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Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Family / My 29-Year-Old Son Still Wants Me To Be Feeding Him After Graduating (46105 Views)
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My 29-Year-Old Son Still Wants Me To Be Feeding Him After Graduating by Desusi: 6:52pm On Mar 12, 2022 |
Naira landers, kindly advise me on what to do. l am over 60 years old, a widower. By the grace of God, l was blessed with three children of which two are graduates with good grades from reputable universities here in Nigeria, one is still undergraduate before the departure of my late wife some years back. As a retired man with meager money, I decided to manage a little business which barely gives me much money. One of these my children, a professional, though not teacher, is currently residing with me doing teaching job in different places as part time, pending when he would get a much better job. We are living in my personal house. l would single handedly pay electricity bills, lawnman, etc. My son would not want to help in any way, not even with pure water of #10 claiming that he is with his father. Efforts to convince him to assist me is not yielding positive result, instead he would pick quarrels with me. His senior sister has married, while the junior brother is still in the school as dependant, what sort of counseling do you think he needs to change. I am afraid even if this boy owns shop rite in future, he would not help either. 194 Likes 18 Shares |
Re: My 29-Year-Old Son Still Wants Me To Be Feeding Him After Graduating by Totilopussylick(m): 6:53pm On Mar 12, 2022 |
I recommend you send him to a barbing school 43 Likes 2 Shares |
Re: My 29-Year-Old Son Still Wants Me To Be Feeding Him After Graduating by JONNYSPUTE(m): 6:55pm On Mar 12, 2022 |
I don't even know what to say but to start with. How was he raised? I mean,was he having everything at his will when growing up? 217 Likes 10 Shares |
Re: My 29-Year-Old Son Still Wants Me To Be Feeding Him After Graduating by Golan007: 7:00pm On Mar 12, 2022 |
Eject him from the home. 107 Likes 5 Shares |
Re: My 29-Year-Old Son Still Wants Me To Be Feeding Him After Graduating by Flexherbal(m): 7:03pm On Mar 12, 2022 |
This is something you both need to sit down and have a mature conversation about. He needs a change of mindset. Last as long as you like. 23 Likes 3 Shares |
Re: My 29-Year-Old Son Still Wants Me To Be Feeding Him After Graduating by JONNYSPUTE(m): 7:03pm On Mar 12, 2022 |
Golan007:...Lol You think is easy? 85 Likes 1 Share |
Re: My 29-Year-Old Son Still Wants Me To Be Feeding Him After Graduating by illicit(m): 7:08pm On Mar 12, 2022 |
Free him Na body go tell am 7 Likes |
Re: My 29-Year-Old Son Still Wants Me To Be Feeding Him After Graduating by Mooh247: 7:10pm On Mar 12, 2022 |
See wetin bad economy cause You can't repay your father for raising you, you are still taking from him even at retirement That's a crime Use the method my mum used on us.. Note ; she is a retired Federal Government worker with my dad and they both earn good money from pension and house rent Call all your children to have a serious conversation early in the morning... Mandate each and everyone of them to take care of a certain bill or give you a certain amount every month so as to receive your true blessing while you're still alive Start with little commitments for them *filling of cooking gas *service and fueling of Generators *buying of pure water bags and water dispenser refill *even your kid in school can afford to buy bread or live chcken every time he comes home if you mandate him to do so *3k monthly subscription of internet or DSTV . 388 Likes 23 Shares |
Re: My 29-Year-Old Son Still Wants Me To Be Feeding Him After Graduating by shawante(m): 7:10pm On Mar 12, 2022 |
You don't want your son to enjoy you now that you're alive abi? 24 Likes 10 Shares |
Re: My 29-Year-Old Son Still Wants Me To Be Feeding Him After Graduating by Golan007: 7:11pm On Mar 12, 2022 |
JONNYSPUTE: After graduation, a man should leave his father's house. 69 Likes 1 Share |
Re: My 29-Year-Old Son Still Wants Me To Be Feeding Him After Graduating by Malory: 7:13pm On Mar 12, 2022 |
Golan007:Shatap 169 Likes 9 Shares |
Re: My 29-Year-Old Son Still Wants Me To Be Feeding Him After Graduating by JONNYSPUTE(m): 7:14pm On Mar 12, 2022 |
Golan007:...You right about that.My question was. Do you think is easy for the man to eject him? 14 Likes 2 Shares |
Re: My 29-Year-Old Son Still Wants Me To Be Feeding Him After Graduating by Kobojunkie: 7:15pm On Mar 12, 2022 |
Flexherbal:Desusi, your son is a grown man and you and he can, as suggested here, have a grown up conversation about such things. If you don't know how, watch some American family movies to get you an idea of what you can do. 8 Likes 1 Share |
Re: My 29-Year-Old Son Still Wants Me To Be Feeding Him After Graduating by Beremx(f): 7:22pm On Mar 12, 2022 |
The current situation of the country made him to still be living under your roof. Don’t frustrate him and make him misbehave. He’s still a good boy unlike some sons who are jobless and shameless. Give him more time to look for a better job and let him move on 179 Likes 8 Shares |
Re: My 29-Year-Old Son Still Wants Me To Be Feeding Him After Graduating by Golan007: 7:22pm On Mar 12, 2022 |
37 Likes 2 Shares |
Re: My 29-Year-Old Son Still Wants Me To Be Feeding Him After Graduating by Golan007: 7:23pm On Mar 12, 2022 |
JONNYSPUTE: Yes. His son is a roommate that isn't contributing. Needs to be ejected. 12 Likes 1 Share |
Re: My 29-Year-Old Son Still Wants Me To Be Feeding Him After Graduating by faithfull18(f): 7:44pm On Mar 12, 2022 |
Hmmn, at that age, he should have a sense of responsibility even for late bloomers. You have to sit him down sir and talk to him. No matter how small, he should contribute. 42 Likes 3 Shares |
Re: My 29-Year-Old Son Still Wants Me To Be Feeding Him After Graduating by NoToPile: 7:48pm On Mar 12, 2022 |
Since he has a small job he should at least do something, even if it's buying pure water for the house. I understand your Concerns sir. 29 Likes 1 Share |
Re: My 29-Year-Old Son Still Wants Me To Be Feeding Him After Graduating by Naijanascam: 7:55pm On Mar 12, 2022 |
Don't even think about him anymore.....live your life to the fullest Sir...if he can't reason well sale off the house and use the money to maintain yourself to live longer because that's the first thing he will sale immediately you die.... 18 Likes 5 Shares |
Re: My 29-Year-Old Son Still Wants Me To Be Feeding Him After Graduating by Desusi: 8:02pm On Mar 12, 2022 |
Mooh247: Thanks for your fantastic advice! How l wish he would read this and complied. I will try your suggestions too. 22 Likes 4 Shares |
Re: My 29-Year-Old Son Still Wants Me To Be Feeding Him After Graduating by Desusi: 8:10pm On Mar 12, 2022 |
Kobojunkie:l will see to that too.Thank you my brother. 4 Likes 1 Share |
Re: My 29-Year-Old Son Still Wants Me To Be Feeding Him After Graduating by Desusi: 8:12pm On Mar 12, 2022 |
Beremx: OK. 1 Like |
Re: My 29-Year-Old Son Still Wants Me To Be Feeding Him After Graduating by Richy4(m): 8:19pm On Mar 12, 2022 |
Sir, u have done your part wonderfully well... Since he is earning, use your church mind to calculate how much his take home is...Write a love note, stating what you want him to contribute clearly.... Since it's gonna cause a misunderstanding, put it in writing by telling him to contribute towards the upkeep... Example.. <<< Monthly electricity Bill... # 7000 <<<Saturday Lawn mowing... # 1000 or u mow the lawn by yourself.. <<< Food.. since I am your father, I will provide that.. <<< Water rates... #5000 <<< General house cleaning...#6000 Conclude by saying....Son, I want you to read this carefully.. U will only approach me over this subject matter if u want to negotiate only... But if u can not help me your father, Your certificate is enough to get u any where u want in the world... I want you to leave my house first week after Easter holidays... Oga please type it... So that he will know that you are serious...do not right with pen... Print your own copy as well just incase he wants to negotiate... It's called tough love... I believe anywhere he will be, he will pay rent and bills? Haba!!! 69 Likes 3 Shares |
Re: My 29-Year-Old Son Still Wants Me To Be Feeding Him After Graduating by tensazangetsu20(m): 8:35pm On Mar 12, 2022 |
So long as you made the selfish decision to have children, you are completely responsible for them till you die. As if they are sharing high paying jobs in Nigeria. 40 Likes 5 Shares |
Re: My 29-Year-Old Son Still Wants Me To Be Feeding Him After Graduating by Flexherbal(m): 8:43pm On Mar 12, 2022 |
Kobojunkie: Gbam |
Re: My 29-Year-Old Son Still Wants Me To Be Feeding Him After Graduating by udomonday: 8:45pm On Mar 12, 2022 |
Naijanascam:the son might even kill him one day in other to inherit the house.I have seen cases like that. 4 Likes |
Re: My 29-Year-Old Son Still Wants Me To Be Feeding Him After Graduating by Desusi: 8:50pm On Mar 12, 2022 |
Richy4:Your suggestions are superb.It means there are cool headed Nigerians who can see things on ones side like this. Great thanks. I will work on this too.Advice is a second mother to a child. 19 Likes |
Re: My 29-Year-Old Son Still Wants Me To Be Feeding Him After Graduating by Acidosis(m): 8:51pm On Mar 12, 2022 |
At 29, it is too late to train or teach him the tenets of giving. Children don't learn the act of giving and compassion at old age. To get anything from him at this stage of his life, you need to be manipulative and intentional. You also need to ask yourself if you've been showing and practising the act of giving in his presence. 27 Likes 3 Shares |
Re: My 29-Year-Old Son Still Wants Me To Be Feeding Him After Graduating by Kobojunkie: 8:56pm On Mar 12, 2022 |
Acidosis:That's not true abeg! So long as he lives as home, he can still learn from his father how to live with a roommate contributing his share to the bills and all. He can learn how it is not too much to do chores and run errands so that when he eventually leaves and has roommates of his own, or maybe gets married, these things won't be a big deal to him.. After the last recession here that forced many adults to move back home, many eventually wrote of how they learnt during that time, how to live with roommates and contribute unselfishly to the upkeep of home and family. Many of those writeups are stil online. 6 Likes |
Re: My 29-Year-Old Son Still Wants Me To Be Feeding Him After Graduating by Desusi: 8:57pm On Mar 12, 2022 |
udomonday: Wow! Great heavens,have mercy. 2 Likes 2 Shares |
Re: My 29-Year-Old Son Still Wants Me To Be Feeding Him After Graduating by Tina001(f): 9:05pm On Mar 12, 2022 |
tensazangetsu20: If not for anything, at least respect his age. See the way u talking to a 60years old man. Must you display your lack of home training I blame social media 130 Likes 7 Shares |
Re: My 29-Year-Old Son Still Wants Me To Be Feeding Him After Graduating by Acidosis(m): 9:06pm On Mar 12, 2022 |
Kobojunkie: I hope you know that this issue is beyond contributing as in the case of two roommates? That's why I mentioned the use of manipulative tricks to get money from him. As far as compassion between a father and his son is concerned, I don't see a solution. 1 Like |
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