Try n exist like she does not exist.
Or tell her you are traveling, go somewhere for like a week or more.

I think marriage should not be a glue. Give some space

[quote author=Sominablack post=112373771]Thanks all for the advice, I appreciate. But as it is now, am no longer interested in the relationship any longer, how can I do with my daughter of 7years that's the only issue bothering me now, cos I dont want her to influence her negatively.

Bros, don't be confused, marriage is between you and your wife so don't bring your daughter into this. She will later start a family of her own and live her own life.
I advise you go to your wife family meeting with a truck load of her belongings. Openly devorce your wife in the presence of her own family and be gone.
If you don't deal with it now, seemingly small domestic issues have momentum of their own and blossom into jail term, so be wise and reconstruct your life and be at peace.

why do some men marry or date women that when u have problems both of u can't resolve it and have to call 3rd parties to settle matters for u?

it shows communication problems and these don't happen overnight. u saw them, noticed them and ignored them.

Dating should not move to marriage without having enough knowledge about how u resolve issues amongst urselves. Cant be calling mother and father to settle issues everytime. i see it as a relationship weakness.

Kick her to the streets , thats where she belongs

There is no difference between one woman and another. Just choose your own headache and manage it. I have a mother, a wife, a baby mama, two daughters and two sisters, none of them is different from the other.

Kobojunkie:
1. What are examples of these "things to be done decently and in order in my family" that your wife seems vehemently opposed to?

2. What exactly is this grudge your wife holds against you? You haven't exactly told us anything about what really happened so I am not certain how you intend for you to rationally opine in this matter of yours.

3. You reported your wife, a grown woman, to her folks, didn't you? And you have been granted an even wider audience by her folks to air your grievances against your wife, so why back out now?,

You get sense.

Kingcalls:
Kick her to the streets , thats where she belongs

You are not wrong you know. But no be my mouth you go hear am.

socialmediaman:
Has she always been like this?

First of all, you're African. Don't let your wife manipulate you into having some power sharing agreement with her or any of that sort. You're the leader in your home as far as your marriage is concerned, but being a loving partner and having a peaceful home free from avoidable rebellion may need more wisdom and better leadership skills.

Do you often micromanage your wife? This may not be necessary because she is a full grown adult and can make decisions of her own when you delegate tasks and responsibilities to her.

Take for example, cleaning of dishes. Some people do that while cooking and then after meal, while some people wait till after meal when it has piled up. As long as it's done within a certain timeframe (like morning, afternoon etc), don't try to control when exactly she does it, let her handle that. Don't see her sitting down for some rest and ask her to go clean the dishes immediately like she's some child. If she's lagging in her responsibilities (e.g. not doing the dishes at all through the day) due to too much downtime, then you can step in and demand an explanation, maybe she needs better time management.

If extended family meetings are not working for her, try couples counseling and see if that works, but I recommend you honor the invitation from your in-laws and possibly go with someone/people from your extended family as well, as witness(es)

Make your home conducive for her, but if she still insists on leaving and continues to be malcontent, maybe she needs some space for her emotional well-being, don't force her to stay so that you both don't end up in a toxic situation

abi space to Bleep the other dick ni

Sominablack:
Greeting Nairalanders,
My wifes attitude has been unbecoming, disrespectful, avoiding intimacy for months, insultive and always playing the silent treatment which I have learnt to ignore. Her mum visited and confirmed these attitude, she did counsel and advised her to change yet she was reluctant and stated she dont want to continue being a wife that she has lost love and feelings for me because I want things to be done decently and in order in my family which she is opposed to. Having observed this her mum left angrily and told the matter to her husband to confirm some of the issues of my wifes behaviour which I had stressed on and as a result had a family meeting with her family since I was invited not long ago.

Now with the attitude still being displayed by her, her dad asked me to come down to the village by next week so the issue will be discussed in their larger family so that my wife would come and explain to them why she is behaving the way she is doing, but not up to three months we had a meeting and now this one billed for next week again.I dont feel like honouring the meeting because I have done my best to follow peace even though I cannot fathom where I am at fault. At this juncture what do I do?

Oga divorce the witch....your peace of mind isn't negotiable....if you go on like this na hbp go kill you...divorce the witch and marry anoda woman.

ShenTeh:
'Those things' are really difficult to spell out in a marriage.
In my experience I later realized that it is[b] 'respect', 'mutual respect',[/b]and defining those things is often difficult to third parties.

2. I am assuming people who are married just understands what the op was trying to say.

1. But in all relationships, 'respect' beyond that of the basic kind, is meant to be earned, not demanded. When demanded what is given is 'fear', which isnt respect.

2. I am afraid your assumption is wrong since not all married individuals assume things like 'respect' fall under "things".

Try again!

Sominablack:
Thanks all for the advice, I appreciate. But as it is now, am no longer interested in the relationship any longer, how can I do with my daughter of 7years that's the only issue bothering me now, cos I dont want her to influence her negatively.

Cc:
Lalasticlala
Mynd44
Obinoscopy
Etc.

When u have a scenario like this...
Pls ignore Madam and her behaviour for a while..
And get on your knees to pray...
Certain things will shift ... when we pray..

Is anyone among you suffering hardships? Let him pray. James 5 13

You can ignore and intimate at the same time. Choose one.

Kobojunkie:
1. But in all relationships, 'respect' beyond that of the basic kind, is meant to be earned, not demanded. When demanded what is given is 'fear', which isnt respect.

2. I am afraid your assumption is wrong since not all married individuals assume things like 'respect' fall under "things".

Try again!

You win.

jaxxy:
1. why do some men marry or date women that when u have problems both of u can't resolve it and have to call 3rd parties to settle matters for u?

it shows communication problems and these don't happen overnight. u saw them, noticed them and ignored them.

2. Dating should not move to marriage without having enough knowledge about how u resolve issues amongst urselves. Cant be calling mother and father to settle issues everytime. i see it as a relationship weakness.

1. I personally consider that very immature on the part of those who do it.

2. I concur! If 2 adults can't even resolve issues amongst themselves, they have no business getting married in the first place.

Lots of marriages are like this lately and I don't know why yet but i am guessing this female Facebook pages where they share different stories are largely contributing to it or maybe I am just tripping. Wahala wey social media go cause ehn, internet nor go fit solve am.

Do not fight your Wife. Leave the House without telling her for 2 weeks. She will change if she loves you.

ShenTeh:
You win.

This isn't about winning but me pointing out that even where relationships are concerned, we don't all, mentally, exists within the same box for you to assume the way A thinks is most definitely the way M thinks.

Sominablack:
Greeting Nairalanders,
My wifes attitude has been unbecoming, disrespectful, avoiding intimacy for months, insultive and always playing the silent treatment which I have learnt to ignore. Her mum visited and confirmed these attitude, she did counsel and advised her to change yet she was reluctant and stated she dont want to continue being a wife that she has lost love and feelings for me because A. I want things to be done decently and in order in my family which she is opposed to. Having observed this her mum left angrily and told the matter to her husband to confirm some of the issues of my wifes behaviour which I had stressed on and as a result had a family meeting with her family since I was invited not long ago.

Now with the attitude still being displayed by her, B. her dad asked me to come down to the village by next week so the issue will be discussed in their larger family so that my wife would come and explain to them why she is behaving the way she is doing,
but not up to three months we had a meeting and now this one billed for next week again.
C. I dont feel like honouring the meeting because I have done my best to follow peace even though I cannot fathom where I am at fault. At this juncture what do I do?

A. Control freek...you are lying.

B. Your have a chance to voice your issue and sort things out once and for all. But nairaland seems to be better when no one has heard your wife's side of the story.

C. You want to chicken out because you know your wife will expose every every.

You are the cause of your problem.

You better open the door and let her go before we hear stories that touch aka acid attack or violence.living with a woman who doesn't love you is like living with a snake.the day E bite you,it would do so unapologetically

Well I’m a redpilled man and I’ll tell you this ,
If she was not like this before you married her, then you don’t have any blame. But if she showed all these and you still went ahead , then you short yourself ..

Normally marriage no Dey rosy , u don already put yourself for the marriage palava, check within yourself , and try to be more friendly and caring for her.

This is the mother of your kid, treat her like your second half and spice things up .. before you marry a woman , I believe you understand her to certain extent, try repeat things you did that made her fall in love with you at first ..
But that doesn’t mean you should simp around ,, or should have limit cos women sabi abuse things ..

After you do all these and she seems not to change , then it’s high time you counted your loss and move on .. let her go and take your time before you dabble into another relationship . Love do fade tbh

elonmuskbaby:
You better open the door and let her go before we hear stories that touch aka acid attack or violence.living with a woman who doesn't love you is like living with a snake.the day E bite you,it would do so unapologetically

Do women truly love?
I dont really buy that.

All that is needed for a realtionship to run is respect and everyone pulling their own weight, the man providing and the woman nuturing.

Sominablack:
Greeting Nairalanders,
My wifes attitude has been unbecoming, disrespectful, avoiding intimacy for months, insultive and always playing the silent treatment which I have learnt to ignore. Her mum visited and confirmed these attitude, she did counsel and advised her to change yet she was reluctant and stated she dont want to continue being a wife that she has lost love and feelings for me because I want things to be done decently and in order in my family which she is opposed to. Having observed this her mum left angrily and told the matter to her husband to confirm some of the issues of my wifes behaviour which I had stressed on and as a result had a family meeting with her family since I was invited not long ago.

Now with the attitude still being displayed by her, her dad asked me to come down to the village by next week so the issue will be discussed in their larger family so that my wife would come and explain to them why she is behaving the way she is doing, but not up to three months we had a meeting and now this one billed for next week again.I dont feel like honouring the meeting because I have done my best to follow peace even though I cannot fathom where I am at fault. At this juncture what do I do?

Baba you dey waste time, hide your preeq and unclothedness from her too, no kissing and no hugging. Serve her divorce notice, clear her that you want divorce, no time to check time

Guyman02:
Tired of marital problems on Nairaland.
Walks out of thread, just go to this SIMPle man here for advice on how to be a Dorling

Is he not married?

Have you heard any scandal from his end?

Pity you came from a broken home.

Sominablack:
Greeting Nairalanders,
My wifes attitude has been unbecoming, disrespectful, avoiding intimacy for months, insultive and always playing the silent treatment which I have learnt to ignore. Her mum visited and confirmed these attitude, she did counsel and advised her to change yet she was reluctant and stated she dont want to continue being a wife that she has lost love and feelings for me because I want things to be done decently and in order in my family which she is opposed to. Having observed this her mum left angrily and told the matter to her husband to confirm some of the issues of my wifes behaviour which I had stressed on and as a result had a family meeting with her family since I was invited not long ago.

Now with the attitude still being displayed by her, her dad asked me to come down to the village by next week so the issue will be discussed in their larger family so that my wife would come and explain to them why she is behaving the way she is doing, but not up to three months we had a meeting and now this one billed for next week again.I dont feel like honouring the meeting because I have done my best to follow peace even though I cannot fathom where I am at fault. At this juncture what do I do?

Seperate from her to preserve your sanity and if after 3 months she didn't feel remorseful.Give her a divorce.

Since she said she had lost love for you, another guy probably her ex done dey Bleep her. Simple

Sominablack:
Greeting Nairalanders,
My wifes attitude has been unbecoming, disrespectful, avoiding intimacy for months, insultive and always playing the silent treatment which I have learnt to ignore. Her mum visited and confirmed these attitude, she did counsel and advised her to change yet she was reluctant and stated she dont want to continue being a wife that she has lost love and feelings for me because I want things to be done decently and in order in my family which she is opposed to. Having observed this her mum left angrily and told the matter to her husband to confirm some of the issues of my wifes behaviour which I had stressed on and as a result had a family meeting with her family since I was invited not long ago.

Now with the attitude still being displayed by her, her dad asked me to come down to the village by next week so the issue will be discussed in their larger family so that my wife would come and explain to them why she is behaving the way she is doing, but not up to three months we had a meeting and now this one billed for next week again.I dont feel like honouring the meeting because I have done my best to follow peace even though I cannot fathom where I am at fault. At this juncture what do I do?

me I can't stand attitude woman, I will just marry second wife, if second wife too get attitude I will marry 3rd, till thier brain reset. Man with many wife they get respect and peace of mind

Kobojunkie:
This isn't about winning but me pointing out that even where relationships are concerned, we don't all, mentally, exists within the same box for you to assume the way A thinks is most definitely the way M thinks.

Even now, you win.

ShenTeh:


Even now, you win.

Lol, you did well, who argues with that woman btw?

@Op, e dey like ah for carry plank wire that your head...
Na woman dey make you worry like this
No marry this girls una dey see, una no wan hear...
Na your cross, carry am...
Naija gals are meant to be fvvkd and dumped... Beyond this na you go hear am...

You know what i think, i think marriages has lost it's flavour. What i want to say might not be in line of the OP problem, but the "lost love and feeling" part got me. I believe people want to be free in marriages and exhibit attitude they had while in their father's house. Alot of people go into marriages with plan B, not a plan B in terms of finances or other things that'll benefit both party, the plan B kicks in when there is a shift in the normal routine of exhibiting love for each other. At this stage we can now say marriage is give and take, forget what our fathers told us. People no longer want to be commited, responsible, heed to correction or advice. I always say, the confines of marriages are rigid, someone said she doesn't love her partner and they're calling family meeting, for what exactly, to reinstall an updated version of love. If a woman said that to me, forget, my love for her don die. Somepeople don't want to salvage any marriage, they want out. Instead of asking for a family meeting, ask her in front of her parents if she wants a divorce or not, make we no dey beat around the bush. Tell her to pour her mind. Somepeople don't need your hand while they're drowning, let them be, let the water carry them, if they survive, good, if they choose to be one with the tide, say your goodbyes. Masallam