Bobloco:


He can't take the issue to his family because he was warned before hand by his mother but he blatantly refused and went ahead with the relationship

Still they Can't leave stubborn son for Lion to kill if he try to sleep and cool his mind off and ready to do the needful he will see family and friends that can follow him go,and he needs to act sober in front of them cos they hv all the leverages now.

Is okay, already happen, nothing lake Marry Corp,go and marry Corp mean go and pay the bride price,
From there u can say, u don't have money , but promise them u will pay if u come get change.,
That's all,
Rip.

I know that tribe...

TyroneP:


He's done his best by notifying them of her demise to rule out culpability. Hearsay is not admissible in court. She doesn't need to take the corpse to the village. Her people should come for that. It is his own decision if he will take the body to the village or attend the funeral. What they're toiling with is a criminal case in the embryo if op decides to make a move on that.

You seem to forget that you're dealing with Africans in Africa.

A convict is currently a Governor, Judges residence were raided, courts of coordinate jurisdiction give different judgments to different bidders, Orji Uzor is a free man today etc. I mentioned these cases to let you know that the family can DEAL with the OP and absolutely nothing will happen.

You can speak all the English language you want but if he dares steps into that village without doing what they told him to do, he might not live to tell the tale.


P.S Notifying them of the death doesn't rule out culpability.

Snowx:
Oga I very necessary..go and do the needful..and stop blabbing. You hardly see a tribe that doesn't do that.

May the soul o your wife rest in peace.

plenty don't do that.

ibechris:



Then it is not a must for him to talk about a child out of wedlock.

Life do happen and you can't change that. He's the one entertaining them. If they are not responding, do everything within law to bury the girl. And move on with his life.

SocialJustice:
Do not give them that boy, they are very wicked people and will either maltreat the boy or use him to extort you.

Get the police involved. If police can't handle the matter to your taste then go to court. This is the only way because I can see your primitive in laws are out to kill you.

Please no need to get angry or quarrel,

Stupid people are not exclusive to a certain tribe, they are everywhere so no need making this tribal.

Put yourself in the family’s shoes. You expect them to be happy that someone took their daughter for years without performing any marriage rite . Police or court won’t do anything for him because this is customary issue and customary court will rule against him .

The child is not your son. You did not pay the mum's dowry.

The child belongs to her family

My advice is that you honour tradition. I know you love your wife and you didn't plan this to happen, but it has happened anyway. If the right thing wasn't done at the right time, I don't expect things to be rossy at the end.
Accept to marry her, you will get a picture frame of her, do the necessary marriage arrangement , then on that wedding day you will tell them she is unavoidably absent, don't tell them she's dead. Then after some days you will bring the news of her death to her family through a respectable man preferable the oldest in your family. Then you plan the burial rite.
Actually , if you were in good term with her family, they should know what to do.
You can't skip it, cus it's tradition, but they can make it less difficult for you. Pls, drop every form of stubbornness. let the right thing be done.

vincenteger:
I just kept wondering why people are still giving you advice.
You already said you won't marry her and that's your final decision.
Please go and do what ever is in your mind.
And for your information, you have no right to put her in the mortuary without the presence of a relative, she's not your wife remember.

Nonsense, what will the family do if they put her in thr mortuary or even bury her (with reasonable notification)? This is not 16th century.

StilmaVsBorn2w:
Back then when my mom was warning me not to go that far when our relationship started She kept on insisting I should go for the girls in my tribe, I thought she was just been a tribalist bigot. If only I had listened

She bore me a son, he's 3years now... though her people knows me well from normal visitation..but I haven't been able to pay her bride price yet due to the hardship this regime has on us. life happened, unfortunately she got sick since February, ever since then from one hospital to another..I took several loans from people for hospital bills to the point of me looking sick myself.so sad for us we lost her last night.

I informed her elder brother who knows about all thats happening, he called me back this morning to tell me that his people told me to be prepared to marry her corpse. He went further and said if I don't pay her bride price, my boy will be taken from me and I should be ready to withstand the consequences.
I was surprised, I called for the burial arrangements not for a marriage ceremony

I blantly told him, I won't, why would I get married to her corpse. He was angry and cut the call on me.

Am more concerned about my son, please lawyer's in the house do they have any right to take my son away from me?
Even if they do am ready to give it to them, but spending money to Marry her corpse I will not.

I only brought this here, if had chance for my son whose still in my custody.

you have to burry the dead and marry the corpse if not you might find life as hell oooo

duro4chang:
The reasonable advice your mama give you no take am shey na our own you go take?

savage

This is tradition which must be obeyed.Do as instructed before inviting trouble to yourself.
Ask for the requirements and do the needful.A word is enough for the wise.

StilmaVsBorn2w:
Back then when my mom was warning me not to go that far when our relationship started She kept on insisting I should go for the girls in my tribe, I thought she was just been a tribalist bigot. If only I had listened

She bore me a son, he's 3years now... though her people knows me well from normal visitation..but I haven't been able to pay her bride price yet due to the hardship this regime has on us. life happened, unfortunately she got sick since February, ever since then from one hospital to another..I took several loans from people for hospital bills to the point of me looking sick myself.so sad for us we lost her last night.

I informed her elder brother who knows about all thats happening, he called me back this morning to tell me that his people told me to be prepared to marry her corpse. He went further and said if I don't pay her bride price, my boy will be taken from me and I should be ready to withstand the consequences.
I was surprised, I called for the burial arrangements not for a marriage ceremony

I blantly told him, I won't, why would I get married to her corpse. He was angry and cut the call on me.

Am more concerned about my son, please lawyer's in the house do they have any right to take my son away from me?
Even if they do am ready to give it to them, but spending money to Marry her corpse I will not.

I only brought this here, if had chance for my son whose still in my custody.

You're using the current government as an excuse not to pay bride price when the lady was alive yet you find it worthwhile to be banging her despite the hardship.

Others are paying bride price since then so stop this your useless excuses of blame game and focus on how to settle the issue.

That's igbo tradition deal with it.

My brother NEVER DO WHAT YOUR SPIRIT BODY AND SOUL IS AGAINST.. Her death though sad, has saved you from the kind of in-laws you would have had... Let no man put you in bondage with these demonic and obsolete ways of thinking.. How can someone in the 21st century be telling you to marry a corpse for Christ sake..If they take the son from you don't worry, as far you have no hand in her death, one day the boy will know the whole truth and nothing but the truth..

jokinexcel:
Something like happened in my community, the family of the girl asked the guy to come and pay the bride price he refused, so the girl's family changed the case to kidnap and murder case , that they have been looking for their daughter for years , only for the guy who they claimed that they have never seen or know to inform them of their daughter's death . So they claimed that the guy kidnap and murder their daughter.

omo which side u dey?, Make we shoch am.

StilmaVsBorn2w:

Let them bring it on.
I said I won't, I can't marry a corpse

Then forget about thechild.

Na woman dey get pikin, na she sabi who put am belle..
What if she told the family no be u get the pikin...

Go do d needful and get ur son if not they might kill him too.

Lemme tell u what happened to someone i know, the guy papa bin die, person come marry the first daughter, instead of the mama to inform the husband's family and involve them in the marriage stuff, she did it alone as madam Oliver Twist..

The husband people poured libation, invoke spirit of death.. The daughter died.
Though she had 2kids, the husband send them to their granny..

Just this year, we were working very close to the guy's compound, the police man securing the compound told us the woman lost her grandchild...
And that she had already lost the the girl sometime last year..
So the entire of the daughter and her 2kids gone..

Bobo even Jesus advised give unto ceasar what belongs to ceasar..

Go and negotiate the marital stuffs..
Do what u can so u will keep ur child..

Even court won't favour u

Timekeeper452:
The advises on this thread are just weird, he should go ahead to marry a corpse because the family of the corpse wants it. Bro involve a lawyer.

U re next on line,ur own self go bad pass like this,all this small small children self..u think this one is church thing ad religion...e go clear for ur eye ...

Ilaje1:


Na you dey give them attention. Just ignore and move on with your life.

LoL. And who's the father of the kid? They are still insisting he's mine.

So would he grow without a father? And what if he comes in the future claiming I'm his father? Imagine I'm in a political office then or running for one? That's mad scandal.

sweetjohn:
You are quick to blame Africa but no white man go about taking people's daughters without the knowledge of the parent or even marrying her. The white people are more discipline bin their deeds and actions and as a result don't need all this African cultures.

But here in Nigeria, some fools will just take someone daughter, got her pregnant without even paying her bride price and when she die will just go and dump the dead body for her parents. Is this not witchcraft?

People like you will even go any length to kill the man for disrespecting your daughter, you and your family. And that's total disrespect to the entire family anyway

And some fools will just take someone's son, got pregnant for him without knowing his family.

StilmaVsBorn2w:

I don't believe in curses, A man can not define my fate in life..I was more concerned about my son that's why I brought it here.
I fear no man

Give Cissa what belong to Cissa and have peace, it doesn't cost much is negotiateable.

As far as Igbo culture is concern, you only have option of the two available to you. Choose which you can for, do it and forge ahead. Stop being stubborn about the abominable thing you've committed. In a sane society, your type should be ashamed for having a child out if wedlock. Though, people are define by the society that gave birth to them.

TyroneP:


He's done his best by notifying them of her demise to rule out culpability. Hearsay is not admissible in court. She doesn't need to take the corpse to the village. Her people should come for that. It is his own decision if he will take the body to the village or attend the funeral. What they're toiling with is a criminal case in the embryo if op decides to make a move on that.

You never see case .... Lmao..... please come to my village and try something like this, then you tell us that its our responsibility to come pick our daughter from the mortuary.... Am from ORLU LGA, IMO STATE..
Then you will know that even wife that you married legally, when she dies, whether she dies young or old, there are some requirements to be fulfilled before she is buried... If you want to help OP, tell him to go back to his MOTHER and KINSMEN and seek for wise counsel... because if the kasala burst finish, nobody on nairaland will save his ass or donate a dime to him. Nairaland gra gra will not solve anything or bury the dead..

StilmaVsBorn2w:

I informed them for the burial arrangements not for marriage ceremony

U informed them as son-inlaw or elder brother or extended cousin?

StilmaVsBorn2w:

I don't believe in curses, A man can not define my fate in life..I was more concerned about my son that's why I brought it here.
I fear no man

Your son?

Did I just hear you say your son?

The boy is not your son until you pay the mum's dowry.

StilmaVsBorn2w:
Back then when my mom was warning me not to go that far when our relationship started She kept on insisting I should go for the girls in my tribe, I thought she was just been a tribalist bigot. If only I had listened

She bore me a son, he's 3years now... though her people knows me well from normal visitation..but I haven't been able to pay her bride price yet due to the hardship this regime has on us. life happened, unfortunately she got sick since February, ever since then from one hospital to another..I took several loans from people for hospital bills to the point of me looking sick myself.so sad for us we lost her last night.

I informed her elder brother who knows about all thats happening, he called me back this morning to tell me that his people told me to be prepared to marry her corpse. He went further and said if I don't pay her bride price, my boy will be taken from me and I should be ready to withstand the consequences.
I was surprised, I called for the burial arrangements not for a marriage ceremony

I blantly told him, I won't, why would I get married to her corpse. He was angry and cut the call on me.

Am more concerned about my son, please lawyer's in the house do they have any right to take my son away from me?
Even if they do am ready to give it to them, but spending money to Marry her corpse I will not.

I only brought this here, if had chance for my son whose still in my custody.

Believe it or not you will marry her corpse, you will pay her pride price and do traditional marriage before burial

Shoodboi:


LoL. And who's the father of the kid? They are still insisting he's mine.

So would he grow without a father? And what if he comes in the future claiming I'm his father? Imagine I'm in a political office then or running for one? That's mad scandal.

As long as the DNA says he's not yours. Move on, no one can force a child on you except you want them to. Cut all communication from them. If the child comes in future, show him the result and even carry out another test to show you are not responsible for him. It shows the girl wasn't faithful.

Some of you can be very silly. He took her banging her morning afternoon night. She didn’t bang him too? Did he force her to be with him?

Because he didn’t bring you oil & yam tubers that invalidates what they shared? C’mon. If the family was okay with their daughter being with him before death, why are they now acting up?

If the bride price was so important to them they should have asked their daughter to come back home & not wait till she died. What nonsense all in the name of culture.

calmness0:
Op, most tribes act like that, you did not pay bride price and you have been with another persons daughter for years, banging morning afternoon night without paying bride price, you never knew death can knock early right? if it were your sister nko, op go and settle her family.

Obinna666:

U re next on line,ur own self go bad pass like this,all this small small children self..u think this one is church thing ad religion...e go clear for ur eye ...

empty threats, that’s the only thing majority of Nigerians are good at. Stop living in your illusion.

StilmaVsBorn2w:


What will hard, they kill me?

This guy, your foolhardiness is about to ruin you. What exactly are you trying to prove? Church you don't attend, Jesus; you don't know and now you have demolished a young woman through fornication. Look, her family will run you down without stress. Stay there dey form hard guy. They are about to give you a letter to deliver to their daughter. Go get a bible and read (Genesis 34) about what the sons of Jacob did to the Shechemites when the king's son defiled their sister.

StilmaVsBorn2w:

You here for the tribe only?
Or to give me reasonable advise?

Oga at least you telling us the tribe will help us not to fall victim as well...

All the trashy comments i de read for here..most of this people na mumu,sabi ur language,no! ,Ur culture no!..some of u dont know road to ur country home self, but e no de hard una to learn another person tradition,just so i make it clear to the fools here,even buhari,buhari cannot even run away from this one,go and ask ngige what Happened to him,no be by gra gra ..if hands touch u ma man ,op if hands touch u,u re lucky the family is decent to ask u for Normal cos e get strong head brothers wey for don knack u shot along time ago