.

Sometimes, I feel like telling my ex everything I'm going through and ask for help, because he keep asking me if I'm enjoying my marriage

What sort of Ex keep asking if you're enjoying your marriage

What's his plan if you're not enjoying the marriage?

I just don't want to talk

You're still there asking what to do about an unrepentant gambler until he gambles with your life or uses you to stake a bet.

I wonder how people put up with such for even one day.

I don't think it's really affecting you yet otherwise you won't need any body to tell you what to do.

No be my mouth you go hear say, "leave your husband".

brokenheart1234:
My husband is into sport betting and it's really stressing me in this marriage. If it's just struggling to feed, take care of ourselves without anyone calling requesting for his loan, I would have keep managing. But right now, I can't rest because he is debt of 350k and he is not making effort to pay up.
The person keep calling me, chatting me because my husband has refused to pick his calls nor return his calls.
The loan, I didn't know what he use it for. He can't explain.
We took the loan for a business, but he sqander it.
The person loan him the money because of me.
Any money from salary, goes into betting. No matter how I advice him, quarrel him, he will never stop.

Sometimes, I feel like telling my ex everything I'm going through and ask for help, because he keep asking me if I'm enjoying my marriage. Other times, I feel my husband is just be wicked.

The whole responsibilities in this marriage is on me. I'm enduring because of my son. But I'm tired.
How can I make him pay up his loan? How can I stop him from betting addiction?

Just listen to urself. The loan i didn't know what he used it for. He can't explain. We took the loan for a business but he squander it.

Mercychen:
You're still there asking what to do about an unrepentant gambler until he gambles with your life or uses you to stake a bet.

I wonder how people put up with such for even one day.

I don't think it's really affecting you yet otherwise you won't need any body to tell you what to do.

No be my mouth you go hear say, "leave your husband".

I know wetin dey ur mind, tell her.

Truvelisback:
I know wetin dey ur mind, tell her.

She knows what to do. Let her do it!

Mercychen:


She knows what to do. Let her do it!

Lol, make it plain to her. Anyway, I understand sha.

brokenheart1234:
My husband is into sport betting and it's really stressing me in this marriage. If it's just struggling to feed, take care of ourselves without anyone calling requesting for his loan, I would have keep managing. But right now, I can't rest because he is debt of 350k and he is not making effort to pay up.
The person keep calling me, chatting me because my husband has refused to pick his calls nor return his calls.
The loan, I didn't know what he use it for. He can't explain.
We took the loan for a business, but he sqander it.
The person loan him the money because of me.
Any money from salary, goes into betting. No matter how I advice him, quarrel him, he will never stop.

Sometimes, I feel like telling my ex everything I'm going through and ask for help, because he keep asking me if I'm enjoying my marriage. Other times, I feel my husband is just be wicked.

The whole responsibilities in this marriage is on me. I'm enduring because of my son. But I'm tired.
How can I make him pay up his loan? How can I stop him from betting addiction?

Let me be blunt here. My advice might be very hurtful but it would be helpful to u. Do u know what? 1. Give him some space. Take ur son, leave his house and stay with ur parents until he comes back to his senses. 2. Refer the person he is owing to his own house.

.

Mercychen:
You're still there asking what to do about an unrepentant gambler until he gambles with your life or uses you to stake a bet.

I wonder how people put up with such for even one day.

I don't think it's really affecting you yet otherwise you won't need any body to tell you what to do.

No be my mouth you go hear say, "leave your husband".

It's really affecting me. Just that I don't know the right thing to do.

brokenheart1234:
It's really affecting me. Just that I don't know the right thing to do.

My dear, since you've tried everything to make him Change but he refused, just separate from him for a while and see if he gets his acts together. If he really cares about you the way you do, he'll quit for your sake. If not, move on. Your happiness and fulfillment over a boring and draining Marriage.

You come this life only once. Anything that will deprive you of your joy, cut off!

brokenheart1234:
My husband is into sport betting and it's really stressing me in this marriage. If it's just struggling to feed, take care of ourselves without anyone calling requesting for his loan, I would have keep managing. But right now, I can't rest because he is debt of 350k and he is not making effort to pay up.
The person keep calling me, chatting me because my husband has refused to pick his calls nor return his calls.
The loan, I didn't know what he use it for. He can't explain.
We took the loan for a business, but he sqander it.
The person loan him the money because of me.
Any money from salary, goes into betting. No matter how I advice him, quarrel him, he will never stop.

Sometimes, I feel like telling my ex everything I'm going through and ask for help, because he keep asking me if I'm enjoying my marriage.Other times, I feel my husband is just be wicked.

The whole responsibilities in this marriage is on me. I'm enduring because of my son. But I'm tired.
How can I make him pay up his loan? How can I stop him from betting addiction?

Woman, I don't really have an advice to give you but, I have a problem with the bolded

Why is your ex asking you whether you are enjoying your marriage.

brokenheart1234:
My husband is into sport betting and it's really stressing me in this marriage. If it's just struggling to feed, take care of ourselves without anyone calling requesting for his loan, I would have keep managing. But right now, I can't rest because he is debt of 350k and he is not making effort to pay up.
The person keep calling me, chatting me because my husband has refused to pick his calls nor return his calls.
The loan, I didn't know what he use it for. He can't explain.
We took the loan for a business, but he sqander it.
The person loan him the money because of me.
Any money from salary, goes into betting. No matter how I advice him, quarrel him, he will never stop.

Sometimes, I feel like telling my ex everything I'm going through and ask for help, because he keep asking me if I'm enjoying my marriage. Other times, I feel my husband is just be wicked.

The whole responsibilities in this marriage is on me. I'm enduring because of my son. But I'm tired.
How can I make him pay up his loan? How can I stop him from betting addiction?

didn't u see d signs when u were dating?
Did he start betting today?
Didn't u see bet slips with him during courtship?

Why did u ignore those sign?
What people don't understand is that if person never marry u n u are seeing obvious red flags,it will only get worse.

.

What's your husband's monthly salary? I think you guys can work out something. However, you must be willing to keep talking or get his family involved.

Mercychen:


My dear, since you've tried everything to make him Change but he refused, just separate from him for a while and see if he gets his acts together. If he really cares about you the way you do, he'll quit for your sake. If not, move on. Your happiness and fulfillment over a boring and draining Marriage.

You come this life only once. Anything that will deprive you of your joy, cut off!

Noted. Thanks

brokenheart1234:
Going to stay with my parents is out of it. The only alternative is to rent a self contain apartment and pack there, but I don't know how that would sound.
I've told the person several times to deal with my husband directly and leave me out of it, but my husband has refused to pick his calls nor respond to any of his messages.
I'm thinking of giving him his office address, but what if, the company sack him when that man go there to make trouble?

U can but it's not good and adviceable for a lady to live alone.

.

Truvelisback:
U can but it's not good and adviceable for a lady to live alone.

Not alone, but with my son

brokenheart1234:
My ex, is not the problem here. Everyone who knows me before, always ask me, if I'm fine in the marriage because I don't look ok.
The major problem here, is the stress I'm going through here. Sometimes, I feel like telling everyone that care about me the kind of pain and struggles I'm passing through here, but I don't want anyone to look down on him. But his action, is so hurting

Was your husband already into betting before you married him?
Why is your ex good enough to pour out your heart to now?
Why is he asking you if you’re enjoying your marriage?
Are you sure he wishes you well? I think he’s a busybody/monitoring spirit.
What if he wants to take advantage of your vulnerability?

brokenheart1234:
Noted. Thanks

You're welcome.

Mariangeles:


Was your husband already into betting before you married him?
Why is your ex good enough to pour out your heart to now?
Why is he asking you if you’re enjoying your marriage?
Are you sure he wishes you well?
What if he wants to take advantage of your vulnerability?

Yes. He was. He admitted during one of his many apologies that he was introduced to betting by his friend back then in school, but it's hard to discover he do all that.

My ex, is not a problem here.

brokenheart1234:
Not alone, but with my son

If u are still young and marriageable, it is not good. If u are a man, that's a diffent thing.

brokenheart1234:
His salary is within 85k.
Maybe, I should just go on and tell his mother first.

Please go ahead and tell his mother. His parents should come through at this point. I don't think he would ever be able to pay the loan from his salary unless the lender agrees to a paltry monthly payment.

brokenheart1234:
Yes. He was. He admitted during one of his many apologies that he was introduced to betting by his friend back then in school, but it's hard to discover he do all that.

My ex, is not a problem here.

You didn’t know?

You should’ve married your ex then.

Gamblers don't change seriously...

Any man that cannot pay up his loan must be heartless.

Madam,watch ur husband very well before he would sell something most precious to the family for gambling.

I know of a man who sold his late father's house for less than a million naira just for gambling.

brokenheart1234:
Going to stay with my parents is out of it. The only alternative is to rent a self contain apartment and pack there, but I don't know how that would sound.
I've told the person several times to deal with my husband directly and leave me out of it, but my husband has refused to pick his calls nor respond to any of his messages.
I'm thinking of giving him his office address, but what if, the company sack him when that man go there to make trouble?

I believe he is going through a stage.
Aside his bad reputation with money, does he treat you well?
Does he love his son and cares for him?
If yes, please tarry some more. Pay off this debt if you have the means to be paying small small.

Don't do anything together like business with him that involves money.

If God is blessing the work of your hands and you are making money, calmly keep supporting the family but don't give him your cash cos he'd gamble it away.

This is a phase, it will pass.

Mercychen:


My dear, since you've tried everything to make him Change but he refused, just separate from him for a while and see if he gets his acts together. If he really cares about you the way you do, he'll quit for your sake. If not, move on. Your happiness and fulfillment over a boring and draining Marriage.

You come this life only once. Anything that will deprive you of your joy, cut off!

We are talking about marriage not mere relationship.
If the husband treats her good and cares for the family, she should be patient
He will come around.

There's a reason some men hand over their salaries to their wives to disburse, it's because they acknowledge they are not good money managers.

If he doesn't abuse her physically and emotionally, I don't see why she has to go.

ChoCho54:
We are talking about marriage not mere relationship.
If the husband treats her good and cares for the family, she should be patient
He will come around.

There's a reason some men hand over their salaries to their wives to disburse, it's because they acknowledge they are not good money managers.

If he doesn't abuse her physically and emotionally, I don't see why she has to go.

O...kaaay.... Until he goes and brings a deadly disease home with his Randy lifestyle and infects her? All because it's Marriage? Smh.. now I know why married men don't regard their wives because they know the women can't do without them and would rather leave in death than alive.

So, because it's Marriage, the woman should sit and watch her life being risked on a daily basis, in pain and agony every day?

Look, whether mere relationship or Marriage, its same same because someone's sanity is at stake here. Even the Bible does not support a cheating spouse.

Na wa o. Abokoku plenty for this life o.

Ndi married, ngwa, over to you guys.

brokenheart1234:
His salary is within 85k.
Maybe, I should just go on and tell his mother first.

Yes! Tell his mother and any other person in his family that cares to listen about his betting addiction and the unpaid loan. They might be able to push him to stop the betting and also help in repaying the loan.

Mercychen:


O...kaaay.... Until he goes and brings a deadly disease home with his Randy lifestyle and infects her? All because it's Marriage? Smh.. now I know why married men don't regard their wives because they know the women can't do without them and would rather leave in death than alive.

So, because it's Marriage, the woman should sit and watch her life being risked on a daily basis, in pain and agony every day?

Look, whether mere relationship or Marriage, its same same because someone's sanity is at stake here. Even the Bible doesn't not support a cheating spouse.

Na was o. Abokoku plenty for this life o.

Ndi married, ngwa, over to you guys.

My dear, marriage is for adults not kids because there's more to it than meets the eyes.

ChoCho54:
My dear, marriage is for adults not kids because there's more to it than meets the eyes.

What is that thing that is more than meet the eyes with a man that clearly slowly killing you emotionally?

I'm sure the women that died in their Marriage were of this same opinion or probably told this same lies until the man finally ended their lifes.
I'm sure, Mrs osifo was of the same opinion and kept covering him until his shameful death in the hands of a small girl. Now, who's living with the shame? Abegiii...

Any toxic relationship, be it Marriage or courtship is not worth keeping.
That man is a ticking time bomb and he won't rest until he's carried out his fantasies with those girls.