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Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Family / So Unfair To Women (3281 Views)
Life Can Be So Unfair / Life Has Been Unfair To Me / Life Is So Unfair (2) (3) (4)
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Re: So Unfair To Women by Kobojunkie: 6:42pm On Mar 11, 2022 |
JONNYSPUTE:So you were not trained by your mother?, |
Re: So Unfair To Women by MrBrownJay1(m): 6:46pm On Mar 11, 2022 |
Stargurl20: A) not all men believe that cheating is right (i dont) B) cheating men are not the problem with Nigerian society and/or NL... and even if it was, they dont cheat with other men, do they?! who are these women that gladly lay with these married/dating men?! are they not part of the problem at hand or should we solely blame men for this issue? C) as we all know that polygamy is rampant in Nigeria, dont you think that Nigerian society has a part to play in this? D) when mothers raise their daughter to believe that their MAIN FOCUS IN LIFE is to get married, dont you think that it will create an atmosphere where women will view marriage as a do or die, thus doing insane whatever to bag a man (even sleeping with married/dating men)?! E) when sons see their fathers marrying multiple women and treating them like garbage, do you think that these same sons will grow up to value women (especially when NIGERIAN SOCIETY itself doesnt value women)?! 1 Like |
Re: So Unfair To Women by Stargurl20(f): 6:58pm On Mar 11, 2022 |
MrBrownJay1: I wish voice note could be use here. I'm not saying all men think cheating is right. I'm worried about those who do it and still expect women to put up with their shits like nothing happened as well as bragging it's their right to cheat. I'm neither encouraging polygamy . I'm a lady my self and wouldn't like to share a man ' I truly love' with any woman. But it's time women especially Nigerian women woke up and accept reality. You can hardly see a man even the man with the best wife who would stick to a woman especially if he's Muslim. As much as I don't desire polygyny, which I know most women who also love their husbands wouldn't wish for, but do we always get what we want? No! So, my point is rather than cheating and infecting their wives as well as causing them pain, they should rather follow the legal way if they can be just 1 Like |
Re: So Unfair To Women by Kobojunkie: 7:02pm On Mar 11, 2022 |
Stargurl20:So you are invariably saying as much as you are against polygamy, you will settle for it this because you have chosen to see it as the reality available to you as a woman? Understand that if women didn't submit to polygamy or settle for it, men wouldn't have any other option, but to stick to having one partner at a time or face repercussions. 1 Like |
Re: So Unfair To Women by JONNYSPUTE(m): 7:10pm On Mar 11, 2022 |
Kobojunkie:...Did you understand my question? |
Re: So Unfair To Women by MrBrownJay1(m): 7:10pm On Mar 11, 2022 |
Stargurl20: the problem with the above is not these men who think the way they do, its women who gladly go along to this nonsense. if there was no woman for these men to cheat with, dont you think that they would face their wives/GFs and fully focus on them?!? eventually, the important question IS: why should we care about what cheating men do?! isnt it their lives? shouldnt they have the right to do what they please (even though we may believe it is wrong)?! I'm neither encouraging polygamy either. I'm a lady my self and wouldn't like to share a man ' I truly love' with any woman. But it's time women especially Nigerian women woke up and accept reality. now that is the main issue... You can hardly see a man even the man with the best wife who would stick to a woman especially if he's Muslim. As much as I don't desire polygyny, which I know most women who also love their husbands wouldn't wish for, but do we always get what we want? No! too many women out there are desperate for a man, thus you cant stop polygamy....it is part f the African culture and aint about to go. now ask yourself this simple math question: is one apple better than two?! as much as i dont wish to have multiple wives, many men are greedy and would rather have two than one, just like no matter how many toys you give a child, he always wants one more! |
Re: So Unfair To Women by Kobojunkie: 7:10pm On Mar 11, 2022 |
JONNYSPUTE:It's in helping me understand your question that I had to ask my own question there. 1 Like |
Re: So Unfair To Women by JONNYSPUTE(m): 7:23pm On Mar 11, 2022 |
Kobojunkie:..I rest my case |
Re: So Unfair To Women by Stargurl20(f): 7:48pm On Mar 11, 2022 |
Kobojunkie:It's what my lord has permitted for men 'provided they can be just' who am I to go against my lord? Nothing! |
Re: So Unfair To Women by Kobojunkie: 7:54pm On Mar 11, 2022 |
Stargurl20:You should probably only stick to debating these things within the confines of your belief so you don't sound like a walking contradiction or something. You had earlier stated that as a woman you would rather not share a man you love with another woman so that led me to believe you didn't agree with the idea of women sharing their men with other women. That got me confused as to why you would then settle for what you don't like. Most women have a choice to reject polygamy as these rules were put in place by men to satisfy their greed. And the major reason why such things happen to thrive in our society is because women submit to such inane ideas because they have themselves been convinced that it is their lot or their best option. History has however proven time and time again that that isn't the case at all. 3 Likes |
Re: So Unfair To Women by MrBrownJay1(m): 8:05pm On Mar 11, 2022 |
Kobojunkie: exactly... |
Re: So Unfair To Women by AmazonTopaz(f): 9:23pm On Mar 11, 2022 |
Stargurl20: When people tell me that there is no inequality, sexism or misogyny in Nigeria I just show them Nairaland. The average Nairaland male is a representative of the broader Nigerian males and how they reason and that is very shameful 4 Likes 3 Shares |
Re: So Unfair To Women by AmazonTopaz(f): 9:25pm On Mar 11, 2022 |
Stargurl20: Exactly and women have just been taught to be discreet about it. Why do you think that FGM is still practiced because of the false belief that some misguided adults can control a woman's sexual urge. 4 Likes 1 Share |
Re: So Unfair To Women by Kobojunkie: 9:30pm On Mar 11, 2022 |
AmazonTopaz:FGM, yet another reason why mothers need to have a conversation about the direction, and future for their children. The reason these evils persist is woman allow them. 2 Likes 1 Share |
Re: So Unfair To Women by BRATISLAVA: 9:50pm On Mar 11, 2022 |
Stargurl20: The average Nigerian man doesn't see training his children as his job. But if they turn out well, he will claim them as his. His job is to cheat, demand respect, act egomaniacal and generally irrational to prove he is indeed a man. His example to his children is negligence, anger, pride and insolence. Afterwards he will say the woman didn't train them right. She did. But what is lacking is any training whatsoever from their fathers. And that is why Nigerian men are largely dysfunctional. They never had a good example. 6 Likes 3 Shares |
Re: So Unfair To Women by Stargurl20(f): 9:50pm On Mar 11, 2022 |
AmazonTopaz:Really shameful 1 Like |
Re: So Unfair To Women by Stargurl20(f): 9:52pm On Mar 11, 2022 |
AmazonTopaz:Lol ... Even females who are genitally mutilated still have urges and find sex pleasurable when they meet a man with good skills. |
Re: So Unfair To Women by Stargurl20(f): 9:58pm On Mar 11, 2022 |
BRATISLAVA: Infact, my family is living example of this. My brother did something so painful to my mom one day and my mum was calling my dad to at least man handle him coz he doesn't fear my mum anymore and despite the fact that my dad doesn't discipline him , he still dreads my dad ( u know na as per man wey him be). Could u believe that my dad couldn't even utter a single word to scold the boy and my mum started crying that my bro himself should take a look, that if he become someone in future that my dad will be the first to brag but God forbid if the reverse is the case, he will even deny he is his father. |
Re: So Unfair To Women by Kobojunkie: 10:01pm On Mar 11, 2022 |
BRATISLAVA:Mothers need to train their kids to recognize these traits for what they really are, even at that. |
Re: So Unfair To Women by Kobojunkie: 10:02pm On Mar 11, 2022 |
Stargurl20:The more important point is that these mutilations are unnecessary. |
Re: So Unfair To Women by Stargurl20(f): 10:19pm On Mar 11, 2022 |
Kobojunkie: Hm... The histories I've read so far, shows that women were left with no option. Moreover, some men wouldn't even inform their wives they will be practicing polygyny. But end up marrying another leaving the wives with no option |
Re: So Unfair To Women by Kobojunkie: 10:30pm On Mar 11, 2022 |
Stargurl20:1. Women have always had choices. 2. The woman whose husband marries another woman without her consent has options. She can chose to remain a third wheel/abandoned wife in the union of she can divorce the man for breaching the marriage agreement. In the case that the man and woman had been married under the court system(monogamy only allowed), not only can she divorce the man but also charge him for violating the terms of their marriage. Marriage has never been mandatory.... and for those who venture into it, there are options. |
Re: So Unfair To Women by Stargurl20(f): 10:31pm On Mar 11, 2022 |
Kobojunkie:And what about the society |
Re: So Unfair To Women by Kobojunkie: 10:32pm On Mar 11, 2022 |
Stargurl20:I don't follow. |
Re: So Unfair To Women by Stargurl20(f): 10:35pm On Mar 11, 2022 |
Kobojunkie:They cannot be completely ignore. We live in the society. So to an extent, their opinions matters. |
Re: So Unfair To Women by AmazonTopaz(f): 10:37pm On Mar 11, 2022 |
Stargurl20: Right, and the ignorance of these people says a lot. With more advocacy hopefully FGM becomes a thing of the past. |
Re: So Unfair To Women by Kobojunkie: 10:38pm On Mar 11, 2022 |
Stargurl20:Society's view is made up of the opinions of the majority of its people. In the case of Nigeria, Society's view is based on the views of the foolish majority. Why in the world would any sane individual chose to submit to such foolishness to begin with? Are you blind to the realities of such foolishness? |
Re: So Unfair To Women by AmazonTopaz(f): 10:40pm On Mar 11, 2022 |
Kobojunkie: Sadly you are right the disadvantages of patriarchy still exist today because some women are the upholders of the patriarchy. I call the patriarchy princesses they enjoy putting another woman down to please a P**nis. Women need to do more for each other and support one another and stop competing with ourselves and becoming our enemies. 1 Like 1 Share |
Re: So Unfair To Women by Stargurl20(f): 10:49pm On Mar 11, 2022 |
AmazonTopaz:Yes o... 1 Like |
Re: So Unfair To Women by Stargurl20(f): 10:52pm On Mar 11, 2022 |
Kobojunkie:Are u a male or a female. I initially guessed u are a male. Seeing a male standing with truth for women on this platform, is more like a dream that cannot materialize. All I know males on this platform for is to bully women even when they are the ones who have wronged women 1 Like |
Re: So Unfair To Women by Kobojunkie: 10:55pm On Mar 11, 2022 |
Stargurl20:I stand for commonsense aka Wisdom, and commonsense is it is deleterious to bow to foolishness. In Nigeria's case, the foolishness of the many generations before ours is what we are still struggling to pull society and self out of even to this day. Why would anyone, knowing this, wish to continue perpetrating the same foolishness? Women are bullied both here on nairaland, and in Nigeria daily by men - society upholds that bullying mind you. So, women themselves need to step up and begin making choices to curb the powers that these bullies continue to exercise over them. Doesn't that seem the logical way forward or are women not done suffering? 1 Like 1 Share |
Re: So Unfair To Women by Stargurl20(f): 10:57pm On Mar 11, 2022 |
Kobojunkie:Lol .. you're right. Pls, answer my question |
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