More and more women are being physically and or emotionally abused by their spouses, and a large number are staying back primarily because of three factors: the church, the kids and financial dependency.
Although women who have achieved financial independence also stay in abusive marriages and claimed that they are staying back for fear of what the church might say and the desire of wanting to raise kids in a ‘complete’ family.

What most women do not understand is that children who grew up in a toxic environment where they have to experience one parent being abused by the other are more ‘damaged’ and traumatized. And many go through life scarred from this ordeal, affecting their view of what a healthy relationship should be.

Parents are the first models a child patterns after his expectations and realities of relationships and consequently marriage. Therefore we might want to be careful in our decisions of staying through an abusive marriage because of the kids whom we are already destroying with our decision to remain in an abusive marriage. Ironically, we are destroying the very thing we are trying to protect.

Can godly children be raised by a single parent?

Parents need an enabled and toxic-free environment to raise godly children and a large dose of mental healthiness is needed to nurture, guide and maintain an active close relationship with the child.
An abused parent is more likely to be stressed, agitated, and easily irritated and has a higher chance of transferring the aggression to the child and other people around them.

A parent who is being shamed and abused emotionally and or physically might never know how to give commendations when required to the child and might struggle with what form of discipline is age-appropriate or if to ascribe discipline at all or might go overboard with their forms of discipline.

A parent whose child has severally witnessed occasions where they are being abused appears weaker and vulnerable.
It denies the parent that status of strength and authority.

When children look at their parents, they expect to see a figure of strength, esteem and authority; certainly, an abused parent can’t hold that stance before the child. What the child would give to the parent is pity and sympathy because they are seeing an adult who can’t defend themselves and a picture of weakness.

Godly children can only be raised in a home that serves the child peace, love, comfort and guidance. Unarguably, all these are absent in a home where the child is being exposed to various forms of domestic violence.

If separating or divorcing outrightly from one’s spouse will offer the parent and the child an opportunity to be free from toxicity then this isn’t a talk of whether God hates divorce.
As much as God would prefer that children be raised in a home where both parents are actively present, he sure does hate to see children hurt constantly by the mistakes of their parents. Hence, he estimates the wellness of a child over a ‘bad’ marriage.

Mathew 18:16 ‘whoever causes these little ones to stumble it would be better for them to have a huge stone hung around their neck and be drawn in the depth of the sea’

Effects of Children Seeing their Parent Being Abused in the Home by the Other Parent

The child Suffers a nervous breakdown from induced trauma.
Lacks interest in their hobbies, depression, mental stress and feeling of abandonment and neglect

Easily terrified, jumpy and cranky

separates self from peers, doesn’t enjoy school activities
Have school- challenges and learning difficulties,

Low self-esteem, prone to violence, more likely to use drugs and abuse other people.

Have a bleak understanding of what a healthy relationship should be like, hence do not hold on too long in a relationship or have low or high expectations from people they are in a relationship with whether platonic or sexual



ABUSED PARENTS MUST REALIZE THAT THEY ARE NOT DOING THEIR KIDS ANY FAVOUR WHEN THEY STAY THROUGH AN RELATIONSHIP AND THAT IT WILL BE SELFISH OF THEM TO GRADE THEIR IMAGE OVER THE MENTAL HEALTH OF THEIR KIDS.

What can the Abused Parents do for themselves and the Kids?

The option of walking away is always there, but that decision is yours to take and yours alone. But I would advise that you look deeply, is it worth your mental health and that of your kids?
Domestic violence could end in death or permanent body damage. Is staying through worth your life or the pains your absence might cause your kids and loved ones?

An abused parent could begin with temporal separation from the partner, while also giving the other person the alternative to seek professional help.
If they are refusing to seek help for themselves, for you and the kids then they are not worth the sacrifice of another chance.

Never leave your kids with an abusive partner. The abuse might continue, only that your child or children might be the victim (s).

Talk to a professional counsellor about your feelings, this will help alleviate the built-up mental stress. It’s not going to be easy. You will feel guilt, bruised ashamed and condemned, judged mocked and misunderstood.

These are the emotional turmoils that accompany being abused but time, as they say, heals even the deepest of wounds. If you just give yourself the best option and work through all those negative energy with the help of the Holy Spirit and a professional therapist.

Christ does want the best for his children here on earth, not only in Heaven. He needs you alive and happy for his kingdom’s purpose so you could also live a purposeful life here on Earth free of guilt and self-inflicted or people’s condemnation. He wouldn’t put you in a box where you will have to choose between staying with an abusive partner because the church says it is bad or leaving with your sanity in check.

You can have your kids go through therapy, teaching them the value and the expectations of a true relationship.

Even if you are financially dependent on your abuser, make sure you leave while you are still alive before you start your journey to independence. There are some women who in a bid of wanting independence for themselves first before leaving went on to stay longer in the quagmire. It will always be a tussle if you are waiting for the perfect time to leave, chances are, it might never come, so while you can, leave while you are alive. Your kids will eventually be glad you did.

https://raisinggodlyseeds.com/motherhood/god-hates-divorce-should-women-stay-in-abusive-marriage-because-of-their-kids-and-the-church/

Hmm

Raisinggodlysee:
Can godly children be raised by a single parent?

Parents need an enabled and toxic-free environment to raise godly children and a large dose of mental healthiness is needed to nurture, guide and maintain an active close relationship with the child.
An abused parent is more likely to be stressed, agitated, and easily irritated and has a higher chance of transferring the aggression to the child and other people around them.

There are no such things as godly children nor can any human being in Jesus Christ raise what you call godly children. This idea is born of lies.

Kobojunkie:
There are no such things as godly children nor can any human being in Jesus Christ raise what you call godly children. This idea is born of lies.

seriously!...Pls enlighten me comrade.

Beltz:
seriously!...Pls enlighten me comrade.

Enlighten you about what exactly?

Kobojunkie:
Enlighten you about what exactly?

You said they are no such things as godly children, so pls enlighten me.

Beltz:
You said they are no such things as godly children, so pls enlighten me.

Well, there are no such things as godly children....and you don't train children to be godly. Instead you teach them God's New Covenant Law so that when the children become old enough to make their own decision about God for themselves, they can then chose to become followers of Jesus Christ or not.

What people typically confuse are their indoctrinated children who grow up to be maladjusted individuals unable to fit well into society as a result of lies and deceit fed them in the name of God. Many of them end up crawling back in to continue with the same pattern of indoctrination through through their adulthood.

Too long to read. This topic is also tired.

God remain unmarried till this day.
Satan too.
even Jesus, while he was on earth didn't bother.
Paul, one of the biggest names in your Bible even advised christains against getting married.


continue to advise people to remain in abusive marriage.

ireneidiva:
Too long to read. This topic is also tired.

Thanks for the feed back

Uyi168:
God remain unmarried till this day.
Satan too.
even Jesus, while he was on earth didn't bother.
Paul, one of the biggest names in your Bible even advised christains against getting married.


continue to advise people to remain in abusive marriage.

You didn't read the post, it is asking women to leave abusive marriage when they can

Kobojunkie:
Well, there are no such things as godly children....and you don't train children to be godly. Instead you teach them God's New Covenant Law so that when the children become old enough to make their own decision about God for themselves, they can then chose to become followers of Jesus Christ or not.

What people typically confuse are their indoctrinated children who grow up to be maladjusted individuals unable to fit well into society as a result of lies and deceit fed them in the name of God. Many of them end up crawling back in to continue with the same pattern of indoctrination through through their adulthood.

Being godly means God-fearing which is not the same as indoctrination. When you teach Children the principles of God, you are invariably teaching them to be God.
God desires godly children read the book of Malachi 2:15

Raisinggodlysee:
Being godly means God-fearing which is not the same as indoctrination. When you teach Children the principles of God, you are invariably teaching them to be God.
God desires godly children read the book of Malachi 2:15

The promise in the Old Testament, including the book of Malachi, was of God's agreement with those who have the blood of Jacob coursing though their veins, the very same people of Israel to whom God gave His Old Covenant Law through Moses as a constitution for living in the Land of Canaan - Deuteronomy 30 vs 15 - 20. God intentionally excluded those of gentile birth from that Covenant which He made with Jacob's descendants, and God will never give that which belongs to Jacob to anyone else.

If you paid close attention to the audience of the writings in Malachi, you would note that the message was directed at the the Levite Priesthood, the People of Judah in addition to all of Israel... no mention of gentiles as partakers in the promise. So of what good would it be for a one of Gentile birth to live by a Law, and agreement God never saw fit to extend to his kind? Isn't that the worst form of deceit?

God has given us His New Law and Truth, Jesus Christ, for living in the Kingdom of God, the one who is called the Gospel - This Covenant, God has given to both Gentlles and Jews alike. And it is by living in submission to and obedience of the teachings(commandments) of Jesus Christ that we are able to partake in God's blessings as provided for for those in the Kingdom of God.

In His New Covenant, God has not called us to bear or raise Him children same as He instructed those of the Old Covenant . No, instead He calls us to teach His Gospel to those in the world - the unsaved, and and that He alone will be Teacher and Shepherd, and Master to those who are saved.

So, indeed, there are no "godly" children and you cannot train for yourself what you call "godly" children in the Kingdom of God. All you are called to do is teach the Gospel - The Way- of the Kingdom of God to even the children, so that when the time comes for them - of their own volition - they can choose Jesus Christ for themselves.

Heaven cannot be taken by force nor forced on any individual... all the indoctrinating/taking the Kingdom by force you do will never open the narrow gate that leads to Heaven to anyone. Only God can lead a one who is ready through those gates.

Kobojunkie:
Well, there are no such things as godly children....and you don't train children to be godly. Instead you teach them God's New Covenant Law so that when the children become old enough to make their own decision about God for themselves, they can then chose to become followers of Jesus Christ or not.

What people typically confuse are their indoctrinated children who grow up to be maladjusted individuals unable to fit well into society as a result of lies and deceit fed them in the name of God. Many of them end up crawling back in to continue with the same pattern of indoctrination through through their adulthood.

I totally get your point comrade, thanks!