This is a lesson to all men out there. Don't always take in a woman to be cohabiting with you when you haven't done any necessary rite to warrant that. Reminds me of my ex then that wanted to leave her family house and come live with me. I thought about all this and declined despite the allures of a lovely sex. I told her blatantly that I must have done at least introduction with the girl's family before she can come live with me and I know I was not ready for introduction

@op, you called for her burial like you said. You want to do the burial as your wife or your girlfriend. You allowed yourself to be deceived by living and banging the girl without paying her dowry for years. And now you are taking about your son. Who told you that boy is your son? What made that child your son? My friend go and settle the family. Let it be a lesson to you and so many other guys out there including the girls who think that marriage is all about living with a guy in the same room, and giving birth to kids without paying her bride price. No tribe in Igboland would allow you to take that child without the necessary things being done.

dawnomike:
Since you redused to do the needful when she was alive; You've got to go and pay her dowry or leave the boy as their daughter's son and she was never your wife... It is the right thing to do in the igbo culture

Ah aaah. There you go. We all know the primitive tribe that does this rubbish.

ibechris:



Then what is your reason for bringing it up when u have decided before coming here.

An uncle of mine did it and today he has remarried and continued his life.

Is Ur uncle Igbo himself?

This guy no need advise oooo, make na leave am, as he is acting Mr know it all, that son wen make u bring the matter here no go be ur own again if u no listen. Its in all tribe

U carry girl knack her left,right and center for how many years she come born son wen now dey 3years u no fear God

StilmaVsBorn2w:

Why would I carry it to the village..?
It's already in the morgue, for her people arrival, it's their daughter.
Have done my most vital parts borrowing money to save her now am in debts, if you want me to marry her corpse because am scared. My brother your wrong.

StilmaVsBorn2w:

No I won't

Bro you gat to pay her dowry/bride price. Pay what you need to pay it doesn't remove anything from you, it makes the spirit of the gal you've been copulating with even before her demise happy, if you don't pay the dowry, you won't enjoy that boy.

I contributed my own share of levy to assist a cousin pay the bride price of her dead baby mama who bore three kids for him without getting married.
That is the only condition for which custom and tradition of her people will confer legitimacy to the children she bore for my cousin before her death.
It is the traditional way of punishing formication. There is no traditional/customary legitimacy on a child born out of wedlock in many culture in Nigeria especially in the Igbo speaking parts.
Go and settle her people please!

ImaIma1:


This is just initial gra gra because you don't understand the magnitude of what has happened. This is not even a out the tribe. Most tribes do this.

They will just be watching you as you are chopping their daughter/sister for free. You even got her pregnant. Now she died without getting the proper rites done for her.

You will pay her brideprice. Ask your mum and your people what they think.

Chop for free? He took care of her. That is him paying his due. See. Nothing will happen to him. Nothing. Rubbish backward mindset. When she was eating his money, she wasn't eating him abi

......


You already made up your mind not to pay her bride price what advice do you want again??

Let's just hope the girl is not from Delta State...

@Op, I have taken time to read your post, comments and your responses to those contributions and I must say I am embarrassed. The point is, if you truly brought this very SERIOUS topic here seeking for advice then be humble enough to listen to the advises. Many have giving you advice which is to go and do the needful and all I read from you is "I won't" so what advice did you want from us?

Let me tell you this, you don't know what you are into yet that is why you are still proving sturbborn. When the whole thing comes heavily on you, you will go and do the needful. Take it from me, everything is not gra gra especially when you are the one wrong by living and impregnating someone's daughter without paying her bride price first.

Again, I red you say if they want to go with your son you will allow them and I wonder if you truly love your son. More, that sounds to me like you are a selfish and heart hardened fellow. Oh I see, your thought let me guess is that when the boy is of age he will come looking for you as the father right because of that you are not bothered abi? What if they kill him as he is growing up?

Please don't be foolishly smart. You can't eat your cake and have it. It is either you honourably go and sort things with them or you get ready for what is to come.

Peace.

@ OP, although am not in support of the past.. cos sometimes bride price..may just b showing up with ur parents & in her parent's house with Fanta.. then they will all understand that u re the husband even if u re super poor.

but back to what is on ground now..

(1) stand your ground & make sure that ur son is with ur family..
(2) get a medical report/death certificate
(3) get a police report
(4) then with this, if her family still refused u to talk about the burial rites either u bury her in the cemetery or leave her corpse with the govt.
(5) go and protect yourself with prayers (go to church and b very spiritual).
(6) Lastly, relocate with your son ASAP (i.e as soon as possible) to another state..
(7) don't repeat this mistake again

Culture, I know a man that was forced to finish his remaining marriage rite before burial, yes he did. both families are in peace now.

See here for yourself if you no dey fear traditions

T0T0fucker:

Simp assz licking niggas.

Op, nor mind this fool!

Nothing him and his family fit do you...nor go borrow money marry death body o.
Infact leave his sister for the mortuary, make you travel out live your life.

When them ready they go carry the dead body

You were not brought up in a good home. Keep pushing the OP to the brinks with the useless "morale" wey you dey give am.
Make sure you meet with him and share in the consequences that befalls him.

wunmi590:


This same stubbornness is what your mum adviced you about before delving into the relationship....

Bros, you will pay it, the only things is just that it might not be much like how it should have been when she was alive.....

it will definitely be more than. We have one in my town now, almost one yr and the family of the boy is still on it. U won marry but u no won pay bride price or you no get the money to pay. If I talk for here, u go d challenge me just like u are doing to all. U can never have peace untill u do the needful

StilmaVsBorn2w:

I informed them for the burial arrangements not for marriage ceremony

See HW it sounds very easy in ur mouth...u called for burial arrangements not for marriage ceremony...when ur mother was telling u what to do u didn't listen to her...now yawa done gass ur looking for advice...they were asking u tribe u refused to talk that show d kind of person u are....go and do d needful u don't need advice from us.

Op will probably still do what's on his mind, he's only here to throw a subtle shade on the tribe of his wife. That he declined to say the tribe doesn't mean he wants to protect the tribe. He asked for help and someone asked for more details(probably to know how best to advice him or probably shade the tribe too), but he declined, believing that the person has no good reasons to ask for the tribe. That's the same reason he didn't heed to his moms advises too. I feel over stubbornness dey him body

RIP to your woman, God bless you and give you and her family the strength to bare the lose. And also protect the child she left behind.

But always be open to consider others opinion in the future

DryMouth:

What nonsense are you pple typing?
So you are telling him to go marry a corpse?

Omo! Omo!! Omo!!!

Bros, wetin dey worry OP na burial Money. It is actually a tradition, and people have been doing it, it's not as if he is going to marry the corpse, and they'll pose for photo ops and dance, no. If OP has the money, what he'll do is to just fix paying of the bride same day with the burial. He will come with everything needed for the bride price, family collects item and the money for the woman's head, small ceremony, the lady is buried same day, OP goes home with his child.

Sorry to ask why are they demanding you marry her,is it because she bore you a son,or what ?
Okay what about if you 2 were just living together as boyfriend and girlfriend with no child,before this incident happen,will they still force you to come and do the necessary thing ?[color=#006600][/color]

emperor863:


If most tribes are like that, mine isn't. For keeping the lady with him without performing the requisite rites is bad enough but it is not the end of the world. There are more sophisticated ways of addressing the issue apart from marrying a corpse.

The op is talking about money to Mary the corpse not knowing that he has not heard the worst. The worst part of the unfolding scenario is that after the 'marriage', they would tell him to have sex with the corpse to consummate the marriage.

What savagery.

You can't be serious, consummate which marriage with a corpse. ���

samuel1986:
@op, you called for her burial like you said. You want to do the burial as your wife or your girlfriend. You allowed yourself to be deceived by living and banging the girl without paying her dowry for years. And now you are taking about your son. Who told you that boy is your son? What made that child your son? My friend go and settle the family. Let it be a lesson to you and so many other guys out there including the girls who think that marriage is all about living with a guy in the same room, and giving birth to kids without paying her bride price. No tribe in Igboland would allow you to take that child without the necessary things being done.

Lol. He is his son because the kid has his DNA. Nothing culture fit do. If na me I go jus Ignore call pack. come claim my pikin if I no kill yu throw way

StilmaVsBorn2w:

I informed them for the burial arrangements not for marriage ceremony

Good morning, burial arrangement in your village or her village? Someone you didn't pay her bride price, will it be appropriate to bury her in your village or you would take someone's late daughter that they don't know you formally as their in-law to her village for burial?

We all must be careful when we do somethings, using the current situation of things in Nigeria as an excuse is wrong because the situation in Nigeria could have discourage you from keeping her in your house; you were feeding her, providing for her while she was in your house so don't talk about the situation in Nigeria, thank you.

StilmaVsBorn2w:

No I won't

Who is begging you to pay? No worry! Just pray its not this set of people ....... By the time they summon you (before a diety) diobolically it might be too late for you. And do not forget that you're indebted to them.

Ode!

And what if you both have maybe 1 child and you both separated before she die,but you did not pay her dairy,will the family still call you to come and burry her

honeyball:
IF YOU PAY HER DIARY NOW, YOU HAVE MADE COVENANT WITH THE DEAD.

DON'T TRY IT.

Africa with their devilish tradition.

so he wasn't making covenant with her when he was busy fučkin her day and night!

duro4chang:
The reasonable advice your mama give you no take am shey na our own you go take?

I dey tell you , I feel he's even arrogant sef.

Go and do the right thing on time and have the custody of your son or they make life difficult for you.

StilmaVsBorn2w:

This don't scare me, I don't believe a man can harm me this way or my family.
I can't Marry her corpse

Since you made up your mind, why are you nairakand seeking advice?

StilmaVsBorn2w:

I informed them for the burial arrangements not for marriage ceremony

How can you bury someone that is not in any way related to you?

You don't want to pay her dowry, release her corpse to the family and that's it. You have absolutely no right to inform them of any nonsense burial arrangements neither will you be informed if you dump her corpse with them and they choose to bury her

StilmaVsBorn2w:

No I won't

brother why don't u want to pay bride price?

StilmaVsBorn2w:

Initial gra gra bah? Come and force me

You stubborn sha. No wonder you refused to obey your mom OR pay your girlfriend’s bride price till death. You fit borrow money to save her life and to do her burial, but refused to borrow to save her from the shame of being an ordinary baby mama. Stop being selfish, go and negotiate with her family.


I’m guessing your late baby name is from Akwa Ibom

harmargedon:
i see that tribalism gives your flaccid dick an erection. Be careful not to get an eternal ban.

Mumu. This is not about being tribalistic. It is pure fact. Such tradition ought to have been jettisoned by the Easterners years ago.

Brume001:


Chop for free? He took care of her. That is him paying his due. See. Nothing will happen to him. Nothing. Rubbish backward mindset. When she was eating his money, she wasn't eating him abi

He took someone's daughter and kept her in his house and made her his wife without doing the proper rites. She even had a child in that union. Who else was supposed to take care of her in his house? You? If she were to be in her parents' house, they would have been taking care of her there.

You are talking from the standpoint of a man and a "Nigerian girl". If you were looking at it from the point of view that she's your daughter, your response would be different.

It's not my mindset that is the topic here. The people whose daughter/sister he camped in her house are the ones you should direct your anger to. One thing is for sure...he's playing with his son's relationship with him.