FROM MY INBOX.

Good morning.
Please post for me and hide my id.

I got married since 2019, and by the grace of God, my family is been blessed with a handsome baby boy, who's about 1-and-half years now, I also live with my wife's nephew, a boy of 9 years now.

For the past 2 years I haven't enjoyed the marriage, even though I do my best to make it work. I give my wife 50k every month for food items only. Light bill, loma bill, security bill, filling of our 6 kg cylinder is not included in that 50k, I take care of all those ones whenever it's due to pay for them. I also buy bags of rice once it finished, it's also not included in the 50k

The issue here is that before 18th of every month she will start demanding for extra money, I pleaded with her to manage it because I just started business last year January 2021, and the business have not gain a strong stand, and I take out 50k there to feed the family monthly.

She also working - a good work for that matter, and I give her 1k everyday for transport.

This morning been Sunday 20th March, she demanded for another money, then I asked her what happened to the 50k I gave her on the 1st of this month, she started saying a whole lot of rubbish with her mouth, that I should go to the market myself and see how costly things are. That any time I transfer that 50k to her account, that she will transfer it back to my account.

I called her “my sweet wife, why can't you be appreciative to God that your husband gives you 50k every month? That there are other women out there suffering for what she and the children will eat, hawking under the hot sun everyday”.

Sorry for the long epistle.
Please advise me, In which area have I offended my wife, which made her to treat my little earning that way?

Today I am a high-blood-pressure patient. Taking drugs every morning and night. Please advice me, what will I do again to keep my family going.

..
..
Please He Needs Advice.

Then he should stop giving her any amount at all until her brain reset

I don't understand what you'll take on after we advise you but if I were in your shoes, I'll sit her down and talk sense into her.
No petting!
No sweet names!


It's a legit: “let this be the first and last time you talk to me in that way. And here is how it is going to be: you are going to be using N30k each month to cook for the next six months until you learn to manage. Most families feed with N7k weekly on food for more than three persons and you are making me look stupid giving you N50k with some other sums for misc for just you, the baby, and I...when I also provide money for bulk purchases. I warn you, don't angry me, and you've been banned from requesting additional money from me till further notice!” Well, btw, Abeg jare, contact me for thesis and dissertation writing.

The truth is that with Nigeria current economy 50k(less than a $100) can't sustain a family of four, make the husband reason am
*She will buy food stuff
*Transport
*Snacks for the kids and miscellaneous on her own side.
Let the man make it like 70k at least.

Modified:
Sorry I didn't read the post well I thought the 50k was for food stuff and her up keep

Abeg forgive me I didn't even read the part that the lady also has salary I thought she was a full house wife

Start handling the upkeep yourself. Don't give her a dime again.

Maybe she has friends she's trying to compete with or brag to about how much her mumu gives her for upkeep.

Maybe she's also saving part of it.

If truly the money is only for upkeep, then shes not prudent. Stop giving her altogether.

Well before you marry her, I know that you it was manageable because the country was easy before but now the country is a more complex situation now, we are at war in a silent way, 50k will not be enough to take care of family a month trust me, she is not doing any job, so how will she cope.. and everything rely on you.. so there is a problem, so you need to fix the problem by telling her to start a job or do something like a trade.. and make something good..

She thinks u can do far better than that.

Please,, this is something similar to something that I had posted earlier here.
Here is another person's experience on the same issue.
..
Please read through and drop your comments..

Pocohantas, Donbachi, Raalsalghul, Ibechris, UnusualEmissary, Acidosis, ZIMDRILL, GboyegaD, Truthsayer009, BluntCrazeMan, LadySarah, Vyolet, NoToPile, Cloven22, Mariangeles, Cococandy, HannyAD, Munzy14, Kobojunkie, DonroxyII.

Malory:
Then he should stop giving her any amount at all until her brain reset

My exact thoughts..
Although it would be very harsh of him

BluntNigerian:
For the past 2 years I haven't enjoyed the marriage, even though I do my best to make it work. I give my wife 50k every month for food items only. Light bill, loma bill, security bill, filling of our 6 kg cylinder is not included in that 50k, I take care of all those ones whenever it's due to pay for them. I also buy bags of rice once it finished, it's also not included in the 50k

The issue here is that before 18th of every month she will start demanding for extra money, I pleaded with her to manage it because I just started business last year January 2021, and the business have not gain a strong stand, and I take out 50k there to feed the family monthly..

Husband and wife no be master and slave relationship. The man ought to sit together with his wife at the table, with paper and pencil in hand to plot out exactly how much it costs to feed the family regularly, and this should take place every month so they are in sync. Apart from feeding, the man should make certain his wife is aware of how much he pays each month for light bill, gas etc.

Also, he claims his wife works as well but how much did they both agree would be her contribution as far as upkeep of what is after all her own family?

harizonal123:
She thinks u can do far better than that.

With which income??
Or abi she no dey see how her husband's business had been moving on with her own koro-koro eyes?

Mercychen:
Start handling the upkeep yourself. Don't give her a dime again.

Maybe she has friends she's trying to compete with or brag to about how much her mumu gives her for upkeep.

Maybe she's also saving part of it.

If truly the money is only for upkeep, then shes not prudent. Stop given her altogether.

Haaaa, this from you?

I am impressed. No vex for the previous attacks

chatinent:
I don't understand what you'll take on after we advise you but if I were in your shoes, I'll sit her down and talk sense into her.
No petting!
No sweet names!


It's a legit: “let this be the first and last time you talk to me in that way. And here is how it is going to be: you are going to be using N30k each month to cook for the next six months until you learn to manage. Most families feed with N7k weekly on food for more than three persons and you are making me look stupid giving you N50k with some other sums for misc for just you, the baby, and I...when I also provide money so bulk purchasea? I warn you, don't angry me and you've been banned from requesting additional money from me till further notice!”

Chhaaiii.!!
..
This one sounds like Bombb.!!

BluntNigerian:
My exact thoughts..
Although it would be very harsh of him

Since she doesn't appreciate the one he is giving her then let him stop

Cardealer2021:
The truth is that with Nigeria current economy 50k(less than a $100) can't sustain a family of four, make the husband reason am
*She will buy food stuff
*Transport
*Snacks for the kids and miscellaneous on her own side.
Let the man make it like 70k at least.

Even me single guy with no responsibility spend more than that a week sometimes not to talk of family of 4

What type of food have you been feeding yourself with, that you consume more than N50,000 every week just on feeding?

Malory:
Since she doesn't appreciate the one he is giving her then let him stop

Agreeded.!!

Kajaard:


Haaaa, this from you?

I am impressed. No vex for the previous attacks

So, both of you are friends now, sheey??
..
Have you ever seen Iyaebe dropped reasonable comments? Yes..
She does..
And once you see such comments, you would just realise that she had been catching cruise all these while.

Cardealer2021:
The truth is that with Nigeria current economy 50k(less than a $100) can't sustain a family of four, make the husband reason am
*She will buy food stuff
*Transport
*Snacks for the kids and miscellaneous on her own side.
Let the man make it like 70k at least.

Even me single guy with no responsibility spend more than that a week sometimes not to talk of family of 4

No bi everybody dey carry ashawo, bro.

Kobojunkie:
Husband and wife no be master and slave relationship. The man ought to sit together with his wife at the table, with paper and pencil in hand to plot out exactly how much it costs to feed the family regularly, and this should take place every month so they are in sync. Apart from feeding, the man should make certain his wife is aware of how much he pays each month for light bill, gas etc.

Also, he claims his wife works as well but how much did they both agree would be her contribution as far as upkeep of what is after all her own family?

Inost African families, the men usually tend to bear the whole burden without communicating with the wife, until he is just about to break down.
Then he would start seeking for help outside the family, even without letting the wife know.

chatinent:


No bi everybody dey carry ashawo, bro.

Tell him

BluntNigerian:
So, both of you are friends now, sheey??
..
Have you ever seen Iyaebe dropped reasonable comments? Yes..
She does..
And once you see such comments, you would just realise that she had been catching cruise all these while.

Exactly. That Iyaebe is something else

I hardly take her comments serious anymore once I realised she is just joking around. I have realized most of these ladies that antagonize guys are quite smart but just make those annoying posts to piss us off

BluntNigerian:
What type of food have you been feeding yourself with, that you consume more than N50,000 every week just on feeding?

I eat alot ,
Moreover I'm a bachelor 95% of food I eat are not cooked by me ( eatery), Transport and girls wahala contribute to it also

Kajaard:


Exactly. That Iyaebe is something else

I hardly take her comments serious anymore once I realised she is just joking around. I have realized most of these ladies that antagonize guys are quite smart but just make those annoying posts to piss us off

They enjoy it.
They enjoy the fun of watching you guys express your anger online with extreme frustration.
..
Smart Introverted people
That's what they do most.

Cardealer2021:

I eat alot ,
Moreover I'm a bachelor 95% of food I eat are not cooked by me ( eatery), Transport and girls wahala contribute to it also

You sure say you wan marry this year or next year so?

chatinent:


No bi everybody dey carry ashawo, bro.

bros I nor dey carry ohhh

BluntNigerian:
In African families, most men tend to bear the whole burden without communicating with the wife, until he is just about to break down.
Then he would start seeking for help outside the family, even without letting the wife know.

See.. the African family module is obviously not working at all for this man considering the level of stress he is having to deal with.

Married folks are supposed to have a major leg up over single folks mainly because there are two heads in that equation. But when folks turn it instead into a Master-slave type relationship, they loose out on that would be major benefit.

The other parts are not really my concern here neither do have advice in that respect.
My concern is somebody who is working and she requires 1k every day as transportation cost of which proceeds are not used to the benefit of your immediate family is what baffles me.
You do that for love right? clap for yourself

Goldbw122:
Well before you marry her, I know that you it was manageable because the country was easy before but now the country is a more complex situation now, we are at war in a silent way, 50k will not be enough to take care of family a month trust me, she is not doing any job, so how will she cope.. and everything rely on you.. so there is a problem, so you need to fix the problem by telling her to start a job or do something like a trade.. and make something good..

Thank you bro, we are on the same boat things done cost die for the country

Goldbw122:
Well before you marry her, I know that you it was manageable because the country was easy before but now the country is a more complex situation now, we are at war in a silent way, 50k will not be enough to take care of family a month trust me, she is not doing any job, so how will she cope.. and everything rely on you.. so there is a problem, so you need to fix the problem by telling her to start a job or do something like a trade.. and make something good..

She's a working lady.
Read the post well..
She just wanted to frustrate the man.
Just in a bid to make him realise that N50K is not enough any longer.
Rather than her to use a better approach for communicating such, or to cut down on the type of food, or her methods of buying food-stuffs

Where una dey see all these kind women wey dey treat una like garbage...

You people should marry your friend
A friend will always see you as a supporting striker in marriage whether you have plenty or little....


Make thunder fire any woman who dey frustrate her man...nonsense!!

Mercychen:
Start handling the upkeep yourself. Don't give her a dime again.

Maybe she has friends she's trying to compete with or brag to about how much her mumu gives her for upkeep.

Maybe she's also saving part of it.

If truly the money is only for upkeep, then shes not prudent. Stop given her altogether.

Straight to the point.
Thanks

This is the reason why many men die early in Nigeria.

A woman that is working is demanding for more money after 50k.

This is hmmable and imagine how many men would just go and marry their enemy as wife.

The snag here is that,u guys didn't discuss about money in this marriage before u went ahead to consummate it.

Take it or leave it your wife is not helping at all.