even using parents for rituals, depression is on the rise so with many things

Meaning how effective was all these nigerian shouting, beating and harsh upbringing. It didn't result in a perfect society

I believe children should be brought with firm hard and guided from small but it not by shouting and or excessive beating

mumzt:


The language this is another issue to unlearn and relearn �

It's not easy honestly. Especially if the parents are from different ethnic groups. I admire the Asians when I hear their kids speak, but incorporating it is a big issue. I don't even remember to speak to them. May God help me

Safeob27:
Hi guys , I might be wrong o but based on research, there are a lot of catholic schools in the Uk and most times they have the best ofsted rating . Is it possible for a non-catholic child to be accepted ? Or its strictly for practicing catholic families

Ticha:



Few things I do:

1. Everyone calls them by their traditional names. They also call themselves by those names as well. At school, they use their first names which are English names but everyone - in-laws, friends, neighbours. They will correct people who pronounce their names wrongly as well which I love.
I enforce the Nigerian respect with a few allowances. So they can't call any adult by name. Some very close friends (very few) are Aunty and Uncle. Everyone else is Mr, Mrs or Miss. They must without fail greet anyone that walks into our home and respond when greeted. I encourage them to refuse body contact as they wish ie hugs, hand shakes.

2. Our night time reading includes books from home. We're currently reading Passport of Mallam Illiya. I talk about the north (which is where I am from), we locate the different places on the map and as I speak Hausa very fluently - I teach them some words in Hausa as well.

3. We have a library full of books from home and other African and African American writers. Their hands down favourite books are the Binti Series by Nnedi Okoroafor and she writes comics too which my husband loves.

4. We eat a wide variety of food and I always link it back to similar foods back home with the proper names and pronunciation.

5. All my work clothes - without exception are made from Ankara and so are their clothes. Luckily they don't wear uniform at their school either.

6. We schedule a 2 weekly video call with my siblings. It lasts for several hours and no, we just don't sit and talk. We do our normal household things as well. It means they have some sort of glimpse into life at home, see their cousins in their own home and space. This weekend's call, my sister was having a small get together so we participated virtually. There was all the greeting, singing, shouting - you know what our gatherings are like

7. I try to find suitable movies to watch - this is bit trickier as majority are not kid friendly at all. So we watch SA movies too.

8. I have very close Nigerians and African friends that share similar values. Luckily for me, I can speak a few Nigerian languages so will often speak Yoruba (by far the largest number of Nigerians I've met abroad), Hausa, Idoma (very rare to find them), Igala with friends we visit.

Little steps - it's not quite enough but we'll get there. We do have plans to go live in 9ja for about 2 years in the future. Of course that totally depends on employment opportunities as I can't imagine living at home and blowing through our savings for 2 whole years!

Safeob27:
Hi guys , I might be wrong o but based on research, there are a lot of catholic schools in the Uk and most times they have the best ofsted rating . Is it possible for a non-catholic child to be accepted ? Or its strictly for practicing catholic families

kaylov12:
So many topics to discuss on this thread but please can we discuss the PUBLIC SCHOOL SYSTEM.

Most Naija parents feel they get quality education cheaply here which mostly is not the case.
I am a secondary school maths teacher and I weep for these children. Lack of motivation, apathy, to mention a few.

Asides creating a safe and enabling environment for students to learn, PUBLIC SCHOOLS IN UK AREN'T ANY DIFFERENT FROM THOSE IN NIGERIA.

Parents need to be more involved in their children's education.

Safeob27:
Hi guys , I might be wrong o but based on research, there are a lot of catholic schools in the Uk and most times they have the best ofsted rating . Is it possible for a non-catholic child to be accepted ? Or its strictly for practicing catholic families

Ticha:


I don't speak my language at home because my husband is not Nigerian and of course does not understand the language. However, they all understand certain words and whenever I switch, my children sit up and take notice cos e mean say I don vex

My children are also mixed race so there's the knowing their culture from my perspective, their culture from their father's perspective and their culture as mixed British children who will probably be classed as black British especially my twin 1. Because we now also live in a completely different country temporarily, they're firmly third culture kids!

Few things I do:

1. Everyone calls them by their traditional names. They also call themselves by those names as well. At school, they use their first names which are English names but everyone - in-laws, friends, neighbours. They will correct people who pronounce their names wrongly as well which I love.
I enforce the Nigerian respect with a few allowances. So they can't call any adult by name. Some very close friends (very few) are Aunty and Uncle. Everyone else is Mr, Mrs or Miss. They must without fail greet anyone that walks into our home and respond when greeted. I encourage them to refuse body contact as they wish ie hugs, hand shakes.

2. Our night time reading includes books from home. We're currently reading Passport of Mallam Illiya. I talk about the north (which is where I am from), we locate the different places on the map and as I speak Hausa very fluently - I teach them some words in Hausa as well.

3. We have a library full of books from home and other African and African American writers. Their hands down favourite books are the Binti Series by Nnedi Okoroafor and she writes comics too which my husband loves.

4. We eat a wide variety of food and I always link it back to similar foods back home with the proper names and pronunciation.

5. All my work clothes - without exception are made from Ankara and so are their clothes. Luckily they don't wear uniform at their school either.

6. We schedule a 2 weekly video call with my siblings. It lasts for several hours and no, we just don't sit and talk. We do our normal household things as well. It means they have some sort of glimpse into life at home, see their cousins in their own home and space. This weekend's call, my sister was having a small get together so we participated virtually. There was all the greeting, singing, shouting - you know what our gatherings are like

7. I try to find suitable movies to watch - this is bit trickier as majority are not kid friendly at all. So we watch SA movies too.

8. I have very close Nigerians and African friends that share similar values. Luckily for me, I can speak a few Nigerian languages so will often speak Yoruba (by far the largest number of Nigerians I've met abroad), Hausa, Idoma (very rare to find them), Igala with friends we visit.

Little steps - it's not quite enough but we'll get there. We do have plans to go live in 9ja for about 2 years in the future. Of course that totally depends on employment opportunities as I can't imagine living at home and blowing through our savings for 2 whole years!

obitryce:


My kids attend a Catholic school within my area and during the admission process there was never a time the issue of being a Catholic or not came up. In fact my second son turned 3 on the 1st of March and just started school on the 7th of March. Same Catholic school.

babythug:


I’ve never met a northerner married to a foreigner!!!!!