Most Polygamous homes = Unhealthy Rivalry, Envy, jealousy, witchcraft activities, be-witchments, charms /voodoo practices, wife's / children bewitching one another and in some cases the Man is also bewitched or killed to inherit his property

gabbytabby:
At a point even with 6wives/baby mamas and 16 children some were asking if them no fit find old people’s home for 9ja for am. Na beg I beg them oh.

My Dad too was tired and for the first time wanted to travel back with me hence the trip to Canada in 2001 to give everyone a break. Even my doctor in Canada said he was too frail to travel. It was the last time I saw him alive and I am always thankful that we had that time together and when he went back he was more the father I know and so different from when he landed. Alhamdullilai.

I cried ( he was so frail) when I met him at Heathrow to process Canada visa as they closed their offices in Lagos. He walked out without his bags thinking he will get the same treatment he got in 9ja with someone sorting out all his luggage.

I'm glad you did right by your Dad.

Not all children are that merciful.

gabbytabby:
If you breed loyalty tendency is that you are likely to get loyalty. More of our men need to stop living a selfish life.

Much as I love my dad, I was not blind to his faults.

Please teach your kids the lessons you learnt from your experience so the next generation do not continue to repeat the mistakes of their fathers before them.

No one is perfect and he really was a good man ( better than most) and sent us to school so......

It could not have been easy for him as he did achieve a lot by time he was 40 and the women were chasing him, one in particular was even chasing him into his family home

Tall and handsome too.

AngelicBeing:
Most Polygamous homes = Unhealthy Rivalry, Envy, jealousy, witchcraft activities, be-witchments, charms /voodoo practices, wife's / children bewitching one another and in some cases the Man is also bewitched or killed to inherit his property

Not a good environment to raise children. Often times really toxic. Even when nothing and nobody is chasing anybody. Nobody dies a natural death someone must have killed him or her.

When I was in the UK a half sibling called me to say their mum is around and they want to come and visit. Apparently the mother said I might want to harm them but still with husband, grandma and 2 children in tow they came and I had to witness the elder child saying to the younger that their dad said that he will buy Pizza for them when they get home if they do not accept any food from me. This is after inviting themselves to my home oh.

I was going to Canada once and wanted to spend a day in New York lodging at a hotel oh and called up my half sibling and apparently her mother ( same Alhaja above) told her that my intention is to come and kill her and for her not to meet up with me. She did come and was fed at the mall by me but I got this thrown in my face years later. Apparently she says she is the only bonafide child and we are all bastards.

The level of toxicity is out of this world.

mufutau55:
I also came from a polygamy family. I left all the inheritance to my sibblings because I was the head of the family and I dont need it... others were still fighting for it now since 2001. Thank God I choose to marry only one wife, because of my experiences from polygamy wahala.
We all have stories. I come in peace o.

Hajji M.

na foooishman go still d cause problems for him generation in d name of polygamy

Yeecar:
The man ought to have put his house in order before his demise. Was there no WILL at all?

.. ;Dmost men never put their house in other,they assume there is still enough time while they are busy creating more mess , they will not be alive to clean up.

stacyadams:
na foooishman go still d cause problems for him generation in d name of polygamy

Yes o. Especially in this our modern life.
Who want wahala now or after his death, all in the name of sex o. One good wife is enough jare.

Hajji M.

Some I think 2 still ended up with more than one wife. Some learn others don’t.

mufutau55:


Yes o. Especially in this our modern life.
Who want wahala now or after his death, all in the name of sex o. One good wife is enough jare.

Hajji M.

For years a ghost called self has been making withdrawals from the family bank account.( probably in collusion with a fraudulent bank staff at UBA Ojuelegba). Apparently the bank signatories don’t know how to write letter to query it they are waiting on me to help them draft a letter

Now they claim to be sick when you ask them to provide a statement of family bank account almost a year now.

Apparently when they go home and catch her unawares she is playing with children and all normal but then start to act sick when they have a family zoom meeting. This non self respecting clown is about 57, 58 years old.

Saintmary:
Wow. This story is too familiar.

I still place the fault at the feet of Alhaji.

If you're a polygamous person, don't wait until old age before putting your affairs in order.

And if you cannot trust your father's discretion, or you're in a polygamous setting, or you don't know how many kids your dad has fathered outside, don't wait for his properties. Travel far and make your own life there. Staying close will bring painful memories and distract your plans.

God bless you immensely. **My philosophy***

There's nothing I hate more than polygamy. This exactly is what's happening in my mom's family for many years now. They still couldn't find a way to share the properties equally.

All the farmlands have been looted and secretly sold constantly.

I already told my mom not to get herself immersed in the tussle, but sadly she's in it. I've warned her that I'm not gonna feel pity for her should anything happens. She should bear the consequences.

I am currently just chillaxing since April left WhatsApp and don’t attend zoom meetings.

The major task has been accomplished and no one is waiting to receive any pittance after they have stolen it all during the year.

Provided they provide statement of account from time to time, use money from sale of Abesan flat for designated purpose and continue a progressive repairs programme then no problems.

Otherwise I will be back pointing and loading. Me I no send.

I just read the lulu Briggs story that you wrote of imagine holding up the burial of their father from December 2018 when he died until March 2021 all because of inheritance wahala.

See money and there is clearly enough to go round but still the greedy ones will still not want to let things be.

He appeared to also have settled the elder sons during his lifetime but still the problems persist.

At least there is something to fight over with the Lulu-Briggs in our own case for me, there is nothing there. Personally I get more than double the whole rental income.

Saintmary:
Lots of people assume that they can control other people's will (right to decide what to fight for) by holding money over their heads.

I laugh.

If you want to play with people's lives by marrying several wives and other concubines, whatever happens to you in old age, and your properties and legacy after death is entirely your fault.

Ask the Lulu-Briggs.

gabbytabby:
I just read the lulu Briggs story that you wrote of imagine holding up the burial of their father from December 2018 when he died until March 2021 all because of inheritance wahala.

See money and there is clearly enough to go round but still the greedy ones will still not want to let things be.

He appeared to also have settled the elder sons during his lifetime but still the problems persist.

At least there is something to fight over with the Lulu-Briggs in our own case for me, there is nothing there. Personally I get more than double the whole rental income.

I'm happy you did your research.

The primary tool that a parent owes their children is the best education they can afford which then becomes their own tool to navigate this world including make their own money.

If a parent desires to support a child then do it when it is meaningful. Mid 30’s is a good time because by then they have demonstrated what they are capable of and you know if you can entrust them with something significant. Also it allows them to be their own person instead of a puppet waiting for someone to die.

Unfortunately a lot of men with money see their money as their power and always seek to use it to keep people around them in line and at their beck and call forgetting that the child of a lion is also a lion. The natural law of family love and loyalty will always keep them close to you even when they are out in the forest hunting for themselves. Puppets will not keep your legacy intact.

gabbytabby:
1.The primary tool that a parent owes their children is the best education they can afford which then becomes their own tool to navigate this world including make their own money.

2. If a parent desires to support a child then do it when it is meaningful. Mid 30’s is a good time because by then they have demonstrated what they are capable of and you know if you can entrust them with something significant. Also it allows them to be their own person instead of a puppet waiting for someone to die.

Unfortunately a lot of men with money see their money as their power and always seek to use it to keep people around them in line and at their beck and call forgetting that the child of a lion is also a lion. The natural law of family love and loyalty will always keep them close to you even when they are out in the forest hunting for themselves. Puppets will not keep your legacy intact.

1. But education, is nothing but a tool, and not a job or source of livelihood. A hoe without a farm or garden soil to till is still nothing but a tool.

Parents, especially in a place like Nigeria, are supposed to have a future of some sort waiting for their kids. Imagine the case of a poor man who had children with no assurance of a real future waiting for them - that is how Nigeria got to where it is today , a country where there are so many more youths than there are jobs available to accommodate them.

2. Parents ought to support their kids until they are able to take flight on their own.

Education is only but a too I agree but today’s reality requires that youths start to think differently not look for a job but create an income source for yourself and even be an employer.

Have/acquire several skill sets, securing employment should be one of the options on your table not the only option, think outside the box and for those whose parents have some muller to help finance a project, impress them by putting together a feasibility on what your plans are and how you intend to get from plan a to b instead of expecting to be looked after until you get a job.

b

Kobojunkie:
1. But education, is nothing but a tool, and not a job or source of livelihood. A hoe without a farm or garden soil to till is still nothing but a tool.

Parents, especially in a place like Nigeria, are supposed to have a future of some sort waiting for their kids. Imagine the case of a poor man who had children with no assurance of a real future waiting for them - that is how Nigeria got to where it is today , a country where there are so many more youths than there are jobs available to accommodate them.

2. Parents ought to support their kids until they are able to take flight on their own.

gabbytabby:
Education is only but a too I agree but today’s reality requires that youths start to think differently not look for a job but create an income source for yourself and even be an employer.

Have/acquire several skill sets, securing employment should be one of the options on your table not the only option, think outside the box and for those whose parents have some muller to help finance a project, impress them by putting together a feasibility on what your plans are and how you intend to get from plan a to b instead of expecting to be looked after until you get a job.

It is so easy to sit removed from reality of things, saying a lot of these though. When you hit the real streets of anywhere, especially Nigeria, you find it is not so easily defined for all.

How do you acquire skills you barely have enough to pay for even your meals. Securing employment should be one option on the table for someone who has and owns nothing, not even adequate skills to start anything of his own? .... Parents are meant to first make sure they have a future to offer their kids before having them abeg.

What do u mean by a future, if education does Not qualify ? A property? a business? It still depends on the child.. Some will squander it all in a jiffy..

Kobojunkie:
It is so easy to sit removed from reality of things, saying a lot of these though. When you hit the real streets of anywhere, especially Nigeria, you find it is not so easily defined for all.

How do you acquire skills you barely have enough to pay for even your meals. Securing employment should be one option on the table for someone who has and owns nothing, not even adequate skills to start anything of his own? .... Parents are meant to first make sure they have a future to offer their kids before having them abeg.

Miarose:
What do u mean by a future, if education does Not qualify ? A property? a business? It still depends on the child.. Some will squander it all in a jiffy..

If a child has been given a figure and the child squanders it at that point, then that is wholly the child's issue. However, it remains the responsibility of parents to provide the child that future.

Consider the ways or those we call rich men. They build businesses and have kids to fill position in those businesses - that is how I believe it really ought to be. Be fruitful first, then multiply!

My general advice if one finds him or herself born into a polygamous family where there is rivalry between the wives (most) provided your father at least is happy to educate, get the best education you can because often times that will be your inheritance.

Unfortunately it’s a survival of the fittest so if you are naturally gifted academically you sail through but if not often times you go and learn a trade.

If you want to get ahead in life, as soon as possible move away and build you life away from prying eyes. Most polygamous homes are known for wanting to protect their children from enemies often within whether real or imaginary so they will put gbere( small blade incision on their children with native protection) but often times, the best protection is to maintain a reasonably safe distance and pray that out of sight is out of mind.

Some are showing that they are a child of a tiger for a father.

In the last 6 weeks to 2 months, two of the buildings have had roof replacements and there is one more to go.

I hope more of the ones abroad will show hand ( You are all bigger than 100k oh). Often times our people like to be called out before they will do the right thing.

Third roofing now completed.

I used to be ashamed to go and then see the state of that roof. I would be going to see it life next month.

Even with just roof replacements, the rents have gotten better soon people will be getting closer to 300k or more each

Chai Ile olorogun

My father's houses they did not see the thing to share.

Even the flat he allocated to me by mouth and paper (not a will) but a signed document he gave myself and my younger half sibling it's the last wife that is living in the compound of 3 flats alone. Last wife that fought with dad and locked him out of his property . Dad moved into guest house, my husband's people don't know my father's house till date. it's the guest house they came to ask for my hand oo. Na there we do trad too. . Shey it's that one I want to follow say one thing one thing.

My Dad's sister seem have taken over the property in Lagos. I managed to trace the place because Dad gave me the address about 5 months before he died. Even the trace sef my collegues from were waiting for me by the entrance of the street and if I stay too long they will mobilize and come over simply because the house is on the same street as dad's sisters husband so they will always see you if you come around and anything can happen. I was sha able to enter the street undetected.
Seems they left one flats for the 3 siblings abroad when they come home.

The guest house in our home town, I don't even know who's controlling that one, last I heard was that during the burial, my cousins were removing gotv abi is it TV from the rooms

My half elder siblings 3 of the same mother abroad, I doubt those ones will even come to Naija anymore they are too oyinbolized I think.

And we are not even plenty oo just 7 only 7 children pere. And Dad too didn't help matters he didn't bring us together, he always felt one person wanted to harm the other so we all never made contact for years, if I ask for my elder siblings no he will ask what do I need it for and because the 3 of them still lived with my dad, mum and myself during my early years before they went back abroad I felt I could relate with them more. I kuku searched them out on FB, was able to get the eldest of them, we would chat maybe once a year all through my time in scholl

Then I was getting married, I believe he sensed he would soon die, he used that to try to reunite us, we talked spoke and laughed it was refreshing. They even sent me a sizeable amount as wedding present.
And then 11 months later Dad died, the burial was successful and after that we all went back to our normal hello hi once in a very long while.

I personally do not know who is incharge of his properties, I suspect dad sisters those ones have always been a pain in the neck to all the wives and their children always feel they have rights over their Uncles (my dad's) properties.
No will so it's a free for all. Dad was highly educated so I felt he should have left a will.



Honestly there are levels to this madness.


Polygamous home? Wouldn't wish it for my worst enemy and I am talking as someone who we all never lived together at the same point.

NoToPile:
Chai Ile olorogun

My father's houses they did not see the thing to share.

Even the flat he allocated to me by mouth and paper (not a will) but a signed document he gave myself and my younger half sibling it's the last wife that is living in the compound of 3 flats alone. Last wife that fought with dad and locked him out of his property . Dad moved into guest house, my husband's people don't know my father's house till date. it's the guest house they came to ask for my hand oo. Na there we do trad too. . Shey it's that one I want to follow say one thing one thing.

My Dad's sister seem have taken over the property in Lagos. I managed to trace the place because Dad gave me the address about 5 months before he died. Even the trace sef my collegues from were waiting for me by the entrance of the street and if I stay too long they will mobilize and come over simply because the house is on the same street as dad's sisters husband so they will always see you if you come around and anything can happen. I was sha able to enter the street undetected.
Seems they left one flats for the 3 siblings abroad when they come home.

The guest house in our home town, I don't even know who's controlling that one, last I heard was that during the burial, my cousins were removing gotv abi is it TV from the rooms

My half elder siblings 3 of the same mother abroad, I doubt those ones will even come to Naija anymore they are too oyinbolized I think.

And we are not even plenty oo just 7 only 7 children pere. And Dad too didn't help matters he didn't bring us together, he always felt one person wanted to harm the other so we all never made contact for years, if I ask for my elder siblings no he will ask what do I need it for and because the 3 of them still lived with my dad, mum and myself during my early years before they went back abroad I felt I could relate with them more. I kuku searched them out on FB, was able to get the eldest of them, we would chat maybe once a year all through my time in scholl

Then I was getting married, I believe he sensed he would soon die, he used that to try to reunite us, we talked spoke and laughed it was refreshing. They even sent me a sizeable amount as wedding present.
And then 11 months later Dad died, the burial was successful and after that we all went back to our normal hello hi once in a very long while.

I personally do not know who is incharge of his properties, I suspect dad sisters those ones have always been a pain in the neck to all the wives and their children always feel they have rights over their Uncles (my dad's) properties.
No will so it's a free for all. Dad was highly educated so I felt he should have left a will.



Honestly there are levels to this madness.


Polygamous home? Wouldn't wish it for my worst enemy and I am talking as someone who we all never lived together at the same point.

That is one thing that the Muslim religion has if there is no will. I don’t know why a lot of our people are scared of having a will. We are all going to go at some point.

My great grandfathers house is in ita akoni (lagos island), my grandfather’s in ita faji ( lagos island also ) both are still in the family although my dad removed hand from ita akoni so we have nothing to do with it.

Na my father’s own them won come sell prodigal daughters. You have been forgiven.

Wee move.

Window and painting to follow.

Polygamous background > Polygamous foundation > Polygamous witchcraft and if not handled properly = Family Disaster

Anyman involved in polygamy is a fool. Just sell all the assets and enjoy your money or share it

gabbytabby:


That is one thing that the Muslim religion has if there is no will. I don’t know why a lot of our people are scared of having a will. We are all going to go at some point.

Not only Muslims, my dad was a Christian at least so I believe, an Anglican, you know most of the older generation are mainly orthodox.

I still can't wrap it round my head why he didn't leave a will, highly educated Accountant Canadian trained, he worked so hard in Nigeria and he did love his children even though I can't say same for the wives.

Now his children might not be able to get more access to his properties, even if they feel the elder ones don't need it( who doesn't need extra legal money in Naija these days anyway) there are 2 younger ones that are still in school and they will need the funds. Anyway Na their mama siddon on top 3 flats sef.

My mum had warned me about trying to ask about anything. ' you are my only child oo I have worked hard so you will not suffer whatever they do with it just look on'

I always believe time will take care of everything. Make I dey my dey abeg.

ednut1:
Anyman involved in polygamy is a fool. Just sell all the assets and enjoy your money or share it

That was my position instead of selling the family home like some were advocating (some have trauma surrounding the family home because their mum was banished from here for whatever reason) sell all or sell none. We are now on a course to repair cos that is what the majority want.

It’s not necessarily the best thing to totally erase your roots and legacy it’s un African.

When you get involved in polygamy often times even when native medicine is not your thing you might still get dragged into it.

I still marvel at an incident. Involving 2 brothers (same mother) one got offended by another and cut off his brother’s trouser leg but see how it plays out instead.

The mother took the culprit and my own brother to a juju house to find out who did it. She needed them to help hold the equipment which they claim should shake when they call the name of who don it.

By the time they came back they claimed ifa at the native medicine said Alhaja did it.

My stepmom chose the next morning to call out Alhaja for trying to kill her son. Next morning I was returning to Uni and was meant to take a taxi to Yaba bus garage from where I will take the luxurious bus to port harcourt. As a nurse, my mum was working Night Shift at the same Yaba area and was meant to meet up with me at the bus garage.

By the time my mum got home pandemonium has broken and all of them at home succeeded in even dragging my dad with them to another native medicine man and this time the next one said it is my mum remember she is the only one that is not there and he did not have to say it to her face.

Let’s just say the mother of the boy, her family and friends had to look for what they call a real juju strongman and they all got my mum to finance a trip to the next state ijebu ode for her to swear that she did not do it and if she did it they had a list of evil they want to happen to one of her children (they chose me) maka why me.

Although the 5th born, I was doing well first child to go to a federal secondary school and first to go to university so they want to cause maximum destruction even thou I did them no harm. That is what you get in a polygamous home. They don’t have money to feed themselves properly but they have money to be parading juju houses looking for what is not lost. Officially we were suppose to be Muslims but a lot of the juju men call themselves Alfa.

A lot of the Alhaja who own their own homes is not a coincidence. The wise ones once they finish having children will work hard make some money, build their own homes and find their peace. There is no divorce and no separation just peace.

We all need therapy for this country.