Happy Easter..

I felt I should drop this here and I need sound and helpful comments.

Growing up wasn't all that rosy, we had our challenges as family and watching my mom bear the responsibility of us all broke me.

Mom died , life became this harsh ,
I couldn't further my studies and I opt to hustle.

In the midst of this I was and still a chronic loner, I don't keep friends, always stuck with my phone and my raging thoughts.

Now I run my own business and it's improving but in the midst of all this I feel depressed, suffocated, life is meaningless to me.

There are days I just want to die.

I've never been genuine but I'm this guy who can make anyone laugh so hard.

In fact my face is never devoid of smile but it's all fake..

How do I get over this thoughts?
How do I find happiness??

I fear one day I might not be able to stop me from doing something stupid.

annayawchee:
Happy Easter..

I felt I should drop this here and I need sound and helpful comments.

Growing up wasn't all that rosy, we had our challenges as family and watching my mom bear the responsibility of us all broke me.

Mom died , life became this harsh ,
I couldn't further my studies and I opt to hustle.

In the midst of this I was and still a chronic loner, I don't keep friends, always stuck with my phone and my raging thoughts.

Now I run my own business and it's improving but in the midst of all this I feel depressed, suffocated, life is meaningless to me.

There are days I just want to die.

I've never been genuine but I'm this guy who can make anyone laugh so hard.

In fact my face is never devoid of smile but it's all fake..

How do I get over this thoughts?
How do I find happiness??

I fear one day I might not be able to stop me from doing something stupid.

what type of business are you into?

annayawchee:
Happy Easter..

I felt I should drop this here and I need sound and helpful comments.

Growing up wasn't all that rosy, we had our challenges as family and watching my mom bear the responsibility of us all broke me.

Mom died , life became this harsh ,
I couldn't further my studies and I opt to hustle.

In the midst of this I was and still a chronic loner, I don't keep friends, always stuck with my phone and my raging thoughts.

Now I run my own business and it's improving but in the midst of all this I feel depressed, suffocated, life is meaningless to me.

There are days I just want to die.

I've never been genuine but I'm this guy who can make anyone laugh so hard.

In fact my face is never devoid of smile but it's all fake..

How do I get over this thoughts?
How do I find happiness??

I fear one day I might not be able to stop me from doing something stupid.

You're neither suicidal nor depressed. You're just broke and a job is the panacea. Start the hunt. HustleHunt

annayawchee:
Happy Easter..

I felt I should drop this here and I need sound and helpful comments.

Growing up wasn't all that rosy, we had our challenges as family and watching my mom bear the responsibility of us all broke me.

Mom died , life became this harsh ,
I couldn't further my studies and I opt to hustle.

In the midst of this I was and still a chronic loner, I don't keep friends, always stuck with my phone and my raging thoughts.

Now I run my own business and it's improving but in the midst of all this I feel depressed, suffocated, life is meaningless to me.

There are days I just want to die.

I've never been genuine but I'm this guy who can make anyone laugh so hard.

In fact my face is never devoid of smile but it's all fake..

How do I get over this thoughts?
How do I find happiness??

I fear one day I might not be able to stop me from doing something stupid.

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Good Luck

PLEASE, for as many reading this my comment, failure in business or in anything at all IS NOT AND CAN NEVER be the end of Life.

There is always room for improvement, There is light at the end of a tunnel and possibility for a breakthrough.

PLEASE and PLEASE, always remember that when there is Life, there is Hope.

Giving up should'nt be an option.

annayawchee:
Happy Easter..

I felt I should drop this here and I need sound and helpful comments.

Growing up wasn't all that rosy, we had our challenges as family and watching my mom bear the responsibility of us all broke me.

Mom died , life became this harsh ,
I couldn't further my studies and I opt to hustle.

In the midst of this I was and still a chronic loner, I don't keep friends, always stuck with my phone and my raging thoughts.

N

I fear one day I might not be able to stop me from doing something stupid.

The bolded is your problem, I know how it feels to not have a family connection with anyone. It can be demoralizing.
My case is similar to yours, I do have a family but it appears there is no love and it can be very tough cos we are made to flourish with the love of family.

But that is life, sometimes some things are beyond us.
What you need is to start your own family, but you have to be careful, cos you are in a very vulnerable state now so avoid jumping into any relationship without proper due diligence.

SOme women will recognise your vulnerability and since you are making small change they will want to take advantage of you without genuine love.
Be careful cos if you end up with a terrible relationship in this state, you might be pushed to end your own life...

I speak from my own personal experience and can relate with your situation. Focus on having your own family and becareful to marry the right person, if you do.
Your life will have meaning and you will feel the experience the love and affection you didn't have from your own family.

Wish you goodluck.

DoctorOlasDesk:




You're neither suicidal nor depressed. You're just broke and a job is the panacea. Start the hunt. HustleHunt

alright sir

Have a great day

oldienavie:

The bolded is your problem, I know how it feels to not have a family connection with anyone. It can be demoralizing.
My case is similar to yours, I do have a family but it appears there is no love and it can be very tough cos we are made to flourish with the love of family.

But that is life, sometimes some things are beyond us.
What you need is to start your own family, but you have to be careful, cos you are in a very vulnerable state now so avoid jumping into any relationship without proper due diligence.

SOme women will recognise your vulnerability and since you are making small change they will want to take advantage of you without genuine love.
Be careful cos if you end up with a terrible relationship in this state, you might be pushed to end your own life...

I speak from my own personal experience and can relate with your situation. Focus on having your own family and becareful to marry the right person, if you do.
Your life will have meaning and you will feel the experience the love and affection you didn't have from your own family.

Wish you goodluck.

I finally saw who understand my plight...

I have a family who I'm not entirely connected to, siblings I can't share certain things with.

Some siblings felt you've arrived and you are misbehaving while you're only trying to stay afloat.

Starting a family is not an option right now cos I'm in my mid 20s and that's not a priority..

In fact I'm not the relationship kind of guy.

Too distracted to date cos I will mess it up too.

OP, don't take the advice of starting a family.

You have to be wholefully happy as a single. If you aren't happy as a single there's no guarantee you will be as a married person.

You have to pinpoint what exactly is making you unhappy. Then, you can deal with it from there.

Besides, having a relationship and knowing Jesus is very crucial. He is that unconditional friend/family you need.

Know that life is hard and we're all just doing our best.

Like an handler mentioned, "create your own family". In my own view, it doesn't have to be the one you'll first think.

Knowing that it's tough out there, you could try to identify with some 'low' in the society, the homeless or those struggling. Do your best to make them smile or laugh with some token monthly (maybe when you can). Well, you could do that to your fam too. Just do your best.

You can also have a pet, like a cat or a dog. You don't like pets? Try starting a podcast, volunteering, going out to see some movies/gaming or trying out every new restaurant around your hood.

If you're a spiritual person, you could also go deeper in knowing your God.

Those are one of the ways to finding meaning to life.

JoyousFurnitire:
Know that life is hard and we're all just doing our best.

Like an handler mentioned, "create your own family". In my own view, it doesn't have to be the one you'll first think.

Knowing that it's tough out there, you could try to identify with some 'low' in the society, the homeless or those struggling. Do your best to make them smile or laugh with some token monthly (maybe when you can). Well, you could do that to your fam too. Just do your best.

You can also have a pet, like a cat or a dog. You don't like pets? Try starting a podcast, volunteering, going out to see some movies/gaming or trying out every new restaurant around your hood.

If you're a spiritual person, you could also go deeper in knowing your God.

Those are one of the ways to finding meaning to life.

thank you

annayawchee:
I finally saw who understand my plight...

I have a family who I'm not entirely connected to, siblings I can't share certain things with.

Some siblings felt you've arrived and you are misbehaving while you're only trying to stay afloat.

Starting a family is not an option right now cos I'm in my mid 20s and that's not a priority..

In fact I'm not the relationship kind of guy.

Too distracted to date cos I will mess it up too.

When I speak to you, I do so from a wealth of experience, I have walked in your shoes and know what you are going through.
What is missing in your life is love and purpose, look for a decent lady around you and build a relationship with her, I am not asking you to go and get married tomorrow, but when you have a lady who genuinely loves you, your life will have a sense of direction

Also think of a skill that you can learn in addition to what you currently do, if you seat in your shop everyday that will not help you, when you have a skill you are learning, it gives you a sense of achievement .

oldienavie:

When I speak to you, I do so from a wealth of experience, I have walked in your shoes and know what you are going through.
What is missing in your life is love and purpose, look for a decent lady around you and build a relationship with her, I am not asking you to go and get married tomorrow, but when you have a lady who genuinely loves you, your life will have a sense of direction

Also think of a skill that you can learn in addition to what you currently do, if you seat in your shop everyday that will not help you, when you have a skill you are learning, it gives you a sense of achievement .

can we communicate outside this platform??

annayawchee:
In the midst of this I was and still a chronic loner, I don't keep friends, always stuck with my phone and my raging thoughts.
Now I run my own business and it's improving but in the midst of all this[b] I feel depressed, suffocated, life is meaningless to me.[/b]
There are days I just want to die.
I've never been genuine but I'm this guy who can make anyone laugh so hard.
In fact my face is never devoid of smile but it's all fake..
How do I get over this thoughts?
How do I find happiness??
I fear one day I might not be able to stop me from doing something stupid.

From your op, it seems the answer is Yes and Yes!

Please seek help from a professional mental health counselor so as to get you treatment so you can live a better quality of life than you currently do.

There are people praying to be in your shoes where they'd atleast know where the next meal will come from, but here you are complaining..
It's not by wealth, cos wealthy people commit suicide, divorce their partners too. I think you should look at the brighter side of life and be thankful for the things you have including air you breath in free of charge.

Perish any thought of suicide and go bear fruits and impact lives.. you'll feel more fulfilled that way.